Title: Just One Dance
Author: 1lostone
Universe/Series: Reboot
Rating: Hm. NC-17 to be safe
Relationship status: First-time
Word count: 5384
Genre: Fluff, PWP, Romance
Tropes: jealousy (kind of) Matchmaker!McCoy, Valentines
Warnings: excessive fluffines. 1st person. (Is that a warning? lol)
Additional Pairings: none explicit
Summary: Written for ksvalentine for this prompt: The Enterprise crew hold a Valentine's party and when a slow dance starts and the lights are turned very low, Jim (who's besotted with Spock) asks him for a dance. He reluctantly agrees (he doesn't want to get too close to his irresistible Captain). They enjoy the closeness and one thing leads to another... (OP = anon)
I couldn't believe that I was hiding in a corner. James T. Kirk, ladies' man. James T. Kirk, genius. James T. Kirk, sudden and complete fourteen-year-old girl. I sighed and took a sip of the punch. I saw Uhura dancing with Bones and had to smile. Bones looked stiff- like he hadn't danced in forever. Uhura was so graceful that she made him look worse. He towered over her small frame and I admit, the way he held her so carefully, as though she might break was kinda cute.
Good for them.
I shifted so that I was still in the shadows. People were having fun. I saw Sulu chatting up an Ensign in the botany department, and the broken bits of Russian to my left let me know that Walentines Day was actually inwented in Russia. I turned to look. Yep. My ensign was using those big, blue eyes to his advantage. The woman he was talking to had her back to me, but Chekov was all fluttering eyelashes and big, innocent wide eyes and bouncy hair.
The kid was really a genius. I watched as the two of them left the rec room and settled back into my corner to wait.
The idea for a Valentines Day party was kind of archaic, but everyone had done their part to make it entertaining. I had tried to get Bones to dress up as cupid, you know to sort of ring in the spirit of the celebration, but he wouldn't do it. Still, the place looked great. Scotty had rigged the lighting so it was kind of a muted violet with little pockets of pink shining down on the food tables. The furniture had been rearranged so that the dance floor was spacious. I don't know where the hell Scotty found the disco ball, but it caught the light, reflecting it back onto the party goers.
It had been pure, dumb luck that we had been stuck in deep space, parsecs away from anything even resembling a planet, on a star cartography mission. The end of our five year mission was approaching, and although I couldn't swear to it, I was pretty sure Pike had stuck us out here in the back of beyond to make sure that we survived the next two weeks til we were reassigned. Word of Scotty's party had gotten around like mad. My crew was bored. Even the science department had been whimpering of dead braincells after the four weeks of being stuck out here. Hell, I'd considered taking us to yellow alert when we'd gone through a meteor field just for the excitement. So, yeah. The party had been approved almost immediately. It was a no brainer, really. Here there was alcohol and snuggling involved. I'd had a small skeleton crew of people volunteer to run the ship and had bribed them with an extra few days off. Even Spock had requested the night off "to observe quaint 20th century Terran cultural practices."
Spock.
Fuck, just thinking his name caused my palms to sweat. I can't say exactly when I realized that I felt this way for my stoic First, but jesusalmighty it made working with him awkward. I found myself looking a bit too forward to our rare nights of chess. I'd started reading too much into our mission debriefings, into the way he snarked at me (Well, okay Spock's version of snark seemed to consist mostly of arched eyebrows and words made up of more than five syllables, but it was pretty easy to see when he was pissed off. It usually involved the aftermath of a mission gone horribly awry and me holed up in Sickbay.).
Hell, don't even get me started on how many times I've gotten up from my chair- sometimes even when it was necessary- to go speak to Spock. I was over there so much that I'd damn near worn a path from my chair to his science station. It was only a few weeks ago that I'd been sort of leaning over him, with one hand on the back of his chair and the other pointing something out on the console when I'd found myself smelling him without even realizing what I was doing.
I'd been horrified.
