Title: Letters to you, Dear Tsuna
Author/Artist: ZiaLiaLis
Rating: T
Warnings: OOC Kyouko, semi-crack
Prompt: III - 11. Tsuna/Kyoko - the truth; "You make me bleed every time."
Word count: 2000+
Summary: Kyouko has had it; and she has more than enough to say in a letter for Tsuna.
Dear Tsuna,
-Letters to you-
Kyoko stared at the blank piece of paper before her- save for the 'dear Tsuna' written in neat, cursive, bold and pressed-on-paper-too-hard.
She clenched the pen in her fist tightly, nearly breaking it in the process.
The once peaceful aura of the room was slowly being taken over by one of evil, of darkness. Kyoko's smile turned sinister, very unlike her usual self. Closing her eyes in an attempt to calm herself, she once again repeated what Haru had said only hours before in her mind.
"You should try writing a letter. They don't have to be sent, just written. It helps get a lot of things off your back."
The reason Haru had said that? Well, Kyoko had pretty much all but snapped after Gokudera came into the mansion with muddy shoes and a lit cigarette telling her in a rude voice that Tsuna wouldn't be back home tonight. Kyoko, having just cleaned the room, prepared a romantic dinner, deal with a bunch of noisy kids, put up with a whole morning of shoving her head (and whatever food that had entered her mouth) into the toilet bowl, paid for mansion reparations and a whole bunch of other things which would have made any sane person dealing with the same things everyday scream their lungs, gouge their heart and pull their hair out, naturally did the one thing people would do to keep themselves sane.
Kill.
Well, maybe not kill. Attempt to kill.
But as a mafia boss' wife, she definitely could throw a temper. Heck, it was worse than a temper.
After finishing with the initial aim-for-Gokudera's-head, she pretty much went ballistic around the whole mansion.
Needless to say, the staffs (and Gokudera) were traumatised.
Thankfully, Haru was there to calm her down before Kyoko could try burning the mansion down. She offered to take care of the damage and allow Kyoko to rest for a moment.
So now here she was in her study, all alone, with her favourite aroma therapy scented candles lit.
So here she was, staring at the piece of paper blankly.
Kyoko did not know what to write.
And she was pretty sure the moment she started, she would have wasted all the paper in the mansion and needed more.
Nevertheless, she thought of how to start.
Nice and friendly? Or harsh and demanding?
Well, it's not like she'll ever give this letter to Tsuna anyway.
Here goes nothing.
Dear Tsuna,
You must be wondering why I'm writing this letter which will probably never reach you. Well, I just have to say some very extremely important things to you. Some of these points have made me think twice about staying. Everything in here is the truth. The truth which can never be told to you without causing you to be distracted and endangered. And that can be fatal since you're a mafia boss and all.
Firstly, you should know that I love you a lot. More than you'll ever believe. But I can't be so sure that you love me back. I mean, I know you love me… but do you love me as much as I love you? I know this sounds selfish but we haven't met in… what, one and a half months? Where have you been? And today is our one year anniversary! Can't you even write me a letter? NO! You just had to send that hooligan of a smoker with his muddy shoes when I have just cleaned the house thoroughly for our freaking anniversary!
Ahem. Well, I do appreciate the gifts you send me though. But it's not going to make me any more patient than I already am. I'm at my limit Tsu-kun. I'm still human. I want some quality time with each other. I want to see you. Even just for a glimpse.
The next thing I need to talk to you about: please do control your guardians. They have destroyed over 90% of the Vongola Mansion (only the mansion, we haven't even gotten to the other areas yet) in only two weeks. I'm not surprised if by the end of this month the Vongola is bankrupt because of renovating fees. I don't think it should even be called renovating fees. It should be called rebuilding-from-scratch fees. Yes, that's how bad the damage is. The only safe area is the north wing, the place where staff are strictly not allowed to visit unless in dire emergency. It's also where our room and study is. It's also where I hide. I know the Vongola has an abundant amount of money but it gives me a headache taking care of the finances.
Lambo. I know you can't do much about him but he's 15 for goodness sake! He shouldn't be this immature! Even you were more mature back then. So get Reborn-kun to train him or something. I know that will help. It did wonders for you after all.
On to more serious things, my heart always hurts when I think of you. You and the whole mafia business. You and always leaving me and all those things you do to make me hurt so much inside that I think my heart is literally bleeding. Yet I could never leave you. I'm addicted to your touch, your voice, your love.
Finally, I'd like to tell you that I'm preg•
BOOM!
Kyoko sat up straight, startled. The ink splattered the paper slightly as she recoiled back in shock from the explosion.
She would have thought it was just another one of the guardians having come to visit if not for the rush of footsteps and frantic shouts. Usually, if it were one of the guardians, Haru or one of her personal maids with special access to her study would come and alert her.
"Kyoko-sama!"
Kyoko's attention snapped up to the door, hands already reaching in her drawer for the emergency gun she kept.
A young staff member rushed in, holding a rifle, blood splattered all over his clothes.
"Please get out of here! The mansion is under attacked!"
Kyoko's eyes hardened.
"What do you mean get out of here? I'm fighting. No one invades my home. No one," She snapped.
Ripping her dress to make it shorter, she slipped two guns into her thigh holsters.
Making her way out of her study, she marched her way through all the explosions and gun shots, the staff member all the while following nervously behind her and shooting anything that moved.
