Author Note: I'm not usually into 'Time Travel' fics. I've certainly never written one before, myself. But this story called out to me, and demanded to be put on the page. So, here we are. I can see how it could easily have fitted in with canon, but what does everyone else think?
Repentance
In the Cave, Africa:
"Do it!" Spike demanded of the demon. "Do it! Send me back!" Tears ran down his swollen, bloody cheeks, as he fell to his knees. "Please, make it so I didn't do it. That I didn't try to…" the vampire choked out a sob. "So I didn't almost…" His body shook the violence of his guilt. Not wanting to look upon it a moment longer, the demon granted him his wish, sending him back almost a year; to a moment that would ever be etched into the back of his mind.
Stood there, at the bottom of the Slayer's staircase, professing his love to her on the same night she'd sacrifice herself to save the world – again – Spike was jolted backwards into his body.
'What now,' she thought, as he shuddered, and began to weep. If she was being honest with herself, she'd admit his words had touched her, but the tears seemed a bit much from where she was standing. Coming back down the stairs, it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him to pull himself together. That she needed a warrior, and that he was no good to her like he was. But when she caught his eye Buffy instinctively knew something more was up.
"What's wrong?" she asked, instead, as she allowed herself a moment of weakness, to tenderly reach out and stroke Spike's cheek. The vampire flinched away from her, and inwardly she was horrified. "What the hell happened?"
"Slayer… Buffy," he sniffed, running a hand over his eyes. "God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
The grave tone of his voice immediately reminded her of the grave danger her sister was in, and of how short their time was.
"Can this wait?" she asked - almost pleaded. Something within her wanted to hear him out, and get to the bottom of what was suddenly troubling him, but she was also so very aware of the clock.
"No, Buffy, listen," Spike said, taking hold of her hand and practically dragging her to the couch. "I have to tell you this."
Buffy of course wasn't one for being dragged anywhere against her will, but she allowed him to sit them both down and explain.
"You're gonna die tonight," he said, plainly, and her world constricted.
With wide eyes the Slayer looked at him, then gulped, but wasn't able to say anything.
"Glory has a tower," the vampire continued, not remembering how much Buffy already knew by that point. "Dawn's gonna be tied at the top of it. It's her blood that opens the portal. An' you…" he sobbed again. "The monks made her out of you. You share the same blood. Portal doesn't close until the blood stops flowing. Until…"
"Until I jump off the tower, to stop hell dimensions bleeding into ours, so Dawn doesn't have to?"
Spike nodded.
"And Glory?"
"We beat her. You beat her. But Doc's up there – he starts the bleeding."
"Doc?"
"Demon. Follower of Glory. Me and Dawn have met him before. Me an' the boy thought we'd ended the bastard not two hours ago, as it happens. But he's there, and he cuts her open."
"Right," Buffy said, standing up to take action; falling easily into her commander role. "So you go back to Doc's place, kill him dead this time. Then come meet us at the Magic Box – make sure we've got everything we need to stop Glory. We can do this."
"Wait, Buffy, if it doesn't work-"
"We'll make it work."
"There's more. I lost you. You came back, but it all went wrong. I-"
"One thing at a time, Spike," said Buffy, interrupting him again. "I know this is important, all this stuff you suddenly know. I can tell we've barely scratched the surface, okay? But if I don't get out there and stop the apocalypse then none of it will matter."
"Yeah," he agreed, while hanging his head, before standing up too. "Yeah, sorry. Right. Off to kill Doc, got it."
"Thank you," said Buffy, as he reached the door.
"No," he said, not turning around to look at her again. "Don't. I don't deserve-"
"Later?" Buffy asked, gently, cutting him off.
"Sure thing, Slayer," he agreed, gripping his broadsword a little bit tighter. He was determined not to get things wrong, the second time round.
At the bottom of the tower, beside the corpse of Glory's body sharing alter ego, Spike stood in awe. As Buffy descended the stairs, keeping a tight hold around Dawn's waist, the vampire's eyes were transfixed on her. He couldn't quite believe they'd done it. Buffy hadn't died. Buffy had not died. The Slayer would never be ripped from heaven by her friends. She wouldn't suffer for months coming to terms with the sudden shift. She… she was walking towards him. He gulped. Xander complained, as she passed Dawn over to the vampire. Both Spike and Dawn stood there in silence, clutching each other for support, as they watched Buffy turn around to the carpenter and give him an order to knock down the tower with the wrecking ball. Then she turned to her watcher and said, in no uncertain terms, that she needed to go home and speak with Spike. "We're gonna take Dawn back there now. Don't disturb us."
Xander opened his mouth to complain again, to which Buffy simply reminded him of his task. "Scooby debrief tomorrow. Seven, at the Magic Box. Tara, welcome back. I hope you're feeling up to it."
The girls shared a small smile, and then it was done. They went home, as planned. Buffy tucked her emotionally overwrought sister into bed, and then went back to the living room, sat down beside Spike, to hear the rest of what he'd come to warn her about. She braced herself for the worst, but it was not what she expected.
Her eyes were wide again, as she processed all his words. "Things really got that bad?"
Spike didn't answer. He'd hung his head again, halfway through the explanation; unable to look her in the eye as he confessed his sins.
"I'm sorry," the Slayer said then.
That got him looking at her again. Faced with the obvious confusion in his eyes and, was it horror? She rushed to clarify.
"Sorry for my part in it, I mean. I shouldn't have treated you like that. It… it doesn't justify what you tried to do. Not at all. But I get it, okay? I understand. And I'm sorry that I used you."
"I-" Spike began.
"I know," Buffy told him. "If anything is so obvious that it doesn't need to be said right now, it's how sorry you are. That…" she hesitated briefly, then found her courage. "That and how much you love me."
Spike nodded, then told her he was going to leave town.
"What?" the Slayer exclaimed, "No! Why?!"
"I jus' explained. So I don't hurt you."
"But you're not gonna do that. You've learnt your lesson," she reasoned.
"Not taking any chances," he said, getting up to leave.
Buffy put a hand on his, to stop him, and he froze in place.
"Do…" he began to ask, as his piercing eyes searched hers. "Do you want me to stay?"
"Yes," she answered him, with certainty.
"Why?"
"Because I do. I'm not promising anything. Not saying anything will happen between us. But I want you around, and I'm open to the possibility of it. Maybe, someday - in the right circumstances."
"An' yer mates?"
"This isn't about them."
"You want me to stay?" he asked again, unable to fully believe it.
"I do," she confirmed, gripping his hand that little bit tighter.
He slumped back down into the couch. Later they fell asleep, still sat there, watching a movie together. It was the start of something new. So much more than he wished for; had ever dared to hope for.
The End.
