A Knight's Devotion

by celticwitch77

As First Knight he knew the meaning of loyalty. He also knew that his love and devotion belonged to someone before Camelot. He has watched and listened as Merlin has been used and abused. Can he do what needs to be done to protect his love, or will the future be completely altered?

Being 8 years older than the king brings an interesting perspective. He vaguely remembers seeing magic in the markets of Camelot. He watched as the former king's grief turned to hatred as he took his oath as a knight. He took a long look into the night sky and sighed. He remembers the fear, anger and even hatred his cloak and armor would spark even among the people. He did not want to take the oath; however, a promise to his mother as she died had him taking the oath.

He watched as a raven-haired young man enters through the gate as the sun begins to rise as his mother last words seemed to whisper across the air. "Do not allow hatred, anger and fear to rule your actions. You will be needed as a knight. I know it means not what it used to, but he will need protection, true friendship and another ear as those try to manipulate him. I love you and so very proud of you." He spent years thinking that she was talking about Arthur; however, he understood that she was speaking of the servant.

He continued to watch as the young man moved through the lower town. As he thought about how things had changed. He thought about when he spoke to the servant during the tournament with Valiant. He watched as the servant eyes flashed gold just before Valiant tried to order the snakes back into the shield, but thought he was seeing something. He knew for certain when Nimueh created the afanc.

He watched as Gaius, the Great Dragon and others have tried to influence and manipulate the boy. He listened to many of the things that they have said to the boy. It did make sense what they were telling him. However, he strongly believes that most prophecies are self-fulfilling. He would only advise that Merlin followed his instinct and heart.

He could remember Merlin crying on his shoulder in the armory after having to alter Morgana's memory of his magic. He asked why he couldn't break through the fear and hatred. He just held the boy. He held the boy as he cried after he met the Druid boy again.

He watched as the young man walked into the servant entrance. He knew that a day was coming soon that he would have to make a choice. He loved his king. However, he loved the servant more, and it was that realization that had him on the parapet this early in the morning. He got very little sleep. The knights seemed to choose him to pick on him last night about relationships or his very lack of them.

It was getting harder to watch his king and knights abuse the servant. They think it is all joking and fun even as the servant gives back; but they were not the ones that have had to hold him many nights as he cried over their endless taunts and jokes. With Lancelot gone, the pressure seemed to double. He knew that warlock was reaching a breaking point.

Leon turned to leave the parapet. He moved slowly back to his chambers to get ready for that day's training. Once he reached the training field, he had to withhold the growl at familiar taunts. "Come on Merlin. I know you are a useless servant, but you are even slower than normal." Arthur stated with a smile as he swung at the shield the boy was holding. The training was short because several of the knights have yet to return.

It was later in the afternoon during the council session when things started to come to a breaking point. It was revealed that the knights had yet to return. Arthur stated that he was going to investigate the disappearance of his knights and citizens. He was only going to take Merlin. Leon suddenly became frantic. "You cannot go alone. Let me come with you."

"I need you here, Leon. I need someone I trust looking out for the queen." Arthur stated.

Leon knew that it would be fruitless to argue. It was that night as Merlin prepared for their departure that Leon slipped into the armory where Merlin was finishing Arthur's armor. "I cannot lose you, Merlin." Leon walked up as he spoke to the servant.

"All will be well, Leon. I have always returned." Merlin tried to smile.

"It is the condition of your returns that worry me." Leon stepped closer to Merlin. He reached out and cupped his face in his hands. "I am so in love with you. It makes me afraid every time that I am not with you." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Merlin softly.

Merlin fisted Leon's shirt in his hands pulling the knight closer to him as he responded to the kiss. "I love you, too." He whispered as they parted, and Merlin looked into his eyes.

Leon took Merlin's hands in his as he led the servant from the armory. "Let me hold and be with you, tonight." Merlin nodded. He was led to the First Knight's chambers. The night was short but loving. Each relishing in each other's embrace.

In the morning, Leon watched with a fearful heart as the two men left. "Merlin will ensure that the king comes back. He always does. There is no need to fear." Queen patted her childhood friend's arm.

He tried to smile. "Who will watch out for Merlin?" He whispered.

The Queen stopped. She studied her friend. She finally saw it. "You are in love with Merlin."

"I am."

"Merlin will be okay. He always is. He will come back to you." Queen smiled.

It was almost a week later when Leon heard a commotion in the courtyard. He rushed alongside the queen. The knights were carefully removing Arthur from the cart. "He needs to see Gaius." Gwaine stated as they quickly moved to the physician quarters. Leon kept looking around. The queen noticed and frowned. "Where is Merlin?" She asked.

"He is around somewhere." Percival stated.

Leon lost it. "Merlin is always at Arthur's side especially if he is injured. Where. Is. Merlin?" Leon shook the large man with each word.

"He took a severe blow to the head and a fireball from Morgana. He is dead." A young man stepped forward.

"Who are you?" Leon glared.

"This is Mordred. He saved Arthur from Morgana." Gwaine stated.

Leon whirled on the man. "Did you check to make sure that he was dead? Did you not think to return the servant to his home?"

"My first priority was Arthur. I knew that he could not survive it." Mordred insisted.

Leon leaned into Mordred as he slammed the boy into the wall. "I know who you are, druid. Just as I know that you left him there on purpose to hopefully die. I will tell you this much, if he dies; then there will be no place you could run to escape me."

They watched in shock as Leon stormed out of the room. He was already on his horse urging it into a gallop as he raced through the lower town and into the forest. All the while begging to anyone that would listen to guide him to Merlin.

He continued moving through the night and next day barely resting. He reached Ismere just after the sun rose into the sky on the second day. He noticed blood on the ground and followed it to an entrance into a side tunnel. A bluish figured appeared before him. "Follow me."

Leon did not hesitate to follow. "The dragon and I have done our best for him. He still weak. He will have a choice to make soon. He must follow his heart and not what he has seen of the future. Destinies are in play; however, one is not yet truly decided. The druid's path is not certain. He is foretold to be Arthur's bane; however, Arthur is his own bane. Emrys must tell him the truth. Morgana will go after the heart of Camelot, the queen."

Leon could only nod. He was not sure what she was talking about. However, he stopped short as he looked at the still figure before him. "Merlin." He whispered as he rushed over to his love. He pulled the young warlock into his arms.

"Leon." A broken voice stated.

"It is me." Leon held him tightly.

"Where is Arthur?"

"Being tended by Gaius in Camelot." Leon growled.

"Oh." Merlin began to cry. "They left me here. They forgot about me." The warlock stated through the tears.

Leon heard a soft growl. He faced a deformed white dragon. Merlin assured the dragon that it was okay. "I need to summon Kilgarrah. Aithusa needs to be healed if possible."

Leon nodded as he lifted the warlock into his arms. He carried him to the open field. As he lay Merlin down, he listened to the dragonlord call the Great Dragon. They waited patiently as the Great Dragon appeared. "Oh, young warlock." The dragon sighed.

The young dragonlord called Aithusa. "You need to try and heal her."

"She has bonded with the witch. I cannot." The dragon stated stubbornly.

"It is our fault that it happened. However, she did save my life. Please, do not make me order you." Merlin pleaded in his weak voice.

The Great Dragon gasped at his first sight of Aithusa. He needed no order to heal his kin. He watched as Aithusa began to heal. Merlin sighed into his lover's arms. "Mordred is now in Camelot. You must be careful. He is destined to kill the king."

Leon growled. "A destiny that is not yet set. The druid could turn from the path."

"He left Merlin to die."

"As Merlin have left him to die and be captured. It is still a path that can be changed. Deep inside, he only wants Emrys to accept him not push him away. I saw that much as I threatened him."

The Great Dragon stepped back from the knight. He bowed. "I understand now why the druids saved you with the Cup of Life." The dragon left.

They rested in the field as Aithusa and Merlin lay down. Leon could not help but grateful to have his love in his arms. "Everything will be okay. It usually is. Stop worrying." Merlin patted his lover's arm.

"I cannot help but worry. You look after everyone, but no one is there to look after you." Leon sighed.

"You do. Thanks for coming to get me." Merlin pressed his lips to his knights.

"Always, love. I will always come for you." Leon kissed his forehead as Merlin began to drift back to sleep as silent tears continued to fall.

Leon held Merlin throughout the night. He slept light but was awoken by Merlin's whimpering. He could seldom understand the murmuring because it was too low; however, what he could only ignited his anger. He swore that enough was enough. It is time to fully choose a side for him and Merlin. The shadows will not work for them anymore. Now that he has had Merlin in his bed it seems cold without him. He swore that he would speak with Merlin in the morning.

He awoke to the morning light. He looked around the small camp. It was then that he noticed the dragon was not far from them. "We cannot prevent people from hurting him, but we can be there to show that he is loved and not alone. We can avenge him." Leon spokes to the dragon.

The white dragon nodded her head and snorted. "Are you going to return to your mistress?" The dragon shook her head. "You plan on following, Merlin." She nodded her head.

"There are caves near the castle or the catacombs where the Great Dragon was held captive that she could use. I heal her as she is healing me with our physical closeness. I need to find out how she got like that, and how she got connected to Morgana. She maybe physical healed; however, there is still much I must heal. Including her magic, physical strength and her communication both verbal and mental. I called her into this world. She is my dragon and that bond supersedes all others; however, I need to strengthen it; so, she is willing to respond, and I do not have to keep speaking in the dragontongue." Merlin stated as he stretched. Leon watched as Aithusa moved towards her Dragonlord slowly.

Leon made sure that his arms were around Merlin. "She has made her choice. We must now make our choice Merlin. We can no longer be in the shadows. I threatened both Mordred and Percival before I left. The queen knows how I feel about you. The creature said something to me that I could not fully understand."

"What did the Diamir say?" Merlin stated.

Leon placed a kiss on his lover's head. "She said that you had a choice to make soon. You will have to tell Arthur. She said that you must follow your heart and not what you have seen of the future. She said that the druid's path is not set but destines are in play. She said that the druid was foretold to be Arthur's bane, Arthur is his own bane. She said that Morgana will go after the heart of Camelot the queen."

He tilted Merlin's face so that he could see it. "I know you feel you are only destined to protect Arthur, but I cannot believe that is your only purpose. You have lost so much and are treated horribly. I do not think that I can go back to watching it and not do anything. They forgot you. They left you for dead on the words of a stranger. I believe you must make your own path and decide before we reach Camelot."

"Your knight is correct, Emrys." Iseldir walked into the camp. "I wondered why we were asked to heal you with the Cup of Life; however, I understand now what the Triple Goddess saw then. I must apologize."

