CATCH ME 22

Chapter 1: A Day in the Life

Isn't it lovely when things fail to go according to plan? I should know as I am forever making plans that completely fall through. This story is no exception. I wrote this years and years ago and it was then published, laughed at and forgotten about until I decided something must be done. The result now lies on the web page before your eyes.

In your readings remember that firstly I don't own any of these characters or settings (though, how very nice it would be to own England) and secondly that I am a mere mortal and so this updated version is probably no better than the original.

Now let us begin our tale:

Third Year

"Re-mus, Re-mus wake up you git." Sirius's lame ghost impersonation entered his mind and he was having a nice dream too.

"Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus, R – " Sirius repeated in a monotone flicking Remus on the nose at each mention of his name. Remus initially scrunched up his features in retaliation and then, being able to endure no longer connect his fist with Sirius' nose in a clumsy movement.

"Piss off." Remus pulled the blankets over his head.

Sirius rubbed his nose slowly, his eyes glazing over, "Ow."

"That was a delayed reaction." James observed, sauntering up to Sirius. The messy haired individual was still doing up his red and gold tie as he came to stand with his taller friend beside Remus' bed. Noticing that Sirius was still starring blankly James continued, "Look Sirius, just leave him - he can be late to breakfast without your help."

Sirius snapped out of his daze and looked at James eyebrows raised and face in that dopey teenage-boy expression he had perfected. James cringed internally – Sirius was like a dog with a bone. With a smirk tugging at his lips Sirius ripped Remus' blankets back, earning a string of curses from said boy, before hoisting him out of bed by his ankle. A whine issued from Remus' mouth at the loss of both warmth and his bed. Still clinging to his bed sheets the former occupant of the bed began to kick out at his attacker. His vicious movements caused his pyjama top to ride up bearing thin white scars to those in the room. Sirius, busy giggling with the enjoyment of the struggle didn't notice but on seeing the scars James saw the reason for so many trips to the hospital wing.

"Sirius you ass!" Remus whined, slightly breathless from the struggle. His fight was already lost and Remus knew it. Sirius was much stronger than he was and fit thanks to his training as a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Remus was neither on the team nor did he want to be, but at times such as these he really did see the advantage.

Sirius, still emitting slight giggles, released Remus ankle. The closeted werewolf slowly raised himself up with the aid of the bed. Upon reaching his full height Remus found himself staring at Sirius lips and the sly grin plastered on him. The smaller boy frowned and shoved his friend in the chest. Sirius, of course, was unaffected by the blow but his own push to Remus' shoulder sent the boy toppling backwards.

Remus got up slowly, cursing as he did so. He grabbed his clothes, which had once been folded neatly on top of his trunk at the foot of his bed but during the struggle they had been strewn on the floor. Glancing at the bathroom Remus realised that Peter must not have yet finished his morning ritual. As he stood up and made to unbutton his shirt, it became apparent to Remus that James and Sirius were still in the room. Even though he'd spent two whole years with the Marauders, he still felt embarrassed to show his scars.

"Um… if you could…" Remus said hesitantly motioning with his hand for them to turn around.

Sirius cocked his head to the side with a vacant expression on his face either not quite understanding the request or he had not yet fulfilled his Remus Annoyance quota. To Remus' mind it was obvious why Sirius could no understand such a request, as he himself had no insecurities about himself. Remus was about to elaborate when James tugged on Sirius' shirt.

"C'mon Sirius," James pulled the taller boy towards the door, "We'll wait for you in the common room."

"Morning." Peter slipped out of the bathroom in his usual chipper mood. Remus wondered if he was like that even before his morning shower. On putting his towel back in his trunk Peter gave his friends a quizzical look. James didn't indulge the newly emerged boy with an explanation but nodded his head towards the door and Peter followed them into the common room.

After a few minutes of Peter nattering about almost failing Charms and Sirius trying to transfigure the couch into an elephant, Remus ran down the stairs.

"Come on, we're already late." Remus said curtly, still adjusting his tie. James and Peter followed placidly as Remus strode to the portrait hole, clipping a grinning Sirius Black cross the head.

A moment of Sirius grinning goofily, then, "ouch."