I'd broken off our conversation as soon as I could and retreated in some confusion to my ready room. Realizing that I must have done that sort of thing numerous times in the almost five years that we'd been working together had made me feel actually sick. I'd struggled really hard to overcome my kind of 'affectionate dumbass' persona that I'd cultivated from my Academy days. Spock and I were the best fucking team in Starfleet, and the realization that I had must have been up hovering over him countless times shook my confidence in my professionalism. Spock, thank God, didn't seem to notice that I had tried to distance myself from everything.
I mean, I'm not an idiot. I'd known that I was into him about three seconds after he smirked at me in front of all my classmates, then proceeded to bitch at me for beating his test. Well, the Vulcan equivalent of bitching. But it's one thing to want to get into someone's pants, and another to realize that you are in love with them and don't want to get into their pants because you want to do all that stupid romantic shit with them first.
I sighed, taking a sip of my drink, shifting my shoulder into my little corner. I had a pretty good view of the dance floor. Spock was dancing with Uhura now. I watched them for awhile, feeling miserable. I'd been avoiding him so well that seeing him now with the lights flashing on the smooth skin of his cheek hit me harder than I had thought. There was a shift in the air besides me and I pulled myself out of my gloomy thoughts to grin over at Bones.
"You know, Jim, this is kind of pathetic... even for you."
I blinked, raising my eyebrow.
"Yeah, you heard me, kid. It's a party! Go dance, go flirt, go do something besides stand in this corner. And don't tell me that it's that 'I'm the captain' bullshit that you usually try to feed me, either. I don't think the ship will collapse in on itself if you go and dance with one of your subordinates."
"It's not bullshit, Bones. You know that. You heard what happened on the Excelsior." I could almost hear Bones rolling his eyes. "You worry too much. I'm fine over here."
"You know, normally I'm the grouchy one. You've got cupcakes and booze, kid. What the hell is your deal? You haven't even been down to pester me. I don't think I've seen you down in the mess in ages. I know you're eating..."
"So help me God if you whip out a tricorder here I will dump this on your head."
Uhura's laugh rang out over the sound of the music and the low buzz of conversation. The song had switched to a fast one. Spock looked like he was trying to leave the dance floor, but Uhura had looped her arms around him. Spock's back was to me now as they danced, moving seamlessly together. Shit, I didn't even know that Spock knew how to dance. I tried to watch them without seeming like I was actually watching them.
"Ah." The one syllable brought my attention back to Bones as Uhura whipped them back around. "Maybe I do know what's ailin' ya after all."
Fucking Bones. The only bad thing about surrounding myself with geniuses was that they had a really annoying damn tendency to figure important shit out with alarming regularity. I quickly tried to blank my face again, but the damage had been done. Bones was as perceptive as hell. I didn't say anything, but then again I didn't need to. He was my best friend for a reason.
"Okay, Jimmy. I'll make you a deal. I won't tease you about this- I won't even tease the hob- er, Spock about this, if you go over and ask him to dance."
I-wh- what? I choked on the dregs of my drink, gasping and wheezing as I coughed. Bone's hand on my back didn't actually do anything medical for me. Sometimes I think he just relished hitting me. "You... you want... Bones! I can't do that!" I whirled, staring at him as I gaped, ducking away from his hand on my back as I got my shock under control.
"Sure you can. He's just about the only person here that you could go and fuc- uh. Have relations with without screwing up anything in your precious line of command." Bones took a step forward, looking over my shoulder at Spock and Uhura.
"I don't want to 'have relations' with him, Bones. And I bet he'd rather do just about anything rather than have me of all people dance with him." The last was said with a lot more bitterness than I had meant for it to.
Bones was quiet for a minute as he watched them dance, then set his drink down on the small table next to him. I was astounded when he cupped my cheeks and kissed me on the forehead. I was so surprised in fact, that I would have dropped my drink if Bones hadn't anticipated me, catching it and setting it next to his.
"Jim. Me of all people shouldn't be giving you a pep talk on emotions, but if you don't go over there and ask Spock to dance with you, you'll regret it. Trust me on this, kid." This was a Bones I'd only ever seen a few times in the almost eight years of knowing him. His big hands were soft on my cheeks, drifting down onto my shoulders and squeezing gently. "We've got two more weeks of fiddlefucking around in the middle of nowhere before we report back to 'Fleet for refit and reassignment."
