I saw her.
She was clothed in a gown of breathtaking white, curtains of lace and frills dripped down from her slim waist in a mesmerizing, cascading flow of exquisite material. The wedding dress was ravishing; no doubt, but what made the picture even more striking was the way she held herself; perfectly straight and aloft, staring delightedly out into the crowd with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes of hers. I knew those eyes. So many times I'd looked into them when they were mad or angry at me: they had flashed dangerously with a spirit that none could compare to. But now, those same eyes were filled with something that I had never seen before. Happiness. Bliss. Love. It was enough to drive me mad.
I'd wanted her ever since I at first saw her. She hadn't been much of a beauty back then, but it wasn't her looks that had attracted me in the beginning. I was immediately enraptured by her resolve and dedication, her willingness to start a task and finish it to the best of her abilities. She was such a fierce little thing; completely determined to get what she wanted when she wanted it. I knew she would do anything to make her dreams a reality. This, to me, was much better than all the prettiness in the world.
But of course, fate works in unpleasant ways. She loathed me; absolutely loathed me with all of her heart. And I didn't know why. Perhaps it was karma finally catching up to me, or perhaps it was simply a bad twist of luck. Whatever it was, she was unshakeable in her hatred.
I watched her grow up through the years. It tormented me even more as she slowly became prettier, cleverer, and more devout in her detestation of me.
It made me want to kill myself.
The one girl I'd ever loved in my life wished that I would cease existing.
No matter how hard I tried to stop it, time went on. We found ourselves having to go separate ways. School was over, and it was time to enter the 'real world.' I did so with hesitation, wondering when I would ever get the opportunity to see her again.
It turns out that destiny continued to follow me. She and I both scored jobs at the Ministry of Magic. From time to time, I would walk by her in the hallways. She would only nod curtly in acknowledgement and continue on, leaving behind a faint trace of flowery scent. I would go home at night and smell my clothes over and over again, trying to recapture the fragrance in my head, trying to imagine what it would have been like if she had given me even the slightest chance. We could have been so happy together, I just knew it.
More time passed. I heard whispered rumors from co-workers that she and Weasley were engaged. Engaged. I had no hope left. She had gone and thrown away her life to that stupid moron. He didn't deserve her, not in the least.
And now it was her wedding day. I stood silently, watching her. She was a perfect angel; she was the most wonderful, amazing person in the world. And she wasn't mine.
The piano started playing a cheery, traditional tune that completely defied my dark mood.
She started walking up the aisle, the train of her gorgeous dress trailing behind her. A faint flush was prominent on her cheeks, and it was clear that she had no eyes for anyone but him. Weasley. The man who had stolen her.
All too soon, vows were exchanged. She leaned in to kiss him, and all of a sudden, it hit me. She was gone. I had no chance of ever getting her back.
Without really comprehending what I was doing, I quietly walked away from the merry scene that was taking place, a calm sense of despair flooding through me.
I could never have her. She loved him, not me.
It was too late.
My heart had been broken beyond repair.
"Goodbye," I whispered softly as I exited the gates, tears in my eyes. "I love you."
As if in response to my passionate farewell, two doves flew into the sky, twittering happily and circling in the air around each other. It was a gesture of love: a gesture of the bonding that holds the world together.
Love was something I'd learned to accept. Now, I was beginning to hate it. Because of her.
She broke me.
I would never love again. The consequences were just too great.
I swore that someday I would have to tell her what she really meant to me, how much I loved her, how devastated I was when she snubbed me, ignored me, and then finally chose another. But for now, it would have to wait. She was too happy right now, and happiness is hard to come by these days. So I'll wait.
They say that time heals all wounds, but I don't think that phrase is particularly applicable in my case. Time can do nothing for me now. Nothing. Because I was too late.
I love you, Hermione Jean Granger. Never forget that. No matter how far you go in life, no matter what happens, I'll always love you.
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