Hermoine's POV
I am no princess. I am not some sappy little girl who dresses up in costume and runs around pretending the world is made up of unicorns and magic... Well, my world IS made made up of magic and magical creatures, but that is beside the point.
Admittedly I would be lying if I said I didn't want to be swept away by a man who loves me. Fully, completely, and always. The shocking part of it all is that my "prince" is one of the most unexpected people imaginable.
Draco. Slytherin ice-prince Draco Malfoy to be precise.
And I love him. Despite the snark, the endless arguments, and the way he spends longer on his hair in the morning than me... I love him.
It all started at the beginning of my 6th year at Hogwarts. I had escaped the boys for a while and was down hiding behind my favorite willow tree (and not the one that "whomps") to read and relax for a while.
As an introvert, it can be somewhat challenging to be a Gryffindor... For all of our bravery and honor, we tend to be somewhat loud and intruding. I desperately needed a break.
I settled down with some tea and a blanket and pulled out one of my favorite novels from my beaded hand-bag, Frankenstein, when all of a sudden I heard a rustling behind me. I discretely glanced around and saw no one so I went back to my analysis of the monster. I read for a few more moments, inwardly comparing the work to the ancient Greek story of Prometheus when I heard a slight cough from behind me, obviously trying to attract me attention.
It sounded distinctly nervous. I frowned, couldn't my friends leave me be for just a few moments of peace? Obviously not, not "know-it-all" Granger who has the solution to the world's problems.
Honestly, if I did then Harry would not be fighting an insane Dark Lord and my parents would not be obliviated and living in Australia... It had been a trying year.
I turned around moodily, prepared to demand what was the matter now, and there was the blonde git, Malfoy, standing there with all his snooty pureblood glory, staring at me, the nicknamed "mud-" ugh. I can't even think it. He had joined the Order last spring, but none of us trusted him. Well... Not much. I felt a little guilty, with his dad locked away Malfoy had become more sullen and hardened. Quieter, less childlike. The war had hardened us all I suppose. Innocence is not meant to last under these conditions.
What does he want? Probably to say something rude about my choice of muggle reading material. I inwardly scoffed and stood up to look at him, waiting for the inevitable insult when I witnessed something I never thought someone like Malfoy was capable of.
A blush. The red was spreading from his cheekbones all the was down his pale, somewhat drawn face and down his neck, and he coughed again. I couldn't imagine what I had done to make the ferret turn such a cute color, but I wished I could do it again.
Wait... Did I really just think that?! NO! No, no, no, no, I will not think of Malfoy in such a way! No matter how appealing he looks in his dark grey coat and jeans with his wind swept hair and...
"Are those... Converse?" I asked suddenly, groaning inside when I heard how high-pitched and squeaky my voice sounded. Honestly, why should I care if Malfoy prefers muggle shoes. He probably wears them just to piss of his Death-eater father... Not that his family could see him of course, I inwardly winced at my cruel inner commentary.
"Ugh- yeah... I mean yes! Yes, they are." He said quickly, staring at said-shoes in a bashful fashion. I tilted my head while I studied him. Where was the self assured and rude young man I had come to know? Where were the insults, the hexes, the 'my father will hear about this' statements? I knew he had changed but with was a complete one-eighty. He glanced up at my thoughtful expression with a slight frown. The sight of his familiar emotions jarred a normal reaction out of me.
"What Malfoy? Come to insult me about my intelligence? My friends? My muggle parents?" I sighed heavily, dropping my shoulders as if I felt the weight of the world on them. Some days I did. "Please, just say your piece and let me get back to my book" I finished quietly, bracing myself for the insults and feeling more downcast and less confident. I didn't want to fight, not anymore, not with a school rival. It seemed so petty now in the grand scheme of our lives. We were coming to the catalyst of the war and fighting with the likes of Malfoy was not high on my list of important people.
"I-I came down here to tell you that... Well. I came to ask what you are reading" he finished just as quietly and defeated as I had and I felt a rare moment of familiarity with this blonde pureblood. With his father imprisoned and his mother with Voldemort, he was as much alone in the world as I was at that moment with my parents gone. I shook my head slowly as if not able to believe it.
"Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" I asked slowly, as if speaking to a small child, "she is a Muggle author from the mid- 17th century" I finished lamely, looking at him steadily now as I handed him the book, almost as a peace offering. He took it, and while he did, out hands touched briefly before I pulled back. He read the synopsis on the back of the novel and a slight smile touched his lips, so small and brief that I would have missed it had I not been watching for his expression.
I was bewildered, where was the Draco Malfoy I had known?
