It was reaping day for the 75th Quarter Quell. Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch stood on stage. Peeta had just volunteered to take the place of Haymitch and go into the arena with Katniss.
In front of the crowd stood Katniss's mother and sister. In Mrs. Everdeen's arms was Sawyer Mellark, Katniss and Peeta's infant son.
Sawyer was three months old. It was now up to Prim and her mom to look after the child, since both parents were headed back to the arena. Hazelle Hawthorne was also willing to help look after the tiny boy. Peeta's family wanted little to do with him.
Only Peeta's father acknowledged the baby's existence. He came to visit his grandson at least once a week, on the sly. His wife had forbidden him from seeing Sawyer, but he refused to disown Peeta for falling in love with a Seam girl and refused to deny the existence of their child.
No one knew if either would ever make it home again. What everyone did know was that there would be only one victor. At least one, maybe both, would be killed in the arena.
Mrs Everdeen and Prim both raised their left arm with the middle three fingers extended, and the rest of the district quickly followed. As if on cue, Sawyer began to whimper.
Up on stage, Commander Thread grabbed Katniss's arm, just as her son was beginning to cry louder.
"New procedure. Straight to the train."
"I get to say goodbye!", protested Katniss, but he started pulling her into the Justice Building. Her eyes were locked on Sawyer. She needed to hold her baby one more time before she left, possibly to never return. She pulled towards the door as hard as she could, trying to break free, but Thread had a death grip on her. She reached her hand out in the direction of her mother, sister and son.
Several women in the crowd gasped as they witnessed the young mother being yanked away from her child. Many began to cry, empathizing with Katniss's maternal instincts. All over the crowd, mothers and fathers grabbed their children tighter as they helplessly watched the tragedy unfold.
"I get to say goodbye!", Katniss protested again, this time louder and more frantic. It was no use.
"Sawyer!" She tried again to pull away from Thread. Her protest was loud, ringing out over the entire district square. "I get to say goodbye!"
"Not this time." Thread grabbed her by both arms. Just before she was pulled away completely, Katniss called out one last time.
"Sawyer! Mom, please take care of him! Please!" Then her family was out of sight.
Peeta was also pulled by two peacekeepers into the building before being able to say goodbye to his son. But he was able to quickly yell a goodbye.
"Sawyer! Daddy loves you! Bye!"
Both Katniss and Peeta were shoved into the back of a car and taken straight to the train, where peacekeepers quickly walked them right on board. Then the doors slammed shut, and the engine started up. Both stood at the window gazing in the direction of where their son was.
Katniss rested her head against the window as sobs shook her body, and her tears fell on the train floor. Her legs gave out and she fell against the wall.
Peeta put his arms around her, and the two of them cried together for the son they may never see again.
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Outside the building, Mrs Everdeen hugged Sawyer tightly to her chest as he wailed for his mother. Prim clung to her arm and cried. Gale put his arm around both of them and silently hoped for a miracle that would bring both parents back home. But even as the thought formed in his mind, he knew it wouldn't happen.
Mrs Everdeen, Prim and Sawyer started walking back to the Victor's Village with Gale at their side so the baby could be fed. In anticipation of her departure, Katniss had purchased three goats, one male and two female, and Prim still had her own goat, Lady. This ensured there would be enough goat's milk to feed the baby in her absence.
Prim wrapped Sawyer in an old shirt of Katniss's, so he would have the scent of his mother, and sat in the rocking chair Peeta placed in their kitchen. Mrs Everdeen heated a bottle of goat's milk in warm water, and handed it to her. The rocking chair was where Katniss had always sat when she fed Sawyer.
As Prim watched the boy suck on the bottle, tears streamed down her face. She remembered how Katniss had sung to him everyday. Her voice shook as she began to sing the meadow song.
