D lands himself with a wild ride and a lot of pretty devil's horses.

Foreword: This is a collection of one-shots and each chapter can be read independently, some might not be rated T but I'll warn you at the beginning of the chapter. I blame this first story on a guy that likes to push the envelope; it's nice sometimes, but on occasions he can be taxing. He was third-degreeing me over a cup of coffee about the path I'd dare not tread but have considered. I'm a snake in the Chinese horoscope and, therefore, slippery so I managed to avoid a straightforward answer. But he got me thinking. Red, here's your answer. Oh and the guy was born in the year of the horse.

Pet shop of Horrors

Dragonfly

赤蜻蛉(The red dragonfly-)
かれも夕が(In some way or another)
好じゃやら(He likes the evening too)
By the XVIII century Japanese poet: Issa (一茶).

María de las Mercedes, Mer for her friends, was born in the year of the horse at the hour of the tiger; she gave her mother a 30 hrs labor and, the minute the good lady had set her blood shot eyes on her, she had known this child would be a wild one. Mer had bewitched her father with a wink and a blubbering smile, she had him in her grasp ever since. He was the first of many; by the time being with her was no longer a felony, she had a long list of broken hearts behind her.

This girl had never known true opposition and thought 'No' meant she just had to work harder to get her way. Her parents had given up on trying to hold the reins of this fast running pure blood; her brother was two years her senior and was an optimist, so he had picked up the baton and was doing the best he could.

Bruno was the only man that gave to Mer with no strings attached that was why she loved her brother dearly. That's also the reason why -when his pet got sick- she was willing to move mountains to help him. She actually hated the little creature that disputed her sibling's affection. It was an ugly Xoloescuintle, some sort of Prehispanic bold rat that was allegedly a dog. One day it had stopped eating and Bruno was wasting away with the slip of life he adored.

Veterinarians hadn't worked so Bruno was ready to try anything. That was good because one of Mer's acquaintances had suggested a very unconventional alternative. They walked to Chinatown, to some dingy Pet Shop looking for a man that was said to be the answer to their prayers.

"That's a man?!" Bruno's skepticism was well justified. He or she, who the hell knows, was of light built, wore a lovely kimono, had a silky black bob, long fingernails and the most intriguing pair of mismatched eyes. Mer thought: 'Who cares? This D person is gorgeous'.

He claimed he was male and a Count, of all things. Mer was immediately infatuated with the guy. She had put on her best smile and raised a coquettish eyebrow. That usually was enough to bring them to their knees, but this creep ignored her and went straight for the rat.

"Look at you, poor dear. What has gotten into you?" he had asked in a tender tone. Teoxihuitl was a nasty bitch that didn't allowed anyone but Bruno to touch her; so Mer was expecting her to bite the guy. But, nope… the bitch melted in his hands whining and waving her tail. Can't blame her, not even the bitch was immune to this guy's charm.

Bruno looked hopefully towards the guy and said: "She stopped eating about two weeks ago. No one can explain why. The doctors say there's nothing physically wrong with her. Can you help her?"

D looked at Bruno with his golden eye. "You really love her."

That was a rhetorical question but Bruno had nodded emphatically.

D carried on: "Your little Turquoise is perfectly fine. She is just scared."

Mer blinked: "Wow! That's odd. Very few people know that's what its name means. It's Nahuatl, the ancient Mexicans language. Come to think of it, we never mentioned it. How did you know that's the dog's name?"

He looked at Mer with his violet eye: "This... lady, is to blame."

"What? He's lying, Bruno. You know I don't give a damn about that thing, I barely look at it. I won't lose my time given it frights."

"That's not what she tells me."

"This man is nuts. I mean, he claims he hears the dog speaking to him. What is it telling you? That you have to kill someone or buy a new dress?"

"Teoxihuitl says that you told her she was been fed for slaughter," D said looking at Mer with disgust while he began burning some incense.

"That's not true", the lie came out of her lips without a pause but Mer had blushed. The incense was making her feel dizzy. That's why, instead of keeping her mouth shut, she kept talking: "I… I didn't mean it that way… I just said that in prehispanic times they ate them. And that's true… I… Bruno…" The incense was making her nauseous, she had to sit down.

Bruno looked at her disapprovingly, then he picked up his rat and stared at its eyes: "My lovely jewel, I would never let anyone harm you."

The bitch batted her eyelids and licked his nose. He left without looking back.

