아이 - Little One

By: Bittersweet Laughters

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN EXO, EXO BELONGS TO THE WHOLE EXOSTAN WHEREVER THEY ARE IN THIS WORLD

A/N: HELLO PEOPLE, do you know that Ffn shut down for a few weeks in Indonesia? Asdfghjkl By the way this fic is inspired by the song "Rockbell" composed by HoneyWorks ft. IA. Go and check out the song! It's super cute and cuddly, tough the ending is quiet yeah... Originally posted in asianfanfics, please also go and check my account there, Aoppe20 *does shameless promotion*

Today as always, the sun rises from the east, with its warm rays softly kissing my face, letting me to slide a groan before waking up.

Another day.

I love my life. Well as you can see, not all people in this world enjoys life, like how my neighbor keeps on complaining about his tanned skin, and how the big brother from the opposite street keeps on venting his anger to anyone he meets, by practically boring holes at their foreheads with his death glare. Perhaps he didn't meant to scare them, but he scared them anyway, so it seems because he has so much problems, he glares at people. Compared to them, I'm much more satisfied with my life, because I do not complain, and I do not pick fights with people. Well, yeah of course. I spend my days lazing off, watching the hours tick by inside this small, but warm apartment.

I grew up in this cozy apartment that I call home, from when I was a baby until now. Even tough I do not have any mother, I'm happy, not like some sappy soap operas from TV, which the daughters grief like crazy just because they don't have mothers. Maybe I cannot compare myself with them, because at least I've got someone worthy enough for me to call mother, even when he is not even a female. He took care of me, and gives me milk everyday (even tough I prefer milk tea, because one of my friends had me tried that and I fell in love with on the first taste). He also plays with me everyday, no matter how tired he is after he got home, he will pat my head and says in a comforting tone, while smiling: "You've been a good boy today, Sehunnie" How I love it when he does that to me. I love his smiling face the best, not only because he looks good while doing it, but because when he doesn't it means that something must be wrong, and I don't like him being sad, it makes my heart breaks.

He loves me well, and I will always love him back. I'd greet him and hug him each time e gets home, and I'd always sleep by his side and wakes up beside him (well, the chance of me waking up next to him is really slim, because he is a gastrophobic, no matter how hard he tried to keep me on his bed, his instincts will kick right away the moment he falls asleep). And today, is an indifferent day, I wake up on the floor, but next to me will be him on his bed.

His name is Luhan, or so how people call him. He claims himself to be the manliest among his friends, based on his daily storytelling session with me. To be honest, I do not think that he is manly, not only he has the looks of a full-fledge girl that confuses lots of people. Not once he managed to get a ladies-only parking spotor a ladies-only ice cream discount during mother's day. Like how his friends told him, he is a chick with a dick, tough I don't fully grasp what he meant, I think it sounds cool

I think he really is rather feminine inside. He tends to take care of people, just like mothers do. He thinks and worries a lot for people that's irreverent to him, just like aunties care for lots and lots of business. He cries easily, fears ghosts, and dislikes heights. Even I, can be manlier than him.

I don't say these things to insult him, bit because it is the truth. He is unmanly, especially when he gets home from a place called hospital. He always has this slumped look, and then he'll whine like a little girl before falling to his knees, letting his body drops to the floor, occupying almost all the space in our little living room. Usually, I will come over to hug him and cuddle him to cheer him up, then he'd smile, but forcing one. I know it no matter how hard he tried to conceal his sadness. Then he'd leave me alone for a while as I hear sounds from his room, a few presses on the phone, lots of pleading, and then the sound of a bottle shaking. The last sound is a daily routine tough, he consumes pills to keep him alive.

I don't like it when he comes back from the hospital, he will always look sad. I wish he will never get back to that place. Today, he will visit that place again, and I will try my best to stop him from going.

But before I'm able to do that, I need to wake Luhan up first and let him to do his daily routine. I climb up his bed and then snuggles to his neck, sending him lots of tickles as I lightly say: " Wake up!" To him.

