Feedback on this fic would be very much appreciated. ^_^

Summary: Hisoka discovers the reason behind Tsuzuki's antics.

Legal disclaimer: Yami no Matsuei and its characters are property of Matsushita-sensei and whoever else owns them. This story, however, is mine. Please don't sue me, because I'm merely writing this for fun. Besides, I have no money! Fun puts a smile on my face, but it doesn't put money in my pocket.


Until the Day I Smile

by Literary Eagle


I think it's fairly safe to say that I did not have a normal life. At least, I would assume that being an empath, spending childhood locked in a lonely room, and finally being killed by a horrible curse is not considered typical fare. And ever since I became a Shinigami, I have been witness to a multitude of strange phenomena. Magical birds, ancient spells, deals with demons, the stuff of legend brought to life... I have seen all that and more.

Therefore, I probably shouldn't have been surprised at the sight that greeted me when I entered the office this morning, and yet I couldn't stop myself from inquiring about it anyway. "Tsuzuki," I said, "Why is there a tree growing out of your head?"

"Oh, this?" Tsuzuki said cheerfully, gesturing at the sapling standing proudly atop his hair, "Watari asked me to try out a new herbal shampoo that he created in the lab. I guess it was a little too herbal, hmm? But it's cool, because I think this is a peach tree! When it grows big, it'll be full of yummy peaches!"

"You idiot!" I snapped, "If you let the tree grow that big, the weight of it will break your neck!"

Tsuzuki's eyes widened, then filled up with tears. "Waaaaaaaah!" he cried, "I don't want to die!"

"Idiot. You're already dead," I reminded him with a sigh, "Besides, I'm sure Watari will find an antidote before it's too late."

"Oh, Watari already made the antidote," Tsuzuki said happily, his tears forgotten.

"WHAT?!"

Tsuzuki nodded, startling a tiny bird which was trying to build a nest on his head. "Watari already created an antidote. He has a bottle of it in the lab. It's just that I wanted you to see the tree before I got rid of it, because it's so cool..."

"Idiot," I grumbled, turning around to leave the office.

"Hisoka? Where are you going?" asked Tsuzuki.

I gave him one last glare before turning away again. "I'm going to Watari's lab, of course. I'm going to fetch the antidote, because I certainly don't trust you to get it... You would probably let Watari trick you into trying some other crazy thing."

"Oh," said Tsuzuki, "Are you sure you don't want to decorate this tree with some popcorn first? I've seen people on TV use popcorn chains to decorate trees, and it looks like fun..."

I stomped out of the office before he could say anything else.


By the time I had reached the hallway leading to Watari's lab, I was still fuming. That crazy Tsuzuki, keeping a tree on his head because he wanted me to see it! And why? Because he wanted me to decorate it with popcorn chains! That idiot! I knew that Tsuzuki was perfectly capable of doing good work... he was the most powerful Shinigami, after all... so why did he have to act so silly? It was infuriating.

My thoughts were interrupted when I realized that there was music coming from the lab. As I got closer to the entrance, I recognized it as a piece from "Swan Lake". How strange.

It got even stranger when I actually stepped into the lab. I saw that several birds - including Watari's little owl, 003 - were wearing tiny pink ballet tutus and dancing to the music. Standing near them was Watari himself, although thankfully he was wearing his usual lab coat and not a tutu.

"Ah... Watari-san?" I said, backing up when a pink-clad penguin pirouetted a little too close to me.

"Oh, hiya kiddo!" said Watari, lowering the volume on the stereo so that his distinctly-accented voice could be heard over the music, "Whatcha doin' here?"

"Sorry to interrupt your... work," I said, barely avoiding a toucan as it pranced by, "But may I please have the antidote for Tsuzuki's tree problem?"

Handing me a bottle filled with blue liquid, Watari smiled and said, "Tell Tsuzuki ta drink dis, and da tree will plop right off."

Thanking him, I prepared to leave, but turned around when curiosity got the better of me. "Um... exactly what is going on here?" I said, gesturing at the dancing birds.

Watari beamed proudly. "Dis is da latest attempt at creatin' da perfect sex-change potion! And dis time, I'm sure it'll work!"

I stared at Watari, then stared at the dancing birds, and then stared at Watari again. "What does this have to do with a sex-change potion?" I asked, completely baffled.

"It's all in da music, kiddo!" Watari gushed, "Ya see, 'Swan Lake' was a ballet about a swan who transformed into da beautiful Princess Odette. So if my birdie friends dance ta dis music, I'm hopin' dat it will generate plenty of feminine energy... yes, feminine energy dat will finally turn me into a woman!"

