Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries, L.J. Smith does, I am just merely writing up a idea that popped into my head. All of The Vampire Diaries character's belong to her and not me.
Summary: Follows Damon's thoughts in the aftermath of Founder's Day. He find's himself musing over his situation after the kiss.
This is Currently a oneshot but it is subject to change. (along with the title.)
Author's Note: This song was inspired by Bloodstream by Stateless. (It was also used in the Damon/Katherine/Elena Scene.) Also note that Damon still hasn't realized it was really Katherine!
I hope you enjoy this story.
Please review!~
He didn't know how it happened. All he remembered was him coming to Mystic Falls to free Katherine because he had heard she was in the tomb; he didn't really care for anything else and if he got to make Stefan miserable then that was a plus.
What surprised him and tipped his world upside down was the girl who was identical in appearance, laughter and voice if you didn't count the tone of it; to Katherine.
However, she was nothing like Katherine he found. She was totally different, she was warm, selfless, kind, caring and stubborn; hardly at all hedonistic as Katherine had been, she was her opposite. She was human.
Somehow this girl had wormed his way into his heart. Somewhere down the road he stopped caring about Katherine so much.
Especially when he found out she had not been in the tomb, she had been roaming free. He had to hear this all from Pearl; her best friend. She had been free all the time! She never called once, sent a letter or left a sign for Damon; nothing she just brushed him off. As if he were some toy she was done with, she played with him until she broke him.
He had loved her with all his heart when she seemed to never care for him at all. The girl, who had comforted him; even though all he had done was kill, made smart ass remarks and caused trouble and mischief in her life was there for him, tried to talk to and comfort him.
She had saved his life once, when she could have let him die. She saved him from a vengeful vampire even though she was just human, she could have died so easily. He had caused the problem yet she helped him dodge what should have been his consequence.
Sometime during all of the events he started caring for her, more than a simple friend or how one cared for his brother's girlfriend. He had started to love her and care for all the people she cared about little by little.
Elena reminded him how to feel again, how to love and trust. More importantly love; He didn't feel as if he would ever love again, after finding about Katherine being free. He didn't think he would actually love and care for someone else besides Katherine.
Damon kept thinking back to tonight's events. He couldn't get it off his mind.
He had just stealthily headed downstairs, he didn't want to get caught by Jenna and then endure inquisition. He stopped standing in front of the door, hand on the handle.
His mind suddenly flashed back to the conversation he had between Jeremy and himself. Jeremy knew what happened to Anna and she wasn't coming back. Jeremy had this look in his face like he was in great pain, like he wanted to die too and nothing else mattered.
Damon entered Jeremy's room and headed for the doorframe which he leaned on.
"What are you doing here?" Jeremy asked suddenly with a slightly shocked 'you caught me red handed' expression when he turned around to be met with the sight of Damon.
"Anna's dead". He simply said.
"I figured that, once they took her away."
"I know you cared about her."
Jeremy swallowed. "Yea I did."
"I saw her killed." A pained expression appeared on Jeremy's face.
"I was watching and I all could think about was…I wanted to help her…but I couldn't." Damon swallowed.
After a minute Jeremy asked with sadness in his voice "Why are you telling me all of this?"
"I took away all you're suffering once before, I can do it again…but it's your choice." Damon said.
"Look..." Jeremy paused.
"I know you think you took it away…but it's still there, even if I can't remember why, I still feel empty, alone. Making me forget won't fix it…It won't fix what's really wrong." Jeremy looked even more pained than before as if he would start crying.
Damon stopped leaning on the door frame and walked up to him, entering the room. "What I did to Vicki…was wrong…sorry for my part." he said then added in a sort of whisper.
Jeremy nodded and Damon turned to leave but was stopped as Jeremy spoke up and continued.
"Anna said that vampires don't have to feel pain, that they can turn it off…They shut off their humanity." Damon couldn't identify Jeremy's tone of voice.
Damon nodded "It's very true."
"Is it easier that way?"
"Is what easier?" Damon asked with confused expression.
"Life." Jeremy stated.
"Life sucks either way, Jeremy. At least if you're a vampire, you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to." Damon swallowed.
"Is that what you did?" Jeremy asked.
"I did it for…I did it for a very long time…and life was a lot easier…" Damon stood in silence and then he walked out of the room leaving Jeremy to his thoughts and himself to his very own.
He had asked if Jeremy wanted to forget the pain again, he could take it away; compel him to forget and everything would be gone for now.
Jeremy didn't want it. He explained even though before when he was compelled and everything was better he said he felt empty, it hadn't really gone away; he still felt empty and alone even though he didn't know why.
Jeremy then said something that really called him to attention more. Jeremy told him how Anna said vampires could turn off pain and shut of their humanity.
Jeremy suddenly asked if it was easier, Damon got lost for a second from processing before the knowledge that Jeremy had acquired from Anna.
When Jeremy elaborated Damon knew exactly what to say because it didn't really matter if you were a Vampire or Human life still sucked either way; or so he had found in his experiences in both lives.
He knew in experience what happened when you turned it off, your humanity. He was a good example of it, so was Isobel.
Damon was pulled out of his thoughts as he heard a shuffle from the house, thinking it was Jenna he opened the door as quietly as he could; hearing footsteps in front of him he swiftly stepped onto the porch and closed the door.