"Haru. What's happening?"
Haru shot a glance back to her friend, curiosity flashing through her eyes briefly before shaking her head.
"They're planning to destroy the Vongola HQ. That's why Tsuna couldn't come."
Kyoko twitched. The anger which she had just managed to contain and calm down burst out in all its fury.
"Ah… So they're the reason why."
A graceful smile adorned her lips and she would have seemed angelic if not for the increasingly dark aura surrounding her.
Taking her guns out, hormones got the better of her as she screamed, "FUCK YOU ALL DEAD BITCHES!"
She fired her guns randomly.
"WOAH! Hey, watch where you're aiming woman!"
Pausing for a moment, she turned to glare at Gokudera.
"You. Think. I. Give. A. Damn."
Gokudera shrunk under her glare.
And she went back to shooting aimlessly, none of her bullets reaching their targets but enough to make the enemy squirm and jump around anyway.
"RETREAT! VONGOLA DECIMO HAS ARRIVED!"
The shouts were chorused throughout the whole mansion as the enemies slowly vanished but not before one of them shot a bullet at Kyoko's shoulder.
Kyoko winced and held her arm shoulder gingerly, feeling the blood pulse through the wound.
She felt a warm pair of hands settle on her shoulders, a pair of hands on fire.
"Tsu-kun!"
A large smile beamed on her lips, only to falter when she saw the look Tsuna gave her.
"Tsu… kun…?"
His eyes widened into a familiar chocolate brown as the flame on his forehead fizzed out.
"I'm so sorry Kyouko! If only I was here then- "
"You're such a worry wart Tsu-kun! I'm fine; it's just a little scratch."
She smiled as the blood continued pouring out.
…
Kyoko sat on her bed, shoulder still wrapped in bandages.
On her lap was a piece of paper and a pen, beside her a sleeping Tsuna.
Lately, Tsuna hasn't ever been letting her out of his sight. He even brought her to his meetings!
"Tsuna… do you think I'm going to leave you? Because of what had happened last month?" She whispered.
Sure, it had been the first time she was involved directly in a fight between the mafia. Sure, she had been injured. Sure, her house was destroyed. Sure, she nearly had a miscarriage.
But she didn't care. She was the one who chose this kind of life. She was the one who chose to defend her home. She was the one who chose to fight.
It wasn't his fault.
A soft knock sounded at the door. It was Haru and Gokudera, standing there with a tray of what smelled like herbal soup.
Haru skipped in, each step as light as a feather. Tsuna stirred, but didn't wake up.
Gokudera hung back at the doorway, watching Kyoko nervously.
Kyoko shot him a smile, at which he flinched.
"What's wrong with him?" She whisper asked Haru.
"Oh, him? Haru thinks he's just a little jumpy after what happened last month."
"Aaah."
Kyoko nodded her head. She shot him a tentative smile again, at which Gokudera returned – though it was forced and looked in between a scream and a grimace.
She saw Gokudera's hands reach for his back pocket, where she knew he kept his cigars.
She shot him a warning look.
Gokudera paled visibly, hands freezing in mid air.
He put his hands down quietly.
"Come in Gokudera."
"U- uhm, No Thank you Kyoko-sama!" He muttered.
"I insist." Kyoko's tone took a sharp edge.
Gokudera was now fidgeting with his hands, playing with the hem of his shirt.
He shuffled a few centimetres forward and almost knocked over a bottle of ink.
Kyoko's eyes widened as she watched the bottle fall before being caught by a pair of delicate yet rough hands.
She heaved a sigh of relief and looked at her still sleeping husband before settling a sharp warning look.
Gokudera squeaked and murmured a hasty goodbye before pretty much dashing away from Kyoko.
Haru stifled a laugh and joked, "I better make sure he didn't pee his pants or anything."
Kyoko gave her a wide grin and waved a little before watching her best friend's retreating figure.
She looked at the soup on her bedside and took a sip.
Yuck.
Turning back to the papers in front of her as she gingerly forced herself to sip the soup, she made up her resolve to tear the previous letter apart.
Flinching at the pain as she moved her arm, she ripped up the letter she had written to Tsuna a little over a month ago.
Sighing, she leaned her head back on the bed's backboard, soup completely forgotten.
Her mind wandered around freely, from the new life inside her, to the times Tsuna had left her.
Each time Tsuna touched her, each time he came back wounded, each time he spoke to her, each time he caused her pain, each time he made her happy. All the responsibilities she had, all the stress.
The first time he had told her about the mafia, by the river bank. The first time he told her the whole truth. The truth. The first time he made her bleed.
And the next times, the time when he bled. She bled too.
The times when he didn't, she still bled from some incurable wound.
Yet for some reason, she was kind of addicted to that bleeding.
Because that bleeding was a reminder to herself.
A reminder of the world, of reality, of her love for Tsuna.
Picking up the pen, she wrote a new letter.
Dear Tsuna,
I love you. I really do. But you should know that with this mafia business, I can go crazy - which is pretty much the reason why Gokudera is frightened of me now. Even then, with this letter, I'm hoping to let you know that no matter what, I will never leave you. Even if I have to sacrifice this baby inside of me to the cruel life of a Mafioso, I will never leave you. Even if I have to sacrifice my own life, I would never dare to even think about leaving you.
Even if the truth is… you make me bleed each and every time.