Note* This is a sequel to my 'Confused and Evil' story. Hopefully you enjoy it.

Truth behind the Problematic

This is something I absolutely will not do. And have never thought about doing. They were all delusional.

I charged out of the room shedding angry and unforgiving tears. I cared not who was behind me and overlook all hypocrites, I was going to tell. If it made me a snitch then so be it. If it made me the kings' whore, again, so be it. But no one will take him from me!

I felt someone grip my arm and guide me roughly towards the wall.

"Listen to us!" Cleitus whispered in my ear as he held me against the wall trying to calm me down. I was furious. My eyes were flamed in hate and I tried pushing him away.

I didn't want to listen. What I had already heard was enough.

"We know this is hard. We know how difficult this is for you. But we have to. He's not himself."

I glared. How dare they speak for him? How dare this nobody, tell me that Alexander hasn't been himself lately. I know Alexander by heart. He's still the same. He could only show that side to those who he could trust and it was a pity, a huge shame that he couldn't even trust his own men who had given up so immensely on him.

"I won't do this. I have already told you once. Let go of me." I should have yelled, but I didn't. I was too angry and when I'm upset my voice is quiet as if I could barley talk.

"He needs this. Do you think we are doing this because we want to? We're doing this for him, for you, for all of us. You can't stand here before us all and deny this. Don't be selfish."

Calling me selfish, because I am trying to save a life? My stomach began to hurt.

"The only ones selfish here are you ignorant men who once called him king and friend, bowed before him, grew up with him and I am the one trying to protect him, help him through everything and you call me selfish? Hades with you all then!"

My voice scared even myself. I have never thought I would ever curse anyone to hell before. Right now it felt good.

I saw Parmenion walking out the room and he looked calmly at me.

How could he be so calm right now? I know. It's because they are not the ones who are being asked to murder the king. their friend. their lover.

"Hephaistion, we know this is hard for you to understand but he will get rid of us all. We ask you please to join us." The older general tried to reason.

I'm sick of him and his attempt at reason. "You can go fuck yourself!" I spat at him. How could he and Cleitus shame there King that way. He has given them everything.

I've heard some weird things, some impossible things come from my Alexander's mouth but this was different. This was impossible. They wanted me to understand them? And for what. They hardly took the time to understand him. Now they want to poison him and they want me to be apart of it.

My mind was rolling. Spinning. Everything a mind shouldn't do before one went completely insane.

I started to really feel for Alexander. This is what he must have felt like when his parents would spin lies in his head, when they fought over him, when they forced him at such a young age to make a decision.

How selfish of me? How selfish of them! Nothing could stop the tears from streaming down my face. I struggled trying to get loose from Cleitus again but he held me tight. He knew I would try to go to Alexander and tell him what they were planning and the fear was in his eyes. They were so scared so frightened of my Alexander and I didn't understand why.

Was he really that bad? Were they seeing a side of him I have not? But I knew Alexander from top to bottom, I was his soul. Maybe that's the difference. They only knew his mind and not his heart.

I see the rest of the generals come out of the room looking distressed and I knew they didn't want it to happen this way either. And that's exactly what made them weak. Parmenion, the old hag had convinced them that he must go.

I'm not denying that Alexander has changed, because he has. We saw it as he burned everything, leaving nothing but ash, leaving nothing but corpse. He was a cold blooded murderer but he hadn't forgotten about us. He wanted us to be apart of his journey. He wanted to shout to the world that we were: his generals, the best generals to ever live.

But no. They wanted something different. They didn't like that he wanted to unite the worlds. Again with the word 'selfish'. They wanted it to be all about them.

"Talk to him, you arrogant shits!" I yelled this time and just as I was about to get out of Cleitus' rough handling, Cassander, the sneaky bitch held me back, now both of them supporting me against the wall.

"And where does that lead us Hephaistion! Nowhere. How many more meetings, conversations must we have with him. He doesn't listen to us!" His teeth were gritted as he spoke.

My Alexander always, everyday of the week, every second of his life took time to listen to them.

I gave up, calmed and they released me and I couldn't believe that I was going to join hands with a bunch of traitors. Yes, I couldn't believe it. Ptolemy, Leonnatus, Nearchus and Craterus were apart of this. Friends of childhood only? Alexander was a friend of man.

The next part was more difficult. Cleitus was going to go offer the cup to him but I told him that I would do it. They handed me the cup and told me to 'be strong.' Whatever the hell that means coming from a bunch of cowards, I have no idea.

I opened the door to his room hoping, just hoping he would be asleep in his bed. Or even hoping he wouldn't be there. Praying a spy or page heard of our plans and hurried to tell him but no such was my luck. Instead I found him awake, standing looking out at the balcony arms stretched, eyes closed taking in the fresh air.

Not only was I going to murder him but I was interrupting his prayers.

I began to shake. I took a look inside the poisonous cup. I was shaking so bad, I could have dropped it. However this I wouldn't have minded.

I thought I couldn't be heard. He then said my name which was terrifying.

"Is that you Phai?"

"Yes my king." I was surprised I could even speak with my throat dry.

"Come, join the night air with me."

I don't deserve it.

I moved closer to him and stood by his side. I had already yelled at myself to hold in all my tears. Good thing it was as dark as the night throughout the room, only the moon light peeking in a bit.

"What brings you here this late?" He smiled and my heart died. I haven't seen that smile for weeks.

I had made up my decision. I wasn't going to do this for them. I was going to do it for me.

