Title: 'Twas the Night of the Mission
Author: Maria 'Ria' Lucas
Category: Humor/Poetry
Summary: It's more fun if you just read it. Enjoy!! ;)
Disclaimer: Because I must, here you go: Stargate: SG1 and all characters associated with the television show belong to MGM, World Gekko Corp, Double Secret, and USA/Sci-Fi Network. I maka no money here, baby. If that doesn't satisfy you, nothing will!!! Smooches Peace Love and Happiness. ;P
'Twas the Night of the Mission'Twas the night of the mission, and on P123,
O'Neill was still sleepin' with his P90.
Teal'c was on guard on his rocky chair,
Goa'uld, watch out, you better beware.
Carter and Jonas chatted about this and that,
Calculations and theories, debating each fact.
The moon was out and the wind did not stir,
Yet still it was cold and the Colonel went "Burr."
Then with a start Jack O'Neill did awake,
Looking to the others, "Was that an earthquake?"
When out in the forest they heard some Zat fire,
Teal'c sprang from his perch, "I fear something dire."
Away they did run through trees that were bare,
To a clearing in the forest to see what was there.
As the moon shone upon them and down into a clearing,
O'Neill and the gang saw what they were fearing;
There before them were two groups afighting,
One of which was definitely worth smiting.
The Jaffa were there, staffs and zats in hand
Threatening to destroy a small rebel band.
"Teal'c to the left, and take Jonas to,
Carter you're with me. Stop! Look out behind you!"
Down Carter went, rolling away from a foe,
Just in time to miss a fatal blow.
O'Neill pulled out his gun bypassing his Zat,
Firing at the guy knocking off his funky hat.
"That will teach you! Don't mess with us!
Now Carter get up, stop making a fuss."
Off they went shooting here and there,
Both emptied their clips and had one left to spare.
"Carter, use your Zat and I'll take this last one
Because sometimes I like just using my gun."
Just then they saw a woman across the field,
A Goa'uld who'd much power...a lot to wield.
"Stand back you humans for I am a god!"
"Go play somewhere else you ugly jerk wad!"
Taking exception to O'Neill's snappy come back,
The Goa'uld turned to him, instantly hating Jack.
Up from behind her, O'Neill saw Teal'c sneak,
A smile on his lips, he pitied the Goa'uld geek.
Raising his staff Teal'c was ready to shoot,
Then down he went as he was kicked by a boot.
Before it was over, and Teal'c was dead meat,
Jonas came to his rescue, knocking the attacker off his feet.
The rebels, still fighting, shooting left and right,
Until there wasn't a Jaffa standing in sight.
"Surrender you Goa'uld or we'll throw water on ya,
Melting ya where you stand, like a wicked witch ought a"
The Goa'uld looked them over with menacing eyes
"You pitiful humans, I'll squish you like flies!"
Down came her ship, a monstrous hulk,
Blocking the moon with its massive bulk.
"Now fire on them! Shoot! Laser them dead!
But save Jack O'Neill. I want his head!
Do it NOW, Do it QUICKLY! Before they take cover!
Make sure it hurts! I want them to SUFFER!"
The ship started firing at everything below,
O'Neill shouted to his teammates, "Go! Go! Go! Go!"
Under rocks, under bushes, the rebels did fly,
SG-1 took position as they aimed for the sky.
Aiming rocket launchers they'd hid in a bush,
They let the rockets fly with a really loud whoosh.
The ship, shuttering, went ablaze with such fire.
Just to be sure they aimed a bit higher.
Finally exploding the ship did go down
Upon the Goa'uld who wore a large frown.
But before she was engulfed she shouted once more,
"Do you think you've beat me? Are you so sure?"
Then before their eyes, rings rose from the ground,
And the Goa'uld was gone without a sound.
The beam of light shot into the air,
And all they could do was gape and stare.
"You've gotta be kidding me! After all that we've done!
There's no way in hell for that Goa'uld to have won!"
Carter stared at the Col., catching his gaze,
"With all due respect, Sir, did you forget the next phase?"
Looking up towards space, everyone watched,
Realizing at once that the plan was not botched.
The mother ship in flames, destroyed by Asgard fleet.
All O'Neill said was, "Oh, now that's really sweet."