"Believe Me, I have a Boring Voice."
"Believe me, I have a boring voice." Said Professor Dumbledore. Snape burst into the classroom –
"Albus!" He cried. "Potter is a rotter and he's in danger with Granger, and Measly Weasley is with them, of course."
Snape had taken to speaking like this recently.
"They're in the dark with that boy Mark, with a shark, and Mark barked. Granger got a bit stranger, and then Potter shot 'er."
"Calm down, Severus, calm down." Said Dumbledore in his very boring voice. He looked like a mole today.
"I'm going to my office, where I can get away from you and your toffees!"
"Oh, Severus…that was bad. Couldn't you think of anything better? I don't even have toffees today, you know that."
Snape stormed out of the classroom.
Dumbledore decided he would go and find out what Snape had been babbling about, when he realised that Severus hadn't told him where to find Potter and crew. Potter being all-important as he was, Dumbledore put his voice on loudspeaker, and ordered the whole school to search for them. He waffled on a bit while he was at it. McGonagall died during his speech.
After about an hour of searching, Measly Weasley turned up under a rock. He was prized away from the stone, wriggling his legs, and tucked up early in bed.
("Measly Weasley sleeps under rocks, Measly Weasley smells of crispy socks.")
Potter and Granger were later found fighting. Wielding their wands at each other –
"Take that back, Hermione!" Oh, yes. Harry was having one of his temper tantrums again. It turned out this time; he was threatening to set Voldemort on her for calling his jumper 'poncy'. (It was poncy though, it was.)
So, Snape finally lost it, and poisoned both of them. Harry lived through it, as he was still protected by his mother's love charm, which makes him convinced he is invincible – the charm will save him from anything. He died under the wheels of the Knight-bus the next day.
Hermione deflected the poison with her super-powers, and slapped Dumbledore. She then remembered it was Snape she was supposed to slap, so apologised to Dumbledore and slapped Snape. Snape said "Granger you twat, get off of my hat, you old bat, and then –" Dumbledore whacked Snape. Ron ate himself, and Hermione went on to become Minister for Minstrels (the chocolates.) THE END.