"Why do you feel the need to apologize?" Merlin stated.

"You are Emrys. You are magic and immortal. You are still a man with feelings. We never saw it. We never took the time to explain fully what it meant or see that you were still human. You are the guide which magic follows. You who have never been trained. Yes, you are foretold to guide and protect the Once and Future King; however, you are also the voice of all magic and the gods."

"So, Merlin cannot die." Leon frowned.

"He can die. It would take a High Priestess with the power over Life and Death, which there are none anymore, or a blade forged in a Dragon's breath, which Arthur is in sole possession of the only sword. However, do not worry. For I must apologize to you as well. For when we healed you all those years ago with the Cup of Life, it also made you immortal. So, the same applies to you."

"Mordred is in Camelot with the king." Merlin stated. "He told them I was dead. They left me there with Morgana."

"Yes, they did. Emrys have you not left Mordred to die on the words of a dragon. We never tried to guide or help you. We left you with only Gaius and The Great Dragon to guide you. You have suffered greatly as a result. We all make mistakes. We would like to help heal you and dragon. We would like the chance to mend our mistakes." Iseldir stepped forward.

"I never felt comfortable in druid camps or going to them. You all seemed to worship or expect something great from me. I am just Merlin. Emrys is a title of prophecy. I do not feel like him. Morgana has been able to best me. I feel stupid and useless when I see the worship and hear the awe from the druids. I do my best with only limited guides and no training. Everything I know, I learn in books or allow my instincts to direct my magic."

Iseldir lowered his head in shame. "I never meant to make you feel that way. I always tried to stay near in case you came to us for help. If I knew you felt that way; then I would have tried to find another way or speak to my people. Will you give us a chance now?"

Merlin looked to Leon and back to Iseldir and back to Leon. "I knew the day Arthur decided to leave with only you that a day was coming when I would have to make a choice."

"I cannot ask you to make that choice. I know you love being a knight; however, I am not sure that I am ready to go back to them. They will say that they were sorry. They will expect me to forgive them. However, I am sure in time that I will, but I know that I cannot at this time. Everything is so raw and hurts. I need you in Camelot. I need items in my room. You know where to find them."

"I know what you are referring. I will get for you. I will not stay away from you for very long, my love." Leon kissed his head.

"I will have someone meet you in the clearing where he calls the Great Dragon. You will know that I have sent them because the person will be with the dragon. They will guide you to our camp. For now, let us get them to our camp." Iseldir stated.

They made it to the camp in three hours with transport spells. Merlin was asleep in Leon's arms thanks to a sleeping spell Iseldir placed over him. Iseldir guided him to a tent. It was big enough for Leon, Merlin and the dragon. "The tent was specially made. We understand that they need to be close to each other. Physically they are almost fully healed; however, it is the mental and emotional healing that worries me."

Leon carefully lay his love on the bedroll in the tent. Kissed his forehead. Aithusa quickly lay next to her dragonlord and place her head over his legs. "They have abused him emotionally with their teasing. However, they never saw how seriously he would take it. He would tease them back; however, in the night he would cry and wonder if it was true. They left him behind. It sealed the belief in his heart that he was nothing more but a servant that was useless and stupid. It did not help that it has not been a full year, since the incident with the Lamia where we abused him severally both emotionally and physically. I was among them. I had not fully acknowledged that I was in love with him. If I had; then I would not have been affected and could have protected him better. It was that incident that forced me to examine everything."

Leon looked at Iseldir. "He needs to feel welcomed. He needs to be treated just like any other member of the camp. Yes, he is Emrys; but they need to know and recognize that he is Merlin who is a man that has been tortured, manipulated, and abused by many. If they cannot accept that part of him; then I do not think that he will ever accept the part of him that is Emrys. He will need to know that he is both and accepted by both. I will leave in the morning to return to Camelot. I want to make sure that he is awake and comfortable before I go. You should also know that the bond is growing between them. Aithusa seems to be really sensitive to his emotions. If he gets upset, agitated or frustrated; then Aithusa will respond and growl and refuse to allow anyone to get close to him. She has also been abused."

Iseldir frowned and tears slipped down his cheek. "We have done much to wrong him, as those that profess to be his friends. I will be speaking to the camp if you would like to be present."

"I am not sure if that would be wise." Leon looked back at his sleeping lover whimpering in his sleep.

"I would really like you to be there. Merlin needs a voice, and who better to speak for him when he can't than his lover and mate." Iseldir smiled.

"I can give insight and suggestions, but I will not presume to speak for him." Leon stated firmly. He knelt beside his love. "I will be back, my love." Leon kissed his forehead. He turned to Aithusa. "Watch over him. Keep him safe." Aithusa nodded her head.

Leon followed Iseldir out of the tent. He watched as everyone gathered in the center of the camp. "I have called everyone young and old to this gathering. We have done a grievous wrong. We have placed Emrys on a pedestal and forgot that he was a man with failings and emotions. We forgot that he was not raised or taught magic or to know of the prophecies. He was raised a boy to fear what magic can do to him. He was raised to hide it. He was raised as a normal man. So, we made him feel uncomfortable and useless. He has been abused his whole life. He was told at the start of his manhood that his only purpose was to protect the Once and Future King. He has lost loved ones. He has been tortured by enemies of Camelot. He has been abused by friends, foes and us. He needs much healing both physically, mentally and emotionally. At this time, I would to ask his lover and mate to provide insight; so that we can help Merlin fully heal. I would like to ask Sir Leon De Bois to speak."

Leon stepped forward. The crowd gasped as they recognized him as a Knight of Camelot. "Merlin from the very start of his life was taught to hide and fear his magic. He has told me what his mother would tell him which was never to let anyone see and use it as a last resort. He thought himself a monster and still does. He was sent to Camelot at 17. He was told almost immediately that he must hide it, but that his sole purpose was to protect Arthur. He was never told his other title or what it meant. He was only guided by an overprotective physician and a Great Dragon too full of anger and prophecy. They both manipulated the boy. It did not help that Arthur and those in Camelot considered teasing would be causing damage.

He was left to flounder and learn what he could from books. He still does most magic instinctually. He has trouble speaking spells and getting his magic to respond them. However, if he let his emotions and instincts control his magic, he can do many things. As a result of his torture and abuse, he feels useless and stupid. He does not see himself as Emrys and flinches at the mere mention of the name. He needs to accept that he is Merlin, Emrys and a dragonlord. Yet, he knows what none of that means. He can never be asked to choose between anyone and Arthur, because he will choose Arthur even over himself because it is what he has been taught to believe. He believes that Arthur is more important, and he is expendable. He needs to learn his value as Merlin, Emrys and dragonlord as being equal to Arthur. He needs positive reinforcement even when he does something wrong or not getting it right. He learns better by having the reason and mechanics explained to him. Spells causes him trouble and heartache, but if you tell him how the spell works and end results; then he can use his instincts to make it happen. Yes, he knows a few spells but the majority of the time he sees what he wants to happen and his magic response. If you want him to accept that he is Emrys; then you first must acknowledge and recognize that he is Merlin first and foremost. In time, he will be able to accept that he is Merlin and Emrys. They are both the same person.

The bond between Aithusa and him is still healing. He called her into this world. However, something happened, and Aithusa was abused and bonded with Morgana. She has chosen her dragonlord. She as become protective of him. She is very in tuned with his emotions. She will growl and refuse to allow anyone to get close to him if he gets upset, angry or frustrated. They will have much healing to do together to repair that bond. He is also very close to Great Dragon that has manipulated the boy, since his arrival in Camelot.

He and I have also spoken with the Diamir. She told me the following: 'He will have a choice to make soon. He must follow his heart and not what he has seen of the future. Destinies are in play; however, one is not yet truly decided. The druid's path is not certain. He is foretold to be Arthur's bane; however, Arthur is his own bane. Emrys must tell him the truth. Morgana will go after the heart of Camelot, the queen.' I know not what she told Merlin.

For my finally words, I love Merlin with all my heart. He is my everything. I will have no trouble taking him far away from you, Camelot or Albion." Leon left the gathering and returned to the tent.

He removed his armor and undressed down to his tunic. He nodded at the dragon before crawling in behind Merlin and gently moved the younger man closer to him. Merlin fully relaxed and curled into his knight's arms. Aithusa took that as consent and curled in front of her lord on the bedding. Soon, they were all relaxed and asleep.

It was just before dawn when Leon awoke. Aithusa was whimpering. Merlin was crying in his sleep, "Please, I can do better. I promise I am not worthless. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me."

Leon took several deep breathes. He started whispering words of comfort and reassurance. He started to place kisses on his head, cheeks and ended with his lips. Merlin calmed and responded to the kiss. "Leon. They left me. They left to die or be captured. I thought that they were my friends." Merlin cried as their lips parted.

"I know, love. The druids will look after you. They will help you heal. I will be back in a couple of days. I must return to Camelot." Leon frowned.

"I know. I need you there, but will you see me often till I feel that I can return." Merlin looked at him with clouded eyes.

"Yes, I will love." Leon smiled. They rose. Merlin helped Leon to dress. They stepped out of the tent. They were greeted by Iseldir and a woman.

"Would you like something to eat before our healer can look over you?" Iseldir asked.

"Thank you. I do not think that I will need a healer between the Diamir and Aithusa my wounds were pretty much healed." Merlin stated.

"Please love, let them check. You took a fireball to the chest and then thrown against the wall. Your hair is still matted with blood."

"I would like to wash first; then they can check me over as long as you are with me." Merlin tried to smile.

"You can follow me to the stream, Merlin." Iseldir stated. The two men followed Iseldir. Merlin undressed and walked into the stream. Iseldir had to swallow his gasp. The toll could be seen clear from all the scars.

The woman soon joined them with clothes for Merlin plus a towel. She stepped back to the tree and turned his back. "I will need him to keep his top off, so I can look over his injuries." She was given the okay to turn around and she gasped. "By the gods."

You could count his ribs. His whole chest was covered in burns and old whipping scars. His back was not much better. It clearly reminded them that he was still a human. She looked him over gently. "You are correct you are mostly healed. I would still like to wrap your ribs and chest. I would advise you to eat small portions frequently and to rest a lot. No strenuous actives or magic for about a week. I would say that you will be completely healed. You may still have headaches or dizziness for the next couple of days. If it gets really bad; then let me know and I can give you something."

"Thank you." They walked back to camp after Merlin finished dressing. They were met with several members bringing them food.

"Your horse is ready. We are half a day away from the castle. You can leave when you are ready." Iseldir stated.