He was met with the sight of a familiar figure with chocolate tresses and chocolate eyes to match with fair skin. However her chocolate tresses were in a fashion of disarray and she looked quite disheveled as if she had been through a long trip for an entire week. He pushed it aside though chalking it up to it being from all the events she had been through tonight as she approached him.
She simply asked with a slight amount of confusion "What are you doing here?"
Damon was silent a moment trying to gather the right words to answer her question "A failed and feeble attempt at doing the right thing."
She gave him a sort of confused look. "Which was?"
Damon walked up to her, shook his head slightly and cracked a small, small quick smile and said "It's not important."
He took the clothes and bag from her and quietly said "Let me take this for you." He set them on a chair by the door.
She simply replied "Thank you" confusion rang in her tone as she turned to face him in his new direction.
Damon turned to her and said "You know, I came into this town wanting to destroy it..tonight I- I found myself wanting to protect it." his tone was soft but slightly confused.
After a minute he said with a slight confused expression "How does that happen?" he seemed to say more to himself than her. The confusion in his voice showed more.
She went to say something but Damon spoke first. "I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good. It's not in me." He said using the same tone but the softness he knew was more evident in his voice. A strange expression came across his face and then disappeared, reverting back to the old one.
After a moment she spoke up "Maybe it is." She stated simply, raising her eyebrows for a second then relaxing them.
Damon shook his head "No… that's reserved for my brother and you and Bonnie. Even though she has a reason to hate me, still…helped…Stefan save me."
Elena shifted and said "Why do you sound so surprised?" Elena crossed her arms against her chest.
"Because she did it for you." Quickly slight shock showed on her face and eyes. Then she reverted back to her previous normal reserved expression.
Damon started walking closer and closer until he was close enough to take one more step and embrace her. A strange expression crossed her face and quickly vanished. His voice quivered slightly and he swallowed.
"Which means that, somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving…and I wanted to thank you…for that." His tone was now free of all confusion and it carried just the softness.
Elena shifted slightly again before saying "You're welcome."
After a moment he looked upon her face, leaned in and kissed her cheek putting in that one gesture of touch affection, gratitude, caring, kindness and possibly even love. He pulled back and looked deep in her warm brown eyes and looked at her face, up and down as her lips parted.
He leaned in nearing closer and closer to her lips slowly; to give her enough time to pull away. As their lips almost brushed he felt her lean in more to meet his lips.
He leaned in more as well and softly kissed her and her eyes fluttered closed and he shut his own.
The kiss got more passionate and he placed his hand on the side of her neck, his hand touching her soft chocolate tresses, he felt Elena's hand on his arm just a little below his shoulder.
It seemed to last hours and hours but Damon was shaken out of his reverie when the sound of a door being opened got Elena to break away from their kiss. He turned his head to the side as she unlatched herself from him. She let go of her grasp on his collar and Elena simply and slightly breathlessly greeted Jenna with "Hi."
Jenna replied with a slight scornful and authoritative tone "It's late…you should probably come inside."
Elena only nodded to this while Damon dropped his hand from his chin and watched Elena go around him and grab her clothes and bag. She didn't so much as glance at him.
Damon just stared at Jenna with a slightly bewildered expression and mostly a blank face as he stood their in silence; Jenna just stared wide eyed in silence her self. Elena avoided not only Damon's eyes but Jenna's as well.
He saw Jenna step back and open the door more to allow room for Elena to enter, Damon just stared until he heard the door closed; and still stared even with the door closed.
He listened in to what Jenna said using the same tone she had before "What are you doing." She stated more than asked.
He heard Elena's voice reply. "I…don't want to talk about it." then there was silence and footsteps.
Damon turned away from the door and touched his lips with still the same previous expression intact as he walked away.
Damon came back to reality; which was himself sitting on the couch in front of the fire in the den of the boarding house.
The one part that stood out was that damned kiss, he still remembered and felt; faintly, the feel of Elena's lips moving on his in sync to his own.
He couldn't shake off the feelings he felt then, they still burned strong even now; his lips burned with the ghost of the touch of her lips.
He was so damned confused! What the hell was happening was it what he thought it was? Was this feeling love?
He had built so many walls and barriers to protect himself from getting hurt, he hadn't wanted to let someone in. However Elena had gotten in his head, wormed her way through his heart and in his bloodstream, she was becoming apart of him.
She was thawing his ice cold heart, making him open up and feel again. She was with Stefan though, his brother; he had no chance.
What was the kiss though! Did she let him kiss her and kiss back because she felt something too, or to not shame him or hurt him, perhaps pity? She had said she didn't want to talk about it. Did that mean she was ashamed she kissed him back?
He was confused, mixed up and he was scared. She kept invading his senses and that one moment kept replaying in his mind and it didn't help his situation at all. At the moment he could recall every detail of what happened in that whole moment.
He laced his hands behind his head and leaned back and closed his eyes. He let himself become absorbed in the memory, how sadistic, masochistic he was at the moment. He was addicted to the memory.
His eyes snapped open in realization.
He loved Elena Gilbert, no matter how unattainable she was at the moment he loved her.
He knew that right now, that and he had the burning desire to go see her this very minute and take her, wrap his arms around her and stay that way for awhile.
God, I sound like a hopelessly love struck teenager, I'm even acquiring Stefan like tendencies.
What are you doing to me, Elena?
I need to see her now.
I need to talk to her.
Right now she can ease or worsen the emotional and mental turmoil inside of me.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed reading, also please review...especially if you would like for me to continue.
So yay or nay...to continue?
^^ Thanks for reading~
