I made Vincent Italian, even though I pretty sure he's not, he looks Italian though...kinda.
Okay, I need your help, which title sounds better: Aces of Food or Diners, Drive-Ins, and Bars I can't decide :/
There was no way a mere mortal could teach her to cook. Cloud thought to himself as he looked at a lump of brown mush Tifa called beef stew. Just because she worked at a bar, didn't mean she could cook. Marlene and Denzel made a face as they poked at their dinner. Right then Cloud decided enough was enough; he was going to have to find someone to help her cook better. But who did he know that could cook? He thought for a moment before it hit him. Of course! Vincent isn't mortal and he's Italian so he must know how! Cloud picked up a spoonful of the jiggly mess. He's going to need backup.
...
"Hey Vincent!" Cloud shouted at him. Vincent was sitting on an edge of a cliff watching the sun go down. "Can ask for your help?"
"No."
"But it's important," Cloud pleaded. Vincent looked up at him with cold annoyed eyes. The poor man could never be left alone for more than three minutes without someone bothering him. Most of the time it was Yuffie or crazed fan girls that chased him around.
"I need you to teach Tifa how to cook."
Something changed in Vincent's eyes, Cloud thought it was almost like a burning passion.
"You want me to...cook?"
"Please," Cloud begged.
"I haven't cooked in awhile...since I closed myself up in my coffin." Vincent looked out into the distance to put emphasis on his words. "I used to love cooking..." He trailed off remembering the good old times. Cloud couldn't see his mouth, but he knew a smile was spreading.
"So you'll help me then?"
"Yes," Vincent stood up and walked back to the bar with Cloud.
...
"What is he doing here?" Vincent said in disgust as he looked at Reno.
"Same reason you're here, he's going to help Tifa cook." Cloud walked upstairs to get her. "I'll be right back, please try not to kill each other okay?"
Vincent glared at Reno, "I'm in charge."
"Sure, when pigs fly, yo." Reno retorted.
"If I threw one, it would fly towards your face. I bet you can't even cook."
"I've won five cooking contest this year!" Reno screamed as he pointed at Vincent. "How many have you won?"
"I can't enter them, my dishes are too good and I would automatically win. It wouldn't be fair to the other contestants." Vincent kept his serious look on his face. Reno grabbed a frying pan and almost threw it at him.
"What's going on?" Tifa demanded as Cloud led her down the stairs blindfolded. "Was that Vincent's voice I heard?"
"I got a surprise for you honey." Cloud said getting nervous. Tifa didn't take criticism well, even if it was constructive. He placed her in front of the two men and the bar which had a pile of cooking utensils. He took off her blindfold. She looked at the scene before her and blinked. When she turned around to ask Cloud what the meaning of this was, he was already out the door and driving off far far away.
"Cloud said your cooking sucked." Reno stated. Vincent sighed at his new coworkers bluntness.
"And you're going to help me?" Tifa scoffed at them.
"Yup," Reno grabbed Tifa's hand and drug her over to the bar.
"I guess we better get started," Vincent took off is cape and draped it over a chair. The two stared at him.
"What?"
"It's...it's just that I've never seen you without your cape. It's quite shocking." Tifa said. She could now understand why all the fan girls were after him so much.
"Yes, quite shocking how ugly you are." Reno said it like he just ate something nasty. He looked at Tifa and saw her almost drooling over him. "Must you take the stupid thing off? Your blinding me by your girly face!" Reno dramatically put his arms over his eyes to block him out.
"I don't want it to catch on fire again." Vincent looked at him with completely serious eyes.
Reno snorted, "You actually caught yourself on fire? Oh how I would've liked to have seen that! You must suck at cooking more than Tifa!" He began laughing.
"I was making Saganaki," he looked towards Tifa. She had a lost look in her eyes. "Flaming cheese..."
"Oh! I know what that is!" She beamed proudly.
"Ha! I've made that before." Reno boasted.
"I remember that! You made it at the bar. But, didn't you catch your hair on fire?" Tifa questioned.
"First, we're going to start off with grilled cheese!" Reno quickly changed the subject.
"That's too easy," Vincent argued.
"Cloud said when he asked her for one, he ended up with a black brick. And we all know Cloud isn't sarcastic." Reno replied.
"I'll get the cheese," Vincent hurried to the back room.
A few minutes later Tifa had bread, butter, and cheese in front of her. "So I butter the side of the bread that will be facing the pan."
"Yes," they both answered her. They kept a careful eye on her as she picked up the butter knife.
"Guys, you're making me nervous."
"What else are we supposed to look at yo?"
"I don't know, make one yourself." They both grunted, picked up their bread, and looked at each other.
"I'll finish first," Reno stated. Vincent just squinted his eyes at him and said, "You're on." Tifa got pushed out of the way as they quickly and sloppily buttered the bread. They reached for a pan and ran over to the stove. As Reno was putting his on, Vincent kicked his legs out from under him which caused his frying pan to fly up in the air and almost hit Tifa.
"Hey that's cheating!" Reno yelled as he threw Vincent's pan at the wall. They each began quickly picking up their scattered sandwich parts.
"Hey guys, I thought you were supposed to be teaching me...nevermind." Tifa realized it was useless to try to distract them from their race. She grabbed a chair from a nearby table at waited.
R&R please and thanks! Don't know how good I'll be on the updates with this story, so please bear with me!
