Eridan's hand trembled over the send key. He had to press it, so he could end seven sweeps of silently suffering over Feferi. Now at ten sweeps old, Eridan could be punished for vacillating quadrants like this.

He dramatically crushed the send button.

"New message from caligulasAquarium!"

Feferi's phone vibrated in her pocket. Even though she was supposed to be helping Her Imperious Condescension listen to complaints, she slyly slid the phone out to read the message.

"fef wwe can't be moirails anymore. i cant really explain wwhy. wwe just cant."

Feferi barely stopped herself from shouting in disbelief and instead choked on a gasp. Before she could think of a reply, she received another message "okay i did it."

"—ED?!" she typed furiously. One of the guards gave her a side glance but she couldn't put her phone down.

"sorry wwrong wwindoww," was the reply, followed by "caligulasAquarium has blocked you."

Feferi was even more stunned and confused. What motivated Eridan to do this? Why now? Who had that other message been intended for? Had he cheated on her? Was this just some dramatic pull for attention?

The worst part was that Eridan was off on a military expedition for a quarter of a sweep yet, so she wouldn't be able to ask him any of those questions. She wanted to scream in frustration; no doubt Eridan had planned it that way.

She glanced at Sollux who was sitting at her feet. Though their matespriteship was long over, he was still her psiioniic servant. Sollux could easily break into Eridan's account and see all of the messages sent, but Sollux was adamant about having nothing to do with his ex-kismesis. Technically, Feferi could order Sollux to hack Eridan's account, but she didn't like to treat Sollux that way. He was only her servant to keep him from being grafted onto a ship. She needed another way.

")(ey Nepeta, I R-E—ELLY need a favor! 38(" she tapped out urgently. The same guard was still glaring at Feferi. She shot him a dirty look and went back to her message.

":33 what's wrong?!"

"I'm a M-ESS right now! —-Eridan just broke up with me!"

"XOO what!? *ac offurs you a hug*"

"AND H-E BLOCK—ED M-E!"

"XOO that's horrible!"

"S)(-ELL me about it. T)(AT'S w)(y I need a favor."

":33 *ac listens patiently*"

"I need you to convince Sollux to )(ack Eridan's Trollian and figure out w)(y t)(e S)(-ELL H—E DID T)(IS!"

":? but why have ME ask him?"

Feferi bit her lip and contemplated spilling Sollux's secret, "You're just super PURR-suasive 38)"

":33 if you say so!"

"And PL-EAS-E don't mention W)(Y you want -Eridan's log."

":33 you got it!"

Nepeta excused herself to go back to the hunt. Feferi said her good-byes and put her phone back in her pocket. She was sure Nepeta could come through for her. In fact just now Sollux groped his phone in his pocket, though he didn't check the message.

Meanwhile, in the barracks on another planet, Eridan was struggling to keep it together. Kanaya was trying to calm him down, but for every consoling thing she said, she had about twenty other things that only made him more upset.

"maybe i should message her…"

"If You Message Her I Guarantee You'll Rescind Your Break-Up And Pour Your Heart Out, And That Is Exactly What You Were Afraid Of Doing, Remember?"

"i fuckin hate doin the right thing."

"This Is For Your Benefit Too. You Don't Want To End Up Like A Certain Famous Ampora, Do You?"

Eridan groaned. Why did Kanaya always have to be so right? It was fucking obnoxious.

He turned off his phone without bothering to say good-bye to Kanaya and rolled over. Tonight, he would let himself quietly cry into his pillow. Tomorrow he would destroy anyone or anything in his path.