"Sirius, I think you should get that reaction time of yours checked, it's really slow." James said stepping through the portrait hole. At the suggestion of this Sirius began to laugh which Remus didn't get but what made Sirius tick was a mystery.

"James is right, maybe it's 'cos you've let off to many dung bombs," Peter, as usual sided with James. Sirius continued to laugh. Peter continued trying to make his manic friend see his point, "Hey! I'm serious!"

"Y-" Sirius began.

"No! Not a word from you about that stupid pun!" James put a hand over Sirius's mouth. Never give Sirius Black an opening because he will take it. Sirius licked James's hand eyes fluttering, mocking pleasure as he did so. With face contorted in disgust, James quickly removed his hand and wiped the drool on Sirius's shirt.

"Oh you little bastard!" James pulled his hand away from his friend, "Bad boy! Down! Heel!"

Sirius was grinning like a lunatic as he trotted along and Peter was stifling giggles. Remus however, simply watched with a subtle smile. James made a small 'Shut up' before the group enter the Great Hall. The Marauders sat down at the Gryffindor table and – as custom – bacon and eggs filled their plates. Sirius began shovelling food into his face and Peter also had no hesitation in tucking in. Remus moved his fork from plate to mouth far less rapidly. James however made no move to eat but instead a grin grew on his face and with aid of his fork he launched an unusually sloppy egg at Sirius. Of course it hit him right in the face and Sirius stopped eating to throw the egg, now sliding down his face, back at James. James had erupted into hysterics and didn't stop when the dishevelled mush that used to be an egg slapped into his nose. Soon enough James was hurling pumpkin juice, Sirius ducking and drive in his seat and Peter hitting both of them with handfuls of scrambled eggs. Remus would be lying if he said he didn't throw a rasher of bacon or two in Sirius' direction.

While the teachers were occupied with more important things than a food fight that could be cleaned up in seconds someone had to spoil the fun. Lily Evans who was sitting a few seats down had got up and was now standing over a hysterical James, "Honestly Potter, have you any decency?"

A broad mischievous grin planted itself on Sirius's face, "Well actually…"

Sirius's grin was replace with the look of pain and a bit of the 'I'm about to spew' look.

Lily's face showed no hint of smiling or ever smiling at such immature humour, if she would even call it humour at all. Her face didn't even flinch a grin at the sight of Sirius Black in pain yet it was obvious, to the trained eye of Remus Lupin, from a glint in her eye that she enjoyed it.

"Right." She turned on her heels and left stilling appearing very unimpressed.

James turned back to Sirius, who was once again rapidly eating, with narrowed eyes, "Thank you Mr Black."

Sirius swallowed his mouthful, "No problem Mr. Potter."

"If you stopped being an idiot for a minute maybe I could talk to her," James said raising his hands and sighing in defeat, a tinge of mocking in his voice, "But you have to always try to open your big mouth."

"Hey if I wasn't so distracting, Lily wouldn't be attracted to us in the first place," Sirius spoke with a sly grin. Remus was poised on the edge of his seat, mind in full swing – there were moments when Sirius' insight surprised him.

"No way," James countered trying to be stern but grinning anyway, "She comes for me because I'm obviously a god who needs to be worshipped."

Remus shoved James in the arm. Sometimes his friend was such a prat. Remus realised they were all still very much covered in their own breakfast and so muttered a cleaning spell under his breath. No one in the company seemed to notice for they had resumed eating except for Peter who was still having giggle fits. Just as Remus began to eat again Sirius grunted and sat up straight.

"Mmm!" Sirius swallowed his mouth full and began again, "Which, reminds me," Sirius brandished his fork dangerously, "Which one of you fucked up bastards kicked me in the balls?"

James narrowed his eyes, "How does anything I said relate to your…err…. Genitalia?"

"Well we were talking about things that should be worshipped."

Sirius' deadpan caused Remus to chuckle. Sirius flicked Remus a glance and gave him a private grin. It was times like these, Remus reckoned as he smiled back, that he liked Sirius Black. James, oblivious to the exchange muttered and kicked Sirius in the knee knowing he would react at least five minutes later. Peter was still watching the exchange with glee in his eyes.

