Love Struck: Kidnapping Your Heart
By Vahn Thorren
Disclaimers: Don't own them, and we all know why.
Notes: Smashin' diary narritive fun! Kidnapping your the love of your life.
Warning: Slash and funny back stabbing! No flames
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Diary of Draco Malfoy: September the First!
My return to school!
I return this year determined to after much soul searching (jacking off in the shower, spying on him through his bedroom window...) to win Harry's heart! Or at the least access to his trousers. (Sure as hell right!) I made my yearly appearance totally prepared with chloroform and folding bed, ready to drag the unconscious youth back to my 'lair' (The room I share with uppity blonde girl. You know you spent too much time with girls when
a) you know the exact shade of blush you need on day with 'high intensity light'
b) exactly how to strangle and bludgeon uppity blonde room mate with curling iron
Exactly how she survived my little salon style beat down I'll never know.) when I see Ron, carrot wand of a person with his arm around MY Harry. Why I almost whipped out my 'pretty boy natural looks' make up set and taught him a lesson or two. (note to self: steal uppity blonde's curling iron on next occasion, post haste!) And it dawned on me it would take a lot more than sex and booze (I was talking about amazing sex here.) to win his heart. Instead of creating some intricate angsty plot involving Sirius and emotional scarring and Harry's eventual nervous break down. I will simply seduce him, enlisting help of trusted confidant, uppity blonde room mate. This way I'll at least get the consolation in shagging if he resists my advances and pitches of woo. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! I must go, my the bath uppity blonde room mate drew us is ready. (Note to self: find out what brand of conditioner she uses ~before~ you kill her, no knock of pert-plus bimbo out shines a Malfoy!)
^_^_^_^
Ron's Journal: Sept/1
Today is the day I've been planning all summer. I've got my horse tranquilizers, dart gun, champagne, sleeping pills and a air mattress. Watch out Harry walk with your back to the wall, Ron is coming for you!
*_*_*_*
Harry's Book in Which he Writes : The 1st
My breakfast was delicious, scar hurt as usual. I think I've developed some sort of chronic headache syndrome. I asked Ron for a aspirin, I feel sort woozy now. Why is Ron pouring me champagne?
Cat rat hat mat spat fat drat fact gat gnat pat good night book I write things in.
@_@_@_@
Hermione's Log (er...)
First day back to school.
It seems Harry' summer time 'growth spurt' has left him an inch shorter than last year, we suspect foul play. Caught Malfoy ogling Harry, saw Ron and eye started twitching. For such a pretty boy his face falls apart mighty fast. Coped a feel of Harry myself, didn't seem to notice, I'm beginning to think this height problem of his is some sort of degenerative brain mass reduction, and his poor skull is caving in. (Make sure to document temporary memory loss. 'uh....who's hairy?' 'No it's Harry dear' I'll be rich yet!) Well none the less I intend to defend Harry against all depraved suitors! Men and women alike, my reasons I cannot confess even to you (strikes dramatic pose)
Now why is Ron at my door? Who's that he's dragging behind him?
#_#_#_#
From Diary Of Draco Malfoy: later that day.
Bath was refreshing, have doubts uppity blonde roommate is natural blonde. Beside the point, she has decided to educate me in the ways of muggle courting rituals. Since wizard laws of love include consecration and kidnapping. Uppity blonde roommate has instructed me to bake Harry special sexy cake in the image of some sort of sensual beast called a penguin. The cake is blood read and iced in black and white. Have filled cake with rum. Very cute, am quite sure this majestic bird will win my beloved's heart. Well I must go write love letter's, I wonder what rhymes with spleen and obscene?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young love and dumb kids, you just have to say that's funny. REVIEW! No flames.
PLEASE READ:
Blindness of a Gryffindor, Deceptions of a Slytherin by GoddessofWombats
AND
Blight by Vahn Therron (Which is actually my fic, hahahha T.V. EYEs!)