Yeah, I'd been trying my damndest to ignore that little fact of reality. Thanks, Bones.
"God knows where any of us is gonna be in a few months. If I know you at all, kid I know you've been worrying over this in that great big brain of yours like a terrier with a bone. The Jim Kirk I know isn't afraid of anything, and the Jim Kirk I know certainly doesn't need a Goddamn pep talk to go and do what he's dying to do anyway. I'm a doctor, JIm. Not a relationship counselor. Go ask the damn hobgoblin to dance."
That made me laugh, as Bones knew it was supposed to do. I turned around and bit my lip, a flood of nervousness attacking my stomach. It was just a dance. Spock didn't have to know that I was in love with him. That I'd probably remember this dance for the rest of my life. It was just a dance... to help him further his cultural studies. Right. I snorted when Bones slapped my ass for encouragement and gave me a little push out of my dark corner and onto the dance floor.
The song changed just then, to something slower. Couples all around were led onto the dance floor, until it seemed like there was a sea of people. I heard Uhura's laugh and tried not to cringe. I could do this. It wasn't the big deal that I was making it into.
Only it was.
"No, Spock. I don't think so. I need a drink and to rest my feet. You try dancing in these boots, oh hey, Jim." Uhura gave Spock some sort of look that I couldn't quite decipher and smiled at me.
"Hi."
Hi? Hi? Really? Oh my God if I were anyone else I'd be laughing at myself. I cleared my throat. and smiled back. "Oh, well in that case... Spock? Do you want to.. uh. To dance with me?" I had to watch as Spock blinked at me, stifling his surprise. I don't know how long we stood there before Uhura looked from Spock to me, rolling her eyes and giving
Spock a little push so that I found myself with an armful of Vulcan.
Spock must have been surprised, because I've tried to push him. It was like pushing a brick wall when he didn't want to move. That or Uhura was freakishly strong- a fact that I kind of suspected anyway, to be honest.
"That would be acceptable."
Oh God. Even his voice sent my stupid heart knocking around my chest. This was ridiculous. I don't think I was even this nervous the first time I tried to kiss Jenny Hamstein behind my dad's barn. Spock shifted and we arranged our arms around each other. There had to be at least three feet between our bodies. Fuck. This was as awkwardly horrible as I had feared. I could actually hear my heartbeat, thudding so quickly that it was like some weird bass accompaniment to the slow song that it took me a few minutes to sort out who was going to lead, causing me to trip a little as I gave up control of the dance to Spock.
We were quiet for a moment as we danced. I couldn't get past how hot he was. Whenever I was close to him it always shocked me to feel the small blast of heat that he gave off, like a furnace.
"Jim."
I was startled out of my thoughts at the sound of my name and tilted my head to look up at Spock.
"My research has led me to believe that when two partners accompany each other in a dance to music of such an unhurried, measured pace that there was a distance of approximately 0.1016 meters between the two bodies. In instances where congress of an intimate nature has occurred, or if one of the partners desires such congress the distance is between 0.0508 to 0.0635 meters."
I didn't know what to say to that, other than the fact it made me ultra fucking paranoid that he knew I wanted him. I made a mental note to watch my distance. "Ah, yeah. Sometimes, Spock."
We were quiet for a few more minutes as he moved me around the dance floor. I was trying so hard not to be selfish. Really, I was. I knew that Spock wasn't going to be thinking over this later, imagining what would happen if our faces were just a little bit closer, trying to remember the somewhat spicy scent of his shampoo...
"Jim, may I ask you a personal query?"
I could feel the puff of his breath against my cheek and tried not to shiver, forcing my gaze back to his shoulder. "Sure. What's up, Spock?" Telling him that he had free reign to ask me anything hadn't worked yet in all our years of working together hadn't stopped him from asking. I doubt it ever would. And if I found it completely adorable, well that was my own fault.
"Why, if you did not wish to dance with me, did you allow your Doctor McCoy to push you into doing so?"
What?
