TITLE: One Chance (Perspectives/Torn)

AUTHOR: LOTSlove®

CHARACTERS: Richard / Kahlan

RATING: R / M

TIMELINE: Anything up through S2 season finale (Tears)

STORY TYPE: Angst / Romance / Adventure

SPOILERS: Anything from Seasons 1 & 2

DISCLAIMER: I love them and love to write about them even though I don't own them or make a dime.

SUMMARY: Another first person perspectives fic based on the episode Torn, this is Richard and Kahlan's perspective of their one night together.

One Chance : The Mother Confessor (Part I)

The events of the day play out over and over again in my mind as I consider the situation I now find myself in. Staring into the flames of the campfire, I still find it difficult to comprehend that I am a Confessor without magic, a woman like every other woman in the world.

I close my eyes and attempt to find that magical force that is always coiled so tightly within my belly and I find that familiar piece that has been a part of me all of my life is still missing. It is unnerving to say the least as I try to decide how I really feel about it.

My powers have been my gift, my heritage, my nemesis and my greatest source of grief. I know no other way of life than what I have lived, what I have been taught. It wasn't until I met Richard Cypher that I realized that there was something more, something that I was missing…something that I so desperately wanted more than anything in my life.

Love.

And not just any love and certainly not the love of a confessed mate, but the love given of a man's free will. Richard's love.

With a sigh of resignation, I finally move to my bedroll, wrapping my blanket around my shoulders as I attempt to settle in for the night but I already know that my mind will not rest, not with all of the thoughts that have consumed it since the amulet split in two.

I am a woman and a Confessor and the two have never been considered separate, but always one. The Confessor in me puts responsibility and duty before my desires and wants. The woman in me wants Richard Cypher, wants to know his touch, to experience the passion I see simmering in his eyes when he looks at me and I am reminded once more that I no longer possess my magic.

Lying awake under the black canvas that is littered with countless stars, I can't help but think that those tiny flickering lights are blinking their encouragement for the thoughts storming in my mind, thoughts that have plagued me for the last eighteen months.

They are thoughts and feelings that should have long ago been abolished but my heart wouldn't allow it. Instead, my heart betrayed me in a way, nourishing and protecting those precious feelings, allowing them to grow and intensify until I was powerless against it. Against him.

I've been hanging by a very thin thread of control for so long and now that my Confessor's powers are no longer a part of me, I feel that last thread snap within me and it suddenly takes my breath away as realization washes over me.

I suddenly feel reborn as thoughts and emotions long ago deemed forbidden begin pounding through my body, taking control of me and I relish the feeling.

While consumed with worry and fears about the missing piece that used to dwell inside of me, a sudden awakening thrives in its place, desire that has always simmered in my very core unexpectedly breaking free as I glance at him as he sleeps so peacefully.

I bite my bottom lip in nervous hesitation, my fingers gripping my green blanket tighter as I fight the sudden desire that is quickly becoming all-consuming and again I find myself powerless against it.

Me. Kahlan Amnell, the Mother Confessor, ruling authority of the entire Midlands powerless against something so innocent, so pure as love.

I close my eyes, attempting to shove aside that wonderful fantasy that has been doomed since the day we met, but always kept so alive in my Seeker's heart.

But sleep will not come. Not now. Not after beginning down that path of no return. And there will be no going back.

Not tonight.

My eyes open and immediately fall upon the one that my heart beats for. This is it. It's now or never. The only chance that we might ever have to know each other in such an intimate way that we've both wanted for what seems like an eternity.

And I can't deny him. Not now. Not after having denied him myself for so very long, only allowing a chaste kiss here, a hug or a squeeze of the hand there. I'm the only one standing between us being together as one forever. Me and my damned magic.

But now…now there is no longer anything keeping us from what we so desperately want – each other.

If we succumb to our passions tonight then maybe, just maybe I can bear to look at him without the heavy ache in my heart that nearly drops me to my knees every time that I see the desire blazing so brightly in his eyes for me.

The agonizing pain of not having him wars fiercely with the pain of denying him and again my heart breaks all over again for the thousandth time.

But if we make love and I become with child what then? Would I jeopardize the mission? Richard would become distracted with worry over me, over trying to keep me and our baby safe that it would become even more dangerous for him than it already is.

Our baby.

It has been something that has haunted my dreams and my desires for as long as I can remember, adding to my heartache and widening the gaping abyss that separates me from the man that I love.