After they ate, Leon watched Merlin go back into his tent after kissing him goodbye. He felt his heart breaking as got on his horse. "I will be in the clearing near dawn two days from, now. Take care of him."

"I will. I will have someone waiting for you with Aithusa." Iseldir promised. Leon was led out of the camp. He rode hard and fast.

As Leon saw the castle, his mind kept playing Merlin's words and his anger rose deep within him. He swore that once he leaves again in two days that he would not return without Merlin. Even if it meant that he would remain gone permanently, he swore to himself as he trotted into the courtyard. He was barely off his horse when he was greeted, "Where is Merlin?" Gwen asked.

The anger was very present in his eyes and demeanor, Gwen flinched and stepped back from her friend. "He did not feel comfortable returning and was still wounded. He is being cared for by druids at the moment." Leon stated flatly.

"Arthur has been asking for him." Gwen frowned.

"Where is he?" Leon asked.

"They are all in Gaius' chambers." Gwen stated as she followed him into the castle.

He walked into the physician's chambers. He was suddenly hounded by questions about Merlin. Leon looked directly at his king and told him the same thing he told the queen. "Why would he not feel comfortable?" Gwaine whined.

"Why?" Leon roared. "How about the fact that he is constantly told that he is nothing but a servant and worthless and useless and stupid? How about the fact that he was left for dead or worse to be captured by Morgana? I have spent the last two nights listening to him cry himself to sleep and then cry and beg in his sleep not be left and promising that he could do better and was not uselessly. How do you think he would feel when not even 7 months after the Lamia that his supposed friends left him behind to die as if he was nothing?"

"When will he return?" Arthur asked.

"I do not know. The druid healer said that it would be at least another week before he was completely healed after magic was used to heal most of it. I promised to return with his clothes after my horse is fully rested."

"I want to return with you." Gwaine stated.

"No!" Leon growled. "I promised Merlin that I would return alone, but I will give him any messages that you would have for him."

"May I go." Mordred asked.

"No." Leon growled again and kept flexing his hands. He took several deep breathes as he looked upon the sad and apologetic faces of his brothers in arms. "Look, Merlin needs time to heal and work things out for himself. He stated that he knows you all will feel bad, but he does not think that he can forgive you all just, yet. It would make him feel uncomfortable. At this point, I will be surprised if he does return. You all think that it is just teasing. Yes, he smiled and gave back; however, he has taken everything to heart. Abuse is not something that is easy to heal."

"We have never abused him." Gwaine stated fiercely.

Arthur frowned and looked down at his hands as tears fell. "Yes, we have. Especially me. We should have known better. How could I treat him that way without telling him how much I care for him? He is like a beloved brother to me and my best friend. Yet, we did abuse him with every taunt and thrown object and making him do everything."

"He knows we love him." Gwaine continued.

However, it was Percy that responded. "I do not think that he does. Lancelot made me promise to look after Merlin. He told me that Merlin was good at hiding his pain. He warned me that he takes everything to heart. He told me that Merlin was the bravest and nobliest person that he knew and should be the one to be knighted. I did not understand till just now what he meant. Merlin was too quick to forgive us after the Lamia." Percy left the room leaving everyone in shock, because he seldom spoke more than a sentence at a time.

Leon made an excuse to leave but promised to be at dinner. Arthur was soon moved back to his chambers where George was waiting for him. Soon the day was over, and Arthur asked George to summon Leon. When the door opened, he asked. "How was he really?"

Leon took a seat at the table across from Gwen. "Honestly, he looked like death. His hair was completely matted with blood. He could not walk or stand. He could barely remain conscious. His breathing was shallow due to the burn and bruised ribs. He was completely heart broken."

He looked at his king. "I will be honest. I am completely in love with him. When I leave, I will not return till he is ready. I would not have left him with the druids if he did not beg me to come back and check on you and to get his clothes."

"Will the druids take care of him?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, they will. He is in good hands." Leon reassured him. "When he returns, you must promise me that you will listen to him completely if he wants to talk. I know he will return eventually, because he cares too deeply for you, sire. No matter what he tells you, you must promise now that you will listen to him fully and think before reacting. If you cannot promise me; then I will do everything to convince Merlin not to return."

"What are you not saying?" Arthur asked.

"It is not my place to say; however, if one was to look back over the last 8 years; then one should be able to guess what is not being said. I love Camelot. You have my loyalty; however, I love Merlin more than anything. I will not leave him again. I must say good night."

"Thank you for your honesty. We will think about what you have told us this night." Gwen smiled at him.

Once Leon left the room, Arthur spoke. "Do you know what he is talking about?"

"I think I do. I must admit it is not the first time that the idea crossed my mind. Why would he be worried about Merlin return? Why would he make you promise to think before you act? What is the one thing that he would be afraid you would react to? Merlin has stated that he has saved your life more times than you can count. You have survived and defeated many attacks that could not have been defeated without magic." Gwen stated with seriousness.

Arthur began to shake his head. "No, it is not possible."

Gwen tried to smile. "He has admitted to it twice before. He once stated that he could take you apart in less than one blow. He also stated that he was not ordinary and was in disguise. He always seems to know things and be steps ahead. He would disappear come back and things would soon be back to normal."

Arthur leaned over and kissed his wife. "I need to be alone." Arthur rose and walked to the window.

The next day Leon gathered Merlin's things including his books, staff, a rose and the wood dragon along with his clothes. Leon packed everything that was important to him including clothes. He trained with the knights. Arthur never left his room. Leon retired early knowing that he wanted an early start tomorrow. Several knights including Mordred gave him something to give to Merlin.

It was still dark when Leon made his way towards the stables carrying a few bags. He did not have to reach the stables because three horses were already prepared. The king was standing next to Merlin's horse which was already loaded. "Watch over him. Offer the druids these supplies as a token of my thanks. I promise to listen to him. Please, Leon bring my brother home. I need him."

"I truly believe that he needs you too. I was also warned that Morgana will go after Gwen next. Do not let her leave the walls. The knights cannot fight against magic. I am not sure how long I will be gone. Merlin has been bullied, abused, tortured, used and manipulated. It will take awhile for him to recover and discover who he is. I must tell you. He thinks his life is not worth anything and considers himself a monster. He truly believes that he is nothing but a worthless servant. I will not allow him to return till he finds his own self worth and realizes that his life has value and meaning." He got on his horse. Arthur nodded to him and handed the reins over to him. Leon never looked back to see the sadness and tears in his king's eyes.

Soon, Leon found himself back in the druid camp. He was searching for Merlin as Leon got off his horse. He was soon greeted by Iseldir. "Your timing is perfect. He has yet to speak to anyone. He keeps to his tent or just behind it. He has also barely eaten. I have heard him many times crying in his sleep."

Leon frowned. "I am not surprised. King Arthur sends these supplies as his thanks for taking care of Merlin. I also told him that I was remaining with Merlin regardless if he decides to return to Camelot or not. I also have everything that Merlin holds dear. I did not think that it would be that easy."

Iseldir took the horses and motioned for a couple of druids to take care of them and store the supplies and move Merlin and Leon things to their tent. Leon moved straight to the tent and opened it. The first thing that he noticed were the tears tracks along his face. Leon quickly moved to his side and placed a soft quick kiss on his lips.

Merlin blinked his eyes twice. "Leon!" He shouted with joy and a smile on his face as he threw his arms around the knight. "You came back!"

"I told you that I would return in two days. I know that you said that you want me in Camelot; however, please do not ask me to leave you again. Arthur is well and back to training. I refuse to leave you again. I have made my choice. Where you go, I go. I love you."

Merlin's eyes misted as he pulled Leon in for another kiss. "I love you so much. I never thought that I would feel this way again."

"Have you seen much of the camp?" Leon asked.

Merlin looked down and shook his head. "Everyone looks at me when I leave the tent."

"How about if we walk around together and explore?" Merlin nodded his agreement. They left the tent and walked around with Aithusa following beside Merlin. He kept his hand in Merlin's. "I should also tell you; everyone was upset that you did not return with me. Arthur was really worried but understands. In our things you will find several letters for you. Arthur even sent supplies for the druids as his thanks for looking after you. He called you his brother. He asked for me to bring his brother home when you were ready."

Leon could feel Merlin tensing. He would gently squeeze his hand. "Everyone is staring."

Leon stopped and leaned down and kissed Merlin thoroughly and deeply. "Now, they have a reason to stare. Mordred even feels bad."

They began walking again. "I am not sure what to do. It seems like everything they say is one thing, but their actions say another. If I forgive; then it will start up again. I am just unsure about everything at the moment. For the last 8 and half years, I have been told that protecting Arthur was my sole purpose. However, why should I always have to sacrifice everything? I lost my childhood friend, my first love, my father, and myself. I am not sure who I am anymore. I am horrendous. My body is scarred. The decisions I have made way me down. I have watched my people suffer, and I have suffered. Aithusa has suffered because I put Arthur before her. Morgana was lost to power, vengeance and hatred because of me. I have killed many people all to keep Arthur safe. I see my reflection and see a monster."

Leon stopped again. He framed Merlin's face with his hands. "You are brave, noble, selfless, forgiving, kind-hearted. You can never be a monster. You have the time. I am not going anywhere. I know everything you have done. You have told me. I am sure that you will be mad at me, but another thing we will have to workout is the fact that I believe the king and queen have figured out your secret. I made Arthur promise that if you return and want to talk to him that he will listen completely and take time to think before reacting."

He felt Merlin stiffen. "I do not think that it will be that bad. It was Arthur that saw me off before dawn and had the horses prepared. It was then that he told me to bring his brother, because he needs him."

Aithusa began to look around and growl. "Calm down, love. Aithusa is getting upset." Leon leaned down to kiss him again.

Merlin stepped back and bent down to Aithusa and began to whisper to her till she stopped growling. He took Leon's hand and began walking again. "I think I want to go back to the tent." Leon nodded and turned them around to go back to the tent.

Once, they entered the tent, they noticed that their bags were there. Leon unpacked the letters and handed them to Merlin. He put them back into a bag. "I am not ready to read them, yet. Do you have something to snack on in those bags?"

Merlin leaned up against Leon. "Arthur and Gwen were doing, okay. Mordred seemed to be okay. He was not acting suspicious."

"Yes, Arthur was fine physically. I am not sure about mentally or emotionally. He must come to terms with his part in the abuse towards you. Plus, he needs to come to terms with you having magic. As you need time, the same applies to him. Gwen will be there for him. You both need to discover that you can be strong and confident without each, so that you both will become stronger together. A half cannot hate what makes it whole."

Merlin snickered. "Kilgarrah says the same to me all the time."

