Midnight Musings

Disclaimer: I do not own PR, this is simply for my pleasure; if I owned them this probably would've actually happened… oh well I can wish.

Summary: A late night encounter makes Tommy think of someone he's trying to forget.

Author's note: I dedicate this to my Julifer, whom is my half-muse and I simply couldn't do without. You rock my socks honey and are my best beta ever! If you don't like the pairing please don't flame, just be mature and keep an open mind. This was suppose to be a oneshot (ahem, Julifer, feeding my plot bunnies!) but is now a two-parter as it ran away from me ever-so-slightly. I'll post the concluding part as soon as I can.

Tommy flipped his pen away from him as he slumped back in his chair. This essay was really starting to get to him. Every time he thought he had something to say he would write about a paragraph and then get stumped again. It wasn't that he didn't know what he was talking about, he could recite the ages and interlinked biological stages of the dinosaurs in his sleep, he just couldn't seem to write it down for this essay. Which only made up 20 of his marks, it wasn't like it was important or anything.

Sighing he leant back over his chair, tipping his head back and squeezing his eyes shut. He just couldn't think, that was all; no concentration. He'd be better off trying again in the morning, after a good night's sleep and some coffee. Deciding this was the best option he packed away his things and started to head out the library. As he walked swiftly away from the table, and his nagging thoughts that he really should just get the work done and stop making excuses – he didn't need another late mark that was for sure – he bumped into someone, sending their books and papers flying over the floor.

"I'm sorry." Tommy said as he automatically bent down to help pick up the mess he'd caused.

"No, it was my fault," replied a guy who was about three years younger than Tommy, who looked oddly out of place and nervous in the big library. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

Tommy chuckled "You're a first year aren't you?"

"Was I that obvious?" the guy replied.

"No, but you might want to avoid bumping into people. It helps, trust me."

"Okay." The guy grinned as he rearranged his dropped work.

Tommy grinned as well as he looked down at what he was picking up. The guy must've been an art student as he had newspaper and magazine clippings galore, some cut out from their pages and some with their articles still attached. As he sifted through them, trying to pick them up in neat piles, one picture with its article caught his eye.

"Australian Beauty picks up Lead." Was the headline and Tommy's heart stopped when he recognized the woman in the photograph beside it. Katherine Hillard had – if it was possible – become even more beautiful than the last time he saw her. But since that had been almost four years ago it didn't surprise him that she still looked amazing.

Tommy hadn't realized he'd been staring at the photo until the guy spoke up from next to him.

"Yeah she's a real eye-catcher isn't she?"

"Hm – what?"

"The girl in the photo," the guy said casually and Tommy felt a flash of anger at the fact that he didn't even know her name "She's one hell of a woman, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah." Tommy said non-commitedly, his feelings of dislike towards the guy intensifying.

"I'm doing this piece on modern day traditions," he continued "And these people are all professional athletes or dancers who are bringing old-fashioned traditional sports back into the modern era; her especially. She's to be the star of the new Beauty and the Beast ballet stage show in London and you have no idea how much interest there's been in it since they signed her up. It's incredible really, last year they had to cancel it because there wasn't enough interest and they had some really big ballet names in it, and now, because of one girl, it's the biggest thing anyone can talk about."

"You seem to know a lot about it." Tommy said as he stood, still keeping the picture of Kat in his hand.

"Well, when I found that picture it kinda hooked me," the guy said sheepishly as he also stood. "I was just, intrigued is the best word I guess. I wanted to know more about her so I read up on her online. She's an Australian by birth, but has lived here in the States for a bit, and now resides in London where she's just graduated from the Royal Academy of Dance. Quite a feat considering it normally takes five years and she's done it in about three and a half. All the critics absolutely love her, saying she's some sort of ballet prodigy, the best of her generation. They say you can't watch her dancing without taking your eyes off of her."

"No, you never could." Tommy said softly staring intently at the picture where Kat was half-smiling and poised to do a pirouette.

The guy didn't seem to hear Tommy and just kept rambling on "They had quite a time auditioning for the role of Beast, I can tell you. Normally it's a hated role because of the costume you have to wear whilst dancing but nobody seemed to mind this year. And looking at her, can you blame them?"

Tommy thrust the piece of paper back to the guy and started walking off slowly, saying "I guess not." Over his shoulder as he went, and trying desperately not to think of all the guys that would be throwing themselves at Kat. It made him want to hit something.

"Thanks for the help." The guy called as he walked off in the opposite direction from Tommy.

Taking deep breaths and unballing his fists, Tommy walked quickly outside, glad for the distraction when the harsh night wind whipped him in the face. It was already dark and cold so Tommy knew it must be at least ten o'clock so his plan of getting a long, good night's sleep was out the window. He had to be up at five to get to the dig site for six. Anton Mercer had taken a chance with him by hiring an undergraduate and Tommy didn't want to disappoint him. He wasn't going to be late for this.