"Well come on! Own up!" Sirius pointed his fork at each one of his friends.

"I did." Remus, after saying his piece, burst into a series of chuckles. He felt a twang of guilt that quickly subsided when Sirius lunged at him from across the table.

"Remus! You little pervert!" Peter pulled Sirius back into his seat while his hands still grabbed for Remus' throat.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy it." James said with an evil grin. Remus held his aching stomach as he shook with laughter as did Peter opposite him.

Over the roars of laughter Sirius knew it was fruitless to deny anything as no one could hear him. Instead he settled with grumbling to himself amidst the laughter. As he gulped down his pumpkin juice, it then came to his attention that his left knee was hurting.

"Ouch."

Sirius swaggered into herbology and winked at a brunette before sitting down with his friends. The brunette started giggling, which was what most girls did when coming across Sirius. James smirked at this. Even if Sirius had a girlfriend he would continue to flirt, that's probably why they never stayed for two long.

Remus snorted at the farce that was Sirius Black as the boy came to sit next to him. Sirius leaned back in his chair, tongue in cheek and gave the same brunette a cheeky grin.

"Stop flirting for gods sake." James said hitting Sirius over the head.

"Why would I do that Jamsie?"

James shook his head and looked down at his textbook.

"C'mon James! Just 'cos I know more about women than you do is no reason to get sour."

"Sirius. You've never had a girlfriend who's lasted more than a week. You don't know anything about women." Remus didn't look Sirius in the eyes a blush creeping across his cheeks, "Well, girls really."

"Fine! So I don't know anything about women. Or girls. At least I have more of a chance of getting a kiss than you. 'Cos they think I'm sexy."

James hit his forehead with a groan as Sirius did a little dance while remaining to be seated. Peter laughed along with him, which only encouraged Sirius more. Remus blushed at the mere though of approaching a girl. Of course Remus had his eyes on a few people, but they were otherwise spoken for or would rather, in the words of one Hufflepuff, "snog a dead fish". Sirius was constantly telling Remus to have a little faith in his 'animal magnetism' and every time he mentioned it Remus was gripped with a gnawing sense of irony.

It's not that Remus was a self conscious, low self-esteem, loser, just on the subject of girls he blushed and went all embarrassed. Remus didn't like it when these things were talked about out loud; he felt they were supposed to be kept quiet. This was something, of course, that Sirius never did, because he was Sirius and would flaunt his every triumph to the whole world. He never seemed like he even wanted to hold onto a girl and that was another thing that made Remus' stomach churn. There was also the thought that Remus suspected girls only liked big strong, Quidditch playing types, like Sirius. Remus was definitely not like that.

With the classroom still void of any authority Sirius continued to stroke his own ego using his friends as fuel to the flame.

"So Rem, is it intimidating being near someone as sexy as myself?"

"No."

"I think girls prefer types like Remus." Peter stated plainly.

"Merlin, Pete! Rem's okay but I'm too sexy for my shirt!" Sirius waggled his eyebrows and slowly raised the hem of his shirt revealing a toned torso. The show induced some squeals from various parts of the room.

James shuddered, "Ergh, keep it on..."

Sirius flattened his eyebrows immediately. He knitted his hands together and leaned across the table towards James, "Well what do you think then Mr. Potter?"

James shrugged, somewhat flustered, "Well I don't know, go ask a girl!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed. Unclasping his hands he turned away from his mutinous friends and turned to the smaller boy beside him. Sirius put an arm around Remus drawing him in and Remus flushed at the invasion of personal space. Sirius had either ignored what James had said or was trying to be rude. The latter was most likely, "Well what do you think Rem?"

Remus refused to dignify Sirius' question with any sort of response and instead pushed him away. Sirius didn't even show a flicker of hurt on his features but instead laughed.

"I love you too Remus."

"Sirius shut up you're weirding all of us out." Peter pulled on Sirius's shirtsleeve as he glanced nervously at all the attention the Marauders were now receiving.

"Hey buddy hands off the merchandise!" Sirius, ever the exhibitionist leaped out of his chair, adoring the impressed noises of the class who now had their full attention on him.

