This is my submission for a friend's challenge, Simon's Advent Calendar Challenge. My prompt was December 11th- Jesus. I haven't written much Simon before… so I'm really hoping you guys enjoy!
Warnings: A lil' bit of angst, and then some fluff :):)
Bamby
Christmas. I love Christmas. For as long as I could remember, I'd loved the cheery, merry season. The snow. The presents. The food. The music. The festivities. The family gatherings. The clothes. The decorating. Everything about Christmas was amazing. It was a magical season.
Unfortunately, the end of the world kinda put a sour note through any and all possible and previously celebrated holidays… even my beloved Christmas.
Being one of Negan's Saviours meant I got a lot of privileges. But as I looked out the window of the truck I was seated in, watching the snow fall to the already white ground below… I knew nothing was going to get me the Christmas I so desperately wanted.
"You okay?"
I looked to my left, to the friendly and familiar face behind the wheel. Simon.
Simon was a peculiar person.
I could honestly say his personality would have intimidated me back in the day. His wide grin could sometimes appear false and an exaggeration of what he was really feeling. Simon was the kind of guy who could be overbearingly friendly, to the point of scaring any potential conversation away. I had no doubt he knew his smile could invoke feelings of fear and discomfort, and I had no doubt that prompted him to grin wider every time.
There were other quirks about him, namely his moustache. I wasn't particularly a lover of feature pieces on faces, but I couldn't imagine Simon without the handle bar moustache he'd had on display since the moment I'd met him all those years ago. It wasn't wild or untamed, it was actually neat and fairly maintained. He never said anything about it, but I had a feeling he took pride in the 'stache.
To top it all off, he was tall. Sometimes, in moments where his authority took place from his friendly nature, he towered over most- if not all- people. Even when the anger wasn't aimed my way, he made me feel like a measly mouse looking up at an aggravated giraffe on the edge of violence.
Oh, and let's not forget about the fact that even though he looked lanky and thin due to his long limbs and tall body, he was actually ripped. I'd been graced with the opportunity to see him shirtless during a rather hot and humid run we'd been sent on months ago. We'd all been given a moment to relax and cool down by a lake we'd come across. But, let's just say, I did not get to cool down much after the sight of his toned form flexing before my eyes.
Like I said, he's peculiar. Definitely an interesting character.
But despite my interest in his personality- and my admiration of his glorious body- nothing had happened between. Why? Good question. The years separating us played a part, I suppose.
Ages weren't really something most people bothered with these days. Time was a measurement that had generally been forgotten and left behind by the majority- but not all- of the population. But I could still tell Simon was older than me. Where I was in my late twenties he was somewhere either close to or in his fifties.
His receding hairline and the shadow of grey hair was a giveaway of his age. The wrinkles that formed when his large and overly friendly smile came into place were another hint. The callouses on his hands told stories of hard work over many years that stretched over a time that lapsed into the years from the days of the world and lives we once knew.
Another reason for the lack of action between us was the fact that Simon had never made a move. He was a friend and had always acted that way.
When I'd been brought in by some Saviours and had been offered the opportunity to join their cause, he'd volunteered to take me under his wings. I'd thought he would have tried something, maybe flirted a little, but all I ever got was nice.
For example, he always let me ride shotgun, instead of making me sit in the back with everyone else. He always made sure there was a seat for me at his table in the dining hall. He always made sure I had plenty of emergency supplies and ammo when we went out on runs. He always made sure everything was working perfectly in my room.
I appreciated this, of course, but I was also aware of the fact that all this meant he was undoubtedly not interested.
"Hey, Earth to Fai." Simon waved his hand in front of my face, pulling my attention back to him and away from my thoughts.
"Oh, uh… huh?" I asked, forgetting his question.
A smile tugged on his lips, his eyes back on the road. "I asked if you were okay." He reminded me.
Sighing, I leaned back so I was partially leaning against the back of my chair and the door beside me. "What do you think it'll take to convince Negan to do something for Christmas?"
His smile faltered for a moment as he contemplated my question. "Christmas? You wanna do something for Christmas?"
"Yeah." I nodded casually, trying not to seem so eager about the fact he hadn't shut the question down with a laugh. "Like, maybe we could get a tree and put it down in the factory for everyone. And we could scavenge for some things people could buy to give as presents. And we could have a Christmas dinner made in the main kitchen." I shrugged. "Something like that."
