Character Sketch #1

This is a preliminary attempt to Sans down as a character outside of the context of others. Not so much happens here in the way of action. This is simply making a guess as how Sans might behave when no one is watching (or, for all we know, close to no one).

"Papyrus, are ya here?" Sans was calling from the front door as he shuffled into the house. He winced a little, stretched his arms out above his head and yawned. No response. "Well, guess we're home alone," he drawled.

Sans lumbered up the staircase with his hands still in his coat pockets. He halted at the top step. "Uhhhhhh, so when do we gotta be back again?" He pulled his phone out of his left pocket with his left hand. He slightly pulled the mitten off his right hand so only his bony pointer finger stuck out. He swiped the smart phone screen with one slow, broad stroke, entered the passcode and opened the calendar app.

"Hmmm, imagine how much trouble we'd be in without this beeping out where to go every five minutes?" He paused. "Wait a minute!" Sans's face did the seemingly impossible and changed from a slight grin entirely made out of solid bone to a slightly bigger one. "Pun of the day…Chemical jokes are boron; however, physics jokes have potential." He giggled a little. "Oh man. That's too good."

Sans turned the phone off, put his mitten back on and put his hands back in his pockets. Sans's right slipper, dirty from extensive use, was tearing at the seams and the phalange of his pinkie toe was sticking out ever so slightly. Sans headed toward his door, fumbling in his right pocket. His face reverted back to its usual slight grin as he took out a complex keychain. He unlocked the door, entered and took care to quickly lock it again behind him.

He turned to face his room. "Oh damn. Right." Sans noticed "clean" laundry all over his bed that had gotten wrinkly. He hurriedly threw these and some dingy sheets that hadn't been washed on the floor in a corner next to the lamp. Next, he retrieved his pillow from on the ground and placed it on the bed on the end closest to the door.

He flopped on the bed. "Ok, ok. Two hours to rest and then I need to be back in Hotland." He was lying on his back. His face was still twisted into its usual stiff smile. His "eyes," two bright white dots in the darkness of his eye sockets, were staring directly at the wall. Sans lay in such a manner that it was difficult to tell he was even a living being. Though he was talking to himself, it was difficult to tell he was even talking. When he spoke, not a single part of his body moved. The only evidence he was alive was his eyes, and even those sharp specks were infinitely still. Whatever they were staring at, those eyes didn't blink nor look away.

He began talking to himself again, "so, what are we doing?"

"Uhhh, taking a break?"

"You know what I mean."

"Can we drop the subject?"

"Well, I'd love to. Truly. But is that even possible?"

"Heh, good point. "

"Yeah, good point," he trailed off.

He lifted his head slightly and looked out the window. On the left were tops of a few pine trees that grew on the side of the house, the rest was just the vague, impenetrable darkness in the vast cavern of the underground.

He began again, "You know what your problem is?"

"You mean ʿproblems areʾ. I mean, after all, we're talking to ourselves. But go on. This should be good."

He paused. "Ah, damn. Why do I ask myself questions I can't even answer out loud?"

"Well, there you go. Problem number two. Progress."

"Wow, Sans. Didn't know ya had it in ya to solve your problems by yourself. Truly, if we'd known, we'd be so far along by now." Sans put his right hand, still wearing a mitten, over his face. He paused again; he closed his eyes.

"When is this over?" He stopped as if waiting for someone to answer.

"My problem is that I can't just shut up and forget it."

He opened his eyes and put his hand down at his side. He began again, louder this time, "You enjoying this sans? You having a great time doing this? Isn't it just helping ya out so much to keep doing this bullshit? Scaring your brother like this? You know how much he looks to you. You know how much he needs you to be there to take care of him and reassure him."

He stopped for a second. "You know, you could be sleeping right now and not babbling to yourself like a freak. So, you know what? I'm going to sleep with what little time we have left."

He closed his eyes again. He tried to will himself into quietude.

Eventually, his cell phone alarm went off. He flung himself out of bed. He stepped forward and disappeared. In an infinitely small space of time, Sans entered and passed through an utterly unknown void and left as quickly as he entered. He carried through to his other step and he was at his post at Hotland.