A/N: When Gemma is hiding, and Clay is still in Charming. Kay showed me the song, and it is just so GC I couldn't resist.
I'm so currently ignoring season four. Because I'd like to ignore the holes in my ship.
There is suggested phone sex in this, though nothing graphic.
Disclaimer: The song is Theory of a Deadman; I clearly do not own the characters.
You are not alone tonight
Imagine me there by your side
It's so hard to be here so far away from you
I'm counting the days till
I'm finally done
The motel room was small, cramped, and Gemma felt like she was suffocating. She missed Clay so much it hurt; her husband was miles away, and all she wanted to do was be with him.
It had already been three weeks, and she didn't know how much longer she would take this distance between them. She'd barely found him again after the rape; why did they have to be apart now?
Gemma looked out the window, at the grassy parking lot and the sparse trees, her heart aching in her chest. Her thumb traced her scar gently, feeling the smooth surface of the scar under the pad of her finger. She took a deep breath, needing a cigarette.
She walked over to her purse and dug through it for a moment, pulling out the pack of Marlboros and her lighter, moving back to the window. She cracked it slightly before lighting up, sticking the cigarette in her mouth and the lighter in her pocket, taking a deep drag and holding the smoke in her lungs for a moment before breathing it out into the night air.
Tig was sleeping in the other room, and Gemma leaned her head against the cool window pain, closing her eyes. She loved Tig, she did, but he wasn't Clay- he wasn't her husband. And damn, she missed her husband.
She debated grabbing her cell and calling him, just to hear his voice, but she didn't want to wake him, or interrupt any Club business he might be involved in. She took another drag from her cigarette, enjoying the burn in her lungs.
She didn't know how much longer they'd be separated, but she was counting down the days until she'd get to see him again. Until this was over, and she was back him.
Until she was back with Clay.
I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one
It feels like forever till I return to you
But it helps me on those lonely nights
It's that one thing that keeps me alive
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
The picture frame in her hands was small, nothing much, but Gemma pulled it out occasionally just to see Clay's face smiling again; to remind herself that this wouldn't last forever. Her pointer finger traced her husband's lips, her own lips curling up into a slight smile.
She just missed him, so much.
The lonely nights, like tonight, when Tig and the boys were out, roaming the streets, were the hardest. She pulled the flannel shirt closer around herself, the soft fabric brushing over her skin. The shirt had been her husband's once upon a time, but she'd stolen it years ago, enjoying the feel of the material. Clay hadn't objected; he seemed to like it when she wore his clothing.
She bit her lip, sighing quietly.
She knew this was necessary, unless she wanted to go to jail without visitation rights, but she hated it. Stahl was only going after her because she couldn't own up to her own mess; her dislike for the auburn-haired bitch continued to grow.
The only thing keeping her going- keeping her alive- was the knowledge that Clay was waiting for her.
No one else knows the feeling inside
We hang up the phone without saying goodnight
Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home
It's never been easy to say
But it's easier when I've gone away
She pressed the phone harder to her ear, biting her lip as she listened to her husband's voice. She gasped, letting out a breath, trying desperately to keep quiet. The sheets rustled with her movements, a soft whimper leaving her lips as she clutched the phone closer.
"C'mon baby," Clay urged gently, his voice directly in her ear. A few moments later Gemma relaxed against the sheets, her breathing slowly regulating.
"I miss you, baby," she whispered a few moments later, the room filling with silence. "I wish you were here."
"I wish I was there too baby," he replied quietly, making her heart ache. "Ain't the same here without you."
"You been surviving?" she asked, her meaning clear. He chuckled softly, and she could picture him shaking his head.
"My hand ain't nearly as soft as yours," he replied, and she smirked, rolling her eyes.
"I'll fix that for you soon baby," she teased, though the amusement dimmed from her eyes as she realized she didn't if she could fix that soon. She didn't even know when she was going to see her husband again. "How much longer 'til I can see you Clay?"
"Couple more weeks Gem," Clay replied, his voice rough. There was a dull thudding sound in the background, and Gemma could picture her husband's fist hitting the table in front of him. "I gotta go baby."
"I love you," she said, voice catching slightly in her throat. Her husband repeated the sentiment roughly before hanging up, neither of them saying goodnight.
Because if they didn't acknowledge that they were going to bed without each other, it didn't hurt so much.
Knowing that you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
it's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me
Gemma received bits and pieces of information from the boys about Clay and Jax, but never enough to satisfy her. It killed her that she wasn't with her boys, but at least she knew they were safe. She missed her grandson; she just wanted to hold her baby boy.
Time seemed to move so slowly at the motel, and she felt trapped, isolated from her life.
"Tig," Gemma called, waiting for him to stick his head into the room. When his curly mop of dark hair appeared she put her book down, interlocking her fingers under her chin. "Any way you can get me outta this hell hole for a bit?"
"Sorry Gem, but this is keepin' you safe," he replied, leaning against the doorframe. "You need something?"
"My husband," Gemma snapped, before softening, placing her fingers to her temples. "I didn't mean to snap Tig."
"You miss him. I get it Gem," Tig replied, shaking his head. "Couple more weeks. Then you'll see him again. He misses you too, you know."
Gemma nodded absently, digging through her bag for her cigarettes. Pulling one out and lighting it, she let the smoke fill her lungs, distracting herself.
Clay was waiting for her. That was all that mattered.
What I'd give
What I'd do
Knowing I'm not there for you
Makes it so hard to leave
What I'd give
What I'd do
Anything to get me home to you
And this time I'll stay
"How're the hands baby?" she asked the next time he called, as she was curled up in bed, missing him desperately. She missed the way his hands felt on her skin, the way his kiss tasted, the feel of his breath on her skin.
She heard him grimace through the phone, and she sighed, closing her eyes.
"Are you doing your shots?" she tried, but still received silence. "Baby…"
"I keep forgettin'," he said quietly, and Gemma bit her lip, her heart hurting for him all over again.
Why wasn't she home with him? Why was he so far away from her?
Her whole body ached, and she knew she needed to get back to him, as soon as possible. It was too hard to be away from him for this long.
She was going home, and this time she was staying.
And you wait for me
Ever so patiently
Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and
It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me
"Gem, the boys are here."
Gemma looked up from her dad at Tig's words, a smile crossing her face.
"C'mon Dad," she said, helping him to his feet. She left her dad in the kitchen and walked through the front door, her face breaking out into a smile when she saw her husband, relief blooming in her chest. "Goddamn I missed you."
"I missed you too baby. So much," Clay replied, pulling her into his arms and kissing her deeply, making up for lost time.
"Thanks for waiting for me baby," Gemma whispered when they pulled apart, looking up into his deep blue eyes.
"Always," he whispered back, pressing his forehead to hers. "I'll always wait for you."
"I love you."