"I was not referring to you and Arthur. I was referring to Merlin and Emrys. Each a half of the same person. You once told me that you told Gaius that you were nothing without your magic. Your magic is Emrys. Your heart is Merlin. You cannot have one without the other. Emrys responds to your heart. Your heart dictates your emotions."

Merlin tilted his head. "You believe that I am the prophesied Emrys."

"I believe that you are Emrys the most powerful warlock. How can you not be with a heart as pure and big as yours? I know that you know you are Emrys. What you need to discover is what that means to you? I do not put much stalk in prophecy or fate. I believe we determine our own fate and future. It is time that you decide your future for yourself and not what people tell you it should be or some centuries old prophecies."

Merlin sighed as his body relaxes. "The only thing I know for sure is that I do not see a future for myself without you by my side." Merlin began to drift back to sleep.

After several minutes, Leon moved himself from behind Merlin. "Guard him." He spoke to Aithusa before walking out of the tent. He scanned the camp for Iseldir. "Is this a permanent camp or a temporary location?"

"Why?" Another druid asked.

"Who are you?" Leon looked at with suspicion.

Iseldir interrupted the staring contest. "I do apologize. Sir Leon from left to right. You have Elder Amie, Elder Rowan, Elder Manuie and Elder Rodham. If you were not aware; then I am the Chief of this tribe. Yes, it is permanent."

"Is there an abandoned cabin nearby, or can one be built away from the main camp but still within the protections of the camp."

"I thought Emrys did not want to be seen as special." Elder Rodham sneered.

Leon growled and yanked the Elder up by his robes. "His name is Merlin. Have you dealt with a person who for 26 years have been bullied, tortured, abused, used and manipulated? He is more than just Emrys. He is a man whose name is Merlin. He had a father named Balinor who abandon him and his mother to keep them safe from Uther and died in his arms. His mother Hunith gave her whole life for him being shunned and getting little help from her village. He watched his only friend die in his arms for the sake of his secret and protecting the Once and Future King. He was abused and bullied growing up by his village and then in Camelot. He has been tortured with and without magic by those seeking to harm Arthur. He watched Arthur kill his first love and held her as she took her last breath. He had to poison a good friend. There is nothing but scars on his back and chest. He needs your people to accept Emrys, but he needs a place of solitude to reconcile his human self and being a Dragonlord. Aithusa needs space, as well. As she heals, she grows, and her magic and fire breathing will grow and become erratic not too mention once he heals her speech both mental and physical voice. Being directly in the village, with all the mental communication could possibly confuse and scare her. To be honest, I do not give a damn about YOUR Emrys. I do care a great deal for Merlin Emrys. I will do anything to make him whole. If you cannot see that; then I will leave with Merlin at once."

Leon tossed the Elder to the floor. "I have heard his murmurs and his crying. I have seen the scars that you speak of knight. I have never dealt with anyone who has been through what he has or the choices he has had to make. I would agree that Em…Merlin should have a separate place outside of camp but within the settlement. I know the dragon will need quite a bit of space." Elder Amie spoke.

"I have watched Merlin remain close to his tent and constantly looking over his shoulder at every sound and stiffening with people watching him. I watched as you two had your short walk. It is clear that he is not comfortable with our people or with himself. I agree that a separate space might be better, plus if anymore of his knight friends' come to visit, he could have room for them without making people in camp feel uneasy." Elder Rowan stated.

"I will have someone do a thorough search of the area within our protection. Even if it is a little outside of that protection; then we can possibly ask Merlin's help in extending that protection."

"I would appreciate it. I would also suggest that once he is moved that you bring over a couple of people that can help him with his magic especially healing because it really frustrates him. He can make salves and potions well enough. I know he would like to learn more about the druids, runes and teleporting. I think this will go a long with helping him to adjust to your tribe while at the same time helping him discover himself. If anyone knows anything about dragons or dragonlords; then it would be most helpful as well."

Leon turned to leave. "It sounds like you have given this much thought, Sir Leon." Elder Rowan spoke.

Leon turned back to face the Elders. "I knew of Merlin's magic, since Nimueh attacked with the Afanc. I have watched him struggle. I have watched him go days without sleeping working in the shadows to protect my people. I watched how Gaius and the Great Dragon manipulate him. I watched the results of many tortures and abuse that he has endured. I have also watched good and brave knights succumb to darkness and kill themselves from much less than what Merlin has been through. Yes, I have given much thought on what can help heal, Merlin."

"We will find or create something fitting the last Dragonlord and his dragon." Elder Rowan stated.

"Thank you, again. I will go back to Merlin." Leon left the group.

Leon smiled at the druids that he past. He knew that it would take time for them to feel comfortable around them. He was almost to the tent when a little boy stopped him. "Excuse me, Sir Knight. Is Emrys sick?"

Leon knelt to the ground. "Emrys likes to be called Merlin. Merlin has been injured. It will take time for him to heal and be comfortable around people again, as a result."

"I hope he gets better, soon. Do you think he will allow me to play with his dragon?"

Leon smiled. "I think after they get used to being here that he might allow you to play with Aithusa. However, they were both injured and need time to heal."

"Okay." The little boy ran towards the other.

Leon stood and continued to the tent. Leon walked into the tent to see Merlin sitting up and talking to Aithusa while holding the dragon statue. He was explaining how he did not know anything about being a dragonlord and wishing that he could help her. She just listened with her head in his lap.

Merlin looked up at him and smiled. Leon felt his heart stop. It was the first honest smile that lit his eyes that he had seen in a long time. "I do not think that I am ready to be around a lot of people. I would like to learn from them. However, I think I need to come to term with those we left behind in Camelot first."

"I figured as much. I was speaking to the elders to see if there was a more secluded place within their protections. They said that they will find something or ask for you to help extend their protection to cover an area for you and Aithusa." Leon started to remove his armor.

He felt Merlin come behind him to help him. "I would be willing to help to extend it if they explain to me how. Did you bring your kit for your armor and swords?"

"I did."

"I am glad you brought my things. Could you teach how to fight with the staff? I feel very comfortable with it, and it calms my magic."

"Yes, I can help you. One of the children stopped me and asked if you would allow them to play with your dragon."

"Aithusa has her own mind. I would not object if she is comfortable with them." Merlin stated.

"The only way she will be comfortable with them is if you interact with them and introduce them."

"I know." Merlin kissed the back of his neck. "I was thinking that we could eat with the others tonight. I think it will be okay if you are with me."

"Where you go, I go. If that is what you want; then that is what we will do." Leon turned and kissed him.

Merlin spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the Sidhe staff. The smell of dinner drew them from the tent. Leon walked next to Merlin as he walked with the staff and Aithusa at his side. They took a seat as someone passed them a plate of food. He thanked them. They even brought something for the dragon.

Leon watched his young lover closely for any sign of distress especially when a few children came up to him. He watched as the little boy from early asked about the dragon. "Please, call me Merlin. Her name is Aithusa. She is four years old."

"Where did she come?" A little girl asked.

Merlin began to tell the story. He did not realize that his magic was responding and making images of the smoke as he told the tale. Even Leon was surprised to learn something new about the story of how Aithusa was hatched. Even Aithusa responded to the story. When he ended the story, with him calling her from the egg. Aithusa rose and roared fire into the air before settling her head back in her lord's lap.

"How did you do that?" An adult asked.

Merlin stiffened. "Do what?"

"You made images of your story appear in the fire and smoke."

"I dunno. I d-did not realize that I was doing anything." Merlin moved closer to Leon.

"It is okay." Leon whispered. "You did nothing wrong. They were just asking a question not accusing."

"I think I would like to go to bed." Merlin whispered back. Leon made an excuse for them and led him back to the tent. By the time, they were in the tent Merlin had calmed back down.

The next two days were still rough. Merlin was becoming more comfortable with the children. He would create butterflies or flowers for them. Aithusa was also getting more comfortable as well. Leon also noticed that the more he wore his armor the adults were getting used it and venturing to talk to him. They would also try to talk to Merlin, but the moment they would mention Emrys or his magic he would clam up.

It was the morning of third day, when the elders approached them. "Would you follow us please?" They walked about 15 minutes from camp when they came to a decent clearing that was near the stream.

"This is beautiful." They noticed a large house. They walked around the house and found a barn that held their horses and a large three-sided building for Aithusa. He walked into the house. "This is too much." He noticed that there were books and scrolls on shelves. "Will the protections need extending?"

"Technically, no. The protection ends just behind the barn." Iseldir stated as they followed Merlin outside.

"I think I would be more comfortable if it was further back." Merlin stated and walked behind the barn. He felt the invisible ward. He felt it and everyone within it. He thought of what would make him feel safe. He felt his magic merge with the ward and touched the ground. He felt the magic respond. After several minutes, he smiled and turned. "It is done."

He looked at their face and began to shrink in himself. Iseldir was the first to react. "You did nothing wrong. We have just never felt anything like that before. It was warm and comforting. Can you try to explain what you did? It might help us to figure out how to help you better."

"I-I just allowed my magic to merge with the ward. I thought about what would make me and Aithusa feel safe. My magic responded and pushed the wards back and added to it. I know that no one not in the camp can get through it. I know that it will not allow hatred or anything that feels like Morgana's magic into the camp at all, or items that are enchanted to do harm or possible harm; even if someone tried to lead them through it. I asked the trees and plants outside to protect the ward. I envisioned branches falling and vines growing thicker as strangers approach the ward."

"You mean like when the bandits would attack us, and branches would fall, or roots and vines would trip one of them." Leon asked.

"Yes, that is what I was thinking about, and I thought about the strength of your arms, and how they make me feel loved and safe." Merlin blushed. "I truly only wanted to feel safe and loved. My magic responded. I cannot explain it or how. It just is for me." Merlin shrugged.

"You are quite amazing, Merlin." Elder Rodham smiled.

Merlin hid his face in Leon's shoulder. "Thank you."

"It should be us thanking you." Elder Amie smiled.

Merlin frowned. "Why? It was done for a selfish reason. I was not comfortable with the ward being that close to Aithusa."

"True. However, you could have only pushed back your portion of the ward and only protected this part. Yet, you included the whole camp and the area just outside of it protecting all of us further."

"It was still selfish. Now I know that Aithusa will be safe anywhere in the camp. So, really there is no reason to thank me though you are welcome."

"We will leave you to get settled into the house." Iseldir stated.

Soon days turned into weeks. Leon and Merlin had established a pattern of sorts. Merlin would wake and work with Aithusa and tend the horses. They would have breakfast in their cabin. They would train in the clearing. Leon would help him fight with the staff, and Merlin would help Leon to use his sword to deflect spells. He placed charms on his shield to help deflect and protect against fireballs. They would have lunch in the main part of the camp. During the afternoon, Merlin would learn more about magic, the druids and healing. They would eat dinner with them and afterwards. Merlin and Aithusa would play and work with the children or tell them stories about him and Arthur.

