The Metro Mall was one of the most impressive malls in America to date. It was roughly the size of a football stadium, sorry, make that two football stadiums right next to one another. There were at least ten floors, all of them swamped with multiple stores, many of them chain stores but many simple, or original, stores. Just how many shoe stores could one multi-complex hold? That was a mystery to some. One particular individual who had set up home in Metro City knew the number, location, contact details, and what brand of shoes each individual store owned.
His name was Megamind.
And today he found himself walking the length and breadth of the many multiple floors looking for new shoes. Granted, normally the super villain would purchase his shoes online, but Minion had gone and overdrawn their Evil Credit Card, so that meant taking money from their stolen gold bricks, having it changed in the local bank into currency, and going out to buy new boots. After all, as a super villain, Megamind always had to look his best, and you never looked your best if you were showing up in tacky shoes that were partially burned or melted thanks to a certain goody-two-shoes.
Naturally he was in disguise while shopping for shoes. One didn't simply rock up at a mall, incite a riot, and send people fleeing in terror... unless that was what you were actually after. Normally, Megamind was all for a good riot, but not when he was shopping for shoes. Shoes took precedence over causing mass hysteria and terror. After all, how could clerks serve you if they were shaking in their boots by the sheer awesomeness that was your presence? His disguise today was pretty much a human counterpart to his usual appearance. Though, he did add some hair to the simulated projected image... but only a little of course.
Skin tight black leather pants ending in spiked boots clad his lower half, while a simple AC/DC shirt covered his torso and was accompanied by a ankle length black leather jacket with a huge collar (despite it being Summer, who was he to turn his back on his love affair with the color black and leather?). The short pale man with a black goatee (and a matching head of black hair) was already carrying a few bags in one hand while the other tapped his chin. Another floor, another four or so shoe-stores in need of investigation. And now here he stood, outside the a favourite shop, peering in through the glass. They were having a sale. That was always interesting, and judging by how bold-faced and bright their signs appeared it must be an important one. Naturally the store already appeared over-run with women, and men, looking through the racks for the right shoe to fit their feet and match their wardrobe.
Sometimes, the urge to just reveal your villainy to scare off the masses was almost overwhelming. But, no... no, no matter how much he wanted to be served first, to find the shoe that fit his fairly small sized feet. Small feet werealways so difficult to find decently evil footwear for. Heaving a large sigh, he made his way into the store to begin the hunt again, seeking out new interesting high heeled boots to buy.
Wandering along the racks at the back of the shop, Megamind finally spied some boots tall enough to look decent. He approached them from one direction whilst someone much faster approached from the other direction, and he looked up into the face of the taller, white-clad... woman... Oh dear...
The two recognised each other immediately, and both stopped dead, waiting for the other to make a move. Megamind observed that his adversary was also carrying some inconvenient shopping, including a suit bag which needed to be held up at an awkward angle. He considered dropping his hard-won sale items. His adversary looked around to see either whether there were nearby citizens or somewhere to put her parcels without crushing them, he wasn't sure which.
Both were silent.
An approaching staff-member took both their attention. He looked his adversary in the eye, then looked at the staff-member, and then looked at the rack of boots. Okay. It wasn't like Metro Woman was going to buy black boots anyway, let alone have feet his size. This was not going to be a conflict over footwear.
"Hey there!" greeted the young staff-member. Her name tag read the name 'Tiffany'. She certainly looked like one, blue eyed, blond haired, and the kind of cutesy beautiful look which teenage boys would no doubt swoon over. "Can I help you, or are you still looking?" she asked, making it fairly difficult to work out if she was talking to the 'Goth' or the taller woman.
She seemed to have no idea of the tension that she had just walked in on in this less-popular corner of the shop.
Metro Woman was the first to speak. "Yes. I... was wondering if you had these in a size 10?"
Megamind, mere seconds after Metro Woman begun speaking, spoke too. "Yes! I want to know if you hold these in a size 5?"
Tiffany blinked, taken aback by how the two had answered her query at practically the same time. Looking at the taller, fairly friendlier looking woman rather the skinny, somewhat creepy-looking Goth boy, she answered. "I could have a look 'round back in the stocks..."
"Thank you"
"Excuse me." Megamind hissed like a desert snake, eyes narrowing at Tiffany. "Size five?"
"Yeah, I'll have a look for those too." Tiffany replied in a not-quite-as-pleasant tone to him before turning and squeezing past the other people in the store.
As Tiffany disappeared into the back room, Metro Woman and Megamind sized each other up. Metro Woman sighed. "Do we have to go through this, or can we just assume that this is your day off also?"
