Me: Ok so I guess I'm having a major creative moment this week......
Naruto: Why, why can't you just leave us alone!!!!!!!!!!
Me: (holds up ramen) Here boy, come here boy, good boy!
Naruto: (goes all glossy eyed) RAMEN! (aGoes into a cute little puppy mode type thing)
Me: (throws ramen into closet) Go get it boy!
Naruto: (Flings himself into the closet after the ramen)
Me: (Slams closet shut and locks it) Well that gets rid of that problem... (looks at Sasuke)
Sasuke: (backs away slowly) hey, no problem here......
Me: You know I thik this has been the most productive prefic ever.......
Lee; (runs by naked screaming wildy and flailing arms)
Gaara: (chasing him with a stick and a tube of lube)
Me: O.O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAH MY EYES MY BLOODY FREAKIN EYES THEY HAVE BEEN TAINTED BY THE SITE!
Sasuke: X_X what has been seen can never be unseen.....
Me: (Cowering in a corner and rocking back and forth on heals) It never happened, it never happened, no it never happened!
Sasuke: (throws up)
Naruto: (bursts from the closet) Yes, RAMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (eats the ramen) (looks at us) what the heck happened to you two?
Me: You don't wanna know.......
Sasuke: The horror.....the horror!
Naruto: ...................um? You want me to go ahead and do the thingy? (is happy he got ramen so doesn't care about his fate)
Me: (shivering) uh huh......T-T
Naruto: Ok then.... X-alexius-X does not own Naruto in any way, shape, and/or form. This includes Manga, anime, characters, murchandise, and the causings of deaths and or whatever I forget and can't think of at this time and place.......can I have some more ramen?
Me: ....whatever just start the show.....I will never be the same again.....
Naruto: Alright on with the show. Ramen, here I come BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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The Price of Learning
Sasuke Uchiha was completely dumbfounded. This was pure and utter bullshit! God Damn it he was an Uchiha and that automatically meant that he should know every justu imagionable. Yet here he was, standing outside the dwelling place of the ninja who knew a jutsu that he himself did not know. That ninja was none other than one Uzamaki Naruto. Oh how Sasuke loathed being forced to resort to this. He sucked up all his sparks of despise and loudly pounded on the door. He would have punched the peice of shit thing into fire wood, but then that probably would have hindered his attempts at being taught anything. He growled as the first loud pounds recieved no answer. His reaction was to slam his fist harder into the door and actually cause a few good dents. He was about to slam it again, when the door opened and his hand almost made contact with a pissed Naruto.
"What the hell do you want Teme? I'm trying to meditate in here!" Naruto shouted into his face. Sasuke just scoffed at the thought of the loud mouthed ninja doing meditation of any sort for very long, let alone be good at it.
"Why the hell do you have to be here pounding on my door anyway. Holly shit you put dents in it! I'm gonna make you pay for that with the money from our next mission. Do you hear me you stupid peice of shit!" Naruto continued. He would have kept going on with his rant had Sasuke not chosen that exact moment to reveal why he was there in the first place.
"Teach me your Sexy-no-Jutsu." he said bluntly, causing an imediate silencing reaction from the blonde idiot that was standing in front of him. Naruto just stood there, staring with big shocked eyes and his mouth half open from his past actions. Then, without warning, he burst out into completely uncontrollable laughter. He laughed so hard that he even fell over and started rolling on the floor laughing. Sasuke held back the urge to kick him in his completely vulnerable position. He just held back a snarl and clenched his fists until Naruto was done. It took a little over ten minutes before Naruto was able to get a grip over himself and the door frame, standing up while holding onto his gut. He had that big old if-this-is-true-I-am-so-gonna-make-you-so-humiliated-and-you-will-never-forget-it kind of grin on his face.
"Wait, did I hear that right? Did the great Sasuke Uchiha just order me to teach him the Sexy-no-Justu technique?" he sneered, kniwing full well that it was what he had heard. He just wanted to get as much out of this as he could and Sasuke knew it. Instead of raising to the bait, Sasuke just gave hime a technical answer.
