Hello Everyone, I know I haven't submitted much and it's been forever since I updated. I'll be frank. I've been reading fan fictions. The stories here are really good and quite addicting. Currently, I've also been playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for the game cube, as well. Awesome game. I felt like a slacker lately. I've also been experimenting, writing and never posted something yet. I decided to post something now. Tell me if it's any good. Tell me if it's any bad. This is my first Zelda fic and of course it's another opportunity to put my favorite OC through the ringer. It's written to be humorous and the one reason Sora gets to star in this fic is well, just the fact he tends to pick a fight with everything.
Link to Trouble
In which reality takes a nose dive
'The impossible has just happened!' my conscience gasped, 'Oh the horror!'
Murray Monody, my business partner and best friend, just introduced Sora, and I mean the crazy sheltered will-bicker-with-a-dog Sora to the most addictive thing on the planet; video games. Murray's cousin brought the Nintendo Wii for New Year's Day. Murray brought Sora. Despite all the yelling and cheers Sora still couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong when he tried to hook up the wrist holder to the Nun Chucks and proceeded to chew on it.
"How do I play this thing?" Sora demanded, he flailed his arm and stomped his foot. The video game character in the Zelda game, Link or whatever, did the exact same thing except Link tripped over his own two feet. Link fell on his butt.
"Nah Sora look at the video game character," Murray instructed joyfully, I have to admit, seeing Sora stand for at least two minutes to watch Murray's childish lesson in the art of sword swinging was really amusing. "Than you flip this part like this and move like that for the Shield attack and do this and this for SPIN ATTACK!"
"Yatta!" Sora cheered, Murray scurried out of the way to the chuckling of many ongoing party lookers. "That monster is as good as slain!"
Sora wiggled his behind like a kitty spotting a dangly. He rammed the controls into its position shouting incoherent nonsense words. Link drew his blade jumping high in the sky. Link's sword catching a glint of light. He spun in a circle . . . And straight into a lava pit.
"Yay! So did I win? Did I win?" Sora yelled in triumph despite "Link's" screaming, than a thought occurred to him as he looked at the screen, "I wasn't supposed to kill the green guy? Was I?"
"Oh man," Murray gasped, "You just ran yourself off a cliff!"
"Iie I thought I was supposed to kill a monster, he looked just like Sesshomaru with those pointy ears and pretty face." Sora yowled, another thing I forgot to tell him, the manga Inuyasha is not a dictionary for demons. "If I hadn't done what I did than the world of Zelda would be in trouble."
"Nuh-uh!" Murray argued back, "The kingdom of Hyrule would be screwed over by Ganondorf, Sora. Get your lore right?"
"Isn't Ganon-dork a goddess?" Sora piped up. Images of a big burly man wearing a Greek goddess toga left me choking on my coffee.
"Eh-nnnt Wrong!" Murray piped up, "Hey Clarity do you think Ganondorf would've looked good in a toga?"
That's when I decided to stop the conversation before things got buggly.
"Look Murray why don't you ask your cousin, I'm taking Sora out for fresh air." I abruptly stammered, Murray shrugged and wished me luck. Sora just stomped his sandaled feet into the floor.
"I'm not going," Sora childishly hissed.
"Not going where?" I asked, honestly, Sora suddenly looked so much like Naruto when he huffed and plonked himself to the floor but then logic kicks in. This Sora not Naruto. This is the kid that actually picked a fight with my bathroom mirror before I turned the lights on.
"Sora, you can't just go fighting everything!" I snapped, "That's not the way the world works!"
"What about you!" Sora shouted back, anger icing his narrow brown eyes. That black bob of hair bounced with his sudden movement. Sora's energy, and reaction time, nearly tripled since Naruto removed that demon chakra from his system. That's really all I know so far. "You preach about all this experience you have yet do you even act wise? NO! You are actually the most foolish little woman I've ever met! I've met stupid little dogs wiser than-"
SPLASH
The whole party went to a stand still. Some random punch drinker dropping a glass was the only sound in the room. Sora eyes widened at the cold coffee dripping off his chin, down his neck and my little outburst was proving no more effective. I was at least wise enough to remove the controllers and softly toss them to Murray before I lit into the young monk.
"Foolish are the wise and wise are the fools you big badgering brat," I seethed, fists shaking I stood up my full height to look as menacing as possible, I'm a head shorter than Lady Tsunade but tall enough to look a brat in the face, "Before you remove the plank from my eye, how about removing the ten by-"
"Clarity Oy Oy Clarity Sora," Murray shouted, waving his arms in a panic.
"Murray can't you see we're having a polite conversation-" I started but didn't have time to finish.
"You guys need to get out of there now!" Murray quipped but too late.
The room glowed an oppressive golden glow. A three tiered triangle formation encircled by a ring of a fire blinded our eyes with its insipid light. If we knew now what we didn't then we would've known we were standing in the tri-force. Two feet in the triangle for wisdom. Sora's sandal in the power symbol and my other foot half-in and half-out of the symbol for courage. What makes this important event so petty? Well the reason also made the argument quite stupid.
"You called?" spoke someone with a felicitous grin. Three girls sat on a couch eating popcorn and giggling. One of them her orange ponytail bobbing with her uproarious loud chuckles. Her blue haired friend beside her opted for mouth covered giggles, hip length hair waving like a placid lake. Yet the green haired girl on the floor was laughing so hard her hair almost fell out of its bun. Heck I don't think the woman could even breath.
"You're right Nayru they really do look cute as animals," the red head told the blue head. Oh man something told me these beings are eithier all powerful or bipolar.
"You! What are you three staring at!" yelled a badger pointing his heavily bandaged paw though it scared me half to death hearing Sora's mouth barking out of that gaping maw.
