This is the sequel to my first story True love never dies! This is after Kenpachi finds out about Ruri'iro Kujaku. Hope you like it!
I DON'T OWN BLEACH
Ikkaku stared at his sleeping lover. His heart ached as he looked at the bandaged wrists and the tear stained face. He wonder how it had come to this. If he and Renji hadn't found Yumichika, when they did, he would have bled to death. Ikkaku sighed as he continued watching Yumichika. He got up and went closer to the bed and stared at the sleeping man instantly noticing the fresh tears that stained the beautiful face. He can't escape even in his dreams he suffers! Didn't I say I wouldn't abandon him and yet all it took was our captain finding out about Ruri'iro and I let this happen! Ikkaku sighed frustrated with himself for letting this happen. He reached forward and gently caressed Yumichika's pale cheek. He watched Yumichika's eyelids flutter open, revealing beautiful violet eyes, that were strained with sorrow and pain.
"Don't touch me Ikkaku!" Yumichika growled breaking Ikkaku's heart. Does that mean, Yumichika, that we're not lovers anymore? Does this mean you aren't going to forgive me this time? Ikkaku wondered pulling his hand away before Yumichika could smack it away. He watched trying to convey his thoughts to words. To try and defend his actions, but as he watched Yumichika struggle to sit up everything faded to the one person in front of him. A man that had followed him faithfully and done everything to help him, to love him. Ikkaku reached forward, toward Yumichika, only to get his hand smacked away.
"I said don't touch me!" Yumichika exclaimed sitting up. Looking out the window into the world of darkness, he sighed. It was happening, yet again, and still he couldn't help but wish that he could stay by Ikkaku's side. I have given you everything I could and still you picked the captain over me. I wonder if I was right and I am trash. I'm not worth loving or caring about in any way. I haven't thought like that in years! Yumichika thought as he looked at Ikkaku. His gaze, through all the pain, remained loving and gentle toward the man that had broken his heart and body so many times.
"Why would you do this Yumichika?!" Ikkaku asked looking at Yumichika and letting his gaze flow down to the mans small wrists, both were bandaged, and were red with the beautiful mans blood. Yumichika raised an elegant eyebrow. Why wouldn't I? I told you didn't I? That I couldn't survive it all again. Yumichika thought feeling a sense of calm.
"Do what Ikkaku? Try to kill myself?" Yumichika replied still calm. Crushing any feelings of sadness and hatred, for he felt hatred toward Ikkaku for the first time, with an iron fist of pure will power he kept that out of his features. You wont even let me die in peace. That isn't fair Ikkaku! I would let you die if you wanted to, but when it's me that wants something I don't get it. I thought I made you happy these last ten years.
"Damn it! Yumichika don't play stupid you know what I'm talking about!!" Ikkaku yelled and watched Yumichika's face remained calm, which only served to fuel Ikkaku's anger. Before he could even think of what he was doing he had grabbed Yumichika by his wrist and slammed him into the wall. He began to tighten the grip on Yumichika's small wrists. See if that gets rid of that false calmness. Ikkaku thought, as he watched, tears form in Yumichika's beautiful violet eyes. He didn't know whether it was physical pain or hurt feelings that caused the tears.
"I-Ikkaku you're hurting me." Yumichika whimpered. He watched Ikkaku smiled at him without releasing him. Yumichika's eyes widened as he felt fear shot through his body and mind. Ikkaku! His going to hurt me! I can't do this anymore! I can't stay calm anymore. I can't even move! Even if he does hurt me I'll still love him! Won't I? I'm that stupid! Yumichika thought, this time, fear flashed in his eyes making Ikkaku realize what he was doing. He stared into Yumichika's eyes and watched the fear disappeared and was replaced by a sad smile and eyes full of tenderness, of affection for him and only him. Yumichika didn't even care about the pain he wanted to love Ikkaku forever.
"Go ahead Ikkaku. Do what ever you want to me. It doesn't matter anymore." Yumichika stated his eyes filled with tears that refuse to roll down the pale face. He doesn't care? What if I hurt him now? I wouldn't forgive myself if I hurt him again but would he even try to stop me? As the thoughts entered his mind he realized that Yumichika wasn't done talking.
"What's wrong? I thought you were going to hurt me. I'm sorry to inform you but there is nothing more that you can do to hurt me." Yumichika stated. Smiling at Ikkaku. Yumichika watched faking every word. You can still hurt me but not much worse them this. Who would have thought it? You, who saved me, ended up killing my heart and will? Yumichika chuckled making Ikkaku look at him in confusion. All the fear was gone replaced with a look of defiance.
"If I wanted to I could hurt you, Yumichika." Ikkaku stated and watched Yumichika's smile was gone replaced by a look of pure hatred and anger. Which made Ikkaku's chest twist in agony. Is this what he felt when I told him he didn't mean anything to me? Is this what I looked like when I found out about Ruri'iro Kujaku full of hatred and anger toward him? I can't believe this is happening again and this time he does hate me. I have truly lost you. Haven't I?
"I know and it hurts. It hurts so much to think that you'd hurt me. That's what hurts me the most. I love you Ikkaku and that's what makes this so hard. If you were anyone else I wouldn't care, but your my life! Your my whole world and for someone, that you haven't known half as long as me, you'd throw me aside." Yumichika whispered watching Ikkaku with so much love and hurt in those violet orbs. It was bitter sweet to Ikkaku who had believed Yumichika didn't love him anymore. Ikkaku moved his hands to Yumichika's elbows holding him up without hurting him.
"You're a fool! That isn't what I asked." Ikkaku said and watched. Yumichika's sigh lightly as the pressure was removed from his injured wrists. Yumichika looked at him and opened his mouth a few times before finally saying something.
"I did this to escape! You might not need me but I'll always need you. I've learned what love was from you! Love, to me, is the tingle that I feel when you touch me, the happiness I feel when you say you love me, and the joy of existing by you side! The warmth I feel when you look at me, the strange mixer of happiness and bliss when you kiss me and the pure pleasure that only you can give me. That's what love is to me! You're what love is to me." Yumichika stated watching Ikkaku's eyes widen in surprise. He couldn't help but smile at Ikkaku. I'll tell you. This is what we promised each other to share our feelings. Isn't it? I'll let you feel my pain.
"Ikkaku I had to. You let him break my arm and crush my sprite. When I was allowed to go home you weren't there. I was alone and them the message came, Yumichika Ayasegawa you are officially going to be transferred to another squad. I instantly realized you hadn't been there because you didn't want to help me deal with it!" Yumichika told him with sadness.
"So instead of letting them kick me out I grabbed the things that were dear to me and left. Rukongai was my home once with you and so I went there. It was so hard. Everywhere I went I remembered our time there! Until I couldn't take it anymore! I needed an escape and death was what I came up with!" Yumichika closed his eyes and looked out the window feeling his ex-captain's sprite energy coming closer.
"I hope that answers you question. You should get going Ikkaku. Kenpachi is coming." Yumichika stated closing his eyes and leaning back until his head rested on the wall.
"After all I'm not important enough." Yumichika told him and before he could answer Yumichika had laid down, on the bed, and closed his eyes. He was asleep as quickly as he had awoken. He was shocked to see the locket he had given Yumichika around his neck shinning with its owners tears.
Plz read review tell me what you think and I hope you liked it.