Knocking on the guitar strings and making the strings vibrate violently as his calloused fingertips moved and switched between the neck of the guitar. Tadashi let the instrumental of a song he created flow into his ears like wind, hitting the side of his body as he walked to school, blabbering on about volleyball to Tsukishima with excitement and a smile on his face.

"Shut up, Tadashi," Tsukishima said nonchalantly as his expression remained the same.

"Sorry," Tadashi mumbled under his breath, itching the back of his head with embarrassment pouring into his emotions.

They made their way to school with the loud noises of their converse shoes hitting the asphalt of the sidewalk and the multiple tones of voices conversing behind them, cluttering up together as they entered Tadashi's ears.

-

The doodles he drew on the margin of his paper were removed, eraser shavings left on the paper. The monotone voice of the teacher and the squeaking sound of the chalk on the board made him cringe slightly. The words went through his mind, his fingers tapping to a melody in his head mindlessly.

Tadashi looked around the room, looked at the students and out of the window, his mind unable to concentrate on the teacher. The tapping fingers stopped, nails now digging into the hard surface of the desk. Chipping away at the desk, he suppressed the urge to dig them into his arm, to chip away mercilessly at his skin until the wine red blood traveled down the white skin of his until it hit the surface of his desk.

"Stop being so stupid, Tadashi."

"Shut up, Tadashi,"

Teeth nipping at the cherry red lips of his were now ripping open the skin, ripping it until ruby red liquid dripped down the dry skin of his lips.

-

"So fucking fat, god you should've paid attention, Tadashi."

"You feel so heavy in your own body because of all that weight,"

"Such a fat piece of lump, such a fat outcast."

Tears were quickly forming as they were wiped away. Tadashi couldn't cry, he couldn't. He just didn't want to- it felt too tiresome. Why couldn't his thoughts just shut up for once? Why did they have tell him all these things when he was done eating dinner with his family?

Couldn't he just enjoy one special occasion without that voice telling him the truth?

Tadashi turned for the umpteenth time, his eyes unable to rest in the dim room that was bored with black.

-

Fingers ran through the scarred skin, feeling the bumps on the surface of his forearm, finding it satisfying, so satisfying that he might as well just grab the razor that was hidden in between his pants in his dresser.

Tadashi sat up from his bed.