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"Actors do not date stunt girls! Actors do not date stunt girls! Actors do NOT date stunt girls!"
From my current location high up the steep wall of rock I had a good view over the crew assembled fifty meters below in the small clearing. While I awaited the directors shout for "action" my eyes unfailingly found HIM. He was in full costume and engaged in discussion with a script girl, pointing here and there and my heart skipped it's usual beat at the sight of him. His dark hair, dark eyes, and always present smile that seemed to light up every room.
"Actors do not date stunt girls!" did I repeat what had become my mantra over the last few weeks, "And I sure hope they don't date script girls either," I added for good measure while I kept observing the scene below.
We had spoken occasionally, even found ourselves at the same table in a local pub not a week ago and he had flashed me a few of his heartbreaking smiles that set my fantasies in motion and my heart on fire but I had been in this business long enough to know: actors do not date stunt girls.
With a heavy sigh I tried to focus my mind on the task set before me. I would have to come down that high rise wall of rock like an elf; fast, fearless and with obvious ease and grace. Secured by a rope from the top that was not all too difficult but fifty meters were still fifty meters, vertically, and some concentration seemed to be called for.
Now the director was calling for us to get ready. I checked with my four colleagues hanging from ropes in spots not far from me. They all showed their thumbs up. We were good to go.
"Action!" came the command and we started our descend down the rocky surface. All went well and it was actual fun to sprint down the mountain like an olympic champion when maybe 20 meters above ground I suddenly felt no more pull from the rope attached to my belt. The only thing I managed to think was a very profane 'SHIT!' before training set in and I tried to fall in a way that provided greatest possibility of least damage then I crashed onto the safety mat and all went black.
Sunlight stung my eyes even through closed lids when I woke up. After a very short peek I shut them again and wondered. I wondered a lot. Firstly what I was doing lying in a field? What field? How I got there and why I – who was I? At that point a slight panic set in. Clutching at the grass I was lying on I desperately searched my mind for clues. The one sure thing I came up with was that I indeed existed, if only for the pain in my whole body. I testily opened my eyes again and tried to sit up but even lifting my head proved to be too painful and with a groan I sank back into the grass. This was not good. This was SO not good.
Had I had an accident? Had I been attacked? Robbed? Raped?! Frantically my hands searched over my body. I seemed to be fully dressed, thank the lord for small favours. But what had happened?
I wasn't too sure about the state my body was in. Slowly flexing every muscle and feeling my limbs I found some comfort in the fact that I could not detect any broken bones. Again I made an effort to move and after what felt like forever rolled onto my left side and rested my head on my arm. A sob escaped my throat and panic threatened to take over when I heard voices not far away. "Help!" I cried, "I am over here! Help!" Someone was running towards me. Through my tears I could only make out two blurry shapes, heavily clad in all sorts of clothing and burdened with bags and stuff. "Let them be the good guys!" I silently prayed and passed out again.
When I woke the next time it was to the sound of a quiet conversation. Night had fallen over the land and two men were sitting around a fire, one stirring a pot with dubious content, the other rummaging through a bundle of cloth at his feet. I remembered the last time I had come to, the sun in my eyes, the grass underneath, the pain, all else was still blank. At least I was not alone anymore and even though my companions had neglected to get me to a hospital or doctor, they had helped and not harmed me and that would have to do for the time being. For a change, I liked having the small amount of good news.
I made to sit up and regretted it instantly. A terrible pain in my chest advised me to take it very very slowly.
My cry alerted the two figures at the fire. "Lay still!" a sympathetic voice said close to my ear and it's owner gently pushed my shoulders back onto the makeshift bed they had settled me on. With the pain subsiding I opened my eyes and stared into a young face with dark, warm eyes, framed by an unruly mane of black hair. A face that looked oddly familiar, like I'd seen him in a dream. I frowned and turned to the second man who had gotten up and looked down on me. That one was blond and sported even more hair on his head and face with braids and beads worked into it. Again part of me felt like meeting an old acquaintance. My frown deepened as I saw that they did NOT seem to feel the same way, "Do I know you?"
They exchanged a glance and then shrugged. "Do you know me?" I tried again. This time both of them shook their heads in unison. "Damn," I squeezed my eyes shut to fight back the tears of frustration that had started to come. This wasn't going well.
"Can you help me sit up, please?"
"You really should lay still," repeated the dark haired man kneeling next to me, his dark eyes looking over me with some compassion.
"No, please, I need to get up. It's probably just a few broken ribs, not much to do about that." I stretched out my right arm and he took my hand.
"Fili, help me!" he called over his shoulder seeing the pain I was in just by moving my right arm.
