Spoilers: Everything up to Christmas 2007 is fair game.
Summary: Sara's gone. Gil is alone. So he gives her the only thing he can. His word.
Rating: T
When all you have left are words
Chapter 1 – Gils letter
Honey,
I know you said goodbye, but I can't. I'll never let you go. I won't. I know I haven't always been there for you, and I know I don't always say the right thing. But I do love you. And I know you love me. I know we've spoken on the phone, but it's hard for me to express the way I truly feel. I'm always left with a feeling that I should have said more.
I love you, and I trust you. I'm sending you something I would never trust anyone else with. I never intended for anyone to read this. These are my feelings, my deepest darkest secrets, my fears, my needs, my desires. I wrote this for myself, but I need you to know. To understand. Words is all I have left now, it's all I can offer you. I want to hold you in my arms, to comfort you, wipe away your tears, but I can't. Know that if you need me, I'll drop everything to be by your side. Not only because you need it, but because I want to. You are the most important thing in my life. You always were. You always will be…
It's important that you understand that I didn't send you this to make you come back to me. Actually it's the other way around. I want you to read this so you'll know that you can stay there for as long as you need. And still know that I'll be here when you're ready to come back. I want you to read this so you'll know that you're special, and that you're loved. I'm hoping it will give you strength to go on. To find what you're searching for. I want that for you, honey.
I'm getting by. It's not easy but knowing that you love me makes it a little less hard. You don't have to call. You don't have to write. You don't have to do anything. My love for you is as unconditional as it is eternal. So I'll be here…
Please, be safe…
Gil.
She couldn't stop her tears from rolling down her cheeks as she folded the handwritten letter back together and unfolded the other pieces of paper that came with it. The paper was crumbled, but she recognized his handwriting. It was part of a diary…he had kept a diary…
The hotel room was dark and lonely. She pushed herself up against the headboard of the bed, dried her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, and stroked her hand over the pages to straighten them out. Looking at the pages she saw the dates. It started when she arrived in Vegas. Then scattered dates throughout the years. It looked like he had ripped the pages from a book. From his diary, she thought... Then she started reading…
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TBC - It's always nice to hear if anyone cares to read more. So if you do, I'd appreciate a review.