Akatsuki rehab (lame ass title, un)
Lately I've been reading a lot of Naruto scans and have completely fallen in love with the Akatsuki (mostly Dei and Hidan though hehe) It really sucks though cause all my favorite characters fall prey to dying somewhere in the series (maybe I should make Sakura a favourite, hehe) I'm seriously bummed now cause both Hidan and Dei have died, un (sniff sniff). So using the forbidden Technique of Orochimaru-sama I've decided to bring all the bad and good people who died back to life and place the baddies in rehab for evilness. As lame as my stories are I hope this will get some readers.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, un. If I did it'd be super yaoiness and I'd have Hinata as my maid and be Hidan's Jashin-sama, so I don't obviously don't own, un.
Story Starto!
"Unnn, what happened, un?" Deidara moaned as he rubbed his kawaai butt and looked up at his surroundings. "Lord Jashin I'm alive!" Hidan eeped in a ukish way as he awoke; the rest of the people there looking at him strangely. "Wtf un, weren't we dead, un?" Deidara sighed as he saw Hidan doing the whole bow over and pray to Jashin thing right in front of him. Around him was a dimly lit room with cold stone walls and fours, and no artwork what so ever, it was basically dark and empty. Out of the corner of his normal eye the blonde saw a dark shape come towards him, the shape soon came into focus and its features came into view. The strange object was a person with short, shiny blue-black hair, a girl with a large bust; Hidan's attention focussed immediately on her. "Whoa, Lord Jashin is faithful!" 'Ok, are we in heaven or something? The Jashin bible said it'd be different than this but hell I ain't complaining!' The girl had stepped out into the light, now fully visible; she was short and pale, with her glossy blue black hair swept across the one side of her face, her deep green eyes heavily framed by eyeliner. She wore a tight black t-shirt, which showed off her huge bosom shamelessly, with the words 'I'm so emo I cut you.' written across it in deep crimson lettering. Her black jeans were just as tight and hang low on her hips.
"Hello peoples," she said winking playfully at Hidan, who was grinning wildly. "I'm Maki-chan, jonin class ninja and authoress of the 'heaven' series, not that you'd know what that is..." She blushed and looked down at her feet, for the plot one of her books just happened to be lying right next to Tobi, who picked it up and started reading a passage from it- "Yuki pushed the head of his penis into the opening of the younger boy's tender asshole, groaning as it throbbed even harder upon entrance. Shuichi wined, not bothering about the pain, just simply wishing for his void to be filled. In one quick, easy moment Eiri pushed the remainder of his member into Shindou's tight, warm ass. Shuichi howled as he torn, sinking his teeth into his lip to ease some of the pain, his cock spilled sweet precome. The blonde boy did not yet move inside of him, he was still waiting for Shuichi to get used to the stinging; his hand wrapped around the slender boy's damp cock, his thumb rubbing up and down his length."
Maki-chan blushed deeply, "Tobi please stop...." She brushed even more of her ebony locks in front of her face to hide her embarrassment. "Oh I read that one, un. I thought your name sounded failure, un...I would never have guessed such a innocent looking girl such as you could write something as heavy as that, whoa, un." By now the girl was bright, fire truck red; she poked her fingers together nervously. "That is so fucking hot! Makes me wanna dive in Deidara right now to show you how fucking much I love your kinky self!" Maki sprang into life and grinned happily, signaling for Hidan to seme the smaller blonde. "Whoa, un, whatta about danna!? Where's my danna?!" Deidara eeped in a sinfully ukish way, Maki's nose gushing blood as the silver haired sex God pounced poor arty boy.
Danna, or Sasori as the others know him, was staring in awe at his human, non-puppet body, pinching himself and gasping at what pain felt like. "Hehe after you're finished with Jashin boy over there, you can try your new improved danna on for size." Maki's eye's flickered with fangirl evilness, reveling in joy as Hidan butt-raped Deidara for the entire world to see. "Are you enjoying this Maki-chan? Watch me fuck bomb boy to within an inch of his life!" Dei couldn't do much about it, Maki-chan was the Goddess of yaoi and they were her chosen shipping, all he could do was moan in pleasure and embarrassment as Hidan rammed him, ashamed about the fact that being watched got him off.
When Sasori did happen to look in that direction, he was shocked by the intensity of emotions flooding though him as he watched someone else take his Deidara. What was this heat rushing through him, along with something he could only imagine as pain? Seeing Deidara's beautiful face so twisted with feeling and redness, made something within him bubble up. He'd seen his blonde explosive expert like this before, with him, but never understood why Dei's body would do such strange things and why he made those strange sounds. Now he was beginning to understand and share those feelings, just by watching Dei. He liked it, but at the same time loathed it, that bastard Hidan with that smirk on his face making Dei do something only Sasori was meant to do!
Maki screeched, alarming everyone in the room with her, she was shaking and white from the massive blood loss she encountered. The screech just made it all the more embarrassing for Dei, right when that bastard Hidan made him explode was when Maki eeped out. When he was finished Hidan got up and ran to catch the fainting fangirl. "S-shit, that was...wow..." The others sweat dropped, what was meant to be a simple introduction was drawn out into a long boring mass of drivel by Maki▓s yaoi obsession.
