This is probably one of the most ridiculous things I have ever written. Well, sort of. I wrote it the day before Christmas Eve and I was surrounded by... weirdness. My mother was at the kitchen table all day, working on a jigsaw puzzle she's recently become obsessed with, and my seventeen year old brother sitting curled up on the couch playing a Gameboy (Yes, a GAMEBOY. Not even Colour) wearing a plastic army helmet and holding a rubber band gun.

Also, this may have had something do to with the two litres of Pepsi Max I consumed the hour before.

Yeah, it was probably that, too.

Disclaimer: I wish I was making money for this, but unfortunately I am not even a fraction as good at writing as JKR.

Anyway, there are a few warnings for this:

OOC-ness, slash (wonderful, wonderful gayness, for those who didn't know), alcohol, ridiculous and unlikely pairings with age gaps, sexual references (not too bad, though), not edited, writing under the influence of caffeine and sugar, questionable writing skills, mood swings, plot gaps, possibly slutty Ginny, emotional Hermione, and many more.

Hermione was a mess.

As she flew into the twin's shop, her hair was frizzing a way it hadn't since her school days, her eyes had a crazed glint in them, and Fred was pretty sure her coat was in inside-out. She ran up to the counter and shouted at the top of her voice, "I demand the presence of a Weasley Twin!"

Fred grinned and jogged down the stairs that lead from his apartment to the shops and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What's got your knickers in a knot, Granger? Finally snapped under the pressure of dating my dear clueless brother?"

The woman left out a frustrated sigh. "Ugh, I'm not dating Ron! Why does everyone assume that?"

Fred gave her a quizzical look. "You're not? I know I haven't seen you two together for a while, but mum insists that you are. Apparently you hug eachother alot and are very affectionate...? No? What are you then?"

Hermione sighed and put her head in her hands. "Molly is still in denial!"

Fred gave her another look. "Mum's in denial about what? Again, I know George and I haven't been attending lots of these family gatherings because of mum's disapproval of Angelina and George refuses to attend without his girlfriend and I refuse to attend without George, but... What have we missed?"

Hermione looked at him through her hands. "Ron's gay. Like Harry, but less flaming."

Fred's jaw dropped. "You're serious. When did he come out?"

"I can't believe no-one told you! It's been more than a month!"

Fred shook his head. "I cannot believe nobody thought to tell us. I mean, I get the mum thing, because she really wanted you and Ron to get married, but why hadn't somebody thought to mention it? Harry and Draco stopped by the other day to buy some, uh, relationship products from our adult section; wouldn't they have mentioned my own brother's gayness? This is so unfair!"

Hermione banged her head against the front counter. "This is taking up too much time. Aren't you supposed to help customers?"

"Sorry, Granger, I'm a bit caught up on the fact that my brother likes men."

"Whatever. Look, I need you to help me with Ron's gift."

Fred, who had a slightly overwhelmed look on his face, nodded. "Right. How about lube?"

"Fred!"

The boy shook his head. "Sorry, still caught up on the gay thing... A scarf?"

"Seriously, man?"

"Right, right... A pair of sensible heels?"

"That's it, Fred Weasley! If you don't give me a piece of good advice in the nest five seconds I will curse your balls off and hang them from a gargoyle at Hogwarts then will set the tiny things on fire for the whole world to see!"

The whole shop went quiet.

Fred raised a sympathetic eyebrow. "You really hate Christmas shopping, don't you?"

Hermione let out a choked sob and let him wrap her in warm embrace. "You have no idea."

Ron strolled into The Leaky Cauldron with a smile on his face and ordered himself a shot of Firewhiskey. The barman, Tom, sent him a questioning look. Ron smiled. "I've had a good day!"

10 shots later, Ron was still convinced he was the happiest man on Earth. He had gotten promoted to a senior Auror , most of his family was accepting of his homosexuality, it was Christmas-time, and he'd just come back from having the best sex of his life with Oliver Wood.

"Weasley, why are you speaking about yourself in third person?" Blaise Zabini stood in front of the intoxicated redhead with a sneer on his face.

Ron gave him a smile. "And told him, 'I've had the best day of my life'. He stood up and gave the ex-Slytherin a hug."

Zabini gave him a look and pushed the other man away lightly. "You're narrating yourself."