I forgot to step for a second and stumbled when Spock moved, tripping over my own foot so that my weight crashed against Spock, causing him to have to steady me. I jerked my eyes from Spock's shoulder and up to his eyes. What I saw made my breath catch in my throat. It wasn't my imagination. Spock's brown eyes looked... hurt.
"I regret the necessity of commenting on what was clearly a private conversation, but I confess that I do not know how I have offended you, Jim. And Humans always seem to forget the auditory range of.."
Shit. Superior Vulcan hearing. I quickly went over the pep talk Bones had given me and felt myself blushing. "Ah.."
"Indeed, your embarrassment is indicative of a desire to be elsewhere. If that is the case then-"
"No! No, Spock. I'm just surprised. There's no reason for you to be worried."
"As a Vulcan, I do not subscribe to the human emotion-"
I interrupted him again. "Of human emotion. Right. I know, Spock. Poor choice of words." I forced a smile. "No, what you overheard was just Bones kind of telling me something that I already knew."
Spock turned us on the floor. It occurred to me that we were hardly moving. He cocked his head and stared down at me, looking puzzled. The song changed again to something even slower. I panicked for a minute. Instinctively, I tried to move away from Spock, desperate to keep my stupid crush a secret. I don't know what I was thinking, really. I guess I had just had it set in my mind that distance equals safety and my body struggled against what it really wanted to do, which was step closer to Spock and just enjoy the next few minutes. I knew my face must have showed shock or something very much like it, because when I tried to pull away, Spock just curled his arm around my waist, pulling us together. I could feel his hands on my hipbones, his long fingers curling around me.
All of my breath left me on a woooosh. My hands came to his chest, one palm resting on his pectoral, the other on his collarbone, my own fingers brushing against the incredibly hot skin of his neck.
In instances where congress of an intimate nature has occurred, or if one of the partners desires such congress the distance is between 0.0508 to 0.0635 meters."Yeah, okay so I was slow. The fact that Spock was touching me publicly should have clued me in. My brain did this weird thing where part of it wanted to flail around like a moron, and the other part wanted to run away sobbing that Spock only wanted me for sex.
Weird. I didn't think Vulcans did casual sex.
I gave myself a mental shrug and took a small step closer, bringing both arms up and looping them around Spock's neck. I actually felt him relax, a little puff of breath against my cheek signifying that my stoic First wasn't as unemotionally vested as he claimed.
"I wanted to dance with you, Spock. I think you'd be surprised to know how much."
"Perhaps. I am not often surprised, Jim."
Oh God. I wasn't imagining it. His thumb was moving in small circles on my hip. His left hand slid slowly over my lower back, pulling me even closer. My chest brushed against his and I must have done something, must have made some small sound in the back of my throat because he was so close and I couldn't look away from his lips and.
A wolf whistle pierced through the rec room and I jumped back, Spock dropping his arms immediately. I shut my eyes as shame overwhelmed me. When I opened them again, Spock was gone, swallowed up in the sea of dancing bodies, grinning faces.
Fuck me.
_
The knock on my door surprised me.
I'd been sitting in my room, staring at the half-empty bottle of Scotty's hootch, thinking of all the ways I'd managed to fuck that up. Was it such a big deal that Spock wanted me? No. No it wasn't damnit. I should just be glad that he wanted me at all. And yeah, I was aware of the irony of the fact that it was me who was all besotted and not my partner.
I mean, I tried not to be an asshole. When I hooked up with someone, everyone understood that it was just for that night. Or hour. Whatever. That was part of the reason that I rarely hooked up with the same person twice. Some of it was that it really killed the buzz when someone told me that they just had to introduce me to so and so- like their own status would be higher just by banging me. But a lot of it was that I wasn't really into the idea of someone falling in love with me. I'd seen what it did to my mom. And frankly from my limited experience it sucked giant, hairy balls.
The knock came again and I jumped a little in my seat. It wasn't to the door to my quarters that opened out into the corridor, but instead the sound came from the bathroom.
The bathroom that I shared with Spock.
I jumped up so fast that if my chair hadn't been soldered to the floor it would have fallen over with a crash.
