Mother died giving birth to little sister. From there, things only got worse.
I remember the screaming. First, the agonized wailing of mother, and then, the first sounds of life from little sister, and last, the horrified protests from father. The noises became to much in the end, and I fled the room. Ramming through the hospital doors and fleeing down the empty hallway served as my escape from the screaming, the horrible barrage of noise that scraped at my eardrums and clawed at my mind. But, as all things eventually do, the noise faded away.
It was eight years ago today. Eight years ago that mother had died and sister was born. To her this was a day of celebration, a day to commemorate her coming into this world. To me it was a reminder of that spine-chilling noise, the screaming and screeching that threatened to take over my thoughts yet again. She didn't seem to remember it at all, she didn't even remember mother's funeral. It sickened me.
I was four years older than sister. She was eight and I was twelve. We both lived with father in a small town called Hallowfield. It was a quiet place with a small population, with hardly any tourists and few large buildings. The whole town was built amongst trees, sometimes a house would be built about the base of a living tree, leaving branches visible inside the rooms. We were the closest town to nature in the entire nation.
"Hey!" Little sister's voice struck me, and her head appeared through the door, "Aren't you coming? We're gonna' cut the cake!"
I didn't answer straight away. Slowly, I gazed up from the book I had been reading to meet sister's gaze.
"I will" I told her after a moment, "Give me a minute"
Her head disappeared around the door as fast as it had appeared and she scampered away, laughing. I shut the book and placed it on the table. The book was titled 'Legendary Alchemists' and it told the stories of the most notable alchemists that history had given. Myself, I had very little interest in alchemy, but I occasionally read up on it when father asked me to. He couldn't use alchemy himself, why not I never knew, but he made sure both me and sister knew the basic rules, such as 'Equivalent Exchange'. I didn't pursue the matter any further than that, but sister did. She spent long hours reading about alchemy, and did her best to use it.
I stood up from the rather old fashioned armchair that father valued so much. I was in his personal library, a cozy little room lined with bookshelves and crammed full with books. The room was lit solely by candles, the flickering flames giving a dull light to the mahogany walls and dull red carpet. A small, round table and leather armchair were the only other things in the room that served a purpose. The book I had been reading was covered in hard, black leather on the outside and the pages were old and worn, even to the extent that some of the words were illegible.
The air in the hallway was cold compared to the warmth of the candle lit library. Plain white walls greeted my eyes, a drastic change from the mahogany brown of the library. The wooden floor felt smooth underfoot as I walked along. I could hear the commotion downstairs, people chatting and laughing together, as you would expect from a party.
I stopped.
I hated it. There was too much noise, too many different sounds to process all at once. Too many pitches, tones, too many sound waves being crammed into my ears all at the same time. I couldn't stand noise, above all else. Sometimes I wished for a silent world where I could just think and think alone, but that wasn't going to happen unless I popped my own eardrums.
That'd probably be more trouble than it's worth.
Downstairs was a riot. Even before I had entered the main room, I was regretting coming down into the crowd. It was hard to avoid the many shouting children or lingering adults that hung around like flies. I shoved my way through the gathered people until I could spot sister amongst her friends in the main room. Father was stood over her, smiling and handing her a gift-wrapped box and a card.
"Hey!" Father saw me as soon as he looked up, "Amethyst, come and wish your sister a happy birthday!" He tried to make it sound cheerful, but I could hear the stern tone to his voice, like he was scolding me for being antisocial.
"Happy birthday, Sapphire" I congratulated her in the friendliest tone I could muster up. Already I could feel father's gaze on me, again criticizing my insufficient tone. He knew I hated noise, crowd, pretty much anything associated with a party, yet he still insisted I come. He had never cared about me. Sapphire was his precious one. She practiced alchemy and was rewarded for it. I was an aspiring artist, but that meant nothing to father. He often made it clear that unless I was to learn alchemy he wouldn't treat me the same was he treated Sapphire. But I wasn't about to play his game. I'd learn alchemy of my own accord and only when I wanted to. Not before and not until.
"Amethyst? Amethyst, are you awake?"
"…Yes"
"It's father..."
I lifted my head of the pillow and glanced towards the half opened door where Sapphire was standing. She clutched a small Zebra teddy in one hand like a little child, and her legs trembled as she waited for my response.
"What?" It took a moment for me to remember what she meant, but it did come to me.
"It's happening again" She whimpered, blue eyes round and afraid. I sighed and got out of the bed.
"Where is he?"
"In the library"
"…Alright, wait here"
I pushed the door open fully and passed Sapphire into the hallway. From here I could hear father's irritable coughing, yet another noise that I had to deal with.
Father was dying. He never said it, but each year his conditions got worse and worse. How long he had left I wasn't sure. He would cough and splurt all night long, throwing up mouthfuls of blood and even some internal acids. He wouldn't see any doctor either, simply because he was too stubborn. I had often wondered what exactly happened to make him like this, but every time I had asked he'd refused to give an answer.
"Father?" I tapped the half-open door and poked my head into the library.
"Amethyst!" He let out a surprised croak, kneeling on the floor and clutching his throat with his hands. He looked a mess.
"What's wrong with you?" Concern began to rise in me, even though the way he treated me, he was still my father.
"You... Where is Sapphire?"
"Sapphire? Why?" All sympathy vanished. Here he was, half dying, and still all he wanted was my sister.
"I'm here, father..." I jumped as Sapphire stepped cautiously into the room. She still carried the small Zebra teddy, and her long blond hair shone in the dim light. I could see the worry in her bright blue eyes.