Mer was in shock, she couldn't breathe. After a minute or so, she finally rised from the sit. She lounged towards D with clenched fists. But, before she could slap him silly, a bat winged bunny came between them. There were a lot of weird beasties there that she hadn't noticed before. Were their shadows elongating, taking on human form or was she having a hallucination? She didn't stay long enough to find out. Mer threw D a contemptuous look and left with her head held high. She bumped into a dumb blond that had ogled her breast and whistled. He had ended up paying for D's sins, Mer slapped him.

"What's wrong with that broad?" asked Leo rubbing his cheek.

"My dear detective Orcot, one would think you're used to getting slapped by now. Especially considering you refer to ladies with the word broad. But, for once, your instincts are right. That woman means trouble. People seldom understand how hard it is to sell dreams…" said D starting the diatribe he always used when he wanted to imply that nothing was wrong in his little Chinatown Pet Shop.

Leon Orcot interrupted him, he had listened to the discourse a hundred times and he wasn't buying: "That gal should get in line. I mean trouble for you too. I'm here because the Chief wants us to look at some claims of a man eating ferret on the loose. Of course, the first place that came to mind was your little shop of horrors…"

"I know nothing of the matter," said D as he escorted Leo towards the door.

"I brought cake," said the detective dangling the box of one of the most famous bakers in town.

"Oh then, my dear detective, come in and we'll have some tea."

Mer had lain in bed for two days. She couldn't eat and wouldn't sleep. To make it all worst, her brother hadn't come to visit, and she heard him speaking with their father in the hallway: "She's a little brat. She's throwing a tantrum and she's too old for that to be cute."

Her grandmother had the theory Mer had finally fallen in love. Bruno snorted: "She's too self-centered for that."

Yet, she didn't blame Bruno, no -she blamed that blasted Chinese crossdresser. Anger was good, at least it got her out of bed. She looked at her reflection and thought she looked dreadful. The gal in the mirror said: 'What do you expected after two days of crying your heart out?' Mer nodded and answered: 'I'm done with that, and purposeless anger is no good either. That little man doesn't know what he's up against. I'm getting revenge. I'm making him beg for it and then I'm leaving him weeping with his butt on the sidewalk.'

She had convinced three ex's, beefy and not too smart, to act as her wrath's instrument. D was meaner than his flowery kimonos presaged. He had finished the guys without breaking a sweat. Mer had to eat a couple of pints of chocolate ice-cream before she calmed down enough to realize that revenge is a plate best served cold. She thought: 'OK, time to change strategy. It's my fault really, you don't send a guy to do a gal's job. There's always a short-cut to get under anyone's skin. I just need to find what this bastard's is.'

The answer came after a few days of stake-out outside the Pet Shop: Sweet. That man was eating enough sweet to give himself a diabetic comma. Mer smiled: 'Well, I'm giving him the final shove.'

Count D was a real gourmet, he liked his desserts exotic and expensive. One can't spurge on a vendetta, so Mer had seduced the M's Hotel confectioner chef. Turns out she was quite the muse; the guy felt inspired and created the Mercedes' silver wings. The name was corny and the chef was too clingy, but the dessert promised to be good and Mer put up with the guy until he came up with a prototipe.

She was ready to rumble. She dressed for the kill, picked up the small rose and white box and left for the battlefield. D didn't seem happy to see her back at his door.

'Good, let the bastard suffer.' She strived to look innocent, not an easy task considering the outfit she was wearing, and said: "I'm so sorry for my behavior the last time we met. It was lamentable; so I brought this to make amends."

His nostrils flapped and she could swear he had moaned.

'Got you!'

He was pouring jasmine tea in a delicate cup when Mer made her move: "I'm thinking of getting me a pet… Any suggestions?" She lowered her eyes, uncrossed her long legs, stretched them, kick out one of her sandals and stopped with her naked foot a few inches from his.

He was looking at her face with a creepy smile; the smile made her tremble and not all of it was fear. "Well, Miss…"

"Yeah right, we haven't been properly introduced. You may call me Mer, all my friends do."

"Then Miss Mer, I fear my shop is unable to meet your requirements."

"Oh, I'm very easy to please."

"Still, I don't think we cater what you crave. In fact, I see no reason to make you lose your time. I think it is best that you leave."

He had taken her by the arm and escorted her out the door.