"Fili, Fili", I mumbled then stifled a cry when they both pulled me into sitting position. It still hurt but I found it was bearable and I'd had enough of lying around like a log. I also appreciated being closer to the fire because the night was chilly and I only wore some sort of grey jumpsuit with green dots attached to it. I inspected the strange attire with disbelieve and pulled at one of the green dots. It came of with a little "ritch" sound. "Velcro", I said to myself and pondered the fact that I knew what velcro was but not my own name.
My two rescuers had taken up their previous spot around the fire and carried on with their tasks. Their lack of curiosity surprised me. No one asked me anything. Well, fine with me, since I had no answers anyway. All the more time for me to give the two a good look over. Maybe because of the ridiculous amount of clothing they were both wearing and the fact that I had been flat on my back I had not noticed before that both were oddly short. With all the leather and heavy footwear they could have been members of a motorcycle gang or a heavy metal group, well miniature members anyway. Definitely not the sort of camping style folk I was used to. Was I used to camping style folk? I had no idea. Shaking my still woozy head I decided to let it go for the moment.
"Food's done," declared the one named Fili and with a happy grin ladled some broth and bits into a wooden (wooden?!) bowl that he handed to me. "Ladies first!"
I moved to take the bowl but my chest refused to cooperate. Pressing one hand to my left side, I managed to take the bowl with my right and set it in front of me. The bowl was indeed wooden, as was the spoon I was given. And I was obviously the only one around the fire to think that strange.
Unlike the men next to me I had lost the little appetite I had had to begin with. They devoured their share in a hearty manner and only after they had finished noticed that mine still sat there, untouched.
A dark head turned to a blonde in an accusing manner. "I told you not to throw the whiskers in!"
Blonde, Fili, was less than sorry, he simply shrugged and grabbed some more broth. "They do add a lot of flavour but what do you know of cooking, man!"
'Whiskers?' What exactly had they been eating? "I am sorry," I murmured, "I am sure it's very tasty but I can't...I just...I..." I did not know what to say, my tongue was tying itself into one giant knot.
"What is it lass? Want to tell us what happened to you?" Dark hair asked softly.
I stared into his chocolate coloured eyes for a couple of seconds then raised my arms helplessly and let them fall back at my sides, hanging my head. "I haven't got the faintest idea," I admitted and filled them in on what little I knew and all the things I did not know. The second part taking considerably more time to tell. They didn't question anything I said, they simply nodded, taking in the information.
They sat in silence until I finished. "So you don't know who you are, where you are from and why you are wearing nothing but undergarments?" Fili summarized and eyed me a little doubtful.
"Undergarments?" Dark hair came to life as he heard Fili's words, as if he remembered he had to do something rather important, "Oh, here is something for you to wear!" With that he reached into the pile of cloth he had handled before and came up with sort of a tunic. "It's not much but it is almost clean," he piped with an apologetic smile that triggered something in my confused head but did not come to any results. The tunic felt heavy in my hands, solid and warm and I accepted it gratefully. He helped me pulling it over my head and arms and it came down to just above my hips and was a bit short at the wrists but it warmed me instantly. Fili added a sleeveless vest to my new outfit and all of a sudden I seemed to fit in a lot better. My ankle high trainers could not compete with their impressive footwear but an improvement had definitely been made.
"Thank you guys. Thank you so much for your help. If you show me the way to the nearest town in the morning I'll be on my way to find a hospital or doctor who knows a thing or two about amnesia and if you give me your addresses, I will send your things back. Clean and all," I shyly glanced at the man to my right. He did not react to my weak attempt at humour but cocked his head a little and gave me a puzzled look. We just sat there for a moment, staring at each other with eyes eager for something. Mine information. His, well, I actually couldn't tell what he was eager for.
Fili cleared is throat and ended the awkwardness. "I don't know anything about amnesia or a place called hospital but the nearest settlement is where we are headed anyway. We should reach it in a day or two. There we will meet with a great wizard. If anybody is able to help you, it is him. Don't you worry!" It was my turn to look puzzled. 'A wizard? A place called hospital? Could my situation become any weirder?'
"Where are we? Who are you? What do you do? Why do you cook something with whiskers and eat it from wooden bowls with wooden spoons? " Maybe some answers from their side would shed some light on the whole bloody mess.
Dark hair sprang to his feet in one fluid motion. "My apologies, lady, my name is Kili and that oaf over there is my brother Fili. At your service." Both bowed in my direction.
Right, not much help there. Settling himself again next to me, dark haired Kili continued. "We are in a part of Middle-earth called the shire. It is the domain of the hobbits. The halflings or little people, as some call them."