Alexander wasn't well. At all. My poor king looked tired. Stressed. Hair dead and eyes dead. The two things that really defined who he was, or used to be. He was damaged, receiving a lot of head wounds in the past, he was hurt, thinking the world didn't love him anymore, he was alone, thinking that he would never find a worthy opponent or anyone as great as he, he was brainwashed, by both insane parents with stories told to him of the gods, and he was in love. With me. And the world. That was a terrible mix.

So it was time. I could feel my bones and blood shiver; my fingertips began to tingle around the golden chalice of poison fit for a distorted king.

Was Alexander really a bad person or were we the bad ones. It's hard to tell. He wanted glory. But was that bad. I don't know anymore as I handed him the chalice.

"Here my king. I brought you some wine." I said. It was a bad attempt of being cynical.

I felt even guiltier as he gladly took it and not even noticing the hint in my voice. Sometimes he could be so stupid.

I panicked. I thought about snatching the cup. I thought about everything before he put the cup to his lips and began drinking. And now it was too late.

I could have gone on a rampage and killed every single person in the palace with my bare hands. How could I live after this?

I watched him, more tears running, as he drank from the cup. What the hell was wrong with me? If my parents knew I was committing murder they would have me beaten, especially to do this to one of my best friends in the whole entire world but I wasn't a child anymore.

People simply didn't understand, when we both bleed, we bleed the same.

And before I could control my mind, I scolded his ass. "What the hell Alexander?" I couldn't help myself. I was angry, I was confused and I was struggling.

He stopped drinking and looked at me like he had never had anyone speak to him that way.

"What did I do?" He was confused and I felt bad.

"I'm thirsty too. May I have some please?" My vocie was a little croaky.

He hadn't questioned the tears yet and I assumed he thought that I was really angry that he didn't think of sharing his wine cup. And I took the cup from him and finished the other half of the poison.

He drinks half and I drink half. Sometimes fate can show up at the weirdest times.

He laughed. "You just drank un watered wine. Sorry no one is here to give you a standing ovation Phai!"

"Shut up Alexander. It's poison!" I was angry but mostly just at myself.

We were both suffering. It didn't matter anymore.

He looked at me like I had ran naked in the hallway flashing everybody in sight.

"What are you talking about poison?" He looked scared. He took the cup from my shaking hand and tossed it over the side of the balcony and held me so I could stay still.

You would think that how bad I was shaking, the effects of the poison were already kicking in.

"Why did you drink it you idiot?" he asked, about to go get a physician. I stopped him though.

Well, that just proved his never-ending recklessness. Did he not drink it too? Did he not care about himself?

"I drank it because you did!" I was tempted to call him an idiot back but he's been through enough. He shook his head and folded his arms.

"You're unbelievable you know that?"

There was silence between us for a long time. He didn't look like he wanted to hit me or choke me or anything which was a shock considering that I just killed us both.

He looked worried and instead he felt my head and then ran his hands through my hair. I must have looked tired, from all that crying like a little baby.

"So you guys are probably sick of me by now then?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I felt less heavy, all problems folding themselves up neatly.

"Yes. You put us through shit." I admitted.

I can only be honest with him. He put us through so much shit. It was sad because he didn't know. He was a difficult one to work with and hopefully the gods would be willing to work something out, when Alexander reached the heavens.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay love."

"Who's going to be heir to the throne then?"

"Who cares it's not our problem." I got angry again. "It's about us now, not them." I sounded like a spoiled brat but I didn't care.

"Do you think people will remember me?" his voice sounded like it was born of only innocence.

"Absolutely. You will be known as the best there ever was."

"What about you?"

"They will remember me as the friend of the best there ever was." I took his hand in mine and looked at him remembering those eyes. "Whatever happens, I want you to forgive yourself for everything. I forgive you and your men forgive you. Now forgive yourself. Promise me that."

"I promise."

Silence has never been so needed before. I felt refreshed.

"Nothings happening. Do you feel different?" he asked anxiously.

I guess that was our plan. To stay there staring out at the moon holding hands until something happened. I should have looked more into the side effects.

"Not yet. Are you scared?" I asked.

"No!" he sounded offended.

He was scared of nothing. I wish I could say the same.

"Well if you are I'm by your side."

"Is this an awkward time to tell you how much I love you? Because I love you more than you can imagine. I love you more than this world."

I can tell he was trying to confess something, probably apologizing for that Bagoas boy or that Roxanne woman or all the times he's left me in the shadows because the world was in the palm of his hand.

"I told you I forgive you, forgive yourself Alexander. This isn't about me."

He sighed. "When will all of this be over, so I could finally have you to myself?" he whispered a silent plea.

"I don't feel a change. Do you want to have sex while we wait?"

"I'm serious Phai!"

"Okay! I love you too."

The generals were standing out in the big meeting room waiting for Hephaistion to return with the news and it was taking him longer than they had thought.

"What's taking him so long?" Perdicas asked nervously. He was hoping Hephaistion didn't do anything stupid and tell the king of there atrocious plan.

"I can't believe we did this." Leonnatus said feeling bad and angry at him self for letting Parmenion convince them that this was the right idea and a good idea.

"It had to be done." Cleitus replied leaning against the wall playing with his dagger keeping his mind busy from the blame he bestowed on himself.

Craterus stood grunting impatiently. "I'm going to go check it out."

Parmenion nodded. "The effect should have been immediate." Cassander, Parmenion and Craterus exited the room to see where Hephaistion was at with the progress.

Ptolemy smiled but said nothing to them and left the room with a cup of poisonous wine in his hand.