Spock. It had to be.
The fact that he might be trying to get my attention in order to kill me didn't occur to me until after I had unlocked the door and watched it open with a soft fwwwump. Spock really, really didn't like to be touched, and I had practically humped him right there on the goddamn dance floor. In front of our crew. Shit. Shitshitshit.
Spock and I stared at each other for a second. from the other side of the bathroom I saw Bones. I did an honest-to-God double-take, staring over Spock's shoulder in shock. Bones gave me a thumbs up, before waggling his fingers and stepping back so that the door slid shut.
I turned my panic-stricken face back to Spock, who took a step forward. For a second the feeling of betrayal sliced through me. I couldn't believe that Bones would tell Spock everything. But why else would Spock be here? I even felt bad for Spock. He hadn't asked for this.
"Jim."
Just the one syllable. I winced, shutting my eyes. I didn't even know where to begin. "God, I don't even know where to begin to apologize to you, Spock."
"Apologies are illogical."
That made my lips twist in a ghost of a grin. I realized we were standing here in my bathroom and started to turn.
"Spock, sorry about that. Do you want a drink or something? I can get you some juice maybe?"
I was utterly dumbfounded when Spock caught my hand, his fingers intertwining with mine.
"No, Jim. I find that I have everything that I need."
Did I mention that I was slow? I swear my knees went weak when he used my hand to turn me back around to face him, taking another step closer to me so that our uniforms brushed against each other again. Spock looked down at our joined hands for a second, a small frown on his lips as he puzzled through something. He turned my hand over in his and traced the lifeline with the tip of his other finger.
"You think that McCoy betrayed you? And you are feeling... embarrassment. Lust. Confusion."
Longing.
I nodded. Spock had rarely done his Vulcan whammy on me. I could feel a little buzz of electricity where he touched me. It made my hand tingle, causing me to breathe a little heavier. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he had initiated this contact between us. That Spock actually wanted to touch me. I had spent so many hours trying so hard not to give away what I felt that it never, not once occurred to me that he might have the same feelings.
"Yeah." My voice was hardly above a whisper, deeper than usual with want.
"You thought that I only wished to take your body. To use you. To let you use me. Like your other lovers. Yet you would allow this, even though you harbor … emotion towards me."
I nodded dumbly.
Spock's hand tightened sharply on mine, causing me to wince. "I am not like your other lovers, Jim."
Then his lips were on mine and I swear to God, I forgot my own fucking name when he kissed me. He was not shy, like I imagined he would be. He certainly wasn't cold, or distant. Spock moved so that his leg was firmly between mine, his arms wrapping around me again like they did during our dance. Only this time, his hand moved to cup my butt, flexing once before pulling me closer to him. My own arms coiled around his neck and my world tilted when he just took a step to the left, holding me to him with absolutely no effort. I felt the bulkhead against my back and him at my front and couldn't think anymore with his mouth over mine, my tongue tangled with his.
Spock moved his leg, tilting me with both hands on my ass so that I rode his thigh. I thought my eyes were gonna roll back in my head. I was dizzy, sweating a little from our proximity and the way Spock just moved me over him, tilting my body until I had to rip my mouth away from his, thunking it uncomfortably against the wall as I gasped for breath. My cock was trapped in my uniform pants, and Spock had to know how hard I was by the way he moved me so that I had friction against my balls and the bottom of my ass, but nothing where I really needed it.
Enough of this passive shit.
Moaning now, I slid my hands over his body, yanking off his shirts with a small hitch of my breath. Spock grunted when I bent to lick at his chest, tugging on the small curl of chest hair with my lips before flicking my tongue over his nipple. He gasped and I went a little crazy, moving my mouth all over everything that I could reach like I could hunt out another sound like that with only my tongue. One of my hands wormed its way down Spock's pants, and he actually froze when I cupped my hand over his dick, still encased in his underwear.