Ok, now we were going somewhere, even if it was places and names I had no recollection of. "So you two are hobbits then! Or halflings, or little people!" I was proud of having finally figured something out.
The looks I received for voicing my conclusion could have turned a less confused person to stone.
"We are no hobbits!" yelled Fili, gravely insulted.
"There is nothing half about me, or little!" cried Kili, deeply wounded. I raised my hands once more, this time in defeat.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry but you said this is the Shire where little people live and seeing that you are not exactly tall..." I drew out the word so they understood my mistake.
"Of course we are not tall," shouted both in a small fit of laughter, "We are dwarfs!"
Two pairs of eyes were expectantly on me, yet I disappointed again. Somehow that piece of news could not shock me anymore. "Sure, dwarfs, of course. Go on, tell me more!" At that prompt I was given what must have been the better part of dwarven history but after the third or fourth clan pedigree I tuned out. "Dwarfs, halflings, wizards and food with whiskers in wooden bowls," I silently pondered.
Maybe it was all perfectly normal and I was the crazy one. How could I be sure with my memory more than slightly impaired. Or perhaps it was all just a very strange dream and I would wake up in the morning with only a faint recollection of it. I felt my eyelids growing heavy and made to lay down. Capable hands came to my aid and to the continued story telling of my new friends I drifted off to sleep, but a part of me wanted to stay awake just to see if something else would come.
The last thing I heard was Kili chiding his brother: "There, you bored her to sleep!"
Shivering from the cool air woke in the dark. The fire had burned down and I could just make out a still body at arms length, under the comfort of a thick woolen coat. Not thinking much but craving some warmth, I inched over, lifted the edge of the cover and crawled in, rejoicing in the heat that radiated from the body behind me. "Short they may be, but hot blooded by all means," I thought falling back to sleep.
Morning came and I woke once more, still under the coat but alone. It's owner was busy packing his things, his brother was nowhere in sight. I stared at the arsenal of weapons in a pile at Kili's feet. 'Right, not a dream then.' Not that I would mind…I spent a few minutes watching him, while checking through my brains for any memory bits that could have appeared over night but drew a complete blank. It was more fun to watch Kili, really, doing and undoing his bundles. Packing obviously was none of his fortes. I laughed quietly to myself, or at least that was the plan but broken ribs don't forgive humour. The pain reminded me that some medical attention was likely to be a good idea and my cry alerted Kili to the fact that the damsel in distress had awoken. He abandoned what he had been doing and was next to in the blink of an eye.
"How are you feeling today?" he asked in a way of greeting, brown eyes scanning my face in an inquiring manner, I swear I caught a glimpse of worry in his eyes.
"Much the same as yesterday, thank you," a dry but honest reply. Pulling a face I reached for him, he looked at me with concern still, like he didn't want me to get up or something, "Help me up, please!' He carefully pulled me up. Folding my legs under me I shook of the vest. "Do you have anything to bind my ribs with?" I could practically see the question marks dance across his forehead. "A bandage, any length of cloth that I use to support the ribs." He sat back on his hunches and hummed to himself, mentally going through his possessions I assumed, then got up and dug around in his brothers large satchel. With a grin he came back and showed me something that resembled brown tights. Fili's underwear? Or did he hide a kinky streak? I did not dare ask, fearful that Fili would be in earshot.
"I guess it will have to do," with that I lifted the tunic and my own top with the green dots (in all honesty I really wasn't the right one to judge other people's style of dressing) and exposed a good portion of skin to the the fresh morning air and Kili's perplexed stare. His eyes grew big and he simply sat there enjoying the view, or so I thought. Then he let out a small whistle.
"Oh, come on," I growled, "You must have seen that sort of thing before!" He grinned and came closer.
"I have indeed. But never in such a brightly coloured fashion!" Bending towards me, he touched his fingers ever so lightly to the skin under my left breast, making me go slightly stiff at the tiny bit of pleasure, "You must have been hit real hard or you fell badly." I tried to glimpse at the described artwork but could not bend in that way and gave up. "Guess I have to trust you on this. If there are no bones peeking through just bind it!"
He tried to be gentle, I have to give him that. When he put his arms around me to get the makeshift bandage behind my back, I got a nose full of the scent I remembered from last night, when I had snuggled up to him. A strong, wild but far from unpleasant mixture of sweat, smoke, musk, moss and forest and it did nothing to calm me down but it distracted me momentarily from the inevitable pain that I was about to experience when he'd pull the bandage tight. "Exhale!" he ordered and I did, bracing myself but I could not hold back a scream when he pulled and quickly knotted the ends of whatever it was together. His face was only a hair's breadth from mine and I could not help thinking that it would be the easiest thing to loose myself in those brown eyes. "There," he said and lowered my hands which still clutched at my clothes in an iron grip. He uncurled my fingers and folded them in my lap. "And it's almost clean, too," he added with a wink. Still not breaking eye contact he sat back again. "You are a very brave lady." I struggled to come up with a not too witless reply but was saved by Fili, who choose this very moment to enter the scene, holding a large cup filled to the brim with berries and nuts.