"It depends on just how quickly that store attendant replies and whose shoes she brings back first." Megamind replied testily, green eyes narrowing all the more. He quickly glanced at the door in which the blond girl had vanished through.
Metro Woman turned, placing her boxes in the corner, then draping the suit bag over the top carefully so that it wouldn't crush. "Little Buddy, I've been shopping all day. I really would prefer we settle this nicely."
"Well I've been shopping since... last night!" he totally hadn't. Bold faced liar, he was. Megamind looked at his bags for a moment before setting them down at his feet and stood to his full height though sadly, he only came face to face with her chest and no further. Setting his hands on his hips he stuck his chin out, and looked at her.
"Shopping all night? Should I assume those bags were paid for?" Metro Woman turned her attention from the posturing little man in front of her, looking at a rack of knee high zipper boots. "Come on, Megamind, I'm not going to be wearing shoes your size anyway." She reached for a boot and admired the sole for a moment.
"Of course they're paid for! I may be a villain but there are certain rules one must obey. Especially when it comes to footwear." Megamind replied.
"I sometimes wonder if you are really in the Villain business, or just have some serious issues about Roxanne."
"Wha-" Megamind started, face flushing faintly even through his disguise simulator. "What does Roxanne have to do with any of this? Since when does talking about fashion footwear move to snarky reporters?" he asked.
"Snarky?" Metro Woman wasn't used to Megamind putting Roxanne down like that. "That's interesting." She sat down on the footstool, and tapped her foot. "Where is that girl with those boots? She either has my size or she doesn't."
"Maybe she went to skin a cow to make them." Megamind replied giving a shrug of his shoulders before putting his hands into his pockets. "Some of the help here is not helpful at all." he huffed, looking around the store as if sizing it up, checking to see if it was possible to launch an attack upon it without destroying any of the surrounding stores. Mainly since the store across the way tended to carry spiked gloves that he was particularly fond of, and didn't want to loose it in the crossfire.
Metro Woman eyed the boots Megamind was wearing. "So... how does this hologram work then? Are you going to be able to take those off to try on the boots she brings back?"
He raised his eyebrows at her, before looking down at his feet, then looked back up at her. "Ah, you'd like to have a clearer understanding of my genius, wouldn't you? Yes... very sneaky, Metro Woman. Trying to flatter me and learn my deep dark evilly dark secrets. Well!" he puffed is chest out before blowing on his knuckles and rubbing them on his chest. "I'm not going to tell you. So put that in your pipe and blow it!"
Metro Woman just sighed. "Well, here she comes, and she has a few boxes. I'll just watch and find out that way." She sat up and started pulling off her own canvas shoes. "Also: Justice doesn't smoke."
"Sorry about that, they were all way in the back!" Tiffany apologized as she approached the two and set the boxes down on the floor. "Now I have size ten here... I think..." she lifted the box and double checked the sticker to make sure the number was correct.
"Where there's smoke there's fire and thus evil." Megamind harshly whispered back at the woman, falling silent wen Tiffany gave him an odd look. "...what... I mean to say is, do you have... the... smoke colored... and by smoke I mean black, boots in a size five?" he asked, twiddling his fingers now against his chest.
"...yes." she replied after a moment, wondering if this guy was 'all there' or not. Lifting the box she handed it to him once handing Metro Woman hers. "If either sizes aren't good I can go check for either a larger or smaller one, but our stocks are dwindling pretty fast what with the sale and all." she explained.
"Thank you, little lady." Metro Woman took the box from Tiffany's hands, and opened it up. Beautifully wrapped white leather was to be found within, and she soon had a lap full of reams of white tissue paper as she unwrapped and unstuffed the soft white zippered knee-high boots. "Ah. This is what I wanted." Metro Woman placed the boot against her foot to see if it fitted. "Hmmm."
She was watched avidly by Megamind and Tiffany as she tried her foot in the boot, but as expected, it was far too small. "I'll go find size eleven then, madam," said Tiffany, as perkily as possible, and hurried off.
Meanwhile Megamind had all but ripped the box open and had lifted out the boots, and was examining them in the same manner that a wine drinker examined the sticker on an aged bottle. He ran his finger along the laces, eyes narrowed in deep concentration as he did so. The black was nice and shiny, rich and deep, and it sang to all good things tanned that the blue-skinned alien loved about leather. Pausing for a minute, he even sniffed the shoe quickly, before turning away from Metro Woman.
"Yes, yes... a fine tanned piece of cow hide." he mumbled to himself, feeling suddenly very exposed.
"I'm sure it is." Metro Woman replied. She stood from the stool, and moved around so that Megamind could sit. "Try them on?"