Ticklish, he opens his eyes and sits up and then takes me in his arms, holding me tight and tickles my neck in revenge , "Alright, I'm up, you don't need to rush, my class starts quiet late"

He jumps out of his bed and then proceeds to the bathroom, which is just a few steps from his bedroom, as I trot happily behind him, trailing him like his shadow.

"Sehunnie you can't come in..." Luhan gets inside the bathroom and then slides the door carefully, not letting me in.

I don't like it when Luhan leaves me, even for a bit, but I stand there in front of the door patiently, waiting for him to come back from his morning bathe.

After a while, he walks out, topless with a thin towel wrapped on his tiny waist looking refreshed. Tough he is refreshed, bathe cannot change the fact that he is getting thinner and thinner each passing day. His face is already small from the start, so you cannot feel the change, but when his body is bare like this, you can see the lines of his ribcage surfacing, indicating his thinness. Not to mention his waist that is way too small for a grown man like him. He can even wear woman's jeans I swear.

He walks out his room several minutes later, dressed in his usual sweater and a pair of jeans. He also has combed his golden (dyed) hair neatly. Then he takes out my daily dose of food and places it in front of me. "here..." He chimes as he takes food for himself and gulps it down fast. He has finished his meal even when I which started first haven't finished.

"You know what Sehunnie, I think I'll come back later than you'd expect." Luhan says as he fakes a smile before drinking some pills he's had in his hands. He actually don't need to tell me that each time he goes out. Usually Luhan will come home a few hours after lunch time, around 2 pm or 3 pm, and then if he has check-ups he will go to the hospital after dinner. But it has been a long long time since he last had a check up. I hope he'd cancel this one too.

"Maybe I won't come back for the day..." Luhan pats my head, and exits the house quietly. After he's gone, I realized he will immediately visit the hospital after he gets out from his class, which means I cannot stop him from going. This sucks, big time.

Time passed, slowly, as I wait for Luhan, knowing he won't be here until the sun rises again next morning. I lie flat down on my belly, hoping that Luhan will come earlier. I hate times like this, when I've got nothing to do. I cannot go to school, nor I can play games on Luhan's laptop. I crawl up to look out the window, just to meet the sight of schoolkids lining up to reach the school. How nice, I thought as I watch them silently, keeping the hope of Luhan to come back earlier in my mind.

Suddenly, my prayer gets granted by God, as I hear the sound of keys in front of the door. That must be Luhan! I rush to the door, waiting steadily for Luhan to greet me, pat my head and hugs me tight, just how he does each time he gets back. I wait patiently, and it is true that Luhan comes in, but he looks really pale. I stare at his eyes, as if asking him what's wrong? With no sound. Waiting for him to answer me with an energetic smile, I receive a grim answer.

A loud thud echoes throughout the small apartment as Luhan drops flat to the floor, holding his aching heart.

At the very moment, I cannot do anything but to freeze on the spot, looking at the limp figure in front of me, sweating from head to toe, trying to bear the pain from his heart. I yell, and I scream for his name, shaking his body, snuggling to his neck again, hoping for him to wake up, and say, "Are you surprised? Isn't my acting good?" Hoping this all is just a lame joke from him. Can he hear me? Oh how I hope he does, but he only answers me with silence.

I look around, finding nothing but the door that is still left open. I run outside, and yell loudly, hoping someone to hear me out, hoping someone will save my Luhan.

I meet the neighboring lady, which has wide eyes with lots of whites and sometimes a very scary grin that keeps me out from stealing from her kitchen. I try to get her attention as I come closer, pulling her clothes and tries to tell that her Luhan is in danger. Before I'm even able to drag her, she shoos me and mocks me, not getting what I'm talking about.

This happens about twice more, just with two more different people. Why no one wants to hear me? Why can't my voice reach them? I've been yelling, screaming, all as hard as my lungs allow me to. At this rate Luhan will be dead, what he said earlier this day would come true , he won't be back forever!

Luckily, Luhan left the door open, so the person who lives next to us who just arrives from his work, the bun-seller with a chubby face that resembles the bun itself, notices the abnormality from the apartment next to him. He then checks it out, just to find a limp Luhan laying on the floor.