"Breakfast anyone?" He boomed and broke the spell.
My stomach answered Fili's rhetorical question with a growl loud enough to scare away every small animal in the nearby bushes and trees and reminded me vehemently of the fact that I had skipped last night's whiskery dinner. Both men found my involuntary admission of being hungry immensely amusing.
Conversation was light during breakfast. Afterwards the brothers collected their things, bundles, bags and weapons arsenal and we started our day's march towards the "nearest settlement", a place called Hobbiton, and our meeting with the "great wizard" who was supposed to help me find my memories.
If I still harboured second thoughts on that prospect they were quickly quenched by the alternative: staggering through those lands on my own.
When I stood fully upright the first time since they had found me, the difference in height between the brothers and me became all too evident. I was at least a head taller than both but they did not seem to think any of it so I bit back a comment and started after them.
It quickly became clear that I would slow them down. I tried best as I could to keep up and live up to Kili's earlier impression of me being brave but every step sent a flash of pain through my body and by midday I stumbled along more than I walked, I looked like a drunk after new years, lord help me.
They did not say it but I knew they only stopped to let me rest. Both men looked as if they could have gone on until nightfall and at a much faster pace but politely pretended to need a break as badly as my teeth needed brushing. Whatever, I was more than happy to sit down with my back against a rock and closed my eyes. I dozed but did not sleep so I overheard parts of their hushed discussion. "She cannot keep up, it's too far."
"We have to be there the day after tomorrow, the latest!" "Uncle will not be pleased."
"You go ahead and come back with help!"
At that I had to intervene. "No!" They looked like little boys who got caught with their father's Playboy collection. "You two go on!" I urged them. "Just leave me here. Go and send me an ambulance. Or even a helicopter! I will be fine here!" I said with as much confidence as I could muster only to be utterly ignored. Fili already had his bags up, smiled warmly at me and clapped his brother on the shoulder before he turned and was gone down the trail.
Kili watched him go then came to sit next to me. "Don't confuse bravery with stupidity, lady" he said only half jokingly.
I let my head sink back to rest on the rock behind me. "You have to stop calling me Lady," I told him, "or brave."
"Then what should I call you? Stupid?" he asked innocently. At which I laughed, then cried out in pain, then cursed him and all that was funny. "Forgive me," he sounded truly sorry. "Sometimes I am thoughtless. Here!" He handed me a baggy container made from leather that held water. I had already learned that dwarfish travel gear does not include cups and took the floppy thing. The water tasted cold and revived me some. I really liked sitting next to him, I did not feel so terribly big then.
"Say," I began, albeit with little hope, "do you know what electricity is? That thing that produces heat and light without fire?" Raised eyebrows were what I got as an answer. "Cars? Like carriages without horses to pull them?" Lips pressed together, he shook his head and sent his black mane flying.
"I don't know where you are coming from but it must be a strange and wonder-some world indeed," he said thoughtfully, "maybe I will see it one day."
"Maybe," I echoed and wondered if I ever would.
"Are you well enough to move on?" I could see that he was anxious get going so I nodded and with his help scrambled to my feet. He grabbed his bags and pouches again. I was still amazed at the amount of stuff he was carrying with him. "Why do you have so many weapons? " He snorted.
"This is but half of what Fili is armed with, he has enough knives on him to outfit a small town. Me, I prefer my bow."
"But what for? What are you afraid of?" I received one of those funny looks. "Afraid? I am not afraid of anything. But one simply does not walk around middle earth without weapons. These are dark times. You can't fight orcs with bare hands. At least not longer than it takes to say "orc". "
Orcs. "What are orcs?" He suddenly became very serious.
"Let's hope you never find out," he stated grimly and led the way towards the rounded hills we could see in the distance.
We kept marching slowly but steadily until the sun began to set behind us. Talk we did not and I was totally ok with that. I had enough to think about and take care not to stumble over roots and rocks.
On the edge of a young forest we made camp. Kili gathered some wood and started a fire. "I have to hunt," he almost looked pained to say the words as he looked at me with worry. "Will you be alright?" Supporting my back against a tree I slid down and sat next to the fire.