Walking along the path to his dorms a vibration suddenly hit the pocket of his jeans, where his phone was on silent due to his hours in the library. Tommy really didn't want to talk to anybody right now so he hoped it was just a text, but when the phone kept vibrating he groaned and dug it out of his pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey man!" a very loud voice yelled into Tommy's ear "Where 'bouts are you?"

"Walking back to the dorm, why?"

"Me and a couple of others are heading out to the town so you'll be just in time to join us if you want." Said the loud voice of Tommy's roommate, Larry "Interested?"

"No man, I can't. I've got to be up early for the dig tomorrow. Sorry."

"No probs, no probs!" called Larry's over energetic voice "Next time then huh? I'll wake you up when I get in, that way you won't be late, okay?"

Tommy laughed at that "See you in the morning then."

"Bye party pooper."

Tommy laughed again as he shut off his phone. Larry was a good guy, loud and over-endearing but always with his heart in the right place. It reminded Tommy of Rocky, sometimes a little too much. But he did know how to throw one hell of a party.

Tommy turned off of the main path and onto the smaller one that led to his dorm building and sighed as his thoughts returned to Katherine. He hadn't seen her in practically four years, since she'd left for London. They'd tried to keep in touch but Tommy was so forgetful and her timetable was so hectic that even now they only managed birthday and Christmas cards with a rough 'round-up' of what they'd been doing recently. Tommy hated that he wasn't close to her anymore; she had been one of his closest and dearest friends. As well as something a hell of a lot more when he'd finally gotten his act together and seen how truly amazing she was. A long distance relationship between them just wouldn't have worked however, and they had both known that. And her not going was out of the question, it was something she had dreamed about since when was a little girl, she had worked so hard for it. But that didn't mean Tommy didn't regret her going, or rather regretted not going with her.

He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the outer door to his dorm building, mentally telling himself not to go down that road again. It wasn't that he was unhappy here, he loved what he was learning about, had great friends and brilliant life opportunities, such as the dig job. He just felt like his life wasn't complete, and the last time he'd felt like that, like he had everything he ever wanted or needed, was when he was with her. It wasn't even when he was a ranger, but the few months afterwards that Tommy had spent with her, Adam and Tanya before they all went their separate ways; although it was only Kat who was really going anywhere. Adam had gone to work part-time at the stunt show whilst attending Angel Grove University. Tanya had gotten a music apprenticeship at a small but popular radio station just outside of Stone Canyon. Tommy had been encouraged by his uncle to keep up his racing but even then he'd known it was just a phase, a phase and the reason he'd used as an excuse to not follow Kat to London.

Mounting the stairs to his first storey dorm room he still couldn't remember why he'd thought that a chance at professional racing, which although he'd loved, hadn't appealed to him as a life-long career, had stopped him from going to London and pursuing the one thing that made his life truly happy. His mind just couldn't seem to form an answer to that.

Sighing as he opened the door to what he now called home, he tried to shut his mind down. To stop the inevitable landslide of memories and emotions that were about to assault him, even though he knew it was useless. Dropping his bag over the couch and onto the floor (if he put it on there one of his roommate's friends would end up sleeping – or worse – on it), he headed to the fridge and the hopeful oblivion that the helpful beer he pulled from it would offer him. Tommy hardly ever drank himself into a wasted stupor but if he didn't tonight he'd end up getting terribly self-depressed and that wasn't an appealing option.

Tommy had an unfortunate habit in falling for women hard, and then finding it even harder to get over them. It had taken him the better part of a year to get over Kim and he was still trying to get over Kat now. Although strangely enough they seemed to be the only ones it applied to, as all the other women he'd dated hadn't managed to get past the third date. Not that he'd dated tons of women, but enough for him to know that he'd only ever been in love with two. He always tried to convince himself that they were his past, that they'd helped him grow and were part of who he was today but were nothing more. Needless to say, he always failed.

Kim was now one of his dearest and closest friends, who he talked to at least once a week and who was his expert on all things girls and dating. Some might find that weird, that two ex's helped each other with their new love lives, but it just fit with them. After they had sorted everything out between them, the letter was chief amongst that but there were other things, their friendship had truly begun. The others had found it a little strange at first but realized very quickly that it was just natural for all of them. The group had stayed in touch – and close - through all the years, with the only exception being Kat as her hectic schedule didn't really let her do anything. Aisha sent emails from Africa and came to visit for special occasions, and Billy had returned from Aquitar nearly two years ago, saying that he missed Earth, and them, too much. Tommy and the others had always suspected that a nasty breakup might have also been the reason but so far the resident genius wasn't saying anything. And since he was living with Kim if he had said anything they all would've known in a very short space of time.

