I don't own the Ghost and the Goth. This will be a bunch of random oneshots as I start to get the hang of these characters. They're complex people. Really complex.
Anniversary
No one mentioned my death.
Not that they had in a while; even the people who sat on my bench on a regular basis (it was now populated by, of all people, the band geeks) didn't mention me. I would have thought that the date, the same as today's, would have promoted some discussion – even a small passing comment – but nothing. It was probably a bit stupid of me to care that much. Still I stayed nearby, pretending to read some random book I'd taken from Will's room, whilst actually listening.
Yeah. Nothing whatsoever. I still hadn't fully mastered the control of my tear ducts, and I could feel my eyes stinging. A part of me, I supposed, still wasn't completely used to the fact that people hadn't liked me much.
I sighed and brought up my knees, leaning my chin on them. I just couldn't wait for this day to be over.
Of course, thinking that, the rest of the day dragged on like... well, a bad lesson, ironically enough. I think Will texted me a couple of times, but the new teacher that came at the beginning of this year has eyes like a hawk (and is awful at makeup, might I just add), and I didn't think I could deal with a detention tonight as well as everything else. Even though talking to Will could really help.
I checked my phone as soon as I got out and then stared at it for a few moments in disbelief. That idiot. He knew what today was, and instead of actually helping me he just sent me a text saying that he couldn't give me a lift home.
"Whatever," I muttered to myself. And then I jumped as Tyler ran up to me and launched himself into my side. I couldn't help laughing and putting my arm around his shoulders. He'd finally completely accepted me, whether he really saw me as Lily or not.
No matter, really. It wasn't as if I needed him. If Will didn't want to give me a lift that was fine.
"Is Will giving you a lift?"
I flinched and shot a guilty look towards Tyler. "No, he isn't."
"So you'll have to walk alone. I was going to go round a friend's."
"Does mum know?" The question was automatic and as always, my actual, genuine concern surprised me.
"Yep," he chirped, before turning away and running back towards a group of his friends.
I took my phone back out and looked at the text message from Will again, then jumped when the phone started buzzing and his picture came up. He was trying to call me. My lips pressed together and I hit the 'ignore' button before stubbornly stuffing it back in my pocket.
I didn't even realise where I'd been walking until I looked up and saw the rows of headstones. I could see my headstone maybe fifty metres in front of me and slid to a stop.
Okay, of all places I hadn't wanted to come here. My life was better now, obviously, but sometimes when I first woke up I still felt like Alona and expected to be on the first tier (the most I could get was third tier after everything with Erin and the fact that I was dating such a social outcast that Will still was – whether he'd graduated or not).
I bit my lip and crossed my arms over my chest, walking closer to the headstone, sitting down next to the plot, my arms wrapped tightly around my legs. It shouldn't have bothered me, I knew it, but... still. No flowers. I would have thought that today of all days...
I forced the thought to trail off and leant my forehead onto my knees. Better that no one see me when I was crying because I still had no control over my tear ducts.
"You're being ridiculous," I muttered to myself.
A step on the gravel behind me made me jump and turn swiftly. Was it dad, actually coming to put some flowers on my grave? But I sighed when I saw Will, a slightly disconcerted look on his face. "What?" I said, stretching my legs out in front of me and keeping my expression impassive.
He gave a small smile and held up a hand, which I just realised had a bouquet of wild flowers. "I checked the bench but you weren't there."
I shrugged as he came to sit next to me. "The band geeks use it. Apparently it wasn't enough to be in the bus that killed me." He handed me the flowers and I took them uncertainly. This felt weird. I was laying flowers on my own grave. "How did you know?" I asked, busying myself with taking out the dead leaves from the small vase and putting in the flowers.
"I've pretty much got you sussed now." He brushed my hair back and pulled me closer. "Are you okay?"
His warmth and the gentleness of his voice was achingly familiar, causing my eyes to start prickling again. "I'm fine," I said automatically. No matter that my own parents hadn't shown up on the anniversary of my death to put flowers on their dead daughter's grave. I could forgive Misty for not coming; she would still be at college, but what excuse did my parents have?
Will didn't say anything else but kept his arms tight around me, as if I would just slip away. And right now, I felt like he was holding me together.
He really did have me sussed, and that didn't scare me nearly as much as I thought it would. Right now, he was treating me exactly as he should, holding me and waiting for me to work through it myself. Any words would have felt like too much.
And yet he could break me with a single word too. But he wouldn't. He loved me.
I gave a small smile and shook my head before shifting even closer to him. "I love you," I said quietly, kissing his neck quickly.
He jumped and pulled back slightly to look at me. "That's the first time you've said that."
I smiled slightly. "You already knew that I did."
He grinned back before pulling me back into his arms. "It's nice to hear regardless. I love you too, Alona."
