AN- This had started as a second chapter to 'A Sitcom Gone Wrong' but turned into a series of scenes and dialogues between Eric and Dan while they holiday at the Hamptons. It definately is Dair though and can be read both as a sequel to 'A Sitcom Gone Wrong' or as an independent one shot.

A big thanks to bsloths for beta reading this so quickly.

Title taken from the song by Green Day.


"Daniel Humphrey. H-U-M-P-H-R-E-Y." He still couldn't believe that he had somehow convinced Blair to accompany him to The New York City Public Library. It was as she had argued, a tad bit too 'public' for her taste.

But here she was, exactly where he wanted her, beside him, while he showed off the fact that there was a book under his name in there.

"Take a look at that!" she exclaimed as the librarian handed them over his novel, " do you know that he is the author of this book?", she asked the woman behind the desk, " Daniel Humphrey in flesh, right here in front of you."

He couldn't help but feel the immense amount of pride at the excited tone in her voice and at the double take the librarian took at him.

He had finally arrived as a writer. His very first novel, published and hard bound, and there was Blair Waldorf looking at him like it all had been worth it.

There was just one more thing to make all of this perfect.

"Let's get out of here. There is something I need to tell you."

"What?" she asked smiling and he could swear that never had she looked more beautiful; her hair tied up in a bun, her skin pristine against the black of the sleeveless, well fitting cocktail dress, an elegant diamond necklace gracing her neck.

He didn't want to wait any longer.

With fingers that shook a bit with excitement and a bit with love, he took out a Tiffany box from his coat pocket, "Blair…," he began as he opened the box to reveal a metallic band with their names engraved on them. It came free in a Cracker Jack box but he knew it was perfect, "will you marry me?"

She looked up at him and where he was assuming to see joy, he saw confusion, "I'm sorry Humphrey," she said picking up a hand to show him a huge yellow sapphire rock on her finger, "but I'm already engaged."

Dan wakes up in a tangle of sheets and sweat. What a strange strange dream.

"Look who got up on the wrong side of the bed." Eric greets him as Dan makes his way into the kitchen, His face is still grouchy and his hair is still standing up. He stopped caring for appearances a while ago.

"I had a bad night."

"Bad dream?"

"The strangest of its kind, I was Paul Varjak and B…"

He stops short as Eric raises an eyebrow in question, "You were dreaming about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

"Not just dreaming about it, I was in Breakfast at Tiffany's."

"Really? How was it?"

"Technicolour." Dan replies, unsure if he should tell Eric the rest of it. Laughter was sure to ensue if he did. What the hell did the whole thing mean anyhow?, "who dreams in movie verse anyway?"

Eric lets out a chuckle, "You would," and then he remembers something, "actually somebody else does too. Serena told me something once but I just can't seem to remember who."


Eric finds him in front of the computer as usual; the summer is almost drawing to a close and he can swear that his step brother has not written more than three pages in three weeks. Dan had been serious when he had said that his days as a writer were over.

If his story in the New Yorker and what he has heard from others was anything to go by then it really was a pity.

From the brim of the magazine he is pretending to read, he catches Dan checking his mail for the hundredth and seventh time, "No mail from Blair yet?"

"There hasn't been one since we came," Dan answers before he realizes what he has answered to, "I'm not waiting for any mail," he clarifies quickly.

"Of course you aren't."


Jenny comes to visit them one weekend, claiming that it was convenient that the only two people she wanted to talk to at the moment were together in one place, "It saves me a trip to the godforsaken UES," she says sliding in next to Eric on the couch.

The two men smile at each other. Apologies were not an in thing in their lives and they managed to make do with whatever little there was to it, "You're welcome to stay here longer if you like," Dan offers because she would always be his little sister.

But Jenny has other plans, has other productive plans and even though Dan doesn't truly approve and is sure Rufus doesn't either he is glad that she is happy with her idea of deferring from fashion school for a year till she completes her training as a junior designer with Ralph Lauren. It's a huge deal for her and he truly is proud.

He leaves the two friends to catch up when he goes back to bed. He takes a quick look at his computer before he does so and the pit in his stomach which hasn't lightened in spite of a Jenny's welcome visit only becomes heavier.

There are no emails from France.


"What is wrong with him?" Jenny asks Eric just before she heads out, "is it that insane cousin of yours I heard about?"

Eric gives the same answer as he had given Rufus, "It isn't about Charlie."

"Serena? Again?"

He only continues to chuckle slightly.

"Please tell me it's not Vanessa."

Eric gives her an 'I dare you to guess' look. She isn't able to.

He can scarcely believe it himself.


Sometimes he worries that he has lost his mind. What was he doing here anyway? Why was he not in the city, looking for an internship? With Blair out of his way, he could actually have a chance of having a sabotage-free job success. Why was he here instead, in a place he had previously hated with a boy he had previously not bothered to know better?

Nate calls up one day, somewhere from Asia and Dan finds himself asking his friend how Chuck was doing.

And this is what bothers him the most, since when did he start relating to Chuck Bass?

"It's called finding an escape," Eric throws at him one day.

"What?"

"The globe trotting Chuck has gone into, the 'choosing me' routine Serena has fallen into at California…"

"And?" Dan prompts because he's sure there is an and.

"And, why Blair is getting married in November and you are here."

"What are you escaping from?" Dan asks. Eric smiles at him a little bemusedly, "I like the Hamptons luxury Dan and I seem to enjoy the company of brooding lovers," he looks down at the left over pizza boxes, "and the stale pizzas and the expensive bourbon CeCe has stocked here is just an added bonus."

Dan laughs and drinks to that, wondering what was it that made the younger boy the only sane one among them.


He emails her about Jenny's visit and he knows that it probably is the riskiest topic in the world to talk to Blair Waldorf about.

But he is just that tiny bit desperate for something from her.

For another week there is nothing even to that and he is just that close to either throwing away his laptop or booking a flight to Paris till he realizes that it simply means that she has finally decided that he wasn't worth spending a summer correspondence with while they were princes and castles and fairytale balls to attend to.

And wedding arrangements to be made.

He decides that day that he is done 'escaping' and that it is time that he manned up to the truth and realise that there is nothing he can do about it either.

He has to move on.

And pretty much in cue with all the other things which are royally screwed up in his life, the timing of her reply just about sucks… It says nothing about Jenny, does not even give the slightest mention of any of his last emails.

It starts with 'Hello Humphrey' and ends with 'Till next time' and is, as what was promised between them, full of snarky, scene by scene recount of Hal Ashby's 'The Landlord'.

Dan Humphrey can only laugh to himself, unable to decide whether it's in irony or just plain grief.

This is the first time that he does feel truly sorry for himself.


AN- I quiet like the idea of Dan dreaming the way Blair does and he perfectly fits in Paul's role in Breakfast in Tiffany's, don't you think? Please let me know how it was, I myself have a very mixed opinion about it and would love to know what you guys think.