Simple yet Complicated
Disclaimer: Why don't you just click open any random story and paste its disclaimer here?
Chapter One
Haibara Ai hated Kudou Shinichi, no, Edogawa Conan with every fiber of her being. She hated him so much that she was willing to bludgeon him to hell with anything she could reach right now and strangle him until his face turned blue and air becoming the luxury he would never ever feel again. Oh how she would enjoy watching him gasp for breath, letting out a weak croak, begging her to release him. And how she would love to watch him die slowly, she would smirk at his struggling body, enjoying the fact that he would be suffering with unbearable pain to accompany him through his last agonizing seconds. Yes, she would do those things to him if she could, all because of one simple reason. He made her drunk.
---
It all started when Conan suddenly remembered the effects of the Paikaru beer. Yes, that simple, seemingly innocent thing had led her to the hell of misery.
They were at the supermarket, buying groceries for Agasa at that time when Conan suddenly exclaimed something about some beer out of the blue.
"Excuse me?" She said, having absolutely no idea about what he was talking about. Conan didn't answer her but instead pulled her towards the alcoholic beverage section and began browsing for something. Ai raised her eyebrow, "I didn't know you're an alcoholic, Kudou. Maybe you should wait until you have gained your old body back before continuing with you habit?"
He ignored her sarcastic comment and went on with his browsing. She watched his busy figure slightly disinterested. Why would Conan drag her here just to watch him searching for some beer was beyond her.
A loud shout of "Aha!" surprised caught her by surprise. Conan immediately made his way towards her and held something an inch away from her face. A bottle of beer.
"See this?" Conan said cheerfully, as if he was done solving a really hard case.
Her eyebrow went up another centimeter. "Yes, I see it. Are you here just to test my vision? If it is, I'm leaving."
She turned and walked away, but stopped abruptly when he grabbed her shoulder and turned her towards him by force.
Ai glared at him coldly, "Let's get the facts straight, Kudou. If you think that I'm interested in sharing a bottle of beer with you, forget it. You're fortunate that I didn't accidentally break your bone from retaliation when you grabbed me."
He gave her a lopsided, nervous grin. "I'm sorry for grabbing you like that, but please at least hear me out. It will worth your time, I promise."
She thought about it for a moment, and finally nodded. His eyes sparkled and so he began telling about his first encounter with Heiji, how he was suffering from flu then and was forced to drink a bottle of paikaru. After some detail about the case, he finally came to the important bit, about how he went back to his old body during that event, something which he assumed was because of that beer.
The young chemist eyed him like he had just willingly become Gin's slave. After a long pause, she finally spoke, "Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"
Conan sighed; this kind of expression was expected. "Look, Haibara, I didn't dream of it, that thing I'm sure. Why won't you believe me? I have every concrete proof to prove it."
She stared at him. "And that is…?"
"Just ask Heiji, he'd say the same thing too." He chirped confidently.
Another sigh, this time from Ai. She knew it was quite pointless to argue with the over determined Conan, and she certainly wasn't going to waste her time doing so. Just let him have his way and be over with it, she thought,but there was a statement she had to make to ensure herself. "It sounded too much like a fairy tale to believe, if it is true, why haven't you reverted to your old body by now?"
Conan looked sheepish, "Err- Because my system's already immune to it, so I couldn't make it work twice."
She stared at him with a deadpanned look, as if to say, 'I-know-you're-planning-to-make-me-your-guinea-pig-and-you-suck.'
He laughed weakly.
---
Conan had somehow succeeded in making Ai agree to drink a whole bottle of it when they reached Agasa's house. And here they were, watching Ai gulp down glasses of the alcohol containing liquid that they were 12 years too young too drink. Physically anyway.
Ai had reached the sixth glass by now, finishing roughly 2/3 of the content. Her face was beet red.
Agasa watched her with unease, "Shinichi? Shouldn't we stop her?"
The person in question had just finished her seventh glass and was pouring the eighth glass.
Sweat drop rolled down Conan's head, "Uh, we tried, remember? She kicked me." He pointed to his swollen cheek.
They continued to watch silently as the drunken chemist finished the first bottle and moved to the second one.
---
Ai woke with a groan. Her hand unconsciously moved towards her temple and massaged it to ease the headache that had immediately hit her as she gained consciousness. Her mind was still in point Blanc when the door opened, revealing the worried face of Conan and Agasa.
"Ohayou, Ai, are you feeling better?" The professor greeted her for a start. Ai merely groaned and begged for some aspirin. Hastily, Conan raced out of her room and came back with a box of aspirin and a glass of water. He inched towards her bed and held both items out. She distinctively reached for it and took a pill from the box. She washed it down with water and after she was finished, handed the empty glass back at Conan. Agasa hovered over the two tiny figures and questioned her once more, "How are you feeling? Is there something you need?"
Ai grunted and plopped back at her pillow. She didn't know why, but she was in a bleak mood. She sensed that something happened the night before that she didn't like, she was drunk after all, so anything could happen, ranging from bad to worst and she wouldn't have a clue what. And she didn't like it. "Thank you for your concern, professor. I feel fine, very fine, in fact, I need nothing more than having a headache the first thing in the morning."