"Why wouldn't I be?" I answered lightly and shooed him away. "Only one thing: if you could find something that does not have whiskers?"
"As my lady commands!" he left with a smile but came back not a minute later to crouch down in front of me, holding a knife. "Here, take this." When I hesitated he insisted, "I will feel all the better if I knew you have it." Reluctantly I took the knife from him. He sprang up and vanished between the trees. I weighed the knife in my hand. It did not look as out of place there as I had thought it would. Holding it with more strength I turned my wrist from one side to the other and it felt almost natural to point it at something. Before I even knew what I was about to do, I had aimed at a tree and thrown the knife at it. With a satisfying "tock" it struck home and stuck in the wood.
"Wow," I breathed and was rather impressed with myself. Until I realized that I had to get it back before Kili's return. I was quite sure that he would not appreciate the fact that I had simply thrown my only means of defense away. Cussing and cursing I managed to get up and retrieve the small but nicely crafted dagger. It had all sorts of signs engraved at the hilt and the blade was shiny and sharp. I let my finger run over it and even without applying any pressure drew blood. Sucking at my thumb I returned to my original spot. Still eying my earlier target I wondered if it was just beginners luck that had made me hit it. I aimed again and threw. Sure as day light the morning I hit the mark. After the fifth time I could not deny it anymore. I was quite skilled with a knife. Now that was somewhat unexpected. How on earth had I acquired such a talent? And what for?
Just then I heard a noise coming from the trees. Kili broke through the low branches with a proud grin on his face and a large bird in his outstretched hand. "No whiskers, as ordered!"
"That's great," I told him absentmindedly, still thinking about my resent discovery. He lost the smile when he realized I was standing there with the knife in my hand.
"What is it? What's wrong?" He scanned the area and reached for his sword. I waved him off letting him let go of his swords hilt and look at me with some confusion.
"Nothing's wrong there but look!" I threw the knife once more and caused the innocent tree another cut. Kili almost dropped the bird in shock. Then went to get his knife, threw it in the air and caught it again.
He handed me the bird, untied a small leather sheath from his left wrist, slid the knife in and gave it to me in exchange for his prey. "Looks like you can be trusted with this." For some reason it made me very proud to hear him say that. I tied the sheath to my own hand, where it flopped around uncontrollably. I showed him. He shrugged, already busy plucking the bird and littering our campsite with feathers, some of which settled in his hair. "I'll fix it for you while this is roasting." But by the time he was done and pieces of fowl had been pierced on sticks to be placed over the fire I had found another solution for my blade's sheath. The leather strap had just been long enough to tie it around my thigh. Now the blade rested against my leg and it felt good there.
After a surprisingly tasty dinner of roast and water night was upon us. The only light came from the small fire. "We should get to sleep now. There is another day's march ahead of us tomorrow. With a little luck Fili will be meeting us in the evening." I nodded, wondering who he would bring with him. "Do you want me to redo your bandage?" I had been pulling and towing at it unconsciously for a while.
"Yes, it's too loose now," I sighed, not being keen on the torturous pain but sensibly accepting it though. I lifted my clothes and he kneeled next to me. Carefully undoing the knots and allowing me a few moments to breath freely. "How's it look now?" I could tell from his frown that it wasn't all too pretty.
"Hmm, you won't stop before you have completed a whole rainbow, me thinks." He leaned in and placed the bandage over my ribcage again. "Ready?" His eyes where dark with sympathy and I swallowed heavily.
"Ready," I whispered and he pulled. I managed to stifle a scream and moaned through my teeth. He tied me up and smiled encouragingly.
"See, that wasn't so bad." I straightened my clothes, him still being right in front of me.
"No, that wasn't so bad," I agreed and held him back when he made to stand up. He looked at me questioningly. "Wait a second," I murmured and plucked a few downy feathers from his head. The last one wasn't even there, I just wanted to touch him once more before I let him go. He had his back to the fire and the shock of black hair cast even more shadows over his face. It was impossible to read his expression but his dark eyes seemed to sparkle like the stars. Or maybe it was just exhaustion that played tricks on my senses.
"Let's go to sleep," I said dreamily and he drew back. Using bags as pillows we settled down. I could only lie on my right side. He stretched out behind me and threw his coat over both of us.
"I seem to recall you preferred that last night," he almost whispered, his hot sweet breath trailing down my neck in a tingly sensation.
"Yes, I do prefer that indeed," I whispered back and drifted off into a comforting dream. When I stirred later that night and rolled onto my back to be more comfortable, I found myself nose to nose with a sleeping dwarf, he looked so calm and gentle making my heart skip a beat before sleep claimed me again.