Tossing back half the bottle in a few gulps Tommy wondered if Billy had this problem as well. Of not being able to forget and move on, but not being able to do anything about it either. A part of Tommy scoffed at the last part of his thoughts, as all he had to do was hop on a plane and cross the Atlantic whereas Billy couldn't exactly book a ticket over the internet to cross the galaxy. Downing the rest of the bottle, Tommy once again found himself thinking whether he'd actually be able to ever do it. He'd thought a thousand times of just getting on a plane and going to see her, to just turn up, surprise her. But there were so many things that kept him from doing it. At first it had been that he didn't want to let his uncle down. Then when he'd quit racing it was because he was getting ready to start university; then because he didn't want to leave in the middle of the school year. And then all of a sudden, two years had passed and he couldn't just turn up out of the blue. Kim had said he'd been avoiding the issue, that he'd been making excuses so he could run away and hide from his feelings. He'd told her that she'd been watching too many soaps and gossiping too much with her celebrity friends, but he hadn't answered her really and he knew now that that was because he knew she was telling the truth. He'd been running, and now he couldn't sop; he just had to live with his regret.

Getting another beer, Tommy again downed half of it straight away. Why the hell had one picture affected him so much? He was stronger than this. He didn't feel sorry for himself or mope around, he lived his life It was the duty he had after giving up the power, to go out and live a different kind of adventure. And here he was shirking, by not confronting what he was really feeling, by not doing anything about it. Swallowing the rest of his beer, he dropped the bottle into the bin and headed for his bedside cabinet, where there was a locked box full of memories. If someone did happen to unlock it, all they'd immediately find would be pictures and other mementos such as letters and cinema ticket studs. But if they looked closer they might find the hidden compartment where there were pictures of a younger Tommy in a power ranger suit, with an assortment of companions, all also wearing colored superhero suits. This box was Tommy's sanctuary when things got too tough and he had nobody he could contact. It was his own personal security, it showed him how he'd become the man he was, how his friends would always be there for him. And how much he loved Katherine Hillard.

Pulling out the black box, he unlocked it using the key that was attached to his wallet, before propping it open on his bed. The top layer had pictures of them from civilian events. Where they'd been just normal teens. He searched through the pile before finding the particular ones he was unconsciously looking for. There were roughly ten of them, held together by a paper clip. It was of Kat's goodbye meal, which everyone had attended. The whole group had tried to make the evening as special as possible, and the night had ended very specially for Tommy. The pictures were of the group as a whole, and then smaller group shots; the girls, the boys, the different teams, the couples. Grinning Tommy raised a particular favorite of his, it was of him, Kat, Adam and Tanya. The picture had been taken by Trini who had turned out to have quite a knack for photography. Adam was sitting on a chair, smiling upwards at Tanya as she stood over him, her arms wrapped around his neck whilst Tommy sat next to his friend, his arms wrapped around Kat who he'd just pulled into his lap. Both of the girls were laughing and Tommy and Adam were sporting some of the biggest smiles they'd ever had in their lives. Picking up the next picture he smiled sadly at what he'd had. It was a close up of him and Kat in that position, again taken by Trini. He was grinning his head off, with his lips milimetres away from Kat's bare neck as she had tipped her head away from him at his previous comment. Her hair was spilling off to one side and she was smiling shyly, her eyes locked with his. Tommy didn't know what he'd give to be back in that moment, to have Kat in his arms and their whole lives ahead of them, together. To be able to show her how much he loved her again, to feel her against him like he did in his dreams…

Shaking his head, Tommy dumped the pictures back in the box and slammed the lid shut. He didn't know why he kept doing this to himself, why he thought he could change his life by going over the past; that his memories would somehow make his dreams come to life.

Putting the box carefully back into his cupboard, Tommy then kicked off his shoes and lay back on his bed, knowing that his dreams would once again comprise of just one person. If his real life didn't suck so much he might have truly enjoyed them. Instead they just made him realize what he was missing out on, and how much he desperately wanted it. So go to London, see her, a voice in the back of his head said, daring to give him hope that one day he might actually do it. But he wouldn't. It wasn't that he lacked courage, he just didn't want to have to see her with somebody else, knowing that he'd missed his chance; knowing that she could've been his – and only his - forever. No, it was better this way; they both had lives to lead. He wasn't going to go to London and that was final.

The next thing Tommy knew he was being shook awake by his roommate, who hardly looked worse for wear even though he'd been out drinking all night.

Not registering the mumbles that Larry seemed to think constituted speech Tommy got up and pushed his friend towards the door, which in about thirty seconds he'd be running through in the direction of the toilet. It was a routine they'd gotten into and it suited them both (if Larry didn't get a head start he never made it to the bathroom and would spend all day with a hangover cleaning up what he'd brought up in the hallways) but this time Tommy had to actually get up, instead of just climbing back into bed. But he was determined not to be late for Anton so up he got. This was his chance at getting the career he'd been working towards and he wasn't about to mess that up.

It was also another step in the direction away from Kat. His dreams had consisted of memories and fantasies of her last night and it just depressed Tommy thinking about it so he pushed all thoughts connected to her to the back of his mind. This was his new life now and he was going to make it work and not get any more regrets, starting with not being late…

Little did Tommy know the events that were about to happen were all conspiring against him.

Tell me what you think? Go on, review!