Merlin had also finally read the letters that were given to him. He cried and raged. The druids understood why it was best not to anger Merlin. He had grown comfortable with being called either name; however, most have started to use them like a first and last name.

It was at the end of their fourth week being with druids. They were curled up in their bed. "Am I being a coward?" Merlin asked out of nowhere.

"You could never be a coward. Why do you ask?" Leon spoke into his ear.

Merlin snuggled closer. "I am still not ready to face them. I am not ready to return to Camelot."

"You are still healing mentally and emotionally. It takes time. You have people listening to gossip from travelers, and I know that you have some go into the lower town. You do not have to be there to protect them. You are still protecting Arthur. You are just not waiting on him hand and foot or hiding a part of yourself. You are helping the druids, and they are helping you. Aithusa is flourishing."

"I needed to hear that. I love you." They drifted off to sleep.

The following morning, they followed their usual routine. They were currently in the clearing training. Merlin did not realize that Iseldir was trying to communicate with him, because he blocked the mental connection while training or working Aithusa. Merlin had just shot a fireball at Leon who deflected it back at Merlin who dissipated it. He moved in with the staff when Aithusa suddenly appeared in front of him and started growling. "What is wrong, Aithusa?"

"I tried to contact you. However, you blocked the connection. You have visitors." Iseldir spoke from the trees.

It was then Merlin noticed the other men behind him. "A-Arthur. I c-can explain. I am so sorry. So sorry." Merlin started to shrink into himself and place himself behind Aithusa."

"I know, Merlin. I cannot say that I fully understand."

Arthur was about to say something else when Gwaine rushed into the clearing. "Merlin, I have missed you so much. I am so sorry."

Merlin backed closer to the cabin. "You said I was useless and left me to die or be captured by Morgana. You say one thing but do another. You say I am a friend but leave me to die. You just completely forgot about me, just another servant easy to replace."

A smaller man stepped forward. "It is my fault."

Merlin glared at him. "You cannot take the blame for their choices and mistakes. You were angry with me. You had every right to be. However, when you met up with them, did they ask about me? Did they question you about where I was?"

Mordred turned and looked at the other knights. "No, Emrys they did not."

Merlin truly looked at Mordred. "The knight uniform looks good on you. The only thing you did wrong was not tell them that I was still unconscious in tunnels. I forgave you almost immediately. Arthur was also unconscious, so I forgave him. However, I am still having trouble forgiving the others. I have not returned because I knew that I could not."

Mordred stepped closer. "Is this Morgana's dragon?"

"She was never Morgana's dragon." Merlin stated through clenched teeth. "She has always been mine. I called her from the egg. I named her. Aithusa has always been mine. She is the only reason I am here. For it was she, that sealed my wounds in the tunnel as the Diamir hid me from Morgana when she awoke or else, I would have been her prisoner or dead." Merlin issued a command in the dragon tongue, and she went to her shelter.

"You are a dragonlord!" A knight shouted.

Merlin straightened and gripped his staff. He spoke with conviction and power. "I am many things: husband, son, physician assistant, nephew, servant, warlock, dragonlord, Emrys, but most importantly I am magic."

Arthur stepped forward. "You were a servant. You are my brother, protector and most importantly my equal. I have missed you terribly."

Merlin eyes began to mist. "Do you truly mean that?"

"I do."

"I have long thought of you as my brother."

"Beside missing you. I needed to let you that I know of your magic, and it does not change how I feel about you. I have so many unanswered questions, and Gaius will not answer them. I also seek your advice. Amata seeks to renew their treaty with us."

"Sarrum lies. He seeks no such thing. I will warn you now. If Sarrum passes by here; then I will kill him. He trapped my dragon in a tiny well with Morgana for two years. It is no wonder they bonded. He hurt one of my dragons. He will pay sooner or later." Merlin roared, and the air crackled. "I am still trying to heal her from the damage he has done. She still cannot talk." The wind began to stir.

Leon placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder. Leon softly yelled. "Aithusa come here." Aithusa landed next to Merlin and nudged his side. Merlin instinctively began to rub her head. "Take him to the stream to calm down. Aithusa tugged on her dragonlord's arm till he began to follow her. Once, Merlin was far enough away, Leon looked at his king. "Why don't we talk inside?"

"When did you learn to command a dragon?" Arthur asked as he followed Leon into the house.

"I cannot. Aithusa may not be able to speak, but she can understand. She can feel Merlin's emotions and can calm him, and his magic better than I can sometimes. However, if Merlin had ordered her to stay in her shelter; then she would not have come. She is comfortable with me and knows that I will do anything to protect her dragonlord."

Leon waited till the king was seated. "Why did you come here?"

"I have truly missed Merlin. I needed to see him for myself." Arthur stated.

"That is not the only reason." Leon frowned.

Arthur looked down at his hands. "No, it is not. We have been getting reports from villages about the use of magic over the past week."

Leon smiled. "I am not surprised. Merlin has been encouraging the druids to go out and offer help to nearby villages."

Leon sighed as he looked at his king and brothers. "I miss you all, but I wish you would not have come. Merlin has been doing so well. However, I feel that this may set him back. He is almost whole. It was just recently that he started to deal with his feelings regarding you and the knights. I was almost certain that in two weeks he would have been ready to go home for a visit if not to stay. I will also say that he will never give up this place here. The druids made it for him with love and made him feel as if he belonged and was their equal. It is the first time he had ever had that."

"Did he read our apologies?" Eylan asked.

"Yes, after two weeks. He cried and raged. He literally set the clearing on fire and caused a huge storm. I mean just last night he asked if he was coward, because he was not ready to face all of you." Leon faced the knight.

Arthur was about speak to when ground shook, and wind began to howl. Two roars were heard just before thunder began to roar through the air. "Merlin just learned what happened to Aithusa, and how she became bonded with Morgana. He is still taking it hard. He has anger towards Sarrum and himself. He feels that if he had chosen his responsibility as a dragonlord instead of hiding it and choosing Arthur over her; then she would never have been abused or captured by Sarrum. She spent her second and third year of life in a tiny well that was shared with Morgana. She could not grow properly physically, mentally or magically."

Before anyone else could say anything, Merlin barged into the room with eyes of bright gold. The air filling the room his power and emotions of anger and sadness. Everyone felt the weight of it. Merlin looked at Gwaine. "You said I was your first friend. You said I was your best friend. You said after the Lamia that none of what you said and did was true. You knew I was in the tunnels with Arthur. The three of us hide from Aithusa. Yet, you did not question or were concerned when only Arthur came from the tunnels. You left me as I was nothing."

He turned to Percival. "Lancelot was my brother and best friend. He never forgot about me. He was always there looking out for me as Leon did. He walked into the veil for me. He did not do it for Arthur, Gwen or Camelot. He did it FOR ME! You told me that he made you promise to be there for me and watch over me. It was me that laid his soul to rest the second time by myself. You did not even spare a second in Ismere."

He continued to look at the two men cringe. "You claim to know me. I know you have seen what other have not. I know that you have spied and followed me. Yet, you spare no thoughts to my feelings. You laugh as other tease me and tease me as well for being clumsy and stupid when I am neither. You have seen me come back battered and bruised and did nothing as Arthur continued to overload me or use me as a training dummy while in those conditions. This is the weight of my emotions that I have carried for years. By your actions, I was never your friend or one of you. I was just a servant. You treated me the same as the nobles you claim to detest."

Merlin turned on Arthur. "I gave you everything. I have sacrificed everything for you. My only childhood friend died for me to keep my secret. My father after only knowing him for one day died in my arms. I could not grieve because he was a Dragonlord. You killed my first love. I held her in my arms as she took her last breathes. You call me brother, yet you allow others to dictate how you act. You take their words over mine. You constantly overwork me, belittle me and abuse me. I mastered the power of Life and Death so that you may live as I killed Nimueh. I have saved you time and again with and without your knowledge. Yet, I receive the same treatment. How can you call me brother?

I seem clumsy because my magic weighs me down and seeps into the earth causing them to rise and trip me. My emotions and guilt weigh me down. There is not a night that goes by that I do not have nightmares of the things I have done or decisions that I have made. When you are ill, I spend night going over your reports and answering them. Yet, I am constantly yelled at for being late and lazy. I work for you and Gaius. I hold so many jobs demanding my attention, yet I am lazy. I am worth more than that. I can finally see it and realize it. I am worthy of love, friendship and family. I am not fully comfortable with myself. My entire body is ugly and scarred. I still occasionally see a monster in the mirror. I realize it is a reflection of your words and hatred for magic that I have had to listen over the years. You never cared to notice the flinching or hurt in my eyes when you would talk like that."

Merlin allowed the tears fall silently as a took deep breathes. The weather calmed. His eyes returned to blue. He looked at Arthur. "I said that I would be happy to server till the day I die. I stand by that; however, I must serve you in my own way. I refuse to go back to the way things were. I refuse to hide who I am. I should have love, friends and family. I finally understand that now. I am the voice and guide of magic. I AM magic. Yes, I am to be your protector and guide, as well. I must be able to be me fully. I have other obligations other than you. I AM the last Dragonlord. I AM the lord and guide of ALL magic. I cannot advise you on Amata. You must do what you think is best for Camelot and all her people. However, my resolution stands. Amata and Sarrum will pay for what they have done to MY dragon and MY people." Everyone flinched at those words.

However, Merlin was not done. He turned to Mordred. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I, Morgana and Arthur are not the only ones with prophecies. I must apologize for all the grief and wrong I have done to you. I allowed this prophecy and others to color and dictate my actions. I have known since you were a child that you were foretold to join with Morgana and kill Arthur. Your fate is not sealed as mine, Arthur or Morgana's are. You can still change your fate if you desire to. I am willing to help you change it; if you can forgive me."

"I could never hurt Arthur." Mordred stated quickly.

"I have seen you turn from him in anger and betrayal. I am not sure what caused the reaction." Merlin turned to Leon. "I need some time. I am going to the camp with Aithusa." He kissed Leon before turning to leave.

"Is it true about the scars and everything he stated?" Arthur wiped silent tears from his face.

"Yes. There is no skin on his chest or back that is not scarred. He still will not believe me when I say that he is beautiful. He is getting there slowly. I told you before I left what he thought. It should not have been a surprise."

"Was he serious about Amata?" Arthur looked at him.