"I think they're staring," I gasped, using a couple golden forelegs to clutch my throat, "And Dane when did my voice become so high pitched! I'm only a tenor not a soprano! Ah-woof!" I fell over apparently unlike Badger-brat, I couldn't balance on two hind legs.
Sora was busy focusing on his outstretched furry paw. His narrow brown eyes suddenly white with shock. Good grief he didn't call Tsunade an old hag again but that's exactly what his face looked like. He marveled at his paw in horrid fascination. He willed his mind to bend it. The paw bended . . .
. . . And he screamed bloody mother.
"Hey you," I barked at the girl's lauging, "Yes I'm howling at you! You're eithier omnipotent or bipolar but what the hell did you do to my friend!"
Sora rolled around wrestling with his new nightmare; mangled badger paw. His screams slowly taking on the quality of a warbling beaver.
"We gave you what you asked for." Nayru simply responded.
"Sora danced the "I-got-summoned-by-goddesses-because-I-can't-score-worth-a-darn" dance . . ." remarked the redhead, and if I had opposable thumbs at the moment I'd hit myself with a stick. The psycho-girls had name tags on their togas, namely Nayru, the redhead Din, and their green haired buddy Farore. Each with the name tags further embellished with and I quote . . .
Hello my name is Din and I'm the Fire Goddess of Power
Hello my name is Nayru and I'm the Water Goddess of Wisdom
Hello my name is Farore and I'm the Wind Goddess of Courage
. . . And on a funnier note each label responded with I judge good and evil but I personally don't care.
"Whoa-whoa-whoa you're saying Sora wiggling his rumpus before sacrificing some video game dude to a virtual lava pit actually summoned us here in front of three psycho-bipolar-chicks?" I asked.
"What the heck!" Sora screeched he only heard half the conversation, "I do not. Wiggle. My. Behind. I'm actually very graceful about it!"
"We usually appear as whatever our summoners feel most comfortable with," Farore sighed answering my unanswered question of what the hell was up with them name tags, "Personally I think it's because of your sick sense of humor."
"My sick sense of humor?" I yelled.
"Her sick sense of . . ." Sora growled
"Oh come off it," Din scoffed, "Both of you have a sick sense of humor that's why we appear to you this way."
"That's great and my next New Year's Resolution is to never watch I Love Lucy on Blu-ray ever again." I rebutted since these woman were obviously crazy.
"Are you going to finish that popcorn." Sora asked, everyone turned to look awkwardly at Sora who padded his way over to us. "What? It's not like we've been given anything special unless being turned into fur balls counts as anything."
"Actually it means everything . . ."Din started.
"The score we're talking about isn't a game or an argument," Nayru quipped.
"Or any other scoring you're thinking about." Farore giggled, only the goddess of courage had the courage to be a madman scares me to death.
"You're true form only lies in another's eyes." Nayru recited grabbing the popcorn bowl and foisting it our way. Our argument was playing off the bowl's reflection like a black and white film.
" . . . Stupid Little Dog . . ." Mini-Sora yelled
". . . Big Badgering Brat . . ." Mini-me yelled back
Ick; the horrendously creepy scene made us both pretty guilty to reach into that popcorn bowl but reach in we did. I exchanged looks with Sora, noticing the odd stripe was more silver than white. I know this wasn't what we we're supposed to be thinking but maybe the Bipolar chicks were right? Maybe we did have a sick sense of humor.
What we didn't have was the foreboding sense to notice Din and Farore pushing us head first into a popcorn bowl. A long drop out of the sky. A lot of screaming followed by the rush of upcoming grassland. It wasn't the fall that nearly killed us, it was the abrupt upcoming land that did the crunching.
Meanwhile some dude named Link, yes the prophesized hero folks or actually horseriding Goat herder was riding his mare Epona when a couple blurs crash landed with a crunch. Goats went running for shelter out the corral gates. His co-worker some tall kind of dopey looking tan guy in a tunic with some kind of belt, you know cross between Mediterranean and medival garb except made for European climate, was having a coronary. He grabbed the cattle prod and poked me in the cheek. I was too dazed to notice anything else.
"Heeeeeyyyy Liiiiiiinnnk!" The guy yelled my vision was swimming all I noticed was a kid no older than 18 maybe between my and Sora's age regarding the mess with a pitch fork and wide dusty blue eyes; wheat gold hair was a contrasting touch, "Is it actually alive?"
Sora jumps up, full human self, turns out Psycho-goddesses can be forgiving and glares at a goat whiling snarling, "I don't know what you are but be prepared for the Kamiya I give you!"
WHACK
WHUMP
Apparently this Link doesn't like having his goats threatened either. Poor Sora looked to be bleeding. I barely lifted my head to look given the fact my mind was foggy. Link was still brandishing said pitchfork. I lurched forward onto my knees only to fall winded.
"Hey don't you move," the guy shouted. Really I don't know why but the shouts were making my ear drums ache.
"Fado they could be dangerous!" Link said, his voice deep richly fused with an overprotective nature reserved for small children.
"But Link, look!" Fado exclaimed, he held me up slightly, my broken body was actually bleeding in places I forgot to look, "She's human, she's definitely not a monster."
"How can you tell?"
"I go with what I know," Fado proudly spoke, as Link in a panic dove from Epona's back, "Humans bleed and I know our little sky fallers really need to see a doctor."
"Oh man as if mystery creatures aren't enough," Link worried voice on the edge of panic, "Illiya's going to really scold me for sure. I just hit a kid with a pitchfork."
Author's Note: I don't own Naruto or the Legend of Zelda. The setting I'm using is Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Please pardon the typos and grammar.
Summary: Hyrule Goddesses turn Sora and a disgruntled artist into a couple of fur balls before crash landing them in the Ordona province. Will the Hylians want to kill them or keep them?