A/N: i'm sorry to people who have been waiting for my other stories, its just this came to my mind. so right now my main focus is this story here.
anyway, i donot own twilight. it belongs to mrs. myers but i do own my oc's tho. :) please tell me what you all think.
also i donot own the song eithor. it belongs to evens. i just love her!!:)
Bella's P.O.V
There are three things in life that I'm most certain in life are,
1.) Never- and I mean never trust men. Any human being that is male because they will only hurt you in the end,
2.) When people say that they wish that they could go back being a little kid again…well there wrong. Why? You ask me, cause when little kids (who we wish we were) get in big trouble; they wish that they would grow up. In my opinion, people who wish this crap are better off dead or they wish that they were never born.
3.) And thirdly, they only people that you can rely on is yourself.
"Um- Momma? When can I get up?" she asked.
And she is my daughter. Pardon my manners. I must have forgotten to introduce my self. Well my name is Isabella Marie Swan. I'm 17 years old currently living with my abusive father Charlie Swan, my just turned 5 daughter Annabella Ilyssa Swan. Yes, she's five years old and I'm what seventeen? Well news to you buddy, I was raped at age 11 and I had her on my birthday, September 13. She is the most beautiful daughter that you could ever have. With her golden blonde hair, which are big spiral curls, her eyes, you can actually get lost in them, are that perfect color of violet. When Charlie is sober he always wonders why her eyes are like that. And my only response is "they are the same color of her father, Charlie." And he just drops its. I know that He regrets it, but if he was the perfect father I would have not made the three rules that I live by.
"Well sweetie, how does it sound if we take a nice hot shower, grab something to eat, and I will drop you off at your first day of school?" Her eyes lit up at the word school.
Ugh. I hate that word. That is where all three rules apply. I may not look like it, but I really do get bullied at school…constantly.
I should let you in on another secret… well I'm pregnant… again. But the good news is that they are perfectly fine. Yes, twins. Usually people don't like having twins and its kind of to late to abort now, I'm well- 8 months pregnant. Well please don't be hard on me, but please let me introduce Jedmette James Alexander Swan and Ali-Rosa Amber Paris Swan. They're due any minute now. Yes being 8 months pregnant and ready to pop sounds quite interesting, nut really its not. Why? Cause first off, I have this disorder, which only makes me gain little weight with the pregnancy. My mom had the same thing with both my brother and me.
Did I mention that I have an older brother? Sorry if I forgot. Well his name is Emmett McCartney Swan. Now it is Emmett McCartney Swan-Cullen. He actually left me a few weeks before Abie was born. He doesn't know about the abuse that Charlie usually gives me, hell he doesn't even realize that I'm his little sister that he abounded, bullies at school and that he has a niece at home that gets hit when Charlie knocks out. Example number two why I love rule number 1.
"Momma the water is ready," she yells. "Coming sweetie!" I responded. I can't wait till I turn 18 because when I do; her, my two little angels, and I will be on the first plane out of here. As I strip out of my close, I look in the mirror and I my mother. Not me, but my mother. I still miss her.
I pick up my little girl and I place her on my hip so I can make sure to get out the dried blood in her hair. Then I place her on the built-in bench so I can get clean up. "Momma, can you please sing to me grandma's lullaby?" she pleated. She even gave me the puppy dog eyes. How can I say no to those. Curse her eyes. "sigh, yes baby I will"
I took a deep breath and started.
"The rocking horse came
From an old oak tree
Just missed the house
When it was hit by lightning
My daddy painted that horse
A midnight blue
Shooting stars and silver horseshoes
And it was something magic out of something frightening
That's how I live my life
I take it as it comes
And I find the hidden love
When it's pouring down on me
In my mind I see
The rocking horse inside the tree
A broken heart
Means deeper feelings
A thorn in the flesh
Means room for healing
Oh salt in your tears
Can open your eyes
Wounded years
Make you realize
It's just something magic out of something frightening
That's how I live my life
I take it as it comes
And I find the hidden love
When it's pouring down on me
In my mind I see
The rocking horse inside the tree
Things aren't always as they seem
Take the nightmare from my dreams
That's how I live my life
I take it as it comes
And I find the hidden love
When it's pouring down on me
In my mind I see
The rocking horse inside the tree"
"Momma why do you always cry when you sing this song?" I didn't even realize that I was crying. "Sorry baby, its just…this was mine and your uncles lullaby that your grandmother used to sing to us when we had a hard time sleeping." I whispered. She looked down. "But baby, did you know that that's the same lullaby that her mother used to sing to her, and then her mother and her mother after that? It's kinda like a family tradition if you know what I mean?" I love it when she smiles.
