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Acceptance
Chapter 1: Open Eyes
I drifted.
I was aware of very little; it was dark and earily silent. I couldn't smell, taste or touch.
On rare occasion I could hear a mutted voices, I dimly recognised voices of different people but I couldn't recall their owners names, I would reach for a sense or meaning in the whispers but as soon as the unconprehensible whispers began to form words they slipped away from me and I would feel like I was falling. The speed of my drop would slowly decreese and eventually stop untill I was drifting again,far from hitting any sort of boundry.
Maddening. The entire situation was maddening.
More than the elusive garble and the absent senses I was bored. I was awake but unable to do anything other than think and I couldn't help but dwell on the questions that plagued my overaware mind. They built up the longer I drifted but always ended up Looping back into one another: Where was I? What happened? Why am I here? Why can't I remember what last happened to me?
The last thought buzzed around my mind the most. I'd found the decisive blank in my memory almost instantly. My memory simply cut off to black and I found myself here, wherever, whatever, here was.
I remember waking up in the morning. I remember having a cup of tea and a slice of buttered toast for breakfast. I remember driving to my sisters place where I gardened with my unresponsive mother as Francine did chores around the house. I remember walking Max around the block before leaving to go to work. I remember my three hour shift at the pharmacy with perfect clarity, I stocked the shelves and showed a diabetic woman where the needles where. I remember my late lunch with Emma and driving her home.
I don't remeber taking another step after I closed her front door behind me.
I hesitate to call it black because it wasn't. It was nothing. There is a strong difference.
Dimly I felt something different. Something had changed. I could feel again. I felt light against my closed eyelids.
I wasn't drifting anymore, I was being wrenched upwards by an unbeleivably srong force. I struggled against it out of pure mule headed ness. I'd been drifting for what felt like so long after all so the unfamiliar sensation of movement was unwelcome. Alas, it was useless and I felt myself on the borderline of conciousness.
Light burned against my eyelids. My body was covered by I thick quilt and I felt no desire to move from its warmth. Without thinking I curled into a ball burying my face in the blankets and breathing in I realised something was wrong. It wasn't an instantanious realisation. It took several long moments to settle in through my sleep clouded mind. My bed, it felt wrong.
Breathing in again I saw that it smeled wrong too. I was used to the smell of tea and cigaretts that saturated my entire house but both of these comforting sents where absent, instead they where replaced by the smell of dirt and lavender.
I couldn't get out of that bed fast enough.
I jumped up looking around, I was in a extremely feminin unfamiliar room. Bright colours, pink,yellow and green blared at me and I wondered where I was and with slight amusment who's bed I was sleeping in. I ran a hand throught my hair wondering what on earth was going on when I noticed.
The hand was pale. I moved the hand experimentally clenching and unclenching the fingers. I was controlling the hand, but it wasn't mine.
I noticed a floorlength mirror in the corner of the neat room. I walked over to it hesitantly slightly scared by what I would see.
I was terrified.
In the mirror there was no black hair, no tanned skin, no cinnamon eyes, no tall athletic figure. It wasn't even the fact that it wasn't me that was so terrifying. Being a hidious three eyed mutant may have been preferable to the doey eyed brunnette that stared back innocently at me.
No, I was staring at Aerith Gainsborough.
Now that's more of an intro than anything. I'm not sure where I'm going with this but I guess we'll see...
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