"It looks very interesting... Perhaps one day I can read it." He said to my with a straight expression- almost as if he believed what he was saying.
But no. That has to be impossible. Someone like Malfoy reading a muggle's work?
"You must think it odd that I am talking to you" he said as I inwardly nodded my head but looked on with a bemused expression. He went on, "I simply wanted to let you know that I plan to fight along with you and the others in the war against You-Know-Who" he said as I nodded my head. I already knew he had joined the light. He had the day his father was led to Azkaban. And even though he had joined our 'cause' didn't mean that he befriended us. He simply ignored us, like he always had. But apparently not anymore.
"Malfoy, just because you are on our side does not make us friends" I said at last, shaking my head as if trying to convince myself of the fact as well, "not even close...You have tormented us for years and yes we have given back in kind" I admitted when he looked ready to interject, "but that doesn't take away that you have called me some of the most vile" I took a deep breathe, calming myself, "names imaginable. Why are you here, talking to me? The bushy haired Mudblood?" I spat venomously. What was he doing? He was seriously confusing me as well as messing with the status-quo.
He stared at me with a blank expression he was probably taught was suitable for the Heir of Lord Malfoy, but his eyes showed his sadness.
"I wished to apologize to you. I have been cruel over the years, and there is no excuse except that I wanted approval from my parents- father especially" he admitted reluctantly as I leaned back against my willow stunned. Malfoy was talking to me, genuinely talking! I listened with a keen ear, trying to understand why. "I know you may never see me as anything but a slimy Slytherin but I wish to be... Alliances with you at the very least." He concluded, holding out his hand boldly as he stared deep into my eyes, as if looking for some sign of forgiveness there. I don't understand why he would care about such a thing, but he did, and I was nothing if not endlessly compassionate. Even to those who probably didn't deserve it from me.
I shook his hand without saying a word and he held onto mine tightly. I felt a jolt when his hand touched mine and goosebumbs ran up my arm. I left a pleasant burn behind as I quickly took my hand away and held it to my chest. When I touched him he felt warm and strong and... Safe. Like I was at home with my mom or a strong cup of chamomile tea or a hug from my best friends.
Goodness, I am delusional! I looked at him for a while longer. Maybe Malfoy will prove to be more interesting then my tragic hero, the monster. He glanced back up to the castle and I realized it was nearly lunch time. He must want to go meet up with the snakes. I don't blame him, I just prefer to be on my own for right now.
"Well Malfoy, I guess we all have something to learn about each other" I said as a dismissal, and he saw his exit and bowed his head slowly as he handed me back my book before turning and walking back to the castle from which he came.
I felt a pull in my chest to follow him, damn compassion.
I settled down leaning into my willow tree and began to read again, although my thoughts were turned more towards a certain 'reformed' Slytherin rather than a doctor playing God.
Everyday for the next week Malfoy would come down to my tree, sit next to me and read or do his homework.
Honestly! I come here to be alone, but apparently the ferret had other plans. He comes down after dinner every night and sits with me in almost complete silence until the sun begins to set and then he offers to walk me back to the castle. Each day I decline and he bows slightly before walking back to the castle as if it was a usually occurrence for him to be sitting under a tree with me, Hermione Granger. Towards the middle of the week he began to question me on small, trivial things about myself. Almost as if he really cared to know. I obliged him, it didn't hurt me to be nice after all, right?
I just hope this slight openness with the 'enemy' didn't cost me something later.
On Wednesday, half-way through our quiet study time he looked up at me until I met his gaze and he asked randomly, "what is your middle name?"
I stared back for a moment before answering, "my middle name is Jean and my confirmation name is Cecilia" I told him in a slow, incredulous voice before looking back down to my novel. I felt his eyes still trained on me so I signed heavily and looked back up, "yes?"
"What is a confirmation name?" He asked in such a genuine tone I decided to answer another question. What could it hurt?
"I belong to the Catholic Church, and when someone reaches the age of adulthood in the church they are confirmed and take charge of their own spiritual guidance in the church that was previously controlled by their parents or guardians" I answered swiftly in my classroom matter-of-fact tone. "The adult then picks out a name of a saint that they think represents them and it is a part of their christian name. Mine in Cecilia, as I said. In the Church we make vows to what we believe to be true, similar to marriage vows really" I rambled on, realizing I was going on for too long but not caring. Malfoy listened intently, gazing at me with an interest no one else ever had. "It is a celebration of the Holy Spirit inside you, there to guide you and give you the gifts of patience, love, humility and such in order to live a good christian life..."