"Ron giggled. He would never admit this to anyone, but he'd always thought Blaise Zabini was rather attractive, for a Slytherin. Before he'd come out of the closet, he'd often had to stop his eyes following the tall, dark, handsome boy between classes. Zabini gave the redhead a slightly alarmed look. Ron, feeling empowered by all the good things that had happened lately, pressed their lips together. .
As they pulled apart, Ron's face broke into another grin. Zabini, a little shocked at being snogged by a Weasley in the middle of a pub, even though it was empty except for Tom the barman, but not exactly unhappy at this sudden development in their relationship (which had gone from almost strangers to snogging in about a minute), smiled slightly.

He leaned in and pressed his lips to the redhead's- ."

Lucius Malfoy watched Ginny Weasley fly around the Malfoy Quidditch Pitch with his son and his son's, ugh, boyfriend. He had gotten over Draco's relationship with Potter months ago, but it was another thing entirely for him to accept Harry Potter and his friend, the youngest Weasley, into his property, using his brooms, with that girl's beautiful red hair whipping around in the wind and her head tilting back to show off her pale, slender neck and frustrating him on his own property...

Of course, this was wrong. He was far too old for the young girl, and she probably had a boyfriend- a young boyfriend who was every bit as happy and bright as she was.

But, damn, she was just so beautiful that he couldn't resist letting his eyes trace the curve of her body when she stretched her back after landing.

Tearing his eyes away as the trio came closer, both to stop himself being caught staring at the Weasley girl, and to stop himself from feeling uncomfortable as his son kissed the boy he was raised to hate.

"Mr Malfoy?" Lucius dragged his eyes away from the spot on the floor that he had been trying to be interested in and looked at the woman in front of him. Weaslette had grown up alot in the years since he'd almost killed her with Riddle's diary and he knew that he was one of many who found her desirable.

"Yes, Miss Weasley?" He said politely, his eyes firmly trained on her face. Just her face in general. Her cheek. Not her lips. Or eyes.

Ginny smirked in a way that impressed Lucius, who came from a family famous for their smirks. "Oh, I just wanted to say you look dashing today, in those robes. I do believe blue looks brilliant on you."

The older man raised his eyebrows. "Why, thank you, Miss Weasley."

Ginny smiled. "Call me Ginny, please. Ah, I was wondering..." She let her eyes rake his body suggestively. "If you wanted to have drinks later? Here, say seven? I am such close friends with Draco these days, but I feel I never got to know his father. What do you say? A little, private get together for Christmas?"

Lucius smirked at her in return, nodded, and watched her walk away, her hips swinging a little more than necessary.

It seemed the innocent Gryffindor princess had a streak of Slytherin in her, after all.

He was quite sure he liked it.

Charlie Weasley was reluctant to come home for Christmas, to say the least. As much as he loved his family, after the peacefulness of the reserve, the loudness of his family had him longing for the calming roar of dragons.

"Charlie, dear, do come down to breakfast, we have company!" Charlie fixed a smile on his face and let his mother fuss over him. His eyes scanned the kitchen (everyone was staring at their plates like they were about to fall asleep- he guessed it was because nobody had bothered making coffee yet) and fell on a slightly familiar blonde girl who seemed to be swatting invisible bugs around her face.

"Oh, Charlie!" His mother turned around from the stove. "This is Luna Lovegood; she's Ginny's age. Her family lives not far from here. You might have met at Bill's wedding?"

The blonde girl smiled at his absently. "Hello, Charlie Weasley."

"Uh, hi."

Charlie sat down across from the girl. She looked at him. "I remember you from your brother's wedding. You told Fleur's cousins to stop making fun of me. That was very nice of you."

He must have looked bemused, because Luna gave him a serious look. "Does your brain seem fuzzy? It could be nargles, you know."

"What are nargles?"

The blonde girl smiled at him like he was a child. "Oh, dear. Well, you see..." And proceeded to give him a half an hour lesson on several creatures he was pretty sure didn't exist.

By the end of it, Charlie thought he hadn't laughed so hard in a long time.

He liked this girl.

I know many people will think this is ridiculous and unrealistic. I don't give a damn.

It's my Christmas present to you and if you liked it, review and tell me WHAT about it you liked!

Season's Greetings everyone!

Love and Merriness,

NS