He cradles Luhan's head, patting his cheek hoping he will wake up, but he doesnt. Desperate, he jumps out and grabs his phone, calling the ambulance immediately for precaution. By the time I arrive at Luhan's home, people are crowding his house, and there is a big white vehicle which people refer as ambulance. Again, I feel a chill running down my spine as that kind of vehicle, is the vehicle that took the grandpa from the room two doors away from ours when he died a few months ago.

Without cue, I panic. Where will Luhan be now? What are they going to do with him? Will he be alright? I try to chase for the vehicle, but I fail, since my legs aren't strong enough.


I sit in the darkness of the room, as the sun gradually sinks looking as beautiful as ever, in contrary with my heart. My stomach growls, by each passing minutes, the growls grow stronger and stronger, but I don't mind. All I care about is Luhan now. Just Luhan, Luhan, and Luhan. He must be hurting now, way more than I do now.

Several hours later, a lot of men enter the dim apartment. They are big and buff, indicating that they mainly use brawn for work rather than their brains. I whimper at the sight of them, because they are terrifying, almost in every aspect. I scramble to hide behind the door as they start packing Luhan's stuffs into big cardboxes.

"There are no valuable stuffs, why would they want us to move things from this ugly apartment?" One of the workers speaks up as he opens Luhan's closet.

"I don't know, a job is a job. As long as I get money, I don't really care. " The other man with taller build replies as he prepares to moves Luhan's books from their place.

"I heard these stuffs belong to the son of our client." Another man with the shortest build shoots from behind, busy throwing out foods from the drawers.

"Are you sure he's their son?" The tallest man that speaks after the first man picks up a photo of Luhan from a nearby desk.

"Yes, it's him. This client is our regular, they move a lot. A couple of years ago they made their son to stay here alone to complete his studies. I moved his stuffs for him, I know his face." The man with the shortest build approaches the tallest man and investigates the piece of paper in his hand.

"Really? I mean he looks really pretty, even prettier than a girl." The first man with the medium build comments flatly and snatches the picture from the taller male's hand.

"He's very good looking, and very friendly. But... We all know why our client wanted us here. " The shortest man takes out his hat and stares at the picture, a look of grief sprawled on his face.

Why!? Why are you so sad to see Luhan's face? What happened to Luhan? Is he alright? Lots of questions go through my mind, waiting to be answered. I need to come up with an idea. These guys are coning back to Luhan's family's house, so no matter what I need to sneak in. I leap inside one of the card box, hiding among Luhan's pillows and plushies that stink with his smell.


The trip lasts for about five hours, and now here I am hiding behind a wall. The house which Luhan used to stay in is really huge, probably thrice the size of our apartment, not to count in the garden and the , big, green gardens excite me, but now they don't. From what about I hear, Luhan is here, but what questions me the most is that the population of the people inside the room. Dozens of people crowd the living room, most of them are women, sobbing.

As I get the chance, I slip by dozens of people and looks at Luhan from a closer spot.

He looks beautiful. He has always been beautiful, but he looks even more beautiful now. Dressed in a tuxedo, Luhan lies there in the bed of flowers, wearing a peaceful sleeping expression that he wears when he is having nice dreams. His complexion is pale, paler than before, and his rosy cheeks are nowhere to be found. His eyes aren't big, wide, and lively, but instead they hide behind his thin eyelids, long lashes curtaining them.

Luhan is gone.

Luhan won't be back forever.

As I maintain my hidden position, I choke back tears, looking at my beloved master falling into deep sleep that will last for even more than a hundred years, and will never be cured by even a simple kiss, or true love.

Now I get it why I no one heard me, why no one cared about me, why I could sneak in without being caught, I have always gotten it since I was born. I was born different than you, different than Luhan. I will never be able to walk to school each day, will never be able to bicker at each other, will never be able to wear fancy clothes, and will never be able go shopping. These hands, which have been padded paws instead of slender fingers are useless. They cannot save anything. Because I was born like this, no one understands what I say.

I hate my life. I hate being born like this.

Afterall I cannot surpass mother nature's will, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I wanted it.

I am, a cat which thinks of itself as a human, at the end will be able to save nothing.