I trailed off, "sorry for the long explanation... I just get so caught up sometimes in the workings and meaning of religion" I admitted sheepishly, looking down and flushing slightly, realizing I had just talked about some personal beliefs with a boy who had been disgusted by me for the past five years.
Draco shocked my again, however, by completely ignoring my apology in favor of asking another question: "Who was Cecelia... The saint that represents you, what did she stand for? Reading... Or perhaps she was the saint of know-it-all's?" He joked softly and I could only stare at him, only half believing it was Draco Malfoy who was teasing me so tenderly. I decided to humor him, I could not remember the last time I had had an intelligent conversation with someone my own age, let alone a boy. A cute boy...
NO! Not letting my mind go there! It isn't like he is the first boy to talk to my outside 'dweedle dee' and 'dweedle dumb' (Harry and Ron), but Viktor wasn't exactly an intellectual.
"No she doesn't represent reading, you blonde git. Her story is quite sad actually. She was a young noble woman who was promised at birth to marry a man named Valerian in Rome about 19 centuries ago. Many years later, on her wedding night, she told him that she wished to remain... Well, pure in the eyes of God. She told her husband that she had promised her..." I blushed but kept talking, avoiding Malfoy's penetrating gaze "virginity. An angel was protecting it... She loved music above all else, and I believe she would sing with the angels about God and the people she preached to. She was a fighter, strong and resilient. When she was captured by Romans and sentenced to death, but it took quite a while and different methods to actually kill her. She is the patron saint of music and musicians, which is the main reason why I chose her" I finished, looking at Malfoy and seeing confusion and wonder in his normally guarded eyes. He was becoming almost an open book to me.
I am scared to admit I enjoy it.
"So... That is enough for today I think, I am tired... Goodnight Malfoy" I said as I picked up my bag and began the uphill trek up to the castle. I felt Malfoy's gaze on me as I walked away and I shivered at the realization that Malfoy was giving me his undivided attention. something I never received with my Gryffindor classmates. And I was relishing in it. Malfoy and I were being... Well not quite friendly, but sociable and amicable. It was a shock.
The next day, much like the last, Malfoy looked at me and gave me his full attention before asking, "do you believe in God?"
I stared at him a while, trying to formulate a response for my jumbled thoughts and emotions on the topic to give his a succinct but honest answer. I always wanted to be honest with him. It felt like too often I was expected to lie, either to myself or others.
I hated it.
"I do... I believe something created us with a moral compass and for a purpose in life. I don't know if I believe in an all loving God, especially with the war going on, but I believe in the goodness of people. I see God in them. I see God in Harry, and Ron, and all my friends and family." I said with conviction. I truly believed all of that. I may not understand God or have the strongest faith all the time, but I believe in the inherent goodness in people.
Draco looked shocked for a minute before looking back at him with sad eyes, "I wish I could believe as freely in the goodness of others like you... I don't know if I could ever truly believe in God, let alone a good one" he said simply and looked away. I almost gasped with my shock but held it together, that goodness. Malfoy just opened up... to me! Hermione Granger! The world really is turning upside down.
"Well... It isn't easy" I said honestly, "but my parents always told me to look at the good in others and try to see things from their point of view..." I trailed off, finding it difficult to explain something like my faith to Malfoy. He just nodded his head and went back to reading his Herbology notes. We sat in silence, both contemplating about life and faith. I couldn't believe that I was having deep discussions with Malfoy of all people but I was glad to talk to someone who... seemed to care.
Ugh, I am so naive. Obviously he could never care for me! Draco is known for his womanizing around the school, and I am not his type of girl... Plain, wild curls and a short frame with an average body. Draco went for tall, flirtatious, and skinny like Pansy Parkinson or Susan Bones. He must be drowning in boredom to turn to me for company.
But I wished.
Suddenly I heard a small tune around us and I realized that while I had been lost in my inner thoughts I had begun humming! I turned bright red and glanced up at Malfoy, hoping beyond hopes that he hadn't heard anything.
He had.
"Is that why Cecelia is your saint?" He said, and I was shocked that he even remembered our conversation yesterday let alone my confirmation name but I suppose I gave him too little credit. He is ranked second academically for the five years we have been at Hogwarts.
Behind me, or course, I thought with a self-satisfied smirk to myself.
"Because you like to sing... Is that right?" He asked, leaning closer to me so I could see the light dusting of freckles across his nose and the small dimple on his right cheek when he gave me a half smirk... As if he had figured me out.
He had... But that was not the point. I blushed when I realized I was gawking at him and his damn attractiveness and I cleared my throat before saying, "yes, I love music... Maybe even more than reading." I said, more to myself than Malfoy but he sat back as if stung and stared at me like he had never seen me before.