Deep in the meadow
Under the willow
A bed of grass
A soft green pillow
Lay down your head
And close your eyes
Then when you wake
The sun will rise
There you'll be safe
There you'll be sound
Then when you wake
The dark will have gone
After laying the baby in his crib, which was now in Mrs Everdeen's room instead of the home Peeta and Katniss had shared, they sat down to eat leftover stew. It didn't take long for both to realize they weren't hungry, so Prim took the stew to a family whose father had just died in a mining accident.
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Back on the train, the couple sat at a dining table, staring at their plates. Peeta looked up at Katniss, ready to tell her she needed to eat so she could nourish their baby. It was his habit for the last eleven months to make sure she ate, first to sustain her pregnancy and then to feed their son. Just before the words came out, he caught himself. She was no longer breastfeeding. It wasn't as crucial anymore that she eat. As this realization sunk in, he tossed his fork on the plate and leaned forward, pressing his hands to his face.
No one at the table spoke. Katniss picked up the little glass bottle she wore around her neck, and looked at the tiny lock of Sawyer's hair inside it. It was all she had of him. Peeta wore an identical necklace around his neck, also with a lock of his son's hair contained in it. Effie had gotten the necklaces for them from the Capital after the announcement of the Quell.
Katniss thought back over the events of the last year that had led up to now.
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It was their first night back in the tribute building after their first games. Katniss had wandered the penthouse for an hour, unable to shake from her mind the image of Rue with a spear in her gut. She finally walked out to the roof and stared out over the Capital, blankly watching the city life below. Peeta walked up beside her.
"Can't sleep, either?", Katniss asked.
"No, of course not."
She laid her head on his shoulder, and his arm went around her.
"Maybe we'd sleep better together", Katniss wondered aloud. "I slept better next to you in the arena."
"Let's go to your room, then." Peeta took her by the hand and they walked back to her room. He stripped down to his boxers and laid down under the blankets. Katniss put on a knee-length nightgown on in her bathroom and laid down next to him, resting her head on his chest. Peeta's arm went around her and they both laid quietly in the dark. Before long, both fell asleep.
A few hours later, Peeta woke with a start. He'd had a nightmare that Cato had pulled Katniss down off the Cornucopia and they'd both been eaten by mutts. Seeing her asleep on his chest, safe and sound, he started to relax just a little.
Katniss started rocking back and forth in her sleep and whimpering.
"No, no, no…"
Peeta shook her shoulder, but she wouldn't wake up.
"I volunteer, I volunteer…"
Peeta shook her shoulder again. "Katniss, wake up! It's just a nightmare."
Her eyes opened, and she looked around, frantic.
"Where's Prim?"
"She's ok, Katniss, she's home with your mom."
As she began to wake up, she looked around more and remembered where she was.
"You're right, she's home." Katniss laid her head back on Peeta's chest. She listened to his steady heartbeat. Running her hand over his chest and belly, she smiled as his heartbeat sped up. Raising up her head, she leaned in and kissed him on the lips.
Peeta instantly returned the kiss, and she turned to face him, her fingers tangling themselves in his hair. His hands moved up her back and rested on her shoulders, pulling her closer. They had spent many a moment kissing in that cave during the games. This was nothing new.
Katniss deepened the kiss, her tongue pushing into Peeta's mouth. He turned her onto her back, their mouths still locked together.
Finally, they broke apart, gazing at each other and catching their breath. Peeta was leaning over her, and Katniss's fingers were still entwined in his curls.
"Peeta, I want this. I want you."
"Katniss, are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
As they made love, they stared into each other's eyes as the intensity built until they both cried out in release. Then they fell back to sleep, Katniss's head once again on his chest listening to his racing heartbeat return to normal.
The next morning at the breakfast table, Haymitch smirked as he asked if they slept well. Apparently, the penthouse had thin walls. Both blushed as Katniss answered that they had. Effie shook her head at them, but stayed quiet when Haymitch shot her a look and shook his head to discourage her from chiding them.
Every night following, they fell asleep together after making love. Katniss began to wonder if she could fall asleep without Peeta at her side.