"Yes Dobe." he said, trying to hold back the shame he felt for having to actually admit it. Naruto just let his smirk grow into a full blown fox smirk with slitted eyes and everything. Sasuke missed the 'perfect' that he whispered as he whisked the raven haired boy into the shadows of his apartment. He leaned down close and whispered wickedly into Sasuke's ear.
"Alright, but there's a price. There's always a price." Sasuke shivered at the thought. Of course all he thought was that his wallet would be very thin before this was over. So, thinking that, he gave his answer.
"Hn, whatever." Naruto had an evil glint in his eye when he pulled away. His grin was now another smirk as he rummaged around his apartment. Sasuke waited by the door, wondering what the hell the idiot could be searching for. His eyes almsot grew to the size of saucers when he saw what the dobe came up with, almost. He managed to keep his normal uchiha composure as Naruto dropped a pile of porno magazines on his coffe table. He watched with amazement as the moron also walked up beside sasuke and shut and locked his door. When he was ushered over to sit down on the couch he couldn't hold his curiosity in any longer.
"What the hell are you doing dobe?" he asked calmly. Naruto just smiled at him.
"In order to use the Sexy-no-Jutsu you first have to study the feminin figure. Of course, you seem to have that part pretty much down before you even need to change." he said, pointing out the fact that Sasuke was already pretty feminin. Sasuke's eyes turned murderous and he went to slit the retards throat, but Naruto put up a finger and reprimanded him.
"Now, now no killing the teacher or you'll never learn. So come on, pick up a book. Notice her legs, how curved she is, the ample breasts on this one. It's enough to drive any man wild." Sasuke humphed angrily and grabbed a magazine and hastily began to read. He stared at the women that were there in very naughty poses. Naruto was right that they would drive any man wild, but Sasuke wasn't just any man. He looked on in total uncaring. None of the women affected him in any way, sexually or not. He had always seen women like this, completely un attractive no matter what they did. To bad his fangirls couldn't tell he didn't give a rats ass about how they looked. He looked up from a very disturbing picture of a girl and a few toys to see Naruto watching him, waiting for some kind of reaction. Sasuke humphed again and threw the book on the table. Naruto frowned.
"What, not good enough for you, or do you prefer the more kinky?" he asked. Then he looked like a brilliant idea had come to him, shocking really. Then he let his thoughts be known.
"Or, do you prefer men to women?" Sasuke stiffened and probably would have killed the bastard had not Naruto decided to get serious.
"Whatever, come on let's go." Sasuke looked at him, wary of another jibe.
"Where?" he asked. Naruto rolled his eyes.
"I'm not about to teach you inside my apartment. I don't want smoke and stuff in here." he said. That was logical enough, because the place was so small. So that was how they found themselves out in a secluded training ground completely surrounded by trees.
"Alright. Now pay attention to what I do." Naruto said. Sasuke just nodded. He watched as Naruto produced a wild movement of hand signs and transformed into a big boobed hotty. He ignored the giggles and kisses that the idiot sent his way and NAruto transformed back in defeat.
"Ok teme, your turn." he said. He sat down by a tree and waited for Sasuke to perform. Sasuke just humphed and did the handmotions. He actually messed up the last sign and when he transformed it was bad. He had turned into a skinny lady with her ribs showing and practically no hair. Naruto just stared for a few seconds and then burst out laughing, pointing dramatically at Sasuke and clutching his gut. Sasuke turned back and gave it another try. This time he was an overly fat bald chick with canckles. This made Naruto laugh even harder. Sasuke was pissed with himself. He thought that it would be easy, therefore he had not activated his technique. No he thought better of it and all he had to do was talk Naruto into showing him again.
"Yeah, like yours was any better." he simply said. Naruto took the bait.
"Oh yeah, it's a hell of a lot better than anything you could do." he shouted before rapidly changing into his female version. Luckily Sasuke had used his Sharingan and had it memorized. Sasuke just hned and transformed into a naked girl with long black pigtails, big breasts, black nails, and silver eyeshadow. Naruto just stared. Oddly enough the sight of a naked girl wasn't getting him aroused as it should have been. No, he was slightly angry at how fast Sasuke had learned. It had taken him forever just to come up with it. He had a plan though.