"And just how do you plan on harvesting this 'feminine energy'?" I asked, even though it probably wasn't a good idea to encourage such ridiculous thoughts.

"Oh, I'll just pluck off some of da birdies' feathers and add 'em to da potion," Watari said casually.

However, the birds weren't so casual about this revelation. In fact, they froze in their tracks, and 003's eyes grew wide... um, even wider than they usually were. "Pluck off our feathers?!" squawked one of them, a parrot.

With that, 003 and the other birds tossed off their tutus and frantically flew out of the lab. Well, except for the penguin, who had to settle for frantically waddling out of the lab.

"Hey, come back!" Watari called out, "I won't need dat many feathers! Just a few!"

Several minutes passed, and none of the birds returned. But just as Watari sighed in defeat, 003 fluttered back into the room and perched upon his shoulder. The tiny owl affectionately nuzzled the side of Watari's face, causing him to smile.

I can't explain it, but something about that scene just grabbed me and wouldn't let go. "Watari-san?" I said cautiously, "Do you know why Tsuzuki... acts so weird sometimes?"

"Weird? Is somethin' wrong, kiddo?"

"Please don't misunderstand me," I said quickly, "I still want to be partners with him. I know that he cares about me, and I want to protect him too... It's just that sometimes he starts telling dumb jokes or doing really silly stunts in front of me, and it drives me crazy!"

Watari petted 003 thoughtfully for a moment. "Lemme see if I got dis right... Yer sayin' dat ya care about each other, even if Tsuzuki drives ya nuts sometimes?"

"Something like that, yes," I replied.

"Dat's great!" said Watari, winking at me, "It means dat Tsuzuki is yer family!"

"My... family?" I said, surprised.

But before I could ask Watari any more questions, we suddenly heard Tatsumi's voice shouting from down the hall: "WHAT ARE THESE BIRDS DOING IN MY OFFICE?!"

Watari laughed nervously. "Oops, gotta run," he said, dashing out of the lab, "Say hi ta Tsuzuki fer me, kiddo!"


As I headed back towards the office that Tsuzuki and I shared, I kept thinking about what Watari had said. Tsuzuki was my family. My family? As I thought about it, I realized that it made sense. Bizarre antics aside, he treated me with kindness and respect. He really was more like family than my parents had ever been. Tsuzuki would never call me a monster because of my powers, or lock me away to pretend that I didn't exist...

I felt a pang of guilt just then. Who was I to yell at Tsuzuki for his weird jokes, when I wasn't normal either? "Tsuzuki?" I said, stepping into the office, "I got the antidote from Watari. And... I'm sorry for shouting before..."

But the only response I got was snores. Tsuzuki was asleep at his desk, and it wasn't even lunchtime yet! For some odd reason, the little tree on his head seemed to be swaying in time to his snoring. Oh well, such silliness suited him perfectly.

Shrugging, I placed the antidote bottle on his desk, so he could drink it when he woke up. Normally I wouldn't let him sleep on the job, but I decided that this was a good opportunity to practice saying something that I wanted to get just right... "Tsuzuki," I whispered, "Thank you for being my family."

Tsuzuki murmured something, and I froze. Had he heard me? But then he started snoring again, and I realized that he was just babbling in his sleep.

Seeking the comfort of routine, I sat down at my desk to get a bit of work done. That's when I overheard Tsuzuki talking in his sleep some more...

"Someday, Hisoka... One day I'll succeed in making you smile... Mmm, apple pie... Zzzzzz..."

So that was it! Tsuzuki's clowning around was an attempt to make me smile! It seemed so painfully obvious now that he had said it. I sighed and shook my head... Not at Tsuzuki, but at myself. It was embarrassing that I was an empath but still had so much difficulty understanding people. Clearly, sensing people's emotions wasn't the same as comprehending them.

"I'm sorry, Tsuzuki, I'm not sure that I'm ready to smile yet," I whispered, "But, until the day I smile, could you please smile for the both of us? As long as you're happy, deep down I'll be happy too, even if I'm not sure how to express that right now."

As if on cue, Tsuzuki's snoring abated, and his features settled into a peaceful smile that set me at peace as well.


Author's notes: Um... I had a dream about a tree growing out of Tsuzuki's head, so I decided to make a fan fic out of it. ^^;;; Special thanks go to my prereader Firebird for putting up with my weirdness! Heh.

Anyway, thanks for reading! If you have any feedback to help me improve my writing, I would really appreciate it!

-Literary Eagle, 2002