So perfect. Everything about her was perfect. Sarah O'Brien could barely recall how her life had been before she came to Downton and met Cora Crawley. Well, she could, but she'd rather not. During the years they had been together they had developed such a strong friendship, but secretly Sarah always wanted more. Always, for as long as she could remember. They got along so well, ever since they first met. Although she knew Robert wasn't too keen on her Cora liked her enough to keep her. That had always warmed her heart and it was one of the reasons she loved Cora so much: she knew her own mind, she didn't let anyone boss her around. She had seen Cora through tragedy and happiness, and she was sure of one thing: Cora was the most delicate and yet fiery woman she had ever met. She could be anything, she was like the ocean. Slowly but surely friendship developed into something more. It was so subtle, so discrete, that it was hard to tell when and what was happening. Somehow it just did. Sarah's hands begun to linger too long on Cora's body when she dressed and undressed her, the comforting hugs became more intimate and then one day Sarah leaned in and kissed her mistress. And Cora kissed her back. Nothing too serious had happened. Just kisses here and there, hugs, touching, deep talks. Sarah had tried to go further but Cora always backed away. She didn't allow Sarah to undress her purely for the purpose of loving her. Maybe because it would become too concrete that she was actually stepping out on Robert, maybe because she didn't feel it was right for two women to do that. But Sarah treasured the intimacy she could get to an extent she could barely comprehend with herself. She didn't know what she would do if she couldn't hear Cora's voice or make her laugh they way she did now.

And now as she was sitting in a sofa with Cora's head in her lap, gently stroking her hair, she wondered how this came to be. How did she get so lucky? How come she had met this angel? She glanced down and smiled to herself at the sight before her. The room was vaguely lit and judging from how dark it was outside it was surely past midnight. Cora was dressed in her nightgown and Sarah should've said goodnight and left her to go to bed ages ago. But for some reason she lingered. Ever since Lady Sybil had died Cora refused to let her husband into her bedroom. Sarah wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that, but she never discussed Lord Grantham with Cora so she didn't know exactly what went on between them. On this particular evening Cora had said she didn't want to be alone. They kept talking and eventually ended up on the sofa. Cora was breathing heavily and Sarah wasn't quite sure if she was asleep or awake. She leaned down and placed a light kiss on Cora's cheek and when she immediately opened her eyes and smiled Sarah said:

"Would you like to go to bed now, m'Lady?"

Cora shook her head and yawned. Sarah's heart melted every single time she yawned, she was so adorable. That was one of the reasons why she liked to spend time with her in the middle of the night. She longed for her yawns, no matter how odd it may seem.

"Are you sure? You seem tired." said Sarah and smiled when Cora suddenly sat up and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"Yes, I am, but I don't want to part just yet." said Cora as she leaned in and allowed Sarah to place her arms around her. She embraced her happily and shivered when Cora kissed her again.

Cora was so close to her. It felt like she was always so close, but yet so far away. Whenever she thought about Cora she felt both happy and devastated. Never, ever had she felt so strongly for someone before. And never had anyone she felt something for been so out of reach. If Sarah could choose she'd stay with Cora until the very end. Stay just like this, together, close and calm in the middle of the night. Their mouths were still joined and when Cora parted her lips she happily sneaked her tongue into her mouth. As she kiss deepened Sarah felt Cora's hands trailing up and down her body, finally stopping at her breasts. She couldn't for the life of her believe Cora Crawley actually liked touching her. The way Sarah saw it Cora was high above her and no matter how many times Cora told her she still didn't believe she was valuable in her eyes. It was too good to be true. Sarah groaned when Cora gently squeezed her breasts through the material of her uniform and straddled her to get better access to her mouth. When Cora broke the kiss and embraced her again Sarah allowed her hands to sneak up and gently stroke Cora's bottom. The other woman tensed and for a second Sarah thought she was about to intervene but when she relaxed in her arms again she slowly continued. Ever so slowly she let her hands travel down Cora's legs to where her nightgown ended. Cora let out a little moan when her maid's hands touched her bare skin, but when Sarah started to hitch up her nightgown she grabbed hold of her hands.

"No." she said, her voice barely a whisper.

Their eyes met and even though Sarah wanted nothing more in the world than to make love to Cora properly she removed her hands.

"I can't let you do that to me, I'm sorry, I.." Cora begun, but Sarah silenced her with a kiss.

"Don't apologise to me, you've got nothing to apologise for in the first place." she whispered when their lips parted. Sarah allowed Cora to embrace her again and she traced her fingers along her back. Slowly silence filled the room again. Their relationship stretched way past any other relationship Sarah had ever experienced. She felt so protective of Cora. She treasured her safety, comfort and wellbeing more than her own. If Cora didn't want to be touched in that way she would never trespass on her wishes, though there was nothing she longed for more than being able to pleasure Cora.

"Do you honestly want me?"

The question left Cora's lips almost like a whisper but caused Sarah to jerk. What sort of question was that? If she honestly wanted her? Of course she did. Sarah gently moved Cora from her lap and grabbed hold of her shoulders. Looking deep into her eyes the answer to the question became clearer than ever.

"I've never wanted anyone more." she replied steadily.

"Never?"

"Never. Every day spent with you is.. It's what keeps me going." continued Sarah and although she felt her eyes become teary she forced herself to not break the eye contact with Cora. Her answer seemed to convince Cora because she gave her a hint of a smile before she grabbed hold of her hands. Silence, once more. Cora was carefully caressing Sarah's hands and meanwhile Sarah kept her eyes locked on Cora. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Sarah broke the silence with the question she had asked so many times before.

"Do you want me then, m'Lady?"

Cora immediately looked up and gave her maid a tender look.

"O'Brien, Sarah, you know I do. How many times do we need to ask each other this?" sighed Cora and Sarah smirked when she leaned in closer and whispered:

"I guess we both want reassurance."

"I guess we do." replied Cora and gave Sarah a mischievous look before advancing on her and pushing her down so she was lying on her back. Their bodies were suddenly so very close. Sarah could feel Cora pressing her body even closer to hers, sneaking her hands around her back and eventually tangling her hands in her hair as their lips were joined together once more. The kiss was probably the most passionate so far. Like the kiss itself embodied their desperation and confused feelings towards each other. Sarah felt her heartbeat raise when Cora gently spread her legs and pressed her thigh against her. When Cora started grinding her thigh slowly she couldn't suppress a moan and just as she was about to return the favour Cora pulled away.

"How's that for reassurance?" whispered Cora, still breathing heavily.

"It'll do. For now." said Sarah with a smirk that earned her a final kiss from Cora before they parted for the night.