Title: After the Visible Wounds Heal
Slash/Mature. Don't like, don't read.
Summary: Gibbs visible wounds may have healed after Neverland, but he refuses to deal with the deeper more emotional wounds. What happens when Tony makes him face them?
This was going to be a one shot, but decided to break it down into a couple chapters. All mistakes are mine. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone.
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Tony stirred in his sleep when he heard a squeak. He pulled his head up and looked at the alarm clock on the night stand, 2:12. Letting out a sigh, Tony climbed out of bed, grabbed his t-shirt and made his way down the stairs. He could see the light from downstairs and when he reached the bottom step he saw the table lamp by the couch was on, but the couch was empty. Letting out a sigh, he rubbed his forehead. It was going to be another one of those nights. He'd been staying here almost every night since Gibbs came home from the hospital. It started out as him being here to help take care of Gibbs after the shooting. A knee replacement and open heart surgery take a toll, even on the almighty Gibbs. After two weeks in the hospital Gibbs said they either needed to release him, or he was going AWOL. The doctors finally agreed when Tony stepped up and said he'd stay with Gibbs. Physical Therapy was coming in four times a week, Ducky checked in at least twice a week, and Tony…well he'd become nurse, maid and sometimes therapist to Gibbs. They had tried to bring in a therapist, but that lasted a total of ten minutes and after that incident, no one tried again.
It had been over a month now and Tony was still here. His roll had changed in some ways, he was less of a nurse and maid and more of an informant. Gibbs wanted to know about every case, every little detail and they spent most nights talking about cases. Tony was thrilled actually, he wanted Gibbs involved in work, wanted him ready when the doctors gave the green light for Gibbs to come back. He knew it would be restricted, probably desk work, but they were all ready to have Gibbs back. Overall, Gibbs was doing well. The wounds were healing, physical therapy was down to twice a week, and his strength had come back. The things that had Tony worried were the erratic sleep pattern and the lack of that normal Gibbs fire. They'd spent countless nights on the back patio, drinking in silence, or exchanging a few words about a case. But nothing seemed to engage that normal Gibbs' fire. Nothing seemed to bring any kind of emotional response from the man and of course only a few words had been exchanged about what happened, other than about the actual case. Nothing about what Gibbs went through and if Tony even tried to bring it up Gibbs would slough it off or just say he was fine. Tony had tried to provoke Gibbs numerous times with no success and that bothered him.
He stepped into the kitchen and looked at the basement door. It was closed as it had been since Gibbs came home. Gibbs hadn't showed any interest in the basement, working on a project, nothing. Again, Tony had tried but Gibbs blew him off. He grabbed two beers from the fridge, took a deep breath and headed out the back door. Without a word he dropped down in the patio chair next to Gibbs and handed the man one of the beers. Gibbs accepted it, twisted off the cap and downed half the bottle. Tony saw the five empty bottles on the table between them and realized it was going to be another long night.
"Knee bothering you?" Tony asked opening his beer and taking a sip.
"Nope." Gibbs stared off into the back yard. "Thought you said you finished up the case."
Tony's brow furrowed. He had finished the case, they talked about it when he'd come home tonight. An embezzlement plot gone wrong, a Marine killed one of the guys involved. They had everything they needed, the gun, the guy's bloody clothes, and DNA was being run when he left. "It is."
Gibbs took another swig from the beer and swallowed. "Abby didn't finish the DNA till almost midnight."
"Okay." Tony drew out the word.
"You should have stayed till it was done."
Taking another sip of his beer, Tony didn't respond.
"Your team lead now, you don't go home until the job is done."
"It was done, we had the gun, the clothes, and DNA was just another nail in the coffin."
"You stay until ever piece of the puzzles is complete. What if it wasn't his DNA?"
"Abby would have called."
"She shouldn't have to call."
"So what she called you just to tell you it was the killers DNA."
"Yes."
"You're checking up on me?" Tony clenched his jaw. "Thanks for the vote of confidence."
"Is this what you want?" Gibbs asked. "To be me, to lead this team?"
Tony chuckled. "Those are two very different questions."
The comment finally made Gibbs look at Tony. "What the hell does that mean?"
"Do I want to be you, no?" Tony took a sip from the beer bottle. "Do I wanna lead this team, yes?"
"You have a problem with the way I lead my team?"
Tony shook his head. "No, I have a problem with the way you live your life away from the team…and I won't be like that."
Gibbs slammed the beer bottle down on the table between them. "And fucking a new woman ever couple weeks because you can't commit, is so much better."
Tony shrugged. "At least I'm getting laid on a regular basis." He glanced over at Gibbs. "Can't say the same about you."