After our shower she and I got dress. I had picked out her outfit as well as mine. She first has on black leggings with an IZ Byer California Plaid Scooter skirt, the shirt was a Knitworks Peace Sign Mock-Layer Tee with scarf. My baby girl always have to look her best, even when I look like shit.
I my self-have on a Purple Lace Skull V-neck Top, a Public Enemy Gold Foil Target Zip-up Hoodie, and White Distressed Skinny Denim Pants and over that a Tripp Star Fishnet Print Skirt, with a pair of black convers. I must say with the very few spoken words to miss Alice Brandon, I really do look hot!
When I came down stairs, I saw my passed-out father on the sofa, with bottles everywhere. God I hate him and this forsaken town. I hurried up with making breakfast because I know once this smell hits Charlie's nose, he'll be up with a hangover and his "I'm so sorry Bells and Abs. I will try not to drink so much next time" it gets annoying once and a while.
"Momma what time does school start?" she asked innocently. "Well sweetie, yours starts around 8am and mine starts at 8:30am. And right now its, only 10 after 7. So we got plenty of time." I said as I place her plate in front of her. "Yummy Momma, eggs and toast. My favorite!" she piped. I just had to laugh, everything is her favorite now a days.
As I place Charlie's plate on the table, I look over and see him coming threw the door. "Morning Bells, morning Abs." He grumbles. If you just look in his eyes, it's the look of pity. "Hay Bells, thank you for this breakfast and for everything that I had to put you threw, as you said before, I wish I didn't make you do those things, but we actually needed the money, especially since there hasn't been any crimes lately. So again I'm truly am sorry for what I did. But I promise that I will make it up to you. And also, Happy Birthday Bella. And Happy Birthday too Abie" he crooked. He had tearstains running down his cheeks. "Thanks…dad!" I said. He just looked at me and then he roughly pulled both Abie and me into a hug.
"Thank you papa!" Abie cried. That's when I notice that he had two envelopes and one box. "Had dad, who's the box for?" I asked. He just did a dry laugh, "Well my good daughter this good old box is for my sweet little Abs plus a card, and for you my dear, a card as well as your other present.
Abie quickly grabbed her box and was ripping threw it as like her life depended on it, and as I just sat down staring at my card.
Dear Bella,
If you're reading this on your 17th birthday, well good for you. I know that this is hard for you to under stand, but I'm so sorry for passing away like this. I'm sorry that I left you, your father, and your brother, but it was my time to go. I just really want to be there when you graduate and everything, so see my first grandchild. I remember you saying that you wish it was a girl, you would name her Ali-Rosa Amber Paris Swan or Annabella Ilyssa Swan, and if it were a boy well his name would have been Jedmette James Alexander Swan. I just loved those names. Even at 5 years old you had your life planed out. I guess my time is almost up, please tell your brother that I love him and I miss him terribly, the same with your father… I guess.
With love your mother,
Renée Swan
"Hay Bells, go and check out what I got you in the garage." I just simply nodded. I felt the warm tears running down my face. "God, why do you have to hate me? Why? Cause of Abie? Cause of me being such a bad child growing up? Why do you got to hate me so?" I cried. There in the garage were two things, 1. A brand new car, and 2. A sleek new bike.
Just as I was about to get in the new car, I hared a load crash. "MOMMA HELP ME PLEASE?" my baby screamed. "Oh no, Abie?" I screeched.
I races inside to find my father over my daughter with her skirt way high up and her pants and underwear all the way to her ankles. " You fucking JACKASS! YOU MADE ME GO IN THERE SO YOU COULD RAPE YOUR OWN GRANDDAUGHTER? YOU SICK, VILE, DISCUSTION MAN. I HATE YOU!" I yelled on the top of my lungs. Thank havens we live off on a dirt road so nobody can here our pleas for help. I lunge out towards my father. "Abie please go and get in the car. Take momma's keys and lock all the doors." I whispered towards her.