"Alright bastard, let's see if it can fool anyone. Come on." he said before running off. Sasuke poofed back to normal and ran after them. They found theirselves at a local hotspring. Naruto pointed to the female changing room.
"Use your other form to get in there and steal a bra." he ordered. Sasuke just smirked. He made sure no one was looking and turned into a girl with a short white dress on. He walked fancily inside. The girls were talking loud enough for Naruto to hear.
"Oh, who are you?" he heard Sakura's shrill voice. Naruto shuddered. He had over come his crush on her and now saw her in a creepier light.
"I was here earlier and I think I left my bra here." Sasuke's now feminin voice said. Naruto waited for one of them to see throguh the bastards disguise. They didn't.
"We'll help you look." Sakura said. He heard a bunch of people shuffle away. Then, unseen by him, Sasuke stole Sakura's bra while they were all looking away.
"Oh, there's my black bra." he lied as he walked out. The girls didn't notice a thing. Naruto was furious that they hadn't seen through it. He growled as Sasuke handed him the bra. He threw it on the ground and turned to leave. Before he did he gave out a warning.
"Don't forget, you still owe me for this tomorrow." he said, an idea stricking through his head. With that he ran off. Sasuke just shrugged, changing back, and walked off.
The next day Sasuke was waiting for Naruto to show himself around the village. The team had the day off from training and he figured he might as well get his stupid debt paid. Besides, the dobe must be hungry by now. He looked around the corner and saw the subject of his search walking with a white back in his hand. When he spotted the Uchiha he ran forward and grabbed onto his wrists.
"Come with me." he said, dragging the boy back to his house. Once they were safely locked inside he Smiled evily at Sasuke.
"What are we here for?" Sasuke asked. Naruto just shrugged.
"Oh I just thought you could pay the price here. I mean, you probably don't want everyone else to see you now do you?" he asked. Sasuke was suddenly very scared even though he didn;t outwardly show it. He had thought the dobe wanted ramen, but apparently not. Who knew what he had thought up.
"What do you mean?" he asked, not letting an ounce of uncool breach his well guarded self. Naruto smirked.
"Well, since you took so easily to being a girl I Figured you like to dress like on as a man. Plus I could use a maid for the day." he said. He reached into the bag and pulled out a newly bought bikini that had white lace kind of like the stuff on a maids uniform, a pair of heals that had strapps that wrapped up the leg, and a feather duster.
"No way in hell!" Sasuke said, seething with anger. He would have totally destroyed the blond for the hundreth time in the past two days if the moron wasn't smart enough to black mail him.
"If you don't I'll just have to tell everyone that I taught the great Uchiha that special technique, and Saskura that you stole her bra, and Neji that you took porn pictures of Hinata!" Naruto said, holding up the bra he had gone back to get and the pictures he had stolen from Gaara. Sasuke's blood ran cold and what little color of anger that had been in his cheeks drained.
"You wouldn't." it was more of an accusation thatn a question. Naruto just smirked, signaling that he would. Sasuke just growled and grabbed the abominable garments. He went into the bathroom and changed. When he came out again the sight almost gave Naruto a nose bleed. Instead he just stood their dumbfounded. Sasuke was pissed and a fraction of an inch away from murdering Naruto and all of Konoha. This was probably why Ninja's went Awol. This was going to be a very interesting day.
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Me: I would have kept going but I have to go Bull Shit my way through a Biology report and a lie that someone wants proof for so I'll take this into another chapter.
Sasuke: WHAT IN FUCKING GOD"S NAME WERE YOU THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Somone;s lost their temper......
Sasuke: (pulls out knife)
Me: Wait, the best parts isn;t even here yet......
Sasuke: Do I get to kill Naruto while making him scream?
Me: Well you get to make him scream, but you have to let me live to see if you kill him.....
Sasuke: (puts weapon away) fine.
Me: Whew....sorry Naru-kun
Naruto: O.O; why me?