If you don't the authors will kick me! *ouch!*
By Vahn Thorren
Disclaimers: Don't own them, and we all know why.
Notes: Smashin' diary narritive fun! Kidnapping your the love of your life.
Warning: Slash and funny back stabbing! No flames
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Diary of Draco Malfoy: September the First!
My return to school!
I return this year determined to after much soul searching (jacking off in the shower, spying on him through his bedroom window...) to win Harry's heart! Or at the least access to his trousers. (Sure as hell right!) I made my yearly appearance totally prepared with chloroform and folding bed, ready to drag the unconscious youth back to my 'lair' (The room I share with uppity blonde girl. You know you spent too much time with girls when
a) you know the exact shade of blush you need on day with 'high intensity light'
b) exactly how to strangle and bludgeon uppity blonde room mate with curling iron
Exactly how she survived my little salon style beat down I'll never know.) when I see Ron, carrot wand of a person with his arm around MY Harry. Why I almost whipped out my 'pretty boy natural looks' make up set and taught him a lesson or two. (note to self: steal uppity blonde's curling iron on next occasion, post haste!) And it dawned on me it would take a lot more than sex and booze (I was talking about amazing sex here.) to win his heart. Instead of creating some intricate angsty plot involving Sirius and emotional scarring and Harry's eventual nervous break down. I will simply seduce him, enlisting help of trusted confidant, uppity blonde room mate. This way I'll at least get the consolation in shagging if he resists my advances and pitches of woo. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! I must go, my the bath uppity blonde room mate drew us is ready. (Note to self: find out what brand of conditioner she uses ~before~ you kill her, no knock of pert-plus bimbo out shines a Malfoy!)
^_^_^_^
Ron's Journal: Sept/1
Today is the day I've been planning all summer. I've got my horse tranquilizers, dart gun, champagne, sleeping pills and a air mattress. Watch out Harry walk with your back to the wall, Ron is coming for you!
*_*_*_*
Harry's Book in Which he Writes : The 1st
My breakfast was delicious, scar hurt as usual. I think I've developed some sort of chronic headache syndrome. I asked Ron for a aspirin, I feel sort woozy now. Why is Ron pouring me champagne?
Cat rat hat mat spat fat drat fact gat gnat pat good night book I write things in.
@_@_@_@
Hermione's Log (er...)
First day back to school.
It seems Harry' summer time 'growth spurt' has left him an inch shorter than last year, we suspect foul play. Caught Malfoy ogling Harry, saw Ron and eye started twitching. For such a pretty boy his face falls apart mighty fast. Coped a feel of Harry myself, didn't seem to notice, I'm beginning to think this height problem of his is some sort of degenerative brain mass reduction, and his poor skull is caving in. (Make sure to document temporary memory loss. 'uh....who's hairy?' 'No it's Harry dear' I'll be rich yet!) Well none the less I intend to defend Harry against all depraved suitors! Men and women alike, my reasons I cannot confess even to you (strikes dramatic pose)
Now why is Ron at my door? Who's that he's dragging behind him?
#_#_#_#
From Diary Of Draco Malfoy: later that day.
Bath was refreshing, have doubts uppity blonde roommate is natural blonde. Beside the point, she has decided to educate me in the ways of muggle courting rituals. Since wizard laws of love include consecration and kidnapping. Uppity blonde roommate has instructed me to bake Harry special sexy cake in the image of some sort of sensual beast called a penguin. The cake is blood read and iced in black and white. Have filled cake with rum. Very cute, am quite sure this majestic bird will win my beloved's heart. Well I must go write love letter's, I wonder what rhymes with spleen and obscene?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young love and dumb kids, you just have to say that's funny. REVIEW! No flames.
PLEASE READ:
Blindness of a Gryffindor, Deceptions of a Slytherin by GoddessofWombats
AND
Blight by Vahn Therron (Which is actually my fic, hahahha T.V. EYEs!)
If you don't the authors will kick me! *ouch!*