While he swears that he will be with me forever despite not being able to make love to me, I cannot bear the thought of never being able to give myself to him in that most precious, most intimate of ways, denying him the child that I know he wants.

One chance.

This could be our chance, my chance to give him what we've both dreamed about for what feels like a lifetime. Once the quest is over and the rift is sealed, we could finally be a family, not in the most traditional sense as far as husband and wife are concerned, but we'd still be a family none the less – Richard, me…our baby.

I don't know why I'm arguing with myself, fighting against what I know in my heart that I've already committed myself to doing.

One chance.

That is all that I have. My one chance to know true love, to feel what's it like to feel his body over mine, what it is like to be in the arms of the man that I love with my whole being, to feel his flesh hard like steel moving inside of me and over me as he takes me with the heated passion that I get just the briefest glimpse of when he looks at me with those eyes.

One chance.

I'm going to risk it for my heart will allow me to do no less than this.

Sitting up with bated breath, the blanket falls from my shoulders. With trembling fingers, I reach out to touch him in the stillness of the night, softly calling out to him despite Cara's presence and the curious feel her eyes on me.

I swallow hard, saying his name once more. His name is so sweet on my tongue as it leaves my lips and I tingle in expectation knowing that tasting him will be even sweeter than his name, than my dreams.

I know to my very core that this is right.

Richard awakens, his eyes clouded with sleep as well as concern. He immediately asks if I'm alright and it brings a soft smile of reassurance to my lips. His constant concern for me always makes me feel so safe when I am with him.

I attempt to ease his worry, telling him that I'm fine when in reality I'm far from it. I need him, need him more than I can possibly bear, my desperation rising within me. My burning hunger to run my mouth and hands over his body gives me the courage to go on, telling him some feeble excuse about needing to talk to him alone.

He stares at me with those warm brown eyes that see directly into my soul. He knows me better than I know myself and I feel arousal settling like a warm flood in the center of my pelvis.

I know that he's not entirely convinced that I'm alright by the way that he looks at me, but he comes willingly.

He always comes.

He helps me to my feet and I feel his hand on the small of my back as he tells Cara that we're going for a walk.

We walk in silence for several moments, my heart pounding so wildly beneath my breast that I'm certain that he must be able to hear it, must know what I want to talk to him about. It seems so obvious to me what I'm thinking. I'm surprised that he hasn't been thinking of it too.

But my Richard is so noble, so honorable that he would never think to tarnish the image of the Mother Confessor in such a way, wanting to wait until we were wed. But that is not an option. Not with me.

This is our only chance to share the passion that has been smoldering in our blood since the day we met. There is no more waiting, no more interference, no Zedd. For once, I'm putting what I want first, quest be damned, because we deserve this more than any two people on the face of the earth.

We enter a clearing, the moon shining so brightly in the sky that it casts the most ethereal yellow glow I have ever seen. Richard comes to a stop and turns to face me and I feel a shiver of excitement tingle down my spine.

I draw a deep breath and know that it is now or never. I feel such a nervous fluttering in the pit of my stomach as he stares so intently at me. Spirits, I have no reason to be so nervous, not with my Seeker.

I tell him that I couldn't sleep and I almost fumble over my words as I remind him that I don't have my powers and might never get them back. I tilt my head, brushing my hair over my shoulder as I try my best to form coherent words but the way he looks at me and the love thrumming through my veins along with what I want to say all becomes a jumbled thing inside my mind.

I finally tell him that this could be our only chance.

One chance.

I watch as his breath visibly catches with my words, realization suddenly sweeping through him and I stand so amazed before him that he hadn't been thinking of making love with me since the moment I had lost my powers.

It was obvious by the stunned look on his face that his utmost concern had been with me, making sure I was safe, that I got my powers back. His needs, his desires, his wants were all shoved aside for me just like he had always done. For me.

I'm almost hurt that he hadn't considered it after discovering that I had lost my magical abilities. I thought that he would have wanted to, but the sudden change in his face washes away those concerning feelings.

His brown eyes darken in that instant, narrowing into the intent raptor gaze that makes my blood flow like liquid flames except that that heated gaze is not for the enemy, but for me. All for me. His passion, his love, his body, his all is for me.

The thoughts and emotions that are suddenly racing through his mind become clear by the expression of unadulterated want that veils his face. My knees grow weak with the mounting need that makes the air almost crackle around us from the intensity and we have yet to even touch.

He asks me if I'm saying…but he is unable to finish his words as well. His breathing is already becoming labored as I tell him yes…if he wants to.

And our only chance swiftly turns into our most passionate moment…