It made me pause for a second. I opened my eyes to see Spock in front of me, his cheeks stained a little green, his usually painfully straight hair mussed a little from where I had yanked off his shirts. I could see wet little marks all over his shoulders and neck, and a hell of a good one on his jaw that I just knew would bruise later. His eyes were shut, his eyelashes seeming very dark against his pale skin. He wasn't pulling away or anything, but maybe he was a little overwhelmed. I leaned forward so that I could whisper in his ear, my tongue flicking against the lobe, tracing the cartilage. There was a trick to kissing someone's ear so that you didn't sound like you had just run three miles uphill, but I figured with Spock's hearing he would hear me breathing regardless, so I figured what the hell.
"Spock. When we're touching like this, can you pick up images? Or just feelings."
"I can-"
I nipped at the tip of his ear before sucking on it smirking a little at the way he swallowed hard, gulping a little.
"Images. I can see some images if I have an intimate connection with whomever is touching me."
Awesome. "And would you say that our connection is.. intimate?" I left his ear alone, just resting my forehead against his for a moment.
"In-" He actually had to start again- something that made me feel smug as fucking hell. "Indeed. Although I do desire that our connection become quite a bit more intimate, immediately."
I sent a flood of images to him, dirty, filthy fantasies that I'd had for what felt like forever, shaping each one clearly in my mind. Spock actually twitched, before making a sound that to my ear reminded me of a growl, deep in his chest.
When I pulled my forehead away his eyes were open, focused intently on mine.
I thought for a second that I would actually pass out when all the blood in my body rushed to my cock, sending it throbbing behind my uniform. I shifted and Spock moved so that I could go down to my knees, my cheek nuzzling against him as I did so. I looked up at him once, to check that this was really okay before inhaling. The scent of him was sharper here, and I couldn't wait to get my mouth on him. I unbuttoned his pants, carefully undoing the zip so that I wouldn't hurt him and leaned forward to feel the heat of his cock against my cheek. I nuzzled at him again before slowly pulling down his underwear.
I had one second of Oh my God- this is Spock- this is Spock- before my mouth closed over the head of his cock, no fucking around. I wanted to taste him. I'd actually dreamed about this, waking up hard and desperate thinking of him sleeping in his room, separated from me by only the thin bulkhead. Spock sighed and I moved my mouth down, before getting my tongue involved, wrapping it around him so that I could taste.
"Jim..." Spock's gasp only made me work harder, sucking and teasing, pulling off and going back down on him so that the spongy head of his cock bumped against the back of my throat. I was a little out of practice at deepthroating someone, and had a second to feel the bass-like growl before my hair was gripped in one hand, Spock tilting my head up so that he could look down at me. My eyes fluttered open slowly and I relaxed my throat muscles, moving down and tightening my throat. I sent him an image of him fucking my mouth and saw his eyes widen, his grip on my hair tightening as one hand slid down over my face. I could feel the same low-grade buzz of electricity, feel my jaw start to ache as he thrust shallowly into my mouth, heard him mutter something that sounded faintly familiar before something in my mind burst into this kaleidoscope of color. I could feel/hear/sense Spock all around me. I could feel my lips on his cock, feel my cock in his mouth, sensation doubled so deeply that I honestly couldn't tell where he began and I left off.
I wanted to laugh when i realized what he was doing. Spock practically rolled me in what he felt for me, bathed me in love and lust and hope and affection and love you love you/loveloveloveyouSpockloveyou until I had one second of worry because I didn't know how to send anything back before I was coming, my orgasm sending Spock crashing after me.
For a minute all I could see was white. Slowly, I realized that my heart was still beating a desperate tattoo against my chest/side and I was gently moving forward/backward to let oxygen into my starved lungs. It was cowardly, especially after everything, but I couldn't look up at him yet. Spock solved that by lifting me one-handed, the other still pressed to my face. He licked at the corner of my mouth, and I shivered, realizing that he was tasting himself before our lips met again. Once. Twice, before Spock moved me so that my back was against the bulkhead again. He was so hot against me. My mind was blissfully blank as my hand crept into his. Spock curled me into his body and I/we were happy and hopeful and together and sated...
And loved.
Well, Anony, I hope you liked it! I kind of went a little crazy with the prompt, so sorry it's not exactly what you requested...