They didn't talk about their relationship, but they seemed to have an agreement. After returning home, they always spent the night together, either at Peeta's house or at Katniss's. When they were at Katniss's home, Mrs Everdeen said nothing about what was quite obviously going on between them. She heard the muffled sounds, but would just quietly raise her eyebrows at Katniss in the morning, which Katniss ignored.
After two weeks, Katniss announced she was moving in with Peeta. It wasn't up for debate, which she made clear and Mrs Everdeen didn't object.
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A loud rap on the table startled Katniss out of her thoughts. Haymitch was glaring at her.
"Effie was trying to talk to you."
"Sorry, Effie.", Katniss answered quietly. "I was thinking about Sawyer."
Effie smiled sadly, nodding her head. Her own children were grown but she couldn't imagine having been separated from them like this when they were babies. She reached over and rested her hands on Katniss's for a moment.
"You two have your necklaces, I have my hair, and Haymitch will get a gold chain of some kind. That will mark us as a team that won't easily be broken apart."
Peeta nodded and put his arm around Katniss. "Sounds good."
Katniss also nodded at Effie. "Thank you."
While the four of them watched the reapings in the other districts, Katniss's thoughts drifted back to when she realized she was pregnant.
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It was a month since they'd been back home, six weeks after they'd first spent the night together. Katniss had woken up in Peeta's arms, as usual, but she was nauseated and barely made it to the toilet before vomiting.
After her stomach was empty, she rested her head on the side of the tub and tried to remember when she'd gotten her last period. It wasn't like her to be nauseous or throw up. She gasped as she realized it was just before the reaping.
Katniss began to panic as she realized she had other symptoms, too. Her breasts were sore, lots of different foods gave her heartburn and she had to pee all the time. She never used to get heartburn, this was something new.
When Peeta woke up an hour later, she was still sitting on the bathroom floor, dazed and panicked.
"Katniss, are you ok?"
She raised her head off the tub side and looked at him, tears running down her face.
"I'm pregnant, Peeta!"
Peeta froze. After a few moments, the initial look of shock was replaced by determination and resolve. He sat down next to Katniss and started rubbing her back.
"It's gonna be ok, Katniss. We'll be parents, and we'll raise our child together."
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Peeta's tapping her knee insistently brought Katniss back to the present. He was looking at her sadly.
"Thinking about Sawyer again?"
Katniss nodded, unable to form words.
"So was I. It's almost to us." Peeta pointed towards the tv broadcasting cuts of each district's reaping.
Katniss watched as her name was called, then Haymitch's name was called and Peeta volunteered. Her hand flew over her mouth and she began to cry as she watched herself being pulled away from Sawyer and her frantic efforts to get to him.
The two of them sat and watched as events unfolded they hadn't been witness to. They saw their fellow citizens looking heartbroken as they watched Katniss and Peeta being pulled from their son. Many even cried, and all over the crowd, parents pulled their own children closer.
As Katniss and Peeta were yanked out of the range of the camera, a woman yelled out.
"Let them say goodbye to their baby, for crying out loud!"
Another woman also chimed in with her. "They should hold their boy one more time! This is inhumane!"
Soon voices of hundreds of citizens could be heard, protesting on Peeta and Katniss's behalf.
The peacekeepers pulled out their batons and began randomly beating whoever was in their way as they ran into the crowd. Screams could be heard as children, adults and elderly alike were ruthlessly beaten. People started running towards their homes, many injured.
Katniss was in shock as she watched. So was Peeta. Thankfully, both their families had somehow escaped the onslaught. Peeta's family had turned to leave immediately, and was gone before the violence started.
Gale had led Mrs Everdeen and Prim towards home right away, as well, as he signaled to Hazelle to also leave immediately. As Katniss watched, she wondered if he'd sensed something was about to happen. She felt grateful that he'd gotten her mother and sister and especially Sawyer to safety.
Her mom and Prim would probably be treating injured fellow citizens for days, she realized. Hopefully, Hazelle would be available to help with the baby.
