My name is Jenny, I am twenty-three, I am a waitress, I don't know who I am. People have different names for me. My boyfriend calls me bitch. My father calls me darling. My old friends used to call me 'Little J', my daughter calls me "Mama". My name is Jenny.
She's sitting in the emergency room. Everything is white and smells clean, but not a good clean; more like chemicals; toxicity. Toxic chemicals to remove the scars of a toxic relationship. Her lip- split, her forehead- gashed, her nose- broken. She can feel the burn of people looking at her, they know my secret. She can feel their thoughts. She's been there only an hour today; but it's not the first time she's sat in the emergency room; She's a regular, she should probably get a loyalty card or something. The nurses and doctors, they know. Everybody there knows. They all give her that look, to tell her they know. They know she's a victim, but they don't ask. They don't tell her they know. They wait til they think they're out of earshot, then they whisper to each other. They whisper, like school girls. They pretend it's because her mother didn't raise her well enough to know how to get out of a bad relationship. They think he's bad. They think she's weak. They call her a victim, "The poor, poor thing" they say, and then they shake and bow there heads. But she's not weak, she's not weak, and she's not a poor thing. He makes her look like a victim. Jenny Humphrey's relationship with her boyfriend makes her Jenny Humphrey... the victim. At least that's how doctors, nurses and patients at the hospital would define her.
Her mother was in a car crash. She's in rehab. She can say a few things, darling, food, poo. Jenny visits her mother every day. She reads her the paper, showers her, combs her hair, takes her for walks. She holds her hand, she takes her swimming. She walks past the receptionist. The receptionist sees her there every day
"what a beautiful, caring daughter" she thinks to herself. Her mother admires her daughter. She wants to tell her how grateful she is for the care she's been showing, she wants to tell her she is so relieved someone cares for her. But these people don't know her, they don't know her boyfriend beats her. They just know her mum needs her, her mum needs her and she does what any daughter would do. Doesn't she? Jennifer Humphrey, she signs her name onto the sign in sheet. A nurse walks by, "You here again darl? Go home, take a rest, she'll be ok, you're young, she's fine, don't worry so much". She doesn't listen. Jenny Humphrey cares for her mother. Her mother needs her; Jenny is the carer. Or that's what people believe when they see her with her mother.
She's on the tram. The seats are furry and brown. It smells like sweat and a nursing home. Passengers press against her. She has a seat because she got on first. Mina calls while she's driving to work, she uses hands free. They talk about work and men. They tell jokes. They giggle. Jenny tells Mina about her new hair dresser and the waxer in SoHo. The other passengers listen when their iPod is dead or they forgot their magazine. She seems so carefree. She seems so young, so naive. The elderly lady in front of her tuts out loud at the reference to sexual intercourse, "girl's these days, so improper, so dumb" she thinks to herself. The boy behind her is about 14 "she's hot" he thinks, he imagines her naked. The other passengers are envious, "she must have it easy, good friends, happy life", that's what they think. They don't know her. They don't know her boyfriend beats her or that her mum needs her. Mina makes her happy, but her relationship with Mina makes people believe she's dumb, "stupid young girl" they think.
She tucks her toddler into bed. "Night baby" she whispers and kisses her on the cheek. She leaves the room. She shuts the door. "Mama", she goes back.
"I'm sced" her daughter asks.
"Of what" she states. She's tired. She wants to go to sleep.
"Mosta" she cries to her mama. Her mama climbs into bed next to her.
"Don't worry baby, mama's here, no monsters, go to sleep."
Her daughter, nearly asleep, she feels safe in her mama's arms. Her mother is her hero. She's so brave. She's so strong.
"Stwong mama" she mumbles before she falls asleep."
But she doesn't know. She doesn't know her papa beats her mum, she doesn't know her nana needs her or that Mina makes her stupid. She doesn't know her mama's weaknesses. Jenny Humphrey... her daughter's hero.
My name is Jenny. Who am I?