Judging by her reply, both Conan and Agasa knew that Ai was pissed and it was time to quietly retreat out of there. They came to that conclusion not because of her derogatory response, but because of the amount of words she unnecessarily stressed in that single sentence. Anyway, the professor quickly withdrew, but Conan, against his better judgment, decided to remain there.
He slipped to the seat beside her bed and began talking, "I didn't know you're such an abusive drinker," He grinned with a slight hint of mischievousness.
"And whose fault is that?" She snapped back, eyeing him with black anger. She knew something was wrong when she saw that grin. Her eye traveled to his face, noticing its swollen cheek. "Did I do that?"
"Well, yeah. You kicked me when I was trying to stop you from chugging down the whole bottle."
"Oh." The fact that he was wounded gave her a little dot of satisfaction, but it was still not enough to swallow her disdain at him for making her drunk. She was, after all, most vulnerable when she was drunk. But to make it up, she was also an abusive drinker, who has the habit of striking anyone who went to close to her. For example, the boy in front of her.
She rose slowly. "Well, I am regretfully sorry to inform you that whatever thing you have made me drink did not work. Now, would you kindly shove over so I can get out of this bed?"
He obeyed and pushed the chair back, providing enough space for Ai to walk past it and towards the door. "Where are you going?"
Turning towards him, she answered, "Researching." It was as simple as that and she resumed her pace towards the door. But Conan had raced towards the door first and blocked it.
"You can't." He said.
She raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
He fished something out of his pocket. A recorder, and pressed a button. A slightly crackled voice came out of it. She recognized it as hers.
"You know, you're just a cocky arrogant haughty detective that has nothing to (hiccup) attract women. I bet I can do anything that you (hiccup) cannot do." It had a drunken slur in it.
Then Conan's voice was heard. "Like what, Haibara? Drinking like some mad cow and kicking anyone who got close to you?"
"Any (hiccup) thing, you're just a loser; you can't beat me (hiccup)." Ai cringed at this. At this point, she was 100 sure that the next thing happening was going to put her life through hell. When she was Shiho, she was quite known for her notoriety of making impossible bets with Gin when she was drunk (That she always lost afterwards and resulted in doing 'things' for Gin that she would never ever want to remember for the rest of her live.).
"Well…since I personally think that you're too mature for your age, how about behaving like normal children for a month?"
"Oh (hiccup) yeah? You think so? But I can be a child too, you see?" The drunk Ai in the recorder began singing 'Baa-baa black sheep' with a hoarse, off key voice.
The real Ai cringed again, this time from embarrassment. And the laughing Conan amplified it by a hundred times. In fact, he was laughing so hard that tears began forming on his eyes.
Finally, after one minute of complete humiliation, the taped-Ai finished her song. Conan's voice was once again heard, this time full of amusement. "So, are you going to accept that bet or not?"
"Sure, do you think I'll loose to you? (Hiccup) You're on!"
Conan pressed another button, turning it off. "So?" he asked, grinning widely. His face clearly etched of slyness.
Ai's exterior remained cool and impassive, totally the opposite of her inside. Her inside was… chaotic. Humiliation, anger, embarrassment, and disdain was swirling into one, overlapping each other until it was nothing but a blur and she was unable to tell each one apart. That was how hectic it was.
"Do you seriously think that I will obey that silly dare? How wrong of you, Kudou." She spoke calmly.
He didn't say anything and instead pressed a button. This time it ignited the sound of her singing 'Baa-baa Black sheep'. His grin grew even wider.
Ai's eyes widened in realization, "Oh no, you wouldn't dare…"
"I wonder what everyone's reaction will be upon hearing the infamous, socially inept Haibara sing…"
She glared at him with black anger and stomped out of there. She could hear Conan shouting the cursed words as she descended down the flight of stairs.
"Don't forget to act like a kid!"
Her mind was now blaring, thinking murderously of torture methods she would love to use at him, and probably will, soon enough.
---
Later on that day, Conan gave her a paper with his typical handwriting scrawled all over it. Curiously, she began reading it.
Things to do and NOT to do:
No researching. Eight year olds simply do not understand the complexity of researching.
Spend time with Ayumi. You will learn how to be a proper child from her.
Eat ice cream. I know you hate sweet things, but kids eat ice cream, and you're now a kid, so behave like one.
No using last names. Kids do not use it. Use first name + chan instead.
Smile, be cheerful. And quit shooting me death glares.
Cross difficult words out of your vocabulary, no complex sentence structure as well.
Sleep over with Ayumi or Ran.
Wear pink frilly dress, it seems to be popular amongst girls these days.
Do not talk or mention about that APTX, you're now simply Haibara Ai, Sherry or Miyano Shiho doesn't exist.
Participate on the upcoming school festival.
Will be added in future, meanwhile enjoy: )
The disdain and anger she felt for him was instantly replaced with pure, extremely immense hate and loathe that would make Lucifer nothing more than a baby that had just learned to crawl.
I swear I will make your live hell from now on. You'll pay for what you did, Kudou…
Continued…
A note about paikaru, I don't know if that was spelled right or not. The version I read was the Indonesian translation, so I have absolutely no idea. If anyone knows the real name, please, do tell.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fic, and REVIEW! I cannot simply stress how much I would appreciate it. Thankies! Oh, and if you have sugestions to add to the 'Things to do and NOT to do list', feel free to inform me. Ciao.