Super hearing. She had super hearing. Megamind tried to act as if he knew that she would hear him, and fussed as he sat down where she had been sitting. He never usually felt so self conscious when he was the centre of attention.
"Ugh. Warm seat.' he complained, wriggling where he had sat, trying to draw attention away from the nerves he was feeling. Megamind set both boots before him on the floor, but instead of doing the logical thing and going to remove the knee high boots he was currently wearing, his hand went to his left wrist. Fiddling with a watch he was wearing, the shoes virtually vanished, revealing... the very same boots, but these were the real ones. They had scuff marks, whilst the virtual ones had had none.
Humming a tune to himself, that may or may not have been TNT by AC/DC, he unbuckled the boots and slipped them off. Though, instead of revealing blue feet, his feet matched the same tone and color of the pale skin he was wearing for the day. He then proceeded to tug the new boots on, still humming as he did.
Metro Woman, her head tilted to the side, watched as he laced the new boots on. "Don't you wear socks?"
"Since when is the state of my feet so important?" he asked dryly, lifting his gaze to give her a narrow-eyed look.
"I just..." She stopped. "I don't know, I find mine tend to chafe without socks."
"Your skin chafes?" Megamind asked, eyes widening with a child-like wonder. "Justice chafes?" he suddenly chuckled lowly, evilly, as he tapped his fingers together. Oh my, just what had she admitted to and just what was going through his large bald head now?
Her reply was cut off by Tiffany returning. "I've found size eleven, and there's size twelve, not many people want white boots in such a large size and..." Tiffany looked at the two. "...and. I'll... just leave you two to it shall I? Okay then."
Metro Woman took the boxes from her politely, then turned back to Megamind, who had jumped off the footstool and was admiring his boots in front of a mirror.
"Do they fit?"
Megamind looked over his shoulder at her, before doing what could be considered a fairly feminine twirl, his leather jacket swishing around his slim fame as he did before setting his hands on his hips and smiled in a fairly proud, confident manner. "Like a glove." he all but purred, before his face tinted again when he remembered just who he was talking to. "Um. Yes. Yes they do."
Metro Woman sat back down on the footstool, and pulled back the lid of the box, to find an even larger pair of beautiful white leather boots. Reams of tissue paper later, she was able to zip them up over her feet and up to her knees easily. "Ah. Much better." She looked up to see Megamind watching the zipper ascend her leg with an odd look on his face. She tilted her head, looking at him.
No, his knees did not suddenly feel fairly weak nor did his stomach do an odd little somersault. Not at all.Swallowing harshly he turned away from her, looking at his boot-clad feet in the reflection in the mirror, focusing entirely on those and certainly not using it as a means of watching her behind him.
Metro Woman busied herself putting the matching boot on, zipping it up as slowly as she dared, watching him watch her. Interesting...
Megamind suddenly coughed, loudly, and marched himself over to the second nearest seat he could sit on. There had been, unfortunately, a little girl trying on some shoes for school when he all but shoved her off of the seat in order to sit down himself and remove his boots, put them back into their box, pay for them and get out of this store before he make a fool of himself. The little girl glared at him, before huffing and strutting off to find a new place to try shoes on.
Metro Woman stopped looking in his direction altogether, and stood in the boots. Well, they felt right. Rather tight around the ball of her foot? No? Perhaps. She tried a few paces in each direction, still blatantly ignoring Megamind, then checked how they looked in the mirror. These were leather, they'd stretch... She could see him trying to untie his laces, in the mirror, and failing. Apparently they were in a knot. Yes. Very interesting.
Size 11 then. Chosen. Metro Woman sat down on the stool and stopped just before unzipping the boots again. Wait. If he finds them being put ON so distracting... She looked over at him and found him watching her desperately. Oh dear.
And he watched as she very slowly began to tug one of the zips down her leg. Megamind did his best to not watch, really, honestly. But there was something about leather boots that just caught his attention and watching her easily flex and tug on the metal zipper had grabbed his attention by the throat and was not letting go. He let out a weak, tiny noise through his nose as she slid the boot off but finally caught control of his eyes, and his senses, before she did the same with the other boot. Giving up on the laces of his shoes he stood up suddenly, startling a patron beside him, and grabbed his shoe box. I'll wear them out of the shop then.
Stuffing the box under one arm he returned to where he had removed his real boots and shoved them under his arm along with the box before grabbing his other shopping. He cast Metro Woman a sidelong look, tilting his head back as he did so. "So. You normally buy shoes from here?" he asked, trying to appear casual yet failing miserably. Megamind didn't do casual anything.