"I don't know…" His smile was nowhere in sight as he said his next words. "The favour won't be easy."
That meant two things. One, the favour would be sexual. Or two, the favour would be deadly.
Negan had expressed interest in me before, but I wasn't the kind of girl that wanted to get mixed up with a guy who has the amount of power he has. Plus, to be honest… he scared the crap out of me.
So, that left option two. Negan had a list of jobs waiting to be done. If someone wanted something special that would cost more points or use valuable resources, they could do one of the jobs for him. But, most of the time, you didn't come back from wherever he'd sent you.
Letting my head drop back against the window, I sighed once more. "Seriously, all I want is a little bit of Christmas. It's not like I'm asking for fireworks on New Years of something. Just a tree would be fine." I mumbled, turning my head so it was still against the glass but so I could also look out at the snow.
The roads were covered. With the lack of movement these days the snow fell freely to the ground, covering everything in its wake. The only bare patches were where the truck in front of us had disturbed the white covered road, but that would all be covered before night falls.
"Why do you want it so much?"
Lifting my head, I looked to Simon again. "Huh?"
"Christmas. Why do you want it so much?" He repeated himself, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.
"I don't know. Just 'cause." I tried to shrug it off, not wanting to tell him the truth. I was supposed to be a big bad Saviour, not a softie.
But he wasn't buying it. "Come on, seriously. Tell me. I promise I won't laugh or judge or whatever your worried about."
Watching him, seeing him focussing on the road ahead, the elbow of his left arm resting on the door as his other arm sat on his knee, his hand stretched out so it could rest on the gear stick, I gathered he was only asking to keep the conversation flowing. He didn't exactly look interested. He just wanted something to talk about.
"Christmas was a big deal with my family." I explained. "We were all scattered across the country but we all managed to come together every year. We'd all meet up at the family cabin for a couple of weeks. The cabin was only ever used for holidays and special occasions, but Christmas was when it really came to life."
"Big family?"
"Yeah." I laughed lightly, remembering the multitude of cousins I'd had. "Huge family." The smile stayed on my lips as I reminisced the past holidays. "We did it all. A group of us would go out, chop down a tree and lug it inside. The kids would cover it in decorations… which the adults would fix up later so it didn't look like an explosion of tinsel." He chuckled at that.
"But the best part was the family gift we got." I continued. "Every year my Gran would wrap up these little wooden nativity statues that had been passed down for generations. She'd stick one piece in the tree every day, and whoever found it got to set it on the mantel piece. On Christmas morning the last piece was added to the collection."
Simon glanced over at me, a little surprised. "Never pictured you as the religious type."
"Oh, I'm not." I insisted. "But I am a sucker for family traditions, and that set was gorgeous. Especially the Jesus piece. That was always the last one, and my Gran knew how much I loved it, so she always told me where she'd put it in the tree." I looked down at my lap, smiling to myself.
The whole set had been beautiful. Each piece sat nicely in the palm of my grown adult hand. They'd been hand crafted and painted. They'd almost looked like they'd been made from clay, they were so detailed.
My smile turned sad. "The last Christmas we'd had my uncle had gotten a little too drunk. It wasn't odd, really… but it had been the first Christmas after my Gran had passed." My smile fell completely. "He threw the set into the fire during an emotional breakdown, I left the day after… on Christmas eve."
...
The conversation had dropped pretty quickly after I'd told Simon the fate of the nativity figurines. I hadn't been in much of a talkative mood after that, and I guess my story had taken a depressing enough turn that left him speechless- not that I blamed him, I had well and truly soiled the ride.
A few days had passed since then, and I hadn't seen much of Simon during that time. We mainly saw each other in passing. He rarely stayed in the dining hall for diner. He was always off doing some kind of work I wasn't aware of. He didn't even come down to the common room the Saviours spent their free time in, and he was usually there most nights.
I guess I'd spoiled more than just the car ride…
Asking Negan about Christmas was a no-go. I didn't even bother.
Simon was right. I'd have to do something I wouldn't want to do. As much as I wanted to celebrate the season, to bring back a little bit of the joy that had once been in my life, I didn't want to risk doing something I'd regret or doing something that would get me killed.
Busy working now, I was on guard duty on the factory floor. The roster rotated frequently, so I didn't spend a lot of my time around the workers like this, which I usually preferred. Sometimes I couldn't curb my guilt. But today I was grateful. Being in here meant I wasn't out in the snow.