"Mr Black please take you're seat. Thank you," Professor Fleance looked at the four Marauders who were now sitting smiling and pretending to be interested in herbology. Apart from Remus, who actually liked herbology.

"Right, now today you will..."

The professor's voice trailed into obscurity as Sirius nudged shoulders with Remus. He groaned internally. Sirius was like this every lesson. Not listening and what's worse disrupting Remus from learning, yet he still helped Sirius with his homework. Sometimes he thought that his friends were using him to pass their grades, this was quickly dismissed.

Remus sat in the common room reading his potions textbook. He was average at potions, well better than the others at least. Sirius had been asking him again to do his homework. If he did help him, Sirius would continue to slack off and use him, but if he didn't, Sirius would fail. Why did he even care? It was really Sirius's problem.

But Remus did care. It seemed he cared about everything. From the hopeless case of Sirius Black to how much butterbeer he should drink in an hour. He couldn't help trying to make everything perfect, everything right. It was just Remus. Whenever he tried to ignore it he came to think about it more. So there truly was no end.

"Rem! How's your potions work going."

"Fine."

"Good you up to playing some wizard chess?" Sirius had his usual jovial expression on his handsome face.

"Alright, prepare yourself for failure, Black." Remus grinned as he sat down to play. He couldn't say no to that face and even if he could, he couldn't say no to chess.

"Better bring you're 'A' game Lupin." Sirius sat down opposite his friend.

"My 'D' game will beat your 'A' game any day Black."

"Mr Lupin is sounding too confident for his own good."

"Mr Black obviously doesn't know what he's in for."

"Mr Black and Mr Lupin are both going to be hit over the head by Mr Potter in a minute if they do not shut up."

"Mr Black points his bottom in Mr Potter's general direction."

James rolled his eyes dramatically and went back to writing his charms essay.

Ten minutes later the game reached a conclusion.

"Check and Mate and Mr Lupin is sad to inform Mr Black that that was indeed his 'D' game."

"Mr Black sends his abuse to Mr Lupin."

"Mr Pettigrew laughs in Mr Black's face as that is the twenty-second time he has lost to Mr Lupin this year."

"Mr Black wonders why Mr Pettigrew is bored enough to count how many times Mr Lupin has been successful."

"Mr Pettigrew finds counting Mr Black's loses much more fruitful that his victories."

"Stooping to refer to yourselves in third person?" Lily looked down at Sirius with the hatred people usually only reserve for cockroaches or fans of rival Quidditch teams.

"Hello Lily." James sat up at little bit straighter at the approach of the redhead. The grin that spread across his face clashed with the stony glare Lily returned him.

"Hello Potter," Lily said, the strain to be civil evident in her clenched jaw.

"I was wondering..."

"The answer's no Potter."

James sighed as she walked away. Peter shook his head. And Sirius was so frustrated that he hit Remus on the arm absent-mindedly.

"Ow."

"Indeed, Remus, just what I was thinking." Sirius was staring off into space.

"What's so bad about one little date?" James asked thin air.

"It's not the date that's worrying her." Remus stated.

"Oh really? Then what is it?"

Remus grinned, "It's you."

Sirius and Peter burst into laughter.

"Hey! Do you want to say that to my face?"

"I just did."

"Do you want to say that to my face within striking distance?" James amended.

"No, I'm good."

"I'll show you good!"

"What?"

Remus didn't have time to ask James what he really meant; he had only time to start to run. The chase continued for some time, Remus had yet to be caught, until Sirius and Peter pinned him down so James could give him a noogie1. Much laughter followed as punches with no weight behind them were thrown, people were wrestled to the ground and 'stacks on' was called.

After a few minutes however the fun was called off when two exams stressed seventh years told them to shut it or take it to their dorm. Sirius thrust the two forefingers in their general direction and the Marauders laughed until one kindly pointed out he was Head Boy and thrust an impressive badge in Sirius' face. They promptly went to bed, but not before a round of exploding snap.

"Night all."

"Goodnight everyone."

"Night Remus, Pete and James."

"Same to you."

Remus smiled at himself. There was no place better than Hogwarts. And there was no one greater than his three friends. Tomorrow was guaranteed to be just as good.

Another day in the life.