"Oh yes, he is very serious. He is just waiting for him to enter Camelot or do something to HIS people. You should see him train. He moves with grace and a lethal determination. I would suggest you all think about what he said. I will give you time to think. If you are quiet; then you could watch him train in the mornings. He wakes early and trains with Aithusa and after breakfast with me. If you stay; then I would suggest that you give you him some distance but not too much. He does need to adjust and learn to be comfortable are around you all as he is. If you do not think that you can accept all of him; then I would suggest you leave now."

Merlin spent the afternoon and evening in the camp. He spent a good amount of time talking to the Elders about what happened. They listened. They listened without condemnation. They advised that he should do what is best for him and to follow his heart. The children played with the dragon and served to distract him. Leon silently remained by his side offering a silent comfort and protection. They returned to a silent and dark cabin that night.

Arthur watched Merlin from a window in the cabin as he walked into the pre-dawn morning. He watched from a distance as his brother chanted in dragon tongue over Aithusa. He watched with and shed tears when Aithusa spoke for the first time and said "Merlin." He watched as Merlin led the dragon through exercises to strengthen her legs and wings. He watched as Merlin got on her back and took to the skies. He watched from the trees as they flew above to flex and strengthen her wings. He watched as they landed and saw the pure joy, happiness and freedom that showed in his eyes and smile. He flinched as he realized that he never saw that look before in all they years they were together.

He watched as Merlin with care and love massaged Aithusa and then tended all the horses including his and the knights. He watched as his horse nuzzled Merlin's neck. "I have missed you too. I see that they have been taking care of you." He watched as Merlin brushed and cared for the horses. He watched as his eyes glowed as he cared for them. He watched as they fully relaxed and nee as he whispered words over them. "That should do it. The protection has been strengthened. It should last a while. I am not sure when I will be able to do it again, or if I will return to Camelot any time soon. I must go and see to my own breakfast. It was good to see you again, Aries." The horse nee as Merlin left the barn.

Arthur hid along the side. He watched Merlin walk back to the house with grace and certainty. He cringed as Merlin's shoulders began to sag and tense as he walked through the door. He watched through the window as Merlin made a large breakfast. He watched as Merlin ate and eyes flashed gold as he left out the front the door.

Arthur moved along the side of the house. He watched as Merlin moved through exercises with the staff in his hand. He watched. He did not realize that he picked up Leon's staff and moved into the field. He met Merlin's staff in the air. They allowed their emotions to flow as the sparred. Soon, everything faded around them. They lunged, parried and connect staff against staff.

Merlin's eyes glowed and soon he held Arthur's sword that came from his room. "You know how to wield a sword, but it is time that you learned how to wield Excalibur. For this is no ordinary sword, it was forged in the breath of the dragon at my request. It is embedded with magic as old as time." Merlin swung and parried with the sword as any knight. "It has the power to kill an immortal or a high priestess. It is the only weapon beside me that can kill Morgana. Yet, you allow yourself to fear to her. It is also the only weapon that can kill me or Leon."

Merlin tossed it to Arthur who caught it in his hand. "You must become one with it. I know you feel its energy move through you. Now, you must learn to let it guide you." Merlin threw a fireball at Arthur.

Arthur hit the ground and rolled away from it. "What the hell, Merlin?"

Merlin's eyes remained gold. "Why do you dive in fear? The sword has mine and the Great Dragon's magic running through it. Let it guide you. Face the magic as you would another sword. You will always fear magic and me till you know that you can face it and stand against it. Do not dive."

Merlin sent another fireball. This time Arthur parried and felt the ball connect with the sword. He felt it being sent back to Merlin who split and sent both back to Arthur. They were in an invisible dance. Then Merlin threw an invisible energy at Arthur and watched it sent him through the air. "The sword can sense the energy you cannot see. Let it guide your movements. I gave you a magical sword to combat magic now use it!" Merlin shouted.

Arthur rose on shaky feet. Neither realizing that they had an audience. Merlin allowed all the hurt and anger he had towards Arthur loose: vines and branches moved, air swirled around in a funnel balls of fire, water and energy flew at him. "I told you once that I could take you apart in less than a one blow. You fear magic! You fear me! Yet, I created and gave you the one thing that could kill me. Face it! Defeat it! Defeat me!" Merlin raged as his staff appeared in his hand.

Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He finally felt the magic in the sword. He felt the warmth, safety and love that he always felt when Merlin was nearby. He began to move. He fought against an invisible force and Merlin's staff when the two connected sparked as magic met magic. He tore threw funnels of air, cut vines, earth and branches that rose to trip and trap him. He was not sure how long they moved and fought. He was soon looking into the gold eyes of his brother. His sword at Merlin's throat.

Arthur dropped the sword quickly and backed away from Merlin. Merlin stood and picked up both the sword and his staff. He held the sword out for Arthur to take with a sure and steady hand. Arthur's hand shook as he took the sword. "You are the other half of my soul; they other half of my magic. It could never truly hurt you for it recognizes you as its other half. Yet, you have always had the power to hurt and kill me. You may not have physically killed me, but you have slowly killed me on the inside. If I never found the other half of my heart." Merlin looked at Leon with a smile. "You most certainly would have succeeded in killing me."

Merlin handed Leon the staff. He called Aithusa. They soon took to the air. Arthur looked to Leon. "What was that about?"

Leon sighed. "You want to call Merlin the idiot. That was Merlin healing. It was Merlin releasing all the hurt and anger towards you that he kept buried deep inside him. It was Merlin showing everything that he is. It was Merlin showing you that though he may have kept many secrets that he always trusted you. He trusted you with the most important thing: his life. He made the only weapon that could kill him and gave it to you. His life always has been and will be in your hands. The question now is what are you going to do."

Leon turned and walked into the house. Everyone just looked at each other. He looked up in the air as he watched them fly around the camp. He motioned for everyone to train. He watched Mordred walk into the druid camp. Arthur followed his First Night. "I thought Merlin stated that he forgave me." Arthur looked confused.

Leon tilted his head and shook it. "He forgave you for Ismere and being party to leaving him behind. However, what about every insult and item you have thrown at him for 8 and half years; what about every time you called magic and sorcerers evil. Every day you overwork him by giving him chores that belong to someone else. You have been essentially paying two people to take care of your horse. You have been paying two people to do your laundry. You have been paying two people to test your food. You have been paying two people to help on the training fields. You do not have a care for Merlin. You say you do and believe that you do, but your actions say otherwise. Every servant in the royal household or castle get two days off every week and only works no more than 10-hour days. Yet, I have watched Merlin consistently work from 4 in the morning to 1 the following morning trying to get everything you request done as well as what Gaius wants done. You always seem to forget that Merlin has two jobs royal manservant and physician assistant."

Leon was so frustrated but could not stop. "You always want to tease Merlin about his clothes. He only gets 25 silver pieces a month for being your servant. He does not even get paid for being a physician assistant though he is listed as both. I asked why Merlin got paid so little, and you know what your steward told me. He said that he got paid that little because you always complain about the quality of his work and being lazy or sleeping on the job. You know what he does with those silver pieces each month. He sends 15 pieces to his mother, help Gaius and anything that is left he gives to those in need in the lower town or nearby villages. Do you know how much George gets paid for acting as your manservant? He gets paid 20 gold pieces. Gwen got paid 30 gold pieces a month for attending Morgana.

He might as well be sleeping on stone as hard as his mattress is. He freezes in the winter because his blanket his thinner than your cloak. His winter clothes are worn and thin, but you know who gave them to him, Lancelot. You know his gear for traveling was gifted to him by Lancelot and me because they refused to allow him to take anything for himself. You may call him your brother, but you sure do not treat him like it. You sure as HELL do not deserve the forgiveness, he just gave out in that field for it." Leon stormed out the back door leading to the barn leaving Arthur to his thought and tears.

Over the next couple of days, Merlin sparred against each of the knights as he did with Arthur. Except he also showed Mordred how to work his magic through the sword and to use it at the same time as fighting with the sword. Each left with his forgiveness knowing that they did not deserve it. As they mounted to leave, Merlin wished them well but informed him that he was not ready to return to the castle. It was a somber group that left the camp. As Merlin met with the druids, Arthur returned to the castle.

"Where is Merlin?" Gwen greeted her husband.

"He was not ready to return. I am being to wonder if he ever will return. He is treated as an equal there where as here he has only been treated as the lowest servant. I need you to summon the steward for me and have him bring all his records for the serving staff including those of the royal household." Arthur took off his cloak and poured himself a drink.

"What is going on Arthur?" Gwen stated after she spoke to the guards.

"How much did you get paid for being a member of the royal household?" Arthur looked at his wife.

"I got paid 40 gold pieces a month for attending Morgana."

"Did you know that for the entire time Merlin has been my manservant he was only getting paid 25 silver pieces a month? Did you know that he is also listed as a physician assistant and not getting paid for it? Did you know that he would send 15 of that to his mother, and the rest to help Gaius and villagers?"

Gwen sat down and sighed. "I knew that he sent the majority of his pay to his mother. I have watched him help the villagers everyday in the villages and especially the lower town. I have listened to him as he would tell them it was at your request. He has found men and young boys work around the castle as positions opened. He has helped mend homes as much as he has helped Gaius to heal their bodies. I knew that he was the reason that you have their loyalty and love. I did not know that he got paid so little for it."

"Did you know that my manservant as a prince was supposed to be paid 50 gold pieces a month and as a king 75 gold pieces a month? Did you know that a physician assistant to the court physician is supposed to paid 15 gold pieces a month?" Arthur frowned at his wife.

"I did not know all that. The question remains are what are you going to do about it?" Gwen asked as a knock sounded on the door.

Arthur granted permission for the person to enter. "Good, I would like to go over the staff files and royal household. You have everything I presume, Elliot."

"Y-yes, I have brought everything." The steward moved to the table and handed over the files.

Arthur took them and spent several minutes going over the record. "I see here that Merlin has been listed twice with one not showing payment, why is that?"

"He is both manservant and physician assistant. However, since he is lazy and incompetent, he only got paid for what he does." Elliot stated proudly not knowing that he was sealing his fate.

"Who told you that he did not deserve payment? I know that I did not nor did the queen. I am sure that Gaius did not say anything." Arthur looked up at the steward.

"You are constantly complaining about him being lazy, incompetent and sleeping on the job." The steward responded.

"You will go back through and figure out what the difference of what he received and what he should have received since his employment for both positions. You have no business robbing a man of his pay without orders from me to do so. I may call him incompetent and lazy, but it is also a response for him calling me a prat, fat and other things. It is a banter that we share. You had no business to take things upon yourself. You had no business refusing items he needs when he leaves the castle with me on hunts and quests." Arthur slammed the book closed.