"Fai." Laura, a fellow Saviour and- kind of- friend, came over to me. "Boss number two wants to see you."
"Simon wants to see me?" I gave her a hesitant look. "You sure you got the right person?"
After days of minimal contact and conversation, I highly doubted he wanted to see me.
"You know any other short blonde chick named Faith?" She asked impatiently. "Look, I was just given the order, I don't ask questions. Simon said he wants you to go see him in his quarters. I'm supposed to stay here and take over your watch. That's all I know."
Understanding that my lack of movement was getting on her nerves, I simply gave a simple nod and walked off.
On the way to Simon's quarters I felt my nerves bubble. I'd only ever been to his place a handful of times, and that had mainly been when I'd had to grab him for an emergency, or when he'd needed help bringing supplies up to his room. Other than that, the place was foreign.
Tugging on the sleeves of my jacket, I looked down at myself to make sure I was presentable. If I had to go to his room then whatever he needed me for was important, and there was no way in hell I was going to show up looking like a slob.
My dark denim jeans were a little dusty but I just brushed that off as I walked down the winding halls. My light grey shirt had a few creases in it, but there was nothing I could do about that except zip my thick and heavy jacket up. I'd thrown on a navy beanie, a pair of dark grey fingerless gloves, and my usual black work boots, which was all fine. Luckily, I'd washed my hair last night, and had decided to leave the waves falling down my back
It was as good as I was gonna get.
Reaching Simon's door, I took a deep breath and braced myself before lifting my hand to knock lightly on the wood in front of me. A few seconds passed before the door opened just enough so Simon could stand between the door and the frame as he looked down at me.
"Fai!" He beamed, wide smile spread on his face. "Just in time, I was about to start making the cookie dough."
I raised a confused eyebrow as I looked up at him, my nerves dying down at his absurd words. I had no idea what he was going on about, and I was seriously beginning to wonder if he'd hit his head or something.
"Cookie dough?"
Smile still firmly in place, I pushed the door open the rest of the way, letting to swing to the other side until it hit the wall. Now I could see into his apartment, and what I saw left my speechless.
Jaw hanging open, eyes taking in everything, I stepped through the doorway as Simon took a step to the side.
The whole apartment had been decked out in Christmas decorations. Tinsel, Christmas lights, stockings, it all hang around the open apartment. A tree sat in the corner, decorated from top to bottom in shiny gold and bronze ornaments. Carols played in the background, light enough not to disturb any conversation, but loud enough to add to the ambience. The smell of hot chocolate and candy canes wafted from the small kitchen to my left. Blankets and pillows were set close to the few presents that sat under the tree.
Slowly, after taking a few minutes to absorb the scene, I turned to Simon as he stood beside me, hands on hips and smile still in place, his own eyes looking at the room proudly.
"You did all of this… for me?"
Looking down at me, he gave a short nod. "You said you wanted Christmas, so here it is." He gestured to the room. "I brewed some homemade hot chocolate, even managed to find some candy canes that hadn't gone to shit, and I chopped the tree myself."
My heart swelled and my eyes blurred as happy tears threatened to spill.
This man… this scary, overbearing, loud mouthed and intimidating man who helped lead and maintain our people and home, a man who could equally be threatening and welcoming… he'd done all of this, for me.
Oblivious to my emotions, Simon hurried forward, moving over to the tree to grab one of the presents, before coming over to me. "Before you do anything else, you have to open this." He told me, trying to hide his excitement.
I grabbed the present from him, noticing how nicely it had been wrapped. "Okay, now you might have done everything else, but you had to have help wrapping this." I teased.
"Shut up and open it already."
Chuckling lightly, still trying not to cry, I ripped into the paper of the gift. As I tore into the paper I found that the gift had been wrapped in tissue paper. Ripping into that, I eventually got to the centre. I sucked in a breath as my fingers pried the gift out from the wrapping.
A baby Jesus figurine.
It was small, sitting nicely in the palm of my hand. It was wooden, handcrafted. The details weren't as perfect as the original, and it hadn't been painted, but it was just as beautiful, if not more.
"I saw the look on your face in the truck. I could tell how much Christmas means to you. And I knew you missed your family traditions." Simon started, looking down at me, his smile not as wide as intimidating. It was sweet and gentle now. "I know what we have here isn't perfect, and I know life can be a real bitch these days, but I thought you deserved a little something special."
Slow tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked up at him, clutching the gift to my chest. "Thank you."
Bamby