It isn't like he knew anything about me really! I don't know why it is so shocking... I mean, yes, music is passionate and idealistic and for dreamers... But I could be that as well as a practical student.
"Well, Ms. Granger" he said in a teasing mock-professor voice and I giggled before I realized, "you are a conundrum. Tell me, do scar-head and the weasel know about your proclivities towards music?" He asked, half serious by that point.
"Well-I.. No, not really. I never seemed important to let them know. I help them with homework and make sure we don't die when we get into trouble and do research for the war. There is no time for hobbies." I finished sadly, wishing my boys knew how much music meant to me but also realizing they wouldn't appreciate it.
"So I know something about you that even your sidekicks don't... It is an honor" Malfoy told me genuinely, and I gaped at him.
"Why? Why do you want to know anything about me?" I asked once I had composed myself.
"Because you are a beautiful mystery... And I want to prove myself to you." He said simply while he packed up his materials and bid me goodnight similarly to the way he had all week. I went back to my reading with a puzzled expression on my face.
It wasn't until dusk had fallen over me that I realized Malfoy had called me beautiful.
Malfoy and I continued this way for the next two months until it became too cold to sit outside beneath our willow tree anymore.
Our willow tree. Still such an odd thought.
He asked me all sorts of questions, and I answered them as honestly as I could, even the ones that made me blush. He would be so forward at times, and I wasn't use to male company beyond my two best friends who were more like brothers than anything else.
"Do you like American food?" He asked in late September.
"Yes... Specifically hamburgers" I answered, remembering my trip to NYC with my parents before First year.
"Can you play any instruments?" He asked one day when we overheard Hagrid playing the bagpipes... Badly.
"The piano," I said with a smile. When he asked if I could play for him sometime, I coyly answered, "perhaps if you're good."
"What is your favorite novel?" He asked one day after joking that I must have a library hidden in my beaded bag.
"The Phantom of the Opera" I said sadly, and when he asked about the story I told him, "it is a heart-breaking story about a genius man who loves a Chorus girl in the French Opera and wants to make her a star... so he comes to her as an Angel of Music and trains her to become an Opera Diva..." I said and Draco-Mafloy- decided it sounded happy to him so I continued on, "but he is ugly, disfigured, and she cannot love him because of it and she refuses to marry him and leaves him for her childhood sweetheart" I explained, my heart breaking for poor Erik, the Phantom. Draco shook his head, mumbling about "Gryffindor compassion" and "sappiness" until I punched his arm, laughing.
"Who was your first crush?" He asked one day while we were eating treacle tart he had snagged from the kitchens.
"Umm... Promise not to tease?" I said with a blush, I couldn't believe I was going to tell him this! But I wanted to get to know him, right? I looked at him, with his face full of treacle tart and a bit caught on his lower lip that I wanted to kiss off. I blushed more, normally I wasn't so brazen!
"My first crush was Lockhart" I mumbled quietly, hoping he would miss it.
No such luck, he let out a booming laugh that was probably heard all the way from here to London.
"The obliviated DADA professor from our second year?" He laughed and I stood up, affronted and somewhat hurt. What is wrong with that? I was young and he was so kind to me in class... Even though we had to clean up the pixies and he tried to obliviate my best friends.
"I was twelve for Christ sake! It was innocent! You can be such a bloody bully Malfoy!" I stated harshly and started to walk away. Suddenly an hand was holding me back and I turned around to see a regretful Draco Malfoy looking at me with pleading eyes.
"I am sorry, I promised not to tease..." He laughed then, "but you are so easy to provoke. Please, call me Draco, I am sorry Hermione" and I sat down with a huff, still somewhat cross but not much. He gave me the rest of the dessert so I forgave him.
My feelings for him were growing. It became harder and harder to ignore the attraction I felt from him. Ever since that first handshake I felt the pull to go up to him, tilt up my face and put my lips on his...
Why is my life so complicated? How could I tell him? I couldn't, it would be to embarrassing. Especially since I had never even been kissed.
"Why did you befriend Potter?" He asked mid November as we walked along the Great Lake. We had stopped the pretense of getting any work done around each other and began simply meeting up after dinner to talk until curfew or I said I had work to complete for the next day. He didn't ask the question with any maliciousness, so I thought a moment before I answered honestly.
"Well, there was this troll in 1st year on Halloween" and I proceeded to tell the heroic rescue by the two boys. By the end, Draco was laughing madly.
"Wait, so you took the blame for it all? Do you Gryffindor's have any sense of self-preservation?" Draco asked, and I laughed at his incredulous expression.