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Just after Prim had left to deliver the stew, the first injured people started arriving. By the time she returned, over twenty-five people were there awaiting their help. Mrs Everdeen was already hard at work.
Prim immediately washed her hands and started helping to treat the many injured, referring the worst straight to her mom.
They stitched up cuts and gashes, placed ice packs on bruises, healed broken spirits and gave herbal concoctions for pain until late in the night.
Hazelle had come and was caring for Sawyer, knowing she would be needed. She stayed until the last person had left, with the baby boy sleeping soundly in his crib.
As Mrs Everdeen and Prim watched her leave, the sun was coming up. They were grateful for her help, and had sent her home with a large parcel of food. Their duties had taken all night, but they wouldn't have it any other way. They both laid down, hoping to catch a few winks before Sawyer woke up again. More injured people were bound to show up throughout the day. Thankfully, it was summer and Prim didn't have to think about school.
Hazelle came around noon, and more wounded citizens started coming soon after. Prim was sent out to purchase more supplies from the merchant shops. Bandages, sutures and herbs were in short supply at their home, so she quickly bought out as much supplies as she could.
The merchant at the textile store had been treated himself, the night before, and gave the needed white cotton for bandages free of charge. The apothecary also refused to take any money for the sutures and herbs he handed to Prim.
Prim raced home, arms full of bundles, and along the way met Rory, who took half the packages himself and followed her. The front room was full, so while Prim started treating everyone she could, he started helping. He opened packages, boiled water, cut bandages and helped hold people's injured arms and legs while their wounds were being treated.
Once again, it was well into the night and nearly dawn before everyone had been treated. The vicious peacekeepers had left injuries on so many people.
The next day was the same all over again. And the next. In total, Prim and Mrs Everdeen treated over 300 people, with Rory's help, all injured in the beatings after the reaping.
Gale brought back healing herbs for them from the woods whenever he could steal away. Hazelle continued to help with Sawyer while the Everdeens were busy being the district healers.
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After watching the reaping, Katniss and Peeta had laid down in his room on the train, but both knew they wouldn't sleep. Both were used to listening for Sawyer's cries, and the silence in their room felt ominous. Even the sounds of the train didn't fill the void. Neither slept, not even a little.
The next morning, they emerged from his room with bags under their eyes and downtrodden spirits. They spent breakfast once again silently pushing food around on their plates. Katniss wondered how Sawyer was fairing, and longed to have him in her arms. Before she knew it, tears were spilling onto her breakfast, and Peeta pulled her closer to him, keeping his arm around her.
"I miss him, too."
"He won't even remember us, Peeta!" Katniss cried harder as this tragic and likely true revelation sunk in. Peeta closed his eyes to fight off the tears, but they came anyway.
Haymitch looked at the two of them, and poured himself another drink. Effie watched him, forever disgusted with his alcoholism. But a moment later, she poured herself a drink, too. Haymitch watched with amazement as she drank it down.
He smirked at her. "Didn't think you had it in you, Trinket!"
"How could any sane person watch this little family being torn apart and not need a drink?"
"I know." Haymitch stared at his one-fourths full glass for a moment, then drank it down in one gulp. Then he poured another for himself and for Effie. The two drank them down immediately.
Katniss and Peeta were still crying in each other's arms, completely oblivious to their mentor and escort.
Haymitch stood up and turned to Effie, extending a hand out to her. "Well… shall we?"
Effie gave him a knowing smile, then jumped up and followed him to his room. It was how they managed every year, watching helplessly as their tributes were killed. There was no love or romance involved. Just a raw, primal thirst for each other, driven by the need to escape the tragedies the two shared every year. This year, the pain they were witness to was the worst ever, seeing the two teens being torn from their son, so their need for each other was even more intense.
Hours later, they emerged from Haymitch's room to find Katniss and Peeta still in the same spot and still crying together. Effie was thankful they didn't see her smudged make-up or lopsided hair. In fact, she doubted they knew her and Haymitch were even in the room with them. For the hundredth time that day, she internally raged at the cruelty of the Capital.