"That was strange..." One half of Zetsu sorta uncomfortably broke the silence in the dark room, "Wtf are you talking about? That was fucking hot! I want a piece of Dei's ass!" The other half interrupted and the sctizo arguments began! "I'm next!" Zetsu fought with himself to try get to the panting blonde, his other half against it completely. Tobi was still buried in one of Maki's perverse books. "Deidara-sempai, what's a prostate glad?" The blonde sweat dropped, still trying to recover from Hidan's dominates. "S-sasori-danna-"Sasori blinked, and for the first time since what seemed like forever a hot flush of colour came across his face. "Ag, don't just sit there blushing, un." The former puppet man blinked, he was too busy taking in the intoxicating beauty of the worn out blonde to listen to what he was saying.
Then he remembered, Hidan was the reason his blonde looked like that! A massive feeling bubbled up in Sasori's chest, his body responded naturally, he clenched his teeth and shot Hidan the fiercest look he could. Considering his doll-like looks it was pretty darn scary, Hidan actually shivered, his faith in Jashin quivering in that moment. "Oh don't be such a goddam pussy Hidan!" Kakuzu exclaimed in annoyance, causing Hidan jolt slightly. "At least my fucking dick doesn't fall off in the middle of sex, you money fucking bitch!" Silence befell the room as the Jashinist revealed something they'd never wanted to know about his stitched up lover.
"It's fucking true, Jashin dammit! I've even got a video of it fuckwads!" Maki's eyes were sparkly, undoubtingly imagining the images in her mind; her nose began to bleed to further prove her perverseness. "I sold that, got a bunch for it too"■ Kakuzu stated with a satisfied smile, Hidan gaped in fury, "What the fuck possessed you to sell our fucking porn dude?! Did you even stop to think that your stitch dick may now have been revealed to the whole fucking Jashin dammed fuck world?! FUCK!" Kakuzu held his ears, he didn't even bother listening to his partner's rants, it was the same every damn time. "Who'd buy that shit anyway?" Kisame shook his head, Maki-chan reddened. "Thank fucking Jashin you bought it! I'd fucking mass sacrifice if some random shithead bought it, fuck anyone but you." Maki blushed, "Well it had you in it, hehe."
Oh great, the rest of the Akatsuki thought, they'd been revived and were now in the debt of some crazy, yaoi obsessed Hidan super fangirl, they'd much be better off dead. "That's so fucking hot; a slamming fine chick actually watched that video, oh fuck yeah Jashin!" What Hidan didn't know was that that the 'slamming fine chick', had other stopped paying attention to him, and was now focused on something much more 'fruitful' than him (just for the moment hun :p) "Konan's your name right?" She asked, her eyes directly fixed on other female's bosom, a glint of doom flashed in her eyes. "Y-yes." Maki grinned, a grin akin to that of a school boy standing behind a one-way mirror watching a bevy of busty girls undressing, Konan reacted by smiling nervously; knowing how much she owed this girl, Pein just stared on hopelessly. Konan was much taller than the hostess, who took full advantage of that fact, pretending to lose focus she fell forward and embedded her face into Konan's bosom.
"Aw fuck you could learn a thing or two from this chick, Pein!" The flame haired leader sweatdroped as Hidan high fived the ecchi author, "Oh great, she's perverted in more than one way..." Deidara sighed as he crawled towards his Danna. "Hehe, now the ever cliche' sleeping arrangements and house rules," she pulled herself out of the taller girl's bust, and grinned and the flabbergasted group of former criminals. "Yeah you can all pretty much guess that you'll be living with me now since I was kind enough to resurrect you all..." she paused for a moment to clear her throat, "so yeah you guys will be sleeping with your partners, literally; although I'll have to let Tobi and Zetsu share to be nice to Dei cause I favor him above you all..." The blonde hmphed, somehow, regarding how he'd been treated today, he doubted her severely.
"There are rules though, like 3 only; one you're not allowed to kill or do anything illegal like blow up stuff," Dei and Hidan sighed, "Worship Jashin by beating up people on Mortal Kombat, k? Two, um please don't make fun of my religion or I'll throw out there to Maito Gai, and you don't want that..." Kisame shivered, while Hidan wondered if he'd found another Jashinist. "You're gonna have to do community service to make up for screwing up everyone's lives, I think that's fair, ummm, and possibly group therapy or something lame and cliche' like it."
"Konan can come into to my room and sleep there if she likes," Maki smiled and the blue haired beauty blushed, Pein suddenly felt more emo than he had ever before in his life and that was hectically emo. "I guess I'd better give you guys a tour of the castle, you're allowed to free roam pretty much everywhere except where I say you can't."
End of chapter, please review guys I need a confidence boast more than any thing right now (as usual, Jashin I'm emo ) Feel free to offer any ideas for their community service and stuff, since I'm a crappy writer with only a few ideas so far. Look forward to more Deidara ukeness and more revived dead peoples, I hope you guys like this chapter XD