Everything is Coming Together Nicely (Ver. 2.0)
By Magus732
One otherwise boring day on the Condor, Stork stood at the controls, desperately wishing he could find a way to shut the mouth of his companion, who sat idly at the meeting table. He was reading a book (of all things) and listening to rock on the jukebox. The music was bad enough, and the Merb could normally ignore it, but he also had to deal with the out-of-tune accompaniment coming from the table. Something inside the pilot suddenly snapped.
"Finn, could you please turn that down!? It's driving me crazy!"
"I know! Isn't it great, Stork!?" The sharpshooter called back, obviously oblivious to his friend's plea. Stork screamed at the top of his lungs, switched on the autopilot, and casually walked over to the offending machine. He unceremoniously unplugged it, grabbed the record from the turntable, chucked the cursed disc out the window, and returned to the controls, whistling nonchalantly as he walked. The inner turmoil, bubbling just below the surface, threatened to erupt. And, in his typical way, Finn wanted an explanation for his actions.
"Dude, what the hell is your problem!? Do you know how much that thing cost me!?" The blond demanded. He stared angrily as Stork shrugged with indifference.
"I was tired of listening to it." The Merb reported flatly.
"I was just trying to get a little pep goin'. Atmos knows you need to loosen up." He retorted angrily. The pilot glared at him.
"Next time, kindly leave me out of any 'pepping' you want to do." He turned back to the controls, taking them off autopilot.
"Look, buddy, I didn't want to say this, but you have a serious attitude problem. Did your mother treat you like crap or something?" The sharpshooter had just cut too deep.
"Why you-!?" He leapt over to Finn, putting him in a headlock and squeezing with all his might. As the blond fought back, neither of them noticed the Condor's sudden nosedive toward the Wastelands.
"How dare you ask me that, you bastard! I've always been the butt of your jokes and pranks, and I've had it!" He began moving toward the window through which he had ejected Finn's record.
"W-wait, Stork! What're you doin'!?" Finn's eyes flashed with panic as the Merb slowly opened the window with his foot, and began trying to push him out, without saying another word. Stork suddenly laughed insanely.
"Who's funny now, Finn!?" Finn managed to break free of his surprisingly strong grip just long enough to see Stork's face. His eyes had grown huge, and he had an evil grin plastered on. The Merb drew closer as Finn backed away scaredly.
"Stork, buddy! It's me, Finn! You don't really wanna hurt me, do ya!?" He pleaded, to no avail. The pilot's insane laugh returned, but the other Storm Hawks, previously oblivious to the goings on, entered the bridge. They let out a loud gasp as the Wastelands filled the front window.
"Guys, what's going on!? Who's flying the Condor!?" Aerrow demanded. Suddenly snapping back to reality, Stork rushed over to the controls, managed to avoid crashing into several spires as he pulled up, and brought the ship back level. He restored the autopilot, and turned to look over at the others, who were glaring at him angrily.
"Stork, you could've killed us!" Piper declared.
"Don't look at me! It was Cheerleader Boy over there... kept distracting me... you're all... all distracting me..." He began to mumble unintelligibly, and Aerrow walked over to see what was going on.
"Stork, buddy, you ok? You don't sound too good..." He reached out to lay his hand on the Merb's shoulder, only to recoil as Stork zipped over into a corner.
"Stay away! Don't touch me!" His eye twitched furiously, and the others shared a look of concern as they slowly got closer.
"Stork, it's okay... we're not gonna hurt you..." Junko added helpfully.
"I think you need to go lay down, Stork... you're starting to freak us out..." Piper drew the closest, and when she stretched out her hand to help the pilot up, he promptly bit her. Hard.
"Ow!!!" She screamed, recoiling back in agony. Stork, laughing hysterically, bolted out the bridge door, his laughter echoing down the hallway after him.
"Um... what just happened?" Finn suddenly cut in. Piper shook her head.
"I have no idea. I've never seen him this way." She looked down at her hand, hoping that, as it swelled a bit, she wasn't now infected with something deadly. Whatever could catch Stork could catch them all, and she shuddered at the thought of an outbreak of... whatever it was he had.
"C'mon, Piper... let's get your hand taken care of..." Aerrow offered.
"It's okay... I'm fine... Stork, on the other hand..." Her thought was finished by another fit of hysterical laughter from down the hallway, followed by a soft mumbling.
"Maybe he's finally lost it..." Junko said. Radarr simply shrugged; even if he had something to offer, they wouldn't understand him anyway.
"You think he might have caught something?" Aerrow asked, looking at Piper's hand worriedly.
"I don't know. I think we better get him to a hospital."
"Yeah, but which one?" Junko looked worried, but perhaps for the wrong reason.
"A mental institute." Finn said jokingly. He received a glare from the group in response.
"What? I'm just sayin'..." He looked down sadly, almost hurt that no one thought it was funny.
"Let me consult my maps... then we can figure out where to go..." Another sharp, abrupt burst of laughter filled the room from the hallway. Although the door was now closed, they could still hear him mumbling madly.
"I just hope we're not too late..."
Author's Note: Yeah, I decided to revive this story... it now has that new story smell... you don't want to know what it smelled like before... :)