The Dursleys had just sat down to eat breakfast when the doorbell rang. Vernon Dursley, muttering about how people should have the decencey to wait until after breakfast to conduct buisness, went to answer it. He paused slightly in the hall, the barest trace of a shudder running down his spine. But he ignored it and opened the door.
"Hello, muggle." sneered a tall, hooded man as he pushed his way into the house. Several more hooded and masked people followed.
"Who are you, and what business do you have bursting into my home?!" Vernon began to bellow, but just after the 'Who', all the intruders lowered their hoods and took off their masks.
With a flick of a stick in the leader's hand, Vernon was tied up. The man -surely one of Harry's freak friends- muttered some mumbo jumbo and floated him into the kitchen. Petuna and Dudley were both tied up as well.
Just then, they heard thumping on the stairs. A tousled-haired and angry looking Harry came into the room, Dudley's old clothes making him look like a elephant that had suddenly shrunk five hundred sizes. He stopped when he saw the Death Eaters.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded. Voldemort laughed.
"I've come to kill you, of course." he answered, "I discovered how."
Harry frowned. "That's nice, Voldy, but I want to eat first, okay?"
"Don't call him 'Voldy'!" shouted Bellatrix.
Voldemort pulled out his wand. "Too bad. I'm going to kill you before it's too late. Now, first I need all the blood realitives of Lilly Potter to give me permission to kill you."
Harry brightened, "Oh, I'm a blood realitive of Lilly Potter. That means you need my permission, too?"
Voldemort frowned. "No, I don't. I just need their's." he looked expectantly at Petunia and Dudley. Both were staring at him in shock.
"You- you want to kill Harry?" Petunia whispered. A wide smile spread across her face.
"Can I have your autograph?" clamoured Dudley.
"I guess you freaks aren't all that bad." Vernon mused.
"You want to kill Harry!" they all shouted in glee. "You want to kill Harry!"
"Yes, yes." Voldemort said serenely, "but I need your permission."
"YIPPY!" shouted Petunia, "Kill him! Kill him! Please, please, please!"
"Yeah, I want to see him die, too!" Dudley agreed.
Voldemort smiled. Perhaps they wouldn't need to die after all. He pointed his wand at Harry, who was sulking that his cousin and Aunt had betrayed him to easily.
"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort shouted. A jet of green light issued from his wand, and hit Harry... But then it bounced!
"What?" Voldemort cried, "No, this can't be happening." the curse hit him striaght in the chest. "AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!"
The Death Eaters looked at Harry, who gave him his best scary-teen-who-just-defeated-their-leader look, and they all ran away. Many days later they were to be found hiding in the cuboard under the stairs, taking orders from their new leader, Peeves the Poltergeist. But for now, the three Dursleys sat down while Harry made their breakfast, depressed becuase he hadn't been killed.
"Oh, shucks." Petunia said, looking at the melted heap that used to be Voldemort, "I forgot that Lilly was adopted."