How did I get here? I'm sitting in my bath tub, bleeding and crying, with a knife in my hand. It hurt. Don't get me wrong it hurt a LOT, but it felt so good. It felt like with each smooth slice of the knife on my forearm, my problems were just bleeding out of me. I felt this enormous weight just lift off of me. I felt so much better…

I was about to complete one last laceration when the door opened. Damn it! I forgot to lock it. I scrambled to the door before she could see me and stood behind it, trying to block her from coming in.

"Lexi, baby? Are you okay? Listen, I know thi―" She gasped. I knew it was because she had seen the bloodied bath tub. I hadn't rinsed it out yet. She pushed her way through the door way and grabbed my wrists. She examined my arms and the blood stained knife on the sink, before her eyes fell on my face. I looked at the mirror to avoid her gaze. I didn't realize that would be worse. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a girl with tear stained cheeks, arms red with blood and swollen cuts. I saw someone pathetic. Someone useless and a coward. A girl who let her problems consume her, use her, control her…

I started crying again and tore my eyes away from the mirror to look at my forearms. I pulled my wrists away from my mother and started to rinse them off in the sink.

"Lexi, honey, w-why did you do this?" She asked, still crying. I never wanted to hurt her. I just wanted the pain to go away.

I dried my arms off with a towel and turned to look at her. She was scared. I thought for sure she would be disappointed or angry, but she was legitimately frightened. I could see it in her eyes…

"I don't know, Mom." I said through my tears, pulling her in for a hug. We stood there for a moment crying with each other. Finally, she pulled away, put her hands on my shoulders, and looked in my eyes.

"Lexi, I'm sorry about everything but we'll get through it. If you were upset, you should've come to me," She took a pause to catch her breath and look back down at my arms. "I want you to promise me you'll never do this again." She looked deep into my eyes, waiting for my response.

"I promise. I promise I won't cut anymore." I said tearing up a bit.

~4 Months Later~

"Dad! Austin's hogging the bathroom again!" I yelled down the stairs to the kitchen where my dad was participating in his routine morning coffee. We had been living in London for 3 and a half months. We, my dad, brother, and I, needed a fresh start. My parents had gotten a divorce 4 months ago and I had taken it the hardest. I had resorted to self harm, then gotten ridiculed for it at school for weeks before my dad had decided to move to England. He got a job offer as a professor at a university and decided to take it. I told him I wanted to go with him to get away from it all. Since Austin wasn't my mother's biological son, but he was my father's, he decided to come too. My little sister had stayed with my mom and my other older brother had moved out long before the divorce. I gave up everything to come here, and I regret nothing.

"Austin, get out of the bathroom! You know how long it takes for your sister to get ready," My dad said with a teasing smile. I threw a pillow from the couch in the loft down the stairs at my father. He threw it back at me and said, "Whoa! Don't mess up the hair!" He winked at me as I made my way down the stairs. He kissed me on the cheek, said a quick goodbye, and headed off to work. As soon as the door closed, my brother ran down the stairs.

"Did dad leave?"

"Nope. He's actually standing right next to you. He's just invisible," I said with a teasing smile.

"Well, look at that! Someone put on their smarty pants this morning, huh?" He said running over and picking me up by my waist to spin me around.

"Austin! Put me down!" I said between giggles. "You're so weird! Just hurry up and eat breakfast so we get to school on time. What would that say about us if we were late on our first day?"

"That we're bad asses," he said, his mouth full of toaster strudel. I laughed and grabbed my bag and his keys, for motivation. He saw me and shoved the rest of his breakfast in his mouth, chasing after me.

When we pulled into the parking lot there was a large group of girls screaming around a black car. I tried to get a look at what was going on, but Austin started pulling me into school behind him, "Let's go, before we get trampled Lex."

We started walking up to the school when a girl stopped me. "Are you new here? I've never seen you before." I just loved their accents here.

"Yes. What is that all about?" I asked, gesturing to the mob of screaming teenage girls.

She looked over and rolled her eyes, "One Direction. They're a boy band. Unfortunately, they've decided to go back to school. They just had to come here."

"A boy band? Are they any good?" I asked, suddenly interested. I have always loved music; in fact it was my major here.

"I don't know. I don't listen to their music, but they are ridiculously hot, I'll give them that." Now I was definitely interested! "Are they from here then?" By this time Austin had left, but I didn't care. I wanted to know more about this "hot boy band".

"Why don't you ask them," She said looking behind me. I was a bit confused so I turned to look where she was looking. I saw 5 very attractive young men. (Calling them boys did not do them justice.) There was a super tall one with curly, brown hair; one with brown hair, laughing, with a lot of stubble; one with dark hair and blond highlights on the top of his quiff; one with brown hair and yet another quiff; the last one had blond hair with painfully obvious brown roots. They were indeed hot as the girl had said. (I'll have to get her name later.) And they were walking toward me. I looked over at the girl wondering if I should stay here or continue into school. Her eyes widened at me as she quickly fluffed her hair and winked at me. I giggled at her gesture.

They stopped in front of us and the tall one spoke up, "Hi. I'm Harry. This is Louis, Niall, Liam, and Zayn. I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting you. What's your name, love?" He smiled a warm, welcoming smile.

"I'm Lexi. I moved here a few months ago from America. It's nice to meet you." I smiled at all of them. I could see now that they are beautiful. Zayn has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen and Niall's smile is breathtaking. And while I was talking to Harry, I got lost in his green eyes…

"Lexi?" Liam asked.

"Yes?" I said, snapping back to reality.

He chuckled, "I asked if you needed anyone to show you around."

"Erm…sure. I'd like that." I smiled.

"Cool. Okay, we should get going." He turned to the girl next to me, "See you around Jade."

I walked into school with 5 of the most beautiful guys I've ever seen and I had the biggest grin on my face. Today was going to be the greatest first day ever.