Meh. Four random Crellie drabbles. Written as a result of insomnia. None of them have anything to do with each other. I don't really know if I like any of them, and I don't know if I'm keeping this or deleting it. Feedback?
Oh, and I own nothing.
If all else fails, I hope the least you get out of this is how beautiful of a song Hesitate is. Listen to it.
Please, if you're coming down to rescue me… now would be perfect
[Shadowman – K's Choice]
It starts with a scream. An agonizing, haunting sound that comes from the bathroom of a cheap second-rate motel nearly abandoned on some forgotten road.
He thinks back on a time not too far back but long gone as he feels his chest tighten. He thinks of the hearts he has broken, the dreams he has forgotten, and the friends he left behind.
It hurts so bad, this pain in his chest. He wants to rip out his own heart, but then remembers he never had one to begin with.
"It's all going to be lies! You'll say whatever it takes to get your hands on this, won't you?"
He flinches at the memory. His best friend, a girl broken enough to begin with, in pieces after the greatest heartache she had come to face. And it was all his doing. The only person in his life to ever understand his fucked up mind and accept him the way he was… and he played her out like she was some fucking groupie who happened to be standing between him and his addiction.
It's been nearly two weeks since he's touched the stuff. Nearly three whole months since he's seen her.
And he can't tell which is killing him more.
Oh, how we push and pull
[Try – Asher Book]
"No." Ellie says firmly, finishing up the last of her morning coffee fix; all black, no sugar. Craig couldn't stand the smell of it, let alone understand how she could drink the stuff.
"Why not?" He asks.
"You know why."
He rolls his eyes, "Devon's never fucking here. What would it matter? Just one date."
"He is still my boyfriend," Ellie explains, hoping that would end the conversation.
But Craig wouldn't accept this as an excuse. He turned and stood in front of her, his dark eyes fixed on hers. She tries to step to the side, out of his way, but he mirrored her movements, blocking every escape she attempted to make.
"I'm not moving until I get a better reason, Ellie Nash."
It was her turn to roll her eyes. "I have a boyfriend, Craig Manning," the tone in her voice mocking his.
"Who cheated on you while studying abroad in Italy! He even told you himself!" He places his hands on her arms, as if trying to make her realize something important. "Hello!"
"We technically haven't broken up. Just because he cheated on me does not mean it's okay for me to turn around and do the same thi-"
A pair of warm, rough lips cut her off; a mouth she had been dying to kiss again since their one time fling in California. The same lips she had forgotten about as different lovers entered and exited their lives. She couldn't even gather up enough willpower to resist. The one boy she never thought could possibly love her back was kissing her.
And suddenly, nothing was real and everything felt whole.
Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
[Edge of Desire – John Mayer]
His hands find their way up her spine, unhooking her bra so skillfully she wondered just how many times he had done this before.
She lets out a small, barely audible moan as his lips trace her collarbone and begins lifting up his old black t-shirt, the one with some old, overrated band's name faded out on the front. She tosses it to the ground in a hurry to feel his skin pressed against hers.
It wasn't what she thought it would be like. Not that it was bad. It was just… different. It was rushed, yet she felt safe and comfortable.
And, well, it was needless to say that she hadn't pictured her first time being with her best friend's ex-boyfriend on an old couch in a dark, cold garage she had come to know so well over the summer.
Maybe he was only doing this because he was hurting, and maybe it was desperate and wrong of her to take advantage of him this way, but it felt so right, as cliché as it sounds.
It was over a lot faster than she thought it would be, but having nothing to compare it to, she couldn't be too sure. He held her afterwards like it was the most natural thing in the world, to be there with her of all people. He rested his head on her soft red hair and just laid there, holding her, while she drifted off to sleep.
He won't know what to think or feel come morning, but for now, this was enough.
I'm fearful of heights and you take me higher
[Hesitate – Steve Moakler]
There was the cocaine thing. Strike one.
No, wait. That was definitely strike two. There was no way she didn't hold choosing Manny against him. She was definitely angry about that for awhile.
Strike three was the whole thing that happened in California, which he had been redeemed for shortly afterwards.
Strike four (he's obviously had too many chances here), was not calling her or answering her calls after that kiss in the airport. He didn't know how to feel about it, and by the time he finally did… well…
Strike five. Trying to kiss her when she had a new boyfriend named Jamie or something. He was a nice enough guy but the relationship didn't last long. She blamed him for it for the longest time, but he waited for her to finally forgive him, which took several months.
Regardless of all of those "second chances" and broken hearts, they managed to keep each other. And as he stood there, seeing the girl who pushed him to chase his dreams, and the woman who helped him learn to love himself and put himself back together, slowly making her way towards him looking more beautiful than he could ever imagine, this was all that seemed to matter.
She kept him around.
XxXx
Eh.. What do you all think?