"Of course we do, but loyalty is more important. And that is how the three of us became inseparable" I said with a sigh, thinking back on all the adventures, and trials, and laughs I had shared with Harry and Ron, "and back to your question about Harry."
"Harry is a good person. I know you wouldn't agree" I said as Draco scoffed in agreement, "but he has known no love in his life. He has been handed the fate of the wizarding world on his shoulders, and they have not been kind to him." I said sadly as I remembered the papers cruel headlines about Harry and Dumbledore during Fourth year. "Harry deserves peace, and love, and I want to help him as much as I can because he is a brother to me." I finished tenderly, looking out over the water and watched the Giant Squid jump out of the water to catch the mere-people.
"Yes, but he has caused you to sacrifice your parents and your peace" Draco said vehemently, "you should not suffer for him!" He exclaimed passionately... I just shook my head at him.
Somedays I really believed he cared for me as more than a friend.
"Someone has to be there for him, someone has to" I said simply, because it was a fact of life I had come to understand. Harry had no parents or true family to speak of, if I can be his friend and love him then I will. Malfoy asked if I pitied him but I said, "it is not out of pity, but out of genuine love for him." I finished, looking down again and wishing Draco could understand.
"I see" he said softly, "so you are in love with the Golden-Boy."
I shot him a look of disgust before crying, "NO! He is like my little brother, my best friend, but... Just eeww" I finished, looking somewhat ill at what Draco had said.
"Ah... Good" He said with a bright smile that I had only seen a handful of times, and I was struck once again by his beauty. Chiseled cheekbones, pale perfect complexion with a button nose and cute dimple. Then I realized what he had said and stared at him incredulously.
"Why do you care if I think of Harry romantically, Malfoy?" I asked and watched his face fall back into an expressionless mask that I loathed.
"Please, call me Draco" he said, avoiding the question and my eyes narrowed in indignation. But I conceded, my mind had been betraying my wish to call him that for sometime anyways.
"Fine, Draco" I said slowly, testing it on my lips before saying, "why is it 'good' I don't like Harry romantically? You aren't planning to hurt him right?" I said quickly, nervous about what Draco might do to him. He may tolerate, even care for me now, but there was no love lost between him and Harry.
To my surprise, he blushed, his entire face turning a bright pink and he twiddled his thumbs in a manner that told me he was nervous. He turned away from me and turned his head to the side so I would only see one pink cheek: "because" he said, "I... I have romantic feelings" he spat the word as if disgusted at it, "for you, Hermione. And I don't want to compete with the Golden Boy or his red-headed sidekick" he finished vehemently, angrily, and stomped away from me, leaving me standing in shock.
Draco. Has feelings for me? Hermione Granger? No. No, no way. He could never care about a muggleborn, a know-it-all. Such a plain jane, he could have any girl at his beck and call, any pureblood witch would be honored to date such a significant political ally. Why me?
But he had called me beautiful, and spent the last two months sitting and talking to me. Was he interested all that time? I don't think so.
Oh, but how I wanted to believe him.
"Draco, wait!" I yelled, but he was already halfway up the hill to the castle.
Draco... I cared about him. I had feelings for him.
Oh God help me.
The next day I sat in the Great Hall after dinner, staring forlornly at the Slytherin table and one Slytherin in particular. He hadn't even looked at me once today, and I knew I had to confront him, to tell him I had feelings for him as well.
Only how?
Suddenly Ronald, who had been talking about the Chudley Canons with Harry looked at me with a strange expression, "why are you looking at Malfoy, 'Mione?" He asked suspiciously with his mouth full of mash potatoes and I sighed.
I hated lying to them. I had told them I was spending after dinner hours studying, which was somewhat true, but I hadn't told them about my... Alliance with the blonde git.
Or my feelings toward him.
"I wasn't looking, honestly Ronald, all that pumpkin juice is going to your head. Excuse me boys, I'll see you tonight in the common room. Harry remember to finish your charms essay, my notes are sitting on your bed in the dormitory." I said as I stood up and quickly walked away from my best friends with a knot in my stomach. I could feel the boys eyes on me as I walked away but I stayed strong.
What was I suppose to do? I couldn't tell them, they wouldn't understand. Or worse, they would hate me.
Right before I left the hall I looked over at the Slytherin table and my brown eyes met silver. I nodded my head towards the door and he nodded and got up from his table, making his excuses to his friends. He probably said he needed to do some homework in the library.
Our deceit bothered me greatly but I didn't want to stop seeing him. He made me feel important, like I was so worth talking to and spending time with. The feeling girls dream about having and never get. Also he made me feel pretty, