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Disclaimer: Paramount owns Enterprise and its characters.
Author: d.e.Miller
Summary: T'Pol, Malcolm, a fireplace, and...
Notes: This story preceeds "North Star".
As that episode is from season three,
laggers beware...
Rated PG-13 for cheeky humour.
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When the Ship's Away...
Enterprise discovered the humans
at North Star and sent T'Pol and Malcolm
to do some preliminary reconnaissance. The two, dressed
in native attire, had only
been on the planet a few hours when Archer hailed them and
said that the ship had
to leave orbit to answer a distant distress call. T'Pol
acknowledged him, and they
waited by the shuttle pod for two days, growing increasingly
concerned when
Enterprise did not return.
Finally, after a long, worrisome
week, T'Pol and Malcolm were contacted by a
Telluride freighter. The officer told them that Enterprise
had somehow been damaged
and could not go to warp. He said, however, that they were
in route to pick them up
at full impulse.
"Full impulse," Malcolm
scoffed. "It will take them three months to get here at that
speed! Just what are we to do in the meantime?"
"I suppose," T'Pol said flatly, "we will have to improvise."
T'Pol used her scanner and
located a deposit of gold ore in a nearby cave.
Though it was hard work, she and Lieutenant Reed managed to
collect several
rich samples, and then they quietly took the ore into town
and sold it. Using the
proceeds, they were able to get a room and purchase some basic
necessities.
"We won't last a week with this pittance," Malcolm whined.
"Then we will simply have to gather more gold," T'Pol noted.
Malcolm and T'Pol went to the
cave every day, and though the work was
backbreaking, they managed to find enough precious metal to
sustain themselves.
After a month of hard labor, however, T'Pol noticed that they
both were becoming
increasingly agitated. One evening, she suggested that
Malcolm go into town.
When asked why, she replied simply:
"To 'kick up your heels,' as Commander Tucker would say."
Malcolm agreed to consider
it, and shortly after the Sub-commander went
to bed, he slipped off into the night.
At half past two, he finally
returned and quietly snuck inside. He was shocked
to discover that T'Pol was waiting up for him over by the
fireplace - she was sipping
a glass of wine and looking at him strangely. T'Pol
commanded him to approach her,
and he did so reluctantly.
"Unbutton my blouse and
take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so
slowly.
"Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed
them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly
watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling hands,
he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
"Now," she said,
"take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he
slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said:
"Lieutenant, if you ever
wear my clothes into town again, you will be severely
reprimanded."
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*Author's note: this is a somewhat
revised version of an email joke that recently
found its way to my inbox. )
Many thanks to the anonymous writer.
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