The Prank

Steve froze at the sound of voices nearby. Of COURSE they were female! He'd been pranked before, but THIS was the worst prank ever. While he was showering in the locker room off the Avengers' sparring gym, all his clothes AND every single scrap of anything that could cover his modesty had disappeared… except for a hand towel.

In a hamper across the gym, his shirt perched temptingly on top. That sight had caused him to leave the locker room, hoping to retrieve it.

He held the hand towel in front of him, an incredibly inadequate shield, suppressing curses as he realized that the door locked behind him when he stepped out. He could break it, but the noise would draw attention, the last thing he wanted. At this point, he guessed his best option was to hide and wait until the middle of the night to sneak home. He considered scaling the outside of the building, but had nightmarish images of a news helicopter broadcasting his naked ass all over world media. A glance reminded him that none of the windows on this level had coverings of any kind. No handy curtains, not even blinds. He wished his shirt was bigger. Even if he got to it…

He leaned back against the locked door and looked Heavenward, only to find himself staring into Natasha Romanoff's smirking face inside the ceiling vent. He glared, his look promising harsh retribution. Wild thoughts ran through his mind, many of which would likely get him killed by the assassin, but he was so angry that he didn't care.

Natasha winked, the gesture exaggerated and teasing.

At that instant, he recognized the voices. His expression shifted from anger to panic. He shook his head vigorously at Natasha, trying to mutely communicate that this was beyond ALL bounds. She put a finger to her lips, showed him that she had his pants, and gestured for him to listen. Her message was loud and clear. 'Listen. Then, you get your pants.'

He nodded once, jaw tic of anger on full display (much like the rest of him).

Pepper Potts' voice carried. "Darcy? How long are you going to hide the fact that you're falling in love with Steve Rogers? You shouldn't be afraid to fall in love. It's the only thing that matters."

Darcy huffed a chuckled of disbelief. "How long is Steve Rogers going to be perfect, while I'm just a weird, schlubby, unpaid friend of a friend?"

Natasha raised an eloquent brow. Steve frowned.

Pepper laughed kindly. "You're weird in the best ways, Darcy, not at all 'schlubby'. You're lovely and sexy, just his type. And, Steve is not perfect."

Natasha nodded, expression comical. Steve's mouth tightened. He had no illusions of perfection, but was pissed at Natasha.

Darcy dissented. "Excuse me? Did we not just watch the man work out, while you made yoga look beautiful, and I made it look goofy? Were we not witness to a nearly-pornographic display of perfect musculature in action?"

Pepper snorted. "I'm not blind, Darcy. Steve is handsome, and has an amazing body."

Darcy grumbled. "Not just amazing. He's perfect." It sounded like she dropped something and moved to pick it up. "It's not just his looks, Pepper. He's smart, kind, selfless, heroic, and artistic… And, he has a criminally good sense of snark on top of all of that. He's perfect!"

Pepper's voice softened. "What do you love most about him, Darcy?"

Darcy sounded grumpy. "I'd be a complete moron if I answered that, Pepper! I'm not what he deserves. He deserves someone as amazing as he is. That's not me." There was a long pause. Darcy sighed. "But… if I were such a moron… I'd say that he doesn't make me feel as silly as others do. He acts like I'm not an idiot for not understanding battles, or weapons, or fight moves. He talks to me. I love the way he… sometimes… makes me feel almost special."

Pepper's tone was gentle. "You ARE special, Darcy." The sound changed, as she turned to face the windows. "The biggest imperfection that I see in Steve… is his awkward inability to tell you about the huge crush he has on you."

Darcy scoffed. "Why would he have a crush on me? That's stupid."

Steve closed his eyes, repressing a sigh of dismay.

Pepper continued to gently prod Darcy… and Steve. "Who does he spend the most time with here, Darcy? Who does he sit with during movies?"

Darcy interrupted. "That's just cuz I help with the modern stuff."

Pepper sighed. "You do. And, you do it without making him feel like an idiot, without making fun of him. But, Darcy! Who does he bring coffee to? Who is the only person he talks to about what he does? Whose yarn does he hold? Who does he always make sure gets invited to events outside the Tower, like bowling nights or charity events?"

Darcy sounded less certain as she replied. "Well, he's nice…"

Pepper retorted. "He's showing you how much he cares. Aren't you in love with him for all of those things?"

Darcy whispered. "Yes. I'm in love with him."

Pepper suddenly walked away from Darcy. "Of course you are! And…He's not always nice. He's going to be furious when I tell you he's listening, and just heard you admit that."

Pepper's eyes went wide as she saw Steve naked. Darcy let out a shriek of horror and gave chase. "He… What?" She caught up with Pepper, then followed Pepper's gaze and stopped in her tracks as the ceiling vent fell open and pants dropped to the floor in front of Steve. Natasha scurried away noisily.

Steve blushed, verifiably, from head to toe. Pepper glared at him, prodding. He forced himself to speak. "I'm in love with you, too, Darcy. Would you like to go out to dinner and help me plan retribution?" Pepper giggled triumphantly and darted away.

Darcy nodded, unable to form words.

End.