Unfair

Summary: Percy contemplates people's dues

Percy kept thinking about death. He didn't really comprehend why but it was understandable right? Since he could die the very next day and all. And since he, Frank and Hazel were on a mission to save Thanatos. He'd always wondered what would become of him considering the memories of his good deeds have been wiped from his mind, stolen by a crazy goddess. Now that he'd fully recovered his memories, all the great times and the terrifying ones, he thought death would finally flee from his mind.

He was wrong.

He was contemplating death more than ever.

He tried to fall asleep—not that he really wanted too, he didn't want anymore dreams—but his brain kept wandering to the topic of death.

How did they judge where the people go? Did they take the person's life and hardships into account? Could a single decision tip the scales?

Of course it could, from what Percy recalled, Luke Castellan died a hero. He didn't feel jealousy anymore, a good thing too because it would be a tad juvenile to be jealous of a dead person, all he felt for the late Son of Hermes was regret and sorrow for his death. Even though he got into Elysium in the end, that he assumed, Luke's life had been terribly unfair.

Percy furrowed his brow. Fair? He thought, slowly savoring that single word, what was the definition of Fair?

The more Percy lingered on the idea, the more memories came back to him. Sure his memories had been fully returned to him thanks to the Gorgon's blood (no thanks to a certain nasty Queen of Olympus), but it was mostly in small flashes at a time. Now, it seemed like floodgates opened in his mind, and memories crashed down upon him.

As a child, Percy always thought life was unfair to his mother, Sally Jackson. She had found the love of her life, only to lose him and left saddled with a child that had so many problems like ADHD and dyslexia. Then, after all that, she ended up with Smelly Gabe, the worse person to ever walk the planet, instead of the Prince Charming she so obviously deserved.

His mother was a sweet, kind and loving lady though all her life it seemed as she was blocked by hurdle after hurdle. Percy knew his mother loved him a lot, she had too to put up with he constantly having to shift schools and his ever-going fights with her so-called husband. Still, Percy somewhat always felt inadequate. He was a burden wasn't he?

Why couldn't his mother have had a better life?

Obviously now his mother had found a smidgen of happiness, Gabe was gone and she had Paul now, but Percy wished she never had to suffer any hardship. She deserved better. Percy hoped that she wasn't too worried about him.

Yet another thing that life was unfair for his mother. Just as she had thought her only son was finally safe (though never completely, he was a demigod after all and his mother wasn't a fool), he had been snatched away and she had been left to moan the lost. At least now she knew he was still alive; although she was probably still frantic with worry because she knew he was on another quest. Quests were dangerous, no one was guaranteed safety. But this was better than the previous times, Percy reassured himself. Paul would help her through it.

Now when he'd discovered he was a demigod, he never felt sorry for himself. He was glad, borderline ecstatic, even! He'd finally found a place where he belonged.

Then he had been declared the Son of Poseidon and started going on adventures every year. He would have appreciated a little peace but he wasn't complaining. What he really worried about were his friends. He found it so unfair that his friends, Annabeth and Grover were always put at a risk. He found it so unfair that people like Zoe Nightshade died. They deserved better than to be pulled into all his deadly quests even though they say they were more than happy to help.

Percy believed it was terribly unfair and he felt equally guilty sometimes.

At times, it would just hit him and he would just keep thinking, I could have saved them, I could have saved them, I could have saved them. He never could, of course. The situations then were too dangerous, too risky.

After the battle it was worse. So many casualties. So many faces that he would never see around camp again. Being a demigod was basically a sentence to tragedy but Percy still believed they deserved more.

Contemplating the ones who had done wrong were the worst by far. Silena Beauregard, Luke Castellan, Ethan Nakamura, Nico di Angelo etcera. They had all done wrong but in the end, wasn't it just due to the unfair circumstances of their lives?

Silena who was threatened, Luke who felt neglected, Ethan who wanted recognition, Nico sentenced to a hard life just because he was a Son of Hades. Percy hadn't liked some of them very much before he looked closely at their lives; he had judged them too quickly.

In the end, didn't they all come through?

The ones who died would be sent to Elysium certainly, for the sacrifices they made after realizing they were wrong.

But Percy wanted them to have closure in their lives. Sure, they would have a happy ending but wasn't it still unfair, all the hardships the Fates put them through?

And what about those people who regretted, but never had the chance to show it before they died? What would be of them?

Percy didn't know but it was unfair nonetheless.

Percy had thought everything would be fine after the prophecy about him was complete, that perhaps he and Annabeth could ride off into the sunset. But no, the Prophecy of Seven had to be fulfilled just a year later.

Percy knew what it was like to be a subject in a prophecy and it was horrid. People expected so much from you or they try to make you into their pawn just so they could try to control the prophecy. And now his newly found friends (during the quest they had grown close, they were practically another family to Percy now), were almost definitely a part of the prophecy.

It wasn't fair. Percy foresaw lots of suffering ahead. No, no though. He had to think positive. A lot was riding on this victory. They would survive and soon, Percy would be reunited with Annabeth.

Then, realization struck Percy like a lightning bolt. All this while, as he had been thinking about how unfair other people's lives were, he had never once thought of his own as unfair. Percy vaguely wondered why.

Why hadn't all the problems thrown at him affected him like Luke and the rest? Why had they become bitter but he hadn't? Was it just his returning memory changing his perception? Or was it more?

Percy was slowly drifting asleep now, being philosophical was tiring and he should really leave it to Annabeth.

His final thought before falling into deep slumber was Perhaps life is just as fair as we perceive it to be…