"Have you..." We stopped as he coughed some more, "In your alchemy research...Can you recreate organs?"
"What?" She sounded totally shocked, and to be honest, I was too. Recreate organs?
"I need..." He wheezed again, "I need to know... Can you do it?"
"No, I can't do anything like that" She whispered, "That's alchemy far to advance for me, and even so..."
"Why do you need organs?" I challenged him, finally coming to breaking point, "All this time you've kept it quiet, now talk! Why are you like this!"
"I wasn't addressing you!" Father hissed, but the effort only drained more energy out of him. I could only glare as he continued.
"I want you to learn" It wasn't a plea, more a command, "I want you to research until you can"
"It's impossible!" Sapphire protested, "Alchemy is founded on the basis of deconstruction and reconstruction. To reconstruct an organ, I'd need the basic materials that make up the organ itself. I don't know what organs you need or what elements make them up!"
"Then learn!" He roared, almost making me yelp in alarm. I turned to Sapphire, hoping she would punch him for it, but she stood there, frozen in shock, tears streaming down her face.
"But...Father..." She whimpered, "I...I don't like biological alchemy...It's..." She shivered at the thought of it. She had hated anything biological since the day she was born. I had guessed it was to do with the fact that mother had died giving birth to her. Maybe she feared it, or maybe she blamed herself for mother's death.
"I don't care" He spat out the words like ice, "You will do this for me, Sapphire"
"And what if she refuses?" I stated, unable to keep quiet any longer, "I won't let you make my sister do something she doesn't want to, father or not, not without some answers anyway!"
"This isn't about you!" He scowled, almost as if I wasn't there, "You don't concern me, Amethyst"
"Well, you concern me!" I yelled, "I won't sit here and watch my father die, while my sister is forced to do something against her will! If it really will save you, I'll do it!"
There was a shocked silence to follow, although I hardly noticed. Rage had taken over me. My face was hot and red, and I could feel my stomach knotting up like string. I wasn't about to be kept in the dark any longer, and I certainly wasn't going to let this man, father or not, force Sapphire into this terror. What he needed to recreate organs for, I could only guess why, but he had better give a decent explanation for it.
"I'll do it" I repeated, clenching my teeth tightly, when neither father nor Sapphire said a word, "Tell me what you need me to do"
Father said nothing, only stared, emotion unreadable. I could hear Sapphire's whimpering gradually fading as she listened helplessly to the conversation.
"There are books" Father murmured at last, "In my Library. The back shelf. There are some books on Bio-Alchemy. But that won't be enough" He didn't look anywhere else except me, not even blinking, "Find somebody, or something, that can tell you how to do it"
By, 'do it' I assumed he meant 'recreate organs', but that was hardly anything to go by. I pressed my hand against the side if my head, shutting my eyes a nodding slowly.
"If there were any decent books on Bio-Alchemy, wouldn't you have them anyway?" I queried, pondering where I would find the information and skills that I needed. It seemed like a herculean task right now. I only knew the most basic Alchemy. Even Sapphire was better at it than me. The chances that I could do this were less than I'd have liked to think about.
"I… There are research materials that I am forbidden to see" Father croaked, blue eyes going slightly distant, "Those….That belong to the military"
I could see where this conversation was going, and I really didn't like, and so tried to deter it before I could get to the conclusion, "But only Military Personnel and State Alchemists can use those"
He just looked at me.
"No. Oh no. No way" I gasped, "You want me to become a dog of the military? A State Alchemist! Work for those bastards? No!" I yelped, shaking my head violently, "I can't! I'm not a human weapon!"
"All who have tasted the power of Alchemy are, no matter how little they have done so, using the power of this mystical power for their own benefit…That is being a weapon in itself" Father muttered, mostly to himself. I blinked at him, a sense of numb blankness enveloping me. I didn't want to join the military. I really didn't. I honestly couldn't think of anything worse.
"I'd never pass the exam!" I tell him, desperately thinking of the most believable excuse, "There's a test to become a state Alchemist. I'm not good enough!"
"…I suppose…. Sapphire is" He gave a quiet threat, forcing a cold shiver through me and a startled squeak from Sapphire.
"But she's only eight…" I start to argue, then stop. There were no age restrictions when it came to becoming a State Alchemist. There had been some debate in the past over what age should be the minimum, but after the incredible story of the FullMetal Alchemist Edward Elric, who passed the exam at only twelve, it was decided that it didn't need an age restriction. Age didn't really matter when it came to Alchemy. It had been that way ever since.
Sapphire wasn't ready for military life. That was clear as anything. I wasn't even sure if father was being serious or not, whether he would risk his precious daughter to the ferocious military dogs. Maybe he was saying it to make me feel guilty. Maybe he really was so desperate that he'd resort to sending Sapphire away. I didn't really know.
But I sure as hell wasn't going to find out.
"…I'll need some time" I announce, unable to bring myself to say it any clearer, "I'll need somebody to teach me some Alchemy, too"
"That's my girl" Father's words surprised me, he'd never said that to me before. But before I could register the shocking comment, I was overwhelmed by a cold emotion.
He doesn't love me. He only wants my Alchemy.
I shook my head and left the room without another word. I heard Sapphire call my name and follow me out of the library, but I paid no attention to her and headed straight for my own room. I didn't even bother turning the lights on, I simply walked over to my bed and lay face down on top of the quilt, staring at the dark piece of fabric, only one though readable in my mind.
What the hell am I doing?