"Y-you can't be serious. Do you know how much that would be?" Elliot looked shocked.

"It would be 1,530 gold pieces for physician assistant. There are 10 silver pieces to one gold pieces so that would be 47.5 gold pieces per month as a manservant to the prince which would be 2,280 gold pieces while I was a prince. It is 72.5 gold pieces per month since I became king which would be 3,915 gold pieces to bring him current. Yes, he has not been here the last month; however, he was severely injured when we left to go to Ismere and has been healing since then. I have never terminated him. It means that we owe him 7,725 gold pieces. I can assure that does not cover all that we owe to this man."

"But, but what about George?" The steward asked.

"What about him? He is listed as head butler and backup manservant. He gets paid accordingly. I see nothing wrong. Except he will no longer receive the full manservant pay that he got for this past month, since I have never released Merlin from my service. He does not do half of what Merlin did for me. I have said all that I will say. I expect the back pay for Merlin in my quarters by the end of the day. If you do something like this again; then you will be stripped of your position and tried for robbing a person of their pay. Do I make myself clear?" Arthur leaned over the steward.

"Y-yes your majesty."

Once the door closes, Gwen turns to her husband. "You know Merlin will send most of that to his mother, the rest he will give to Gaius, druids, villagers and people in the lower town. He will not keep it for himself. He will not use it for what he needs." Gwen stated.

Arthur smiled at her. "I know. However, what I have planned should work. I know that you want to see him. So, I am going to send you to him with Mordred and Elyan as guards. So, you know Mordred has magic as well."

"I already knew that. I remember him from when he was a little boy. He never hid the fact that he was druid."

She smiled as Arthur frowned. "I must really be an idiot. I never saw it or realized it. I want you to speak with the druid elders if you can. He is someone special to him. They call him Emrys." Arthur looked as his wife who gasped. "What is it now?"

"Agravaine was looking for him. He is supposed to be the leader or king as you would for the druids and all things magical. He is also supposed to be Morgana's doom. Morgana was looking for him because she sees him as a traitor for protecting you and Camelot."

Arthur began to pace and run his hand through his hair. "It is just never ending. I will never be able to do right by Merlin. I and Camelot are so far indebted to the man that it would take at least 6 life times to repay, and I still do not think that will be enough, because we are still racking up more debt."

"You know Merlin does not want recognition or reward for it. He loves you."

"You just do not understand. Everyone believes that I am such a good and just king. Even, Merlin still says that I am. However, I am not. How can I be good and just, when I have treated Merlin worse than any other servant in this castle or any who have worked for me. I did not even make sure that he was getting the correct pay. I seldom give him time off unless he finally collapses from being ill or injured or to visit his mother which he has not done since we hid there after the last take over which was just over a year ago. It was three years before that when he last asked to go see her. I AM NOT just and do not feel it."

Gwen smiled. "It is not a matter of a debt to Merlin. It is the fact that you do not feel worthy of being called a just and loving king. What would make you feel worthy of being called a just king?"

"I need to make sure everyone that works for me is being treated fairly and equally."

"You are aware that you have a knight that is a druid and has magic, and you have a manservant that advises and protects you and has magic. How can they be treated equally when their very existent in Camelot is a crime?"

Arthur snapped his up and looked at his wife. "The law will have to change, then." Arthur looked shocked.

"How will that ensure that Merlin is treated fairly and equally? You demand so much from him. You expect him to always be there. You expect him to wait on your every need and advise you. You expect him to help Gaius. So far, I do not see it as being equal, yet you want to call him your brother." Gwen frowned.

Arthur moved his hand through his hair. "He is my equal. He is actually my better."

"Yet, people do not see it or believe it. How can you ensure that he is being treated equally?"

Arthur continued to pace around the room. "If I change the laws; then I will need someone to advise and oversee the magical people of this kingdom and represent them on the council. I could grant him the title of Court Warlock and First Advisor. It would mean also giving him a title and making him a part of nobility."

Gwen smiled. "It sounds great. I would have to say it is about time. The only problems that I see with what you propose is one the council will not like it, and the other would be getting Merlin to agree."

Arthur smirk and his eyes gleamed. It made Gwen frown. "I will deal with the council. You can deal with Merlin. I am sure between you and Leon can get him to agree to it. He can hardly tell you no."

Gwen continued to frown. "I think I would rather deal with the council. You will have to write up the proposal. I am sure that Merlin will help rewriting the laws."

"I also want you to speak with the elders about clothes, styles or something that we could incorporate with our colors or crest to make royal outfits, capes, etc. that would be specific for him and for various weathers. We will cover those cost; however, he needs a whole new wardrobe that will reflect his new stations and druids. It must also include the best items for traveling: tent, sleeping bag, physician bag, a bag for herbs and other magical items. We ought to see if the druids could make something to carry the staff in while riding a horse or something. You can get ideas from Mordred as well and get estimates on cost and purchase up front and have him fitted when he returns. We give him the rest. This way he will what he needs first."

Gwen rose and kissed her husband. "It sounds like a wonderful idea. I will see you for dinner. I would like to speak with Gaius and Mordred and check on several things. I will have the staff prepare the east tower rooms. I believe the whole tower used to belong to previous Court Sorcerer. I will put up the request that once he returns that items from vault be brought up to the tower."

Arthur watched his wife leave as he summoned Eylan and Mordred. He prepared them for a return trip with the Queen. Mordred tried to remind him of Leon and Merlin's warnings. Arthur told them that it would be okay. They were to keep quiet and be prepared to leave in two-day times.

Meanwhile, Merlin and Leon were meeting with the Druid elders about their reception about surrounding villages. When they learned that one of the returning druids stated that it was believed that Morgana was spotted in a nearby village looking for a means to get access to the castle or lower town of Camelot. "She is trying to go after the queen."

"I need to warn Arthur without alerting her." Merlin stated. He went silent. Mordred. Mordred can you hear me.

What is it, Emrys?

Morgana is in a nearby village trying to get into the lower town or the castle.

We are supposed to be escorting the queen to visit you. I will try to dissuade the queen. However, I do not think that either will be persuaded.

The queen must not leave the castle! If you cannot get them to delay; then let me know before you pass the castle gates.

I will.

Merlin growled as he looked around the room. He stormed out and into the woods. Leon quickly followed. "What is it?"

"I thought that we specifically told Arthur not to allow the queen to leave the castle. He is planning on her traveling to here. Mordred stated that he would try again to persuade them otherwise." Merlin turned around with tears in his eyes. "I truly thought that he was changing and willing to listen and trust me. I guess that I was wrong. It is never going to change is it." Merlin leaned his head on his husband's shoulder.

"Maybe, Gwen is being stubborn and insisting on coming. We have no idea what is truly going on with them. She could see that you have still not returned and could be insisting on coming, regardless. We just do not know the circumstances. Mordred may just be able to get them to listen. The only thing we can do is try to locate Morgana and stop her and change her focus." Leon tried to smile.

"You could be right. Gwen can be truly stubborn when she has made up her mind to do something. I just feel that it is Arthur behind it." Merlin shook his head. "You are correct. We need to locate Morgana."

Merlin stepped out his husband's embrace. "I will notify the council that we will be leaving for a few days. You can gather our bags and prepare the horses." They went in separate directions.

Merlin finally made it back to the cabin after an hour. "Everyone in the camp seemed to see it was necessary to wish us well on our journey and a quick return." Merlin smiled as got on his horse.

"I think we should start at the closest village to the one that she was located. Merlin nodded his agreement as the spurred their horses into motion. They traveled and reached the outskirts of a village as the sun was setting. They made camp. Merlin hide the camp with his magic as they walked towards the village. They decided to eat in the pub and try get some gossip.

They ate and listened to the whispers around them. It was not long before they heard talk about a farmer being forced to take someone to the lower town after watching his wife die and children being threatened. Merlin frowned and tears glistened in his eyes. It always brought sadness to him. He could feel the guilty filling him.

"It is not your fault." Leon sighed.

"Of course, it is my fault. I have had the ability to take her life. I killed Nimueh my first year in Camelot. I dealt Morgause a mortal blow. I just not have been able to bring myself to kill her. She was one of my first friends in Camelot. Every death is on my hands each time I have faced and refused to kill her."

"It is not your fault." Leon stated more forcefully. "You would not be the person you are if you could just up and kill her."

"I did poison her once. However, I quickly bartered with Morgause, so she could take and heal her. It could have all ended with the Knight of Medier. I felt so vile and ill for poisoning her. I just had to let her live, even if meant bargaining with such and evil person."

Leon quickly tossed coins onto the table. He pulled Merlin out of the pub. He pushed him up against tree. "It is not your fault." Leon growled. "You are not evil. You are not a monster or murderer. I hate to say this, but it is a war. A war not of your making or conventional war but war, nonetheless. People good, evil and innocent die in war. It is tragic, but no one's fault."

Leon's eyes sparkled with anger and sadness. "I have blood on my hands. I have killed innocent druids and others under the suspicion of sorcery. Am I evil or a murderer?" Leon pressed Merlin further into the tree till he hissed in pain.

The tears streamed down Merlin's face. "No, you were only following orders."

"Then you are not be blamed as well." Leon on sighed and leaned forward to brush kisses down his husband's neck. "You are too forgiving, caring and selfless to be evil. I love you all for it. I am here to help to make sure that you never have to cross the line that would send you into darkness."

They made it back to camp. They made love under the night sky. Merlin awoke before sunrise as usual. He prepared the horses and started breakfast. He was about to wake Leon when he heard Mordred's voice. We are preparing to leave the castle. They could not be persuaded. He is sending Gwaine and Percival, as well.

Try to stay off the main road. Morgana is traveling via a cart with a farmer. The farmer is innocent. He only agreed after Morgana killed his wife and threatened to kill his kids. She may be in disguise. It will be hard but DO NOT OFFER HELP to any villager on the way. Keep me updated. Leon and I are outside a village a day's from Camelot where Morgana took the farmer. We are breaking camp. Keep me updated and have your magic ready.

I will inform the others.

Merlin waved his hand over the camp. He watched it pack up the camp as breakfast was making. He walked to the tent to wake. He quickly told Leon what he learned. Leon was soon dressed and eating as the tent packed itself. Once, they finished eating breakfast. The dishes and cleaned and packed themselves. The were soon riding towards with speed.

Morgana felt my presence. Elyan and Gwaine are down. I have sent the queen with haste to the druid camp. However, Morgana broke battle and gave chase after the queen. I am sorry.