I just grabbed Charlie by the hear and hit it on the corner of the table. He should stay still long enough so I can crab most of our belongings. I marched up and into our room and grabbed a few pairs of clothing for both Abie and me. A few of her favorite toys, her baby blanket, the twins stuff, my laptop, charger, a few of my favorite cd's I know that I cannot live with out, Some books, Abie, the twin's baby books, and a couple albums. Then I raced over to my bed and open a loose floor board. There in side had all of my most important items, like passports, birth certificates crap like that. I threw those into my knapsack. Then I pulled out all of the money that I stole from Charlie when he was passed-out, and from my saving, and inherence that I got from my mums death. Which Charlie never new about.
As I ran passed Charlie still laying on the floor, I had an erge just to kick him, but I did not, cause I think that would wake him up. I flew open the door to the garage, I was my baby all ready in her booster seat looking as if nothing had ever happen. But I knew better than that. She may have her fathers damn good looks but she still has my brain, my emotion and the same will power to hold them in when it's a tight situation. "Hay sweetie, its momma, please open the door?" I asked in my calm voice.
As she turned my way, I saw her eyes gloss up. Those same eyes, that will haunt me the rest of my life. She unlocked the door and I climbed in. "Momma where are we gunna live?" she asked me. "All I know sweetie is that I'm gunna get you out of here and into a safe environment. Ok sweetie?" she just nodded. I pulled out of the garage, gave this home one last glance and were are out of here.
I pulled into her school's parking lot just in time for it to start raining. "Hat sweetie, sip up your jacket ok? " I looked at her threw the rear view mirror I saw her eyes sparkle.
As soon as I grabbed her from her seat, we made a mad dash, to the front door steps. My eyes first saw the window and I tapped the glass slightly. "Um, excuse me, but where can I please register my daughter?" I politely asked the lady in front of me. "Name please?" she asked. "Annabella Swan" I stated. The lady in front of me stared spastically at me. "Her class is in room 20A in the kindergarten wing. Aren't you a bit young to be having kids?" she questioned like it was a simple conversation at lunch. "Well yes I am, but that never seem to have crossed my mind. And please if you have any question or if she need me to come and pick her up, please let her call me on her cell. But its only for emergences ok?" I spoke to her as she did me.
"Please let me phone for a guide, just one moment." She whispered. She closed the screen so I could not here her conversation. "Now Abs, this whole cell phone ordeal is strictly for emergences. But you can always text me when you want to talk to me? Gotcha?" she just nodded. I turned my attention from her and back onto the lady. "Ok miss Swan, Mr. Harris, will be with us shortly. If you would be so kind to please take a seat over there he should be here any minute." I just simply nodded and took a seat, with Abie on my lap. I took a small glance at my watch, 7:59am. Good, I still can make it to school on time.
"Excuse me are you Miss Swan?" a tall dark and handsome guy asked. "Yes" I squeaked. "Ok Miss Swan, please fallow me." He said. While we were walking, he started talking. "So Miss Swan, how do you like forks?" I turned and gave him a 'are you kidding look'. "What gives you the idea that we just moved here?" now he just gave me the same look back. "Momma and I were both born here in forks." Abie answered for me. She skipped a head of me a few ways, but I still could see her. "I am so sorry ma'am. I did not realize that, it just that I have not seen you around town and you do know that forks is such a small plac…" I putted up my hand and smiled, "Its ok. The reason that you don't see me is cause I'm either at school or at home taking care of Abie." I restituted him. "Oh, I did not realize that you were still in colla… High school sir" I butted in.
"Excuse me?" he started. "Mr. Harris was it?" he simply nodded, "Look sir I may not look like it, but I'm 17 years old high school student taking care of my five year old daughter with no father. Please sir will you just show us the way to her classroom so I can make it to mine?" I just gave him my mom glade. His face had gone pale, "Right this way ma'am." Hw whimpered.
We made it to her classroom. I turned and knelt down to make eye level. "Now sweetie please don't cause any harm to any of those boys in there got it?" I mumbled. She nodded her little head really fast. And I turned towards Mr. Harris. "And you sir, please give this to the teacher, it explains everything. She has my number so if anything goes wrong please call me?" I said in a rush. "By sweetie mommy loves you and have a good day." I yelled as I ran down the hallway. Damn it 15 minutes till class starts.
I races out of her school, hopped into my car and pray to god that there is a spot in the school parking lot.
please people tell me what you think about it. please review. if i can atleast get two reviews i would be oh so happy. so please review:)