Mer stood befuddle on the sidewalk, holding one sandal in her hand and tried to process what had just happened: 'He kicked me out! That freak kicked me out from his lousy shop.' She tore her dress and was ready to shout: Rape! When she thought it better: 'He probably doesn't like girls. I mean, with the way he looks, no one would doubt it. That's the only logical explanation.'

Again she bumped into the blond.

Leo didn't recognized her. He just saw the torn dress and asked: "Miss, are you alright?"

Mer recognized him, saw the candy boxes he was carrying and yelled: "Get away from me! You disgusting fag," while she ran away.

Leo shook his head as he entered the Pet Shop: "D, you surround yourself with basket cases. That chick is wacko. What's her problem?"

Count D sighed: "I really don't think even she knows. I just hope she doesn't become my problem."

Mer was beside herself. She couldn't believe she had actually found an insurmountable obstacle. She wasn't one to give up, though. She paced up and down her bedroom, thinking: 'There has to be something this guy wants that I can give, something I can use as leverage. I just have to find out what it is.'

The answer came by chance and by the happy circumstance she had been playing stake-out outside his door day and night for a couple of weeks. One night the Count came out wearing a flowing dark robe. He had left his shop through the window and his dark silhouette appeared briefly against the full moon. Then he started jumping on the rooftops like some crazy martial arts movie. There was no chance of following him without a helicopter, so she waited. Mer was falling asleep inside her car. She decided to go out and she waited trembling in the cold till he came back. The dawn was playing in Technicolor when he finally did and the answer to the conundrum was dripping from the corner of his lips.

When she came back home her house was in an upheaval. Her parents were hysteric and her brother was angry beyond words. Well, no quite beyond words, as soon as she crossed the door he began interrogating her: "Where have you been? Why didn't you phone?"

"Oh, so now you're interested in me again. What happened? Did your precious pooch elope with a stray?"

"Mer, we were worried."

Bruno did look worried and Mer loved him, so she answered trying to lie as little as reasonably possible: "I went to see a friend. But he was out and I waited for him. I lost track of the time and he didn't show up until dawn."

He looked at her: "Are you ok?"

Mer shrugged: "I'm fine. It's nothing serious," she signaled the bump in the head she had gotten hitting the door's lintel when she had seen what Count D really was: "I just need some sleep." After a little convincing, he let her go.

Mer's head was too full with thoughts to allow for disconnection. She turned around and around in her bed. Finally, she fixed her eyes on the girl in the mirror and asked: 'Why do you want to do this? And spare me the revenge crap. You want revenge, then go pay someone to torch the place and be done with it. This is dangerous. So then: why are you doing this?'

Her reflection answered: 'I don't know. But I'm going through with it. I'm not a quitter.'

At least in that she was right, she never knew when to quit. The night she went to confront the blood-drinking Count, she didn't bother with fancy dresses. She wore her oldest jeans and her favorite t-shirt, the one with a kitten lying on the beach that said Copurrtone.

She knocked the door feeling like a sleepwalker.

He answered the door opening but at crack and said: "If you come to apologize again, I graciously accept."

He held his hand out, awaiting for the cake he thought Mer had brought. But this time there was no gift. He was closing the door on her nose when Mer slip a foot and prevented him from doing it. Still, he didn't ask her in. Mer went to the quick: "I'm not here to apologize. I'm here to talk about your little drinking problem."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I think you do. I also think the cops might be interested to know about it. I mean, with all the weird murders that've been going on lately. And then there's also the Inquirer. I bet that'd be a good cover."

He didn't answer but let her in. While he poured a cup of jasmine tea he said: "So tell me, Miss Mer. What is it that you want?"

"For starters, a cup of coffee. I hate tea."

He stood up and went to the kitchen.

Mer grabbed the knife he had used to cut the cake, it was really pointy. She bit her lip and half closed her eyes while she cut the crook of her arm. She cut deep and the blood started dripping down to her hand. The shop's creatures went wild.

"What do you think you're doing?" he came back wearing an apron and a terrified look on his face.

She walked towards him.

He took a backwards step.

Mer licked the crook of her arm and said: "It's really sweet. I think it would be rude to let it spill on the carpet."

He stood there like a deer blinded by the front lights of a truck.

Mer kept walking towards D and when she reached him, she said: "Care for a taste?"

His eyes evened into a dark blue when he went for her arm. He started suckling and Mer had to lean against him. Oh my, under the kimono he was definitely male. He made his way to her throat. She let her head fall backwards and she let her hand hung from her side. The blood was staining the floor and the beasties were restless.