Merlin quickly hollered in Dragontongue summoning both Aithusa and Kilgharrah to find and get the queen to Iseldir's camp. He stopped and took hold of Leon's hand and transported them to Mordred. "Where are they?" Merlin barked.

"Morgana used a transportation spell. I would have to assume that she transported to intercept the queen."

Merlin was about to say something when there was a roar echoed through the air. Merlin did not say anything but just transported himself. Leon took the reins of Merlin's horse and took off in the directions of the roar. Mordred followed.

Merlin appeared behind Morgana. The first thing that he noticed was that Aithusa was standing in between Gwen and Morgana. "She must be sacrificed, and then I can take Camelot. We can live in freedom and not in fear."

"No."

"What happened to you?" Morgana frowned.

"I was healed."

"How and by who?" She continued to frown.

"By my Dragonlod, the one who called me into this world." Aithusa snorted.

"Aithusa take Gwen to druid the camp." Merlin stepped forward roaring in the dragon tongue. "It is over, Morgana. You were never meant to be queen. You never will be queen."

Morgana screamed and threw a fireball towards Merlin. Merlin caught it as Aithusa took to the air with the queen. "You have magic." She spat.

"I do not only have magic. I AM magic." Merlin shrugged.

"How can you protect, Arthur? He will betray you, as you have betrayed me and our people." Morgana glared.

"Arthur is a good and just king. He is a better king than you could ever be. I have betrayed no one. Yes, I poisoned you. However, it was either you or Camelot. I chose Camelot. You chose hatred. I chose love. However, this ends here and now." Merlin snapped as he dodged another fireball.

"I am a High Priestess. You cannot kill me." Morgana grinned.

"You should ask Nimueh about that when you see her." Merlin rose as the sky darkened. Thundered roared. "As a High Priestess, you need the Cup of Life, spells and rituals to imitate the power of Life and Death. However, I AM Magic. I need none of those things!" Merlin shouted as he directed a lightning bolt towards Morgana as he did Nimueh. He watched as she back nothing but scarred earth.

He fell to his knee and curled in on himself and just lay there and cried. He cried. He never noticed the two dragons that surrounded him. He cried himself into darkness. The dragons felt the heartbreak of their dragonlord. They felt his anguish and disgust. They felt his anger and rage. They sighed when he finally gave into the darkness. As he succumbed to the mental and emotional pain, the two dragons entrenched themselves in a protective circle of fire.

It was this scene that the druid approached from the south and Leon and the other approached from the north. It was a bright circle of blue and white fire. The druids watched in amazement. They had only heard stories. "You must let me enter. He is my husband." Leon faced Kilgharrah.

"My duties to my Dragonlord take precedence. He has been forced to do something that he did not want. He has entered darkness weighted by the demands of those expect too much of him. None but dragons and dragonlords can enter the circle of healing dragon fire. This is a battle that he must fight on his own and without interference. The only voices or presence he can recognize in this state are dragons. This circle of fire has a similar effect as the Crystal Cave but not quite because it is more exclusive." Kilgharrah stated.

The Great Dragon continued to glare. He roared into the sky. "You and the druids had your chance to heal him. You failed. It is has now fallen to his kin to heal him. I can assure you that he will not be the same when he wakes."

"You are manipulated, bastard." Leon spat.

"I saw the future and all the paths. I saw the heartache, anguish, anger and darkness that it would result for my kin. I tried to get him to take the path that would cause temporary sadness but would lead to greater life. It is something that you knight failed to realize. I will admit that you were right about the druid, but this is the result of yours, the druids, and the king and queen selfish blindness."

"Where has he gone?" Mordred stepped forward. "I can no longer feel the presence of Emrys."

Aithusa spat. "He has always been more than Emrys. He was a dragonlord, before he was Emrys. He has been taken to commune and heal with his ancestors. He was never meant to be a servant. His blood is old an ancient. Men and druids are fickled and short minded. It has only been three decades, since the kingdom was laid to waste but look to the west. The isle is healing. The castle of Ambrosius has been restored."

"That is not possible." Iseldir stated.

"Why because you say it is so? Everyone wants to consider me evil and manipulative. If Balinor had not ordered me to swear an oath of secrecy about his heritage till a time of peace of safety, just before I was taken prisoner; then I would have told Merlin when he first came to Camelot. However, there were many that knew the truth. Uther and Gaius both knew that Balinor was the Crowned Prince. It is one of the main reasons why Uther would trail across boundary lines to kill him." The dragon turned to Iseldir. "Even, two of your current Elders knew the truth. Yet, they remained silent. What are your excuses? None of you were bound as I was."

"We were just trying to do something good for Merlin. We are far from selfish." Gwen glared.

"Really, were not warned that Morgana was after you? Were you not warned before you left the castle that she was nearby? Were you not warned to remain inside the castle?"

"Yes, Arthur was warned by both Leon and Merlin. Mordred informed us that she was nearby, and Merlin had stated that I must leave." Gwen stated.

"So, what is your excuse for leaving? You forced a situation that was not supposed to happen, yet. Your selfish desires and whims caused this. This confrontation was not supposed to happen for another six months when Merlin was fully healed mentally and emotionally. So, tell me queen, what was your and Arthur's response yesterday when Mordred tried again at Merlin behest to get you and Arthur to change your minds. Why did Mordred have to hedge the truth to keep from hurting Merlin?"

Leon glared at Mordred, who shuffled his feet. "What was your response?" Kilgharrah roared.

"I stated that we were doing this Merlin. I told him that everything would be fine. Arthur stated that Merlin tended to overexaggerate the situation. I agreed with him also stating that if Morgana wanted then she could have teleported herself into the lower town. Arthur stated that I would be safe because the Knights of the Round Table and Merlin ensure it." Gwen stated with her head held high.

"So, you chose to ignore Merlin's warnings. You chose not to trust in him. You chose not to ask further questions. Did you not think to ask Mordred why Morgana did not just teleport into the lower town? Did you not think to question why she had to get a villager to take her past the gates?"

"No, we did not see a reason to question." Gwen stated.

Kilgharrah turned to Mordred. "Mordred, the druid knight, why did Morgana have to get a villager to take her into the lower town?"

"There is a shield over the lower town and castle to prevent teleportation and uninvited visitors. She would have had to have villager voucher for her in disguise to get guards to grant access thus inviting her into the lower town thus granting her access to the castle." Mordred stated his head held high.

"Why did you not say so?" Gwen stated.

"I tried to tell you that Merlin said that the castle was the safest place. You and Arthur both argued and not asking me to explain why or give me the chance to explain why. You and Arthur both flat out stated that your decisions were final. I had no choice but to follow orders." Mordred stated.

Leon growled. "Merlin was right. I knew I should have taken him away from here."

"Yes, you should have. You always tell Merlin to follow his heart and instincts. Yet, you do not." Kilgharrah sighed. "However, what is done is done. We can only hope that his ancestors can heal and guide him now. He will return as a king. The isle of Draconis is waiting to welcome him. Even now her people are returning. The cave of future dragons has been unsealed. The future has been altered drastically. Arthur remains the Once and Future king. Albion will still be united but not with Merlin at his side. However, the Golden Age will be short. It will not be magic that will be her downfall but man. Yours and Arthur's refusal to truly listen and trust Merlin have sealed your fates." Kilgharrah turned his back on the group and curled around his kin. As the sky began to weep and shed Merlin's tears.

Aithusa faced Leon and Iseldir. "I would suggest you all seek shelter. The rain and brewing storms will be here for a while. The sky is shedding Merlin's tears. The storms will release his rage. I would suggest that if you wish to remain with Emrys that you move to his isle. For when he returns, he will take up his throne. He will shield the isle and Avalon and remove them from this realm till the time of the return of the Once and Future King. The magic in the land will be repressed. This future is sealed and cannot be altered." The young dragon sighed and began to turn away from the group.

"Where can I find this isle?" Percival asked.

The young dragon sighed. "I am not allowed to reveal the location. I honestly do not know if you or friend there will be welcomed. You will have a short period of time when Merlin returns to locate the isle and ask to be welcomed. I just cannot guarantee his response." The dragon finally turned away and curled around the unopened protection. They watched as the two dragons covered their dragonlord hiding him completely.

Meanwhile, the darkness that surrounded Merlin gave way to a bright light. Merlin moved towards it. Once, he neared the light, he saw two figures both with crowns. "Father." Merlin asked hesitantly.

"Yes, my son."

"I thought I could not die." Merlin frowned.

"You have not. However, your emotions were tearing you apart. You were not ready to face Morgana; however, they forced your hand. You have been pulled into what some would call the place between life and death. We, your ancestors, have come to help heal you. The future has been and altered. Camelot has sealed her fate." Balinor stated.

"I have failed." Merlin began to cry in anguish.

A beautiful lady appeared. "You have not failed, Merlin Emrys Ambrosius. It is Arthur and Gwen that have failed you. However, you are still need. Magic and her beings still need a guide and protection till the time when the Once and Future King shall return to fulfill his purpose."

"Why would you want a monster and murderer to protect your people?" Merlin stated.

"You are no monster nor murderer. You are a leader and king. You are the last of the Ambrosius line. It is time that you claimed your rightful place. However, you must first rest and heal, my grandson." The other man wrapped his around Merlin as he wept without crying.

Leon removed his Camelot gear at Gwen's feet. "I am no longer a knight of Camelot, where Merlin goes, I go." He turned to Iseldir. "We must pack up the house and camp. I will be waiting for him on the isle." Leon turned to leave. Mordred did the same and followed the former knight and Iseldir.

Gwen handed over the pouch of coins. "It is rightfully, Merlin's."

Leon took the pouch, and then he gave it to Percival. "I know Merlin will want you and Gwaine to remain with Arthur. Please see that his mother receives it. We will not need it."

For months, Camelot was bathed in rain, wind and lightning. Arthur and Gwen were saddened and heartbroken. They continued with changing the laws and planning for renewing of treaties. Then suddenly in the middle of the day, the rain suddenly stopped, and the sun came out shining brightly. Arthur, Percival and Gwaine instantly rode out to where the dragons were hoping to speak with Merlin. However, when they arrived the area was empty as if no one was ever there for 6 months. They rode back to Camelot resigned to never see their friend again.

Merlin arrived on the isle of Draconis. He was greeted by his husband who took him in his arms. Within six months all magic was suppressed deep within the earth. Many sacred sites and isles were removed from the mortal realm. The mortal realm fell into the Dark Ages. The witch hunts and burning soon began to hunt down those that remained behind. Those on the isle of Draconis saw the prosperity and peace. Dragons were born and dragonlords were revived. This continues century after century under the just and loving rule of its king and his consort.