Metro Woman smiled faintly, packing the white boots into the box. "Little buddy, there aren't that many shops which do white leather... anything." She popped the lid back over the boots, and considered what she was already carrying. Well, this was going to be awkward to carry out. Thank heavens she had super strength...
Megamind actually paused, as he had begun to make his way to the counter, when he saw his nemesis, the woman in white, looking fairly confused at the amount of boxes and bags she had to carry out. Compared to his number of bags, they were nothing. Somehow he forgot she had super strength, super speed, and all the other super abilities as he slowly made his way back to her. "Uh. If you want, I could. I could help..." but then he was struck with the memory, and realization, of who this was and he suddenly became mute.
Instead his face flushed red from embarrassment, and just stood there awkwardly.
The woman in white, however, didn't seem in the least bit upset or shocked by his offer. She tilted her head at him. "I could use a hand. You hold this, and I'll carry the rest." Metro Woman offered him the suit bag. "Just don't let it get crushed." She picked up a huge armload of designer bags, took the boots box in the other arm, and motioned off towards the counter.
A worried looking Tiffany stood at the cash register, watching her two very different customers. "So... um. How did you go?" Her perkiness seemed to have become a bit stale. The other girl at the other cash register eyed her, and she quickly put on a brave, smiling face. "Those shoes fit, Madam?"
"Yes, very well, thank you."
Behind her, Tiffany could see the shorter Goth boy staggering along behind the taller woman, actually carrying one of the many bags which she had carried in. The two actually knew one another? That idea alone had her wondering the nature of the pair's... friendship, if it were, as she began to ring up the price of the boots with the 30% off that they were offering.
Megamind stood behind her, carrying now his boots, boot box, bags, plus the suit bag that he was surprisingly working his best at NOT crushing.
Metro Woman quickly paid for her purchase with cash, deposited the boots box in an already full bag on her arm, and turned to Megamind, reaching for her suit bag. "Thank you, little buddy." She took the suit bag and held it carefully away from her, watching to see him make his own purchase.
"Mffhghfm." he mumbled in reply to her thanking him, and set the box of boots down on the counter before the blond girl. "I'm wearing them out. These are my old ones before you jump to the THRILLING conclusion that I am trying to shop lift a pair of leather boots." Megamind said through his teeth as Tiffany nodded quickly, and began ringing up the price of his boots which were, obviously, the same price as Metro Woman's had.
Setting his bags down, Megamind fumbled for something in his back pocket, before producing a black leather wallet. Tugging it open he kept it close, obviously not wanting someone to notice the Drivers Licence was of a blue man with a giant head, and pulled out one hundred dollar bill and placed it on the counter. The young girl took the money and quickly handed him his receipt, change, and a new bag to carry the somewhat empty shoe box in. Megamind quickly shoved his old boots into the box, before adding it to his growing collection of shopping bags.
Metro Woman paraded out of the shop, and eyed Megamind following behind her. She turned and looked up and down the shopping centre. She had frankly forgotten what else she wanted to purchase at this point.
Megamind had frankly become a huge distraction. He stopped when she stopped, and stood awkwardly, obviously wanting to keep on talking but having no idea what to say.
Okay. "So, what's next on your list?" she asked, keeping her voice light. "Hats?" The moment she said the word, she realised what she'd said, and stopped in horror.
They both stood there for a full beat.
He stiffened all over, and she saw the irate anger slowly flush over his face. His jaw clenched and his chin seemed to stick out slightly as his green eyes very slowly moved from where he had been staring vacantly ahead to look up at her. It was painfully obvious to her that she had just said the very worst thing you could say to a person who was born with a large cranium, but not only that but this was Megamind. Yet, despite the obvious insult he had taken, he was somehow keeping it together.
He took a deep, slow breath of air through his teeth, before forcing out a loud, and incredibly forced and awkward laugh. It drew attention from most of those around them, stopping what they were doing to observe the two, but mostly the Goth boy in leather.
"Funny." he added once his sarcastic, forced laughter had died. "Seeing how this is our day off I am going to... let that ...slide. But only today. And to answer your question, no. Not hats."
"I... um. Sorry." She felt entirely like she'd gone too far. "Well... I was going to head for..." Nothing came to mind. This had been fun, but really she should leave before someone put two and two together in their rapidly growing audience. "I was going to go to the car park." She looked around for a sign. "I've got far too much to carry as it is."
"Car park is this way." he said, still through clenched teeth, and began to make his way through the crowd. Whenever he approached a group of people, be them grown adults or young teenagers, the groups seemed to part for him as easily as the Red Sea had parted for Moses. Seems seeing an angry Goth in black leather carting a bunch of shoe bags was enough to send people separating to give him way.