Gibbs glared over at the younger man. "You're still just a boy, trying to play the big boss man."
"I did just fine when you ran off to Mexico so you wouldn't have to deal with anything." Tony paused. "Maybe you should just head back to Mexico, retire, sit on the beach and get drunk every night so you don't have to face the fact that the Great Leroy Jethro Gibbs isn't immortal."
Standing up, Gibbs walked into the house without even a glance at Tony. The back door slammed behind him.
"That's it run and hide like you always do." Tony barked as he stormed through the back door. "God forbid you have to talk about yourself and the emotions you have."
Jerking the fridge open, Gibbs grabbed another beer, twisted off the cap, and practically chugged the bottle down.
"Yeah have another drink, become an alcoholic, because you don't want to deal with the fact that you came this close to dying…AGAIN!"
"This is about you not being ready to lead this team, not me!" Gibbs snapped back.
"No, this is about you knowing I can lead this team and being scared that there won't be a place for you when you come back."
"I'm sure you'd be thrilled if I ran off to Mexico again."
"Oh yeah because that worked so great the last time. You leaving me to clean up the mess you left."
Gibbs glared at the younger man.
"Abby was a disaster for months, she plastered your picture on the walls and computer screens and played horrible gothic emo music. Ziva would bite everyone's head off whenever they brought up your name; McGee couldn't even look at your desk." He clenched his jaw shut without finishing the rest.
"And you just loved every minute of it, playing the supportive Boss that picked up the pieces."
"I HATED EVERY MINUTE YOU WERE GONE! I HATED YOU!" Tony yelled.
Gibbs grip on the beer bottle tightened, then suddenly he threw it across the room and it smacked against the wall behind Tony.
Tony heard the bottle wiz passed his head then the crash, but he never flinched. He stared at Gibbs. "So there is actually some fire left in you."
"Get the hell out of my house!" Gibbs snapped.
"No."
The word spoken in blatant defiance made Gibbs scream the words again. "GET OUT!"
"If you didn't want to be here why didn't you just give up on that operating table? You could have just stayed with Shannon and Kelly, had the perfect little afterlife. You're not living anyway when you let their ghost control everything you do, including trying to be happy with someone else."
"Don't." Gibbs growled.
"Don't what? Speak the holy names of Shannon and Kelly!" Tony spat out. "What did they tell you? Did they beg you to stay, tell you to give up and just stay there with them?" His eyes narrowed as he stared at Gibbs. "They told you to come back, to live life to the fullest, to love, to let the people that care about you be there for you, and to let people in. You hold on to her, but ignore what she has to say." Tony laughed. "Your loneliness is self-induced and it won't end until you let it."
"Shut up!"
"No." Tony stood his ground, even as the imposing figure that was Gibbs barreled towards him, halting when they stood toe to toe. Squaring his shoulders, Tony glared back at his boss, his friend. "Scream at me, hit me, do whatever you need to do, but it ends here."
Gibbs grabbed Tony by the biceps and shoved the man halfway across the room. "Get out!" He snarled as he stormed from the kitchen into the living room.
Tony stormed after him, grabbed the older man by the arm and spun him around. "I'm here, I'm your friend and I demand you let me." He heard the roar, stunned when he was grabbed by the arms again and propelled against the living room wall. His back hit the solid form and the air rushed from his lungs in a loud huff as Gibbs held his hips pinning him in place. He reached out and grabbed Gibbs' face with both hands, their eyes locked in a battle of wills. "Let me in." He was jerked forward then slammed back against the wall. "I don't care what you do, I'm not leaving." Another quick jerk back against the wall. "If you need to draw blood, do it, but damn it let me in!" The hands on his hips tightened and pushed him against the wall with less vigor.
Gibbs' head slumped forward, his forehead settling against Tony's as he gave the younger man another half-hearted push against the wall, struggling to keep up the fight.
"Let me in." Tony repeated as one hand slid down Gibbs' chest then circled Gibbs' waist drawing the man's body against him and feeling the man tremble. "Let me in." The grip on his hips started to lessen. "Let me in." Tony demanded again as his hand latched onto the back of Gibbs' neck. He felt Gibbs' hands slip around his waist crushing their bodies together. "Let me in."
Gibbs' head slipped to Tony's shoulder.
Tony felt the tears seeping through the fabric of his shirt and his arm around Gibbs' tightened. His hand at the back of Gibbs' neck gently combed through the silver hair in a soothing pattern. The body slumped against him and the weight trapped him between the man and the wall. "It's gonna be okay." Tony whispered. "I promise." He felt the arms around him tighten, the fingers of the hand at the small of his back clawed into him, desperately trying to hold on tight. "I'm not going anywhere."
