The Squirrel Apocalypse

Squirrels are insane little animals. They have rabies, you know. They chase people and bite them.

Everyone thinks that they're little chihuahas, until they get close, and then the squirrel bites them. And they take 'em to the pound. Then they bite all the psychotic cats and doggies, and the psychotic cats and doggies become vampires.

Then, the vampire doggies and the psychotic kitties hunt people down in the streets and kill them. The vampire kitties don't kill me though, they just activate my allergies.

So, the psychotic kitties and doggies kill everyone, and and up ruling the world. They make the Squirrel King of the World. But the Squirrel goes insane and kills everyone, 'cept one doggie. The doggie eats the squirrel, and then the doggie rules the world.

Until the penguins incite a rebellion, that is. Then the world becomes penguin-dominated.

The penguins rule the world, and make everyone else their slaves.

And there would be much rejoicing... by the penguins, at least.

It *could* happen, you know, and it would all be on account of the squirrel and the idiot that thought it was chihuahua.

So remember that, the next time you see a squirrel and a fat little lady walking toward it, babbling in spanish and waving a taco.

It might be the beginning of the end.

I realize that only a few people know about this, so I decided to write a fanfic about it, to warn the citizens of the world about this horrible crisis-in-the-making.

What you are reading now *is* this fic. I call it "The Squirrel Apocalypse," and it'll be the prettiest pig at the fair.

Yes, squirrels frighten me.

I find the song "Blue" by Eiffel 65 frightening as well. It's annoying, irritating, monotonous, and utterly addicting.

I have had that CD turned off for a while now, and I cannot resist the temptation to play it again.

::sings:: I'm blue! Dah bah dee, dah bah die, dah bah dee, dah bah die...

Curse you, Josh, for bringing this CD into my home and leaving it here!

Yes, evil Josh, he must be scolded.

Although, Josh *did* let me borrow his Savage Garden CD, so he isn't completely evil.

Oh, and it's NOT that I'm insane, and it's not that I'm paranoid. It's just that I was chased in the hallway at school today by a rabid lemming. It tried to kill me, and that's why I'm scared...

Yep, yep, ye- ::is interrupted as several men in white coats rush in and drag him away::

Ooh... look! The men in white coats let me drink from my arm, through a straw! And I travel to... the future!

::wakes up eight hours later::

THE FUTURE!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-coughcoughcough-HAHA-cough!