Metro Woman followed behind, feeling like a big bull following this graceful figure, and they were out in the startlingly hot air of the car park in moments. She looked at the map by the doors as they passed through them, and saw that they were still two levels below roof level. To fly home, she'd need to go up the stairs.
Megamind rounded on her the moment they were out in the open of the layered car park. He looked like he was going to say something, had something planned, but he opened his mouth, stopped, paused, then said, weakly, "So where did you park your car?"
Metro Woman blinked. "My car... the roof? On the roof. Where did you park yours?"
"The basement floor." Megamind replied. Just another reminder how drastically different the two of them were. Day and night, white and black, up and down.
"Okay. Um." She didn't want to just leave, and evidently neither did he. They shuffled their feet in the empty car park, and a car drove past in the distance.
He took a slow breathe of air, then regretted it since car parks always stank of petrol and oil, and while it was a smell he was used to in the confines of his evil lair out here it smelt... different. Somehow. He wasn't in the right frame of mind to ponder the reason behind this, instead all he did was give a cough, turning his head away as he did before looking back up at the taller woman and swallowed dryly.
"Any. Anyway. I. Uh... yes." he started nervously.
At the same time she started talking. "I. If you want. I mean..." They stopped. "You go first." she said.
"Oh, no no. Ladies first." Megamind insisted, bowing his head to her slightly.
"I was wondering... if today is a day off... if you..." Why was this so hard to ask? "If you might want to go out for a drink. After you take those home."
It felt as though time had suddenly decided to freeze. For a moment Megamind wondered if Minion, or a Brain Bot, had accidentally triggered his Freeze Ray... but that was impossible, the ray had been destroyed back when he was eighteen years old by the woman standing in front of him. It had been in pieces for years so no, his Freeze Ray hadnot suddenly stopped the world on its axis at all. She had just asked him out for a drink, after he dropped his shoes back at his Evil Lair. He felt cold and hot at the same time.
Was this a trap? Was she trying to lure him into the open only to drag him off for prison for one of the many, many crimes he had committed in his years of villainy? What if she had the Warden waiting around the corner of said meeting place to drink, to cart him off instead? Then again why would she go to all that bother? It was a day off. A holiday from being bad, and being good. They weren't really enemies of each other right now, were they? Or not? He felt so confused, so conflicted.
Realizing he had probably frozen up and had stared ahead for far too long he finally blinked. His eyes had been starting to dry, after all. "Yes." he heard his voice answer, though it was a small, quiet noise that could easily had been missed by anyone who didn't have super hearing.
She seemed just as shocked as he was. "Okay. Good. Fine." She seemed to have forgotten that her suit bag was now resting on the ground, dangling from her hand. "Um... Do you know the Padstow Arms?"
"I. I think so... I don't. Normally go out for drinks but I'm sure I can find it." Megamind replied weakly, gripping the strings of his bags tightly in his fists. He'll have purple marks across his fingers and palms for sure.
"I'll see you there. At... At six. No, wait, six thirty. Yes. Okay. Great. Bye." She turned, walked as gracefully as she could into the stairwell, and simply flew up the centre of the stairwell, wondering what on earth she had done.
"Do you want me to pick you up?" he called after her, raising his voice and going so far as to even stand on his toes as he called the question out... but realized he was too late. Megamind slowly sagged back to the soles of his feet. "...oh, okay. Yeah. Sure..." Megamind mumbled to himself as he stood there, awkwardly, in the car park before another driving car approached and this time almost knocked his armload of bags. "HEY WATCH IT BUDDY!" he screamed after the retreating car, before huffing and began his long trek down the same stairs Metro Woman had just exited out from.
Half way down he began to speed up, taking two steps at a time. He had... he had to hurry. Yes, he had to hurry. Six thirty. That was five hours and forty two minutes away! He hadn't any time to loose. He had to find something to wear, something classy, something suitable. Did the Invisible Car still work right? It had been rattling something awful as he had driven to the Mall today, after the last altercation with Metro Woman his poor car had taken a hiding with some pummelling fists and heat vision. How else would he get there if his car wasn't up to scratch? Maybe Minion could fix... no, no, even his faithful fish companion couldn't work wonders that quickly.
Swearing to himself, Megamind finally made it to the basement level and all but tripped over his own car. Cursing, he threw his bags into the back seat before climbing into the front and turned off his disguise generator. Sitting there in the drivers side, behind the wheel, he stared ahead blankly for a moment before turning his attention to his reflection in the rear view mirror. Okay. Keep it together, keep it calm. Be cool. Be cool. Just... drive back to the Lair. First step... get home. Then he can panic.
Minion is going to freak.
To be continued