He smelled like incense. Once more Mer was feeling dizzy. She breathed in and looked around. They weren't alone. The weirdest crowd had walked in. Under other circumstances Mer may have not minded, but now she ordered curtly: "Out!"

He agreed. He carried her down a long hallway, far longer than was possible in a small shop nested between two buildings in a corner of Chinatown. He stopped in front of a door and opened it. They were on the shore of a big pond. He laid her against a weeping willow, took off her shirt and unclasped her bra. He was taking off the kimono while Mer wondered how a pond could fit inside the little shop. But she got distracted when he went for her breast. Mer was now bleeding from her neck, arm and chest.

She was emptying on the grass, but he was filling her elsewhere so she didn't complain. He kissed her and she tasted her own copper in his mouth. She gasped and the world went blank. She was floating. She actually was above them both. She felt a flutter of fear and shook her mane. She knew she was dying.

"Such a pity" she told him while she rubbed her snout against his cheek, "you might have been the only one I'd have let lock me inside a stall."

He looked back at her and caressed her long neck. His eyes were back to normal: "Look at what you've made me do."

She neighed: "There are no regrets."

She was beating her hoofs in retreat when he grabbed her by the hind leg and brought her down. It was cold and it hurt. She snorted flapping her lips and kicked. She wasn't staying in that particular stall.

He hushed her and with a pass of his hand, like a magician taking out a rabbit from a hat, he produced a flute out from thin air. No sound came out of it when he blew it. But Mer heard a buzzing. She looked around and saw it was coming from a cloud of dragonflies. She kicked harder, trying to leave the body where she was trapped. She was terrified of bugs.

He laid her on her side, took her leg and passed it over his hips. Then he placed one of his legs between hers. She felt him gently nuzzling her nape while he entered her again. The dragonflies were swarming around them, arching their abdomens, hitting them with their appendages. Dragonflies may look pretty, but they are carnivores and they have mandibles that bite. Still the little bugs didn't bite nearly as hard as he could.

They were covered by a sea of blue and green heart shaped couples. She screamed, just a small part of it was from pain. When the dragonflies were gone, only D remained. He dressed, picked up something from the grass and left the pond closing the door.

Detective Orcot was having tea at D's again: "So the girl has been missing for a week. The family suspects a new boy she was seeing, though they have no idea of who he might be. Plus she has a long list of ex-boyfriends. It's not going to be easy to rule them all out. Isn't it weird that the brother was a costumer of yours? I even remember seeing her here a couple of times."

"I've already told you all I know. This is clearly a case of Kamikakushi."

"Yeah sure, she was spirited away."

D kept dusting the bronze sculpture that was hanging over the coffee table.

Orcot looked up: "That's ugly. Who puts something like that right over the food. A horse pursued by flies."

"She is a mare; those are dragonflies and they are frolicking."

Leo shrugged, the mare did seem happy. But he hated when D was right so he said: "Frolicking? Who uses words like that anymore? Whatever. The point is that those are bugs and bugs are disgusting."

"You, detective, are a heathen. Devil horses are the very epitome of what wild beauty means." D sat down and hid a knowing smile by taking a sip from his tea cup.

AN: Yikes! This is way out of my comfort zone. The first part I can sort of live with. It's classic really, them Greeks and them Romans had their girls turning into spiders, shrubbery and eerie voices in caves, so: why not horses? It's not even that questionable. Hell! I read The Little Mermaid at age seven and that gal turned into foam because she didn't want to stab her ex lover. Now, the weird matting bugs part… I'm not so sure about. I'm not even sure where that's coming from. But I suspect it's courtesy of an illustrated how-to-do that refers to a certain posture as the dragonfly. Further more, the exhibitionism surprises even me. Why am I posting something like this?! Still, it's my hell spawn, so I take full responsibility.
Now about dragonflies (epipoctra), which are actually a different species from devil's horses -also known as damselflies- (zygoptera). Sure they might look pretty, but they are fierce predators with jaws that can break their prey in two. Their abdomen has eleven segments and when they mate they make a heart-like shape because the reproductive organs of the female are in the eight segment and the male's are in the second, hence the acrobatics. Nature is not romantic, but we humans are; and that's why we make haikus about them and end up calling a bug in its nymph state a Naiad (greek nymphs who presided over rivers). If you actually care to learn more about dragonflies, damselflies and Odonata in general, take a look at the Texas A&M University's page or the Slater Museum of Natural history.

Mercurial Weather
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