I have finally come to a conclusion about you. Your an enigma, something mysterious that I was to never figure out, just indure. Something that was sent to me to test my emotional strength and see how long I could keep up with the emotions I held within me that seemed so river like. They flowed so easily and smoothly you would never know they were there. They expressed themselves with out me knowing, changing quickly making me ask myself why I felt what I did. Your the one changing those emotions from a calm flowing river into a raging sea, that if im not careful will allow me to drown without a moments hesitation.
I was walking down the street as cars flew by with speed that would rival a cheetah. I looked down at the side walk, while bouncing the orange ball that reminded me so much of you. As the ball came upward from hiting the ground it would spin under my finger tips, like the way you would tease me with your feather like kisses. Soon, just like your kisses, the ball decended to the ground leaving my fingertips bare and alone till it came back up and occupied them once more. I concentrated on the pounding the ball made, not wanting to think about you, but alas i couldn't stop my mind from wandering to the one called my boyfriend. We had been together for a month and two weeks now, and just got back in contact from not talking to eachother for a month since I was in New York and he in Florida. I let my mind wander farther into the sea of emotions I was feeling for you, how I was so close to being consumed by sorrow, and how you would never know. Every time you would be to busy to talk or you would stand me up because something came up, my sea of sorrow would rise higher and higher.
Only thing keeping me from drowning is the hope that I have everyday that you will call or come to me, and yet every day have that hope crushed into tiny fragments not even the smallest person with the best eye site in the world could locate. Soon the floor started to darken from the raindrops that fell. The sky seemed to represent me in a way how it cried letting the world know its sorrow and yet, stop as quickly as it happened, changing into a sun shine filled day to cover its pain. Something I do everyday, when people ask about you and how you are, I put on a smile and say your great and everythings great, when really it needs improvement.
Luckily this is something only few know. Only few know how I feel for you and only few know that I cry from missing you, but what few don't know is that I love you and its the price i pay to say your mine and im yours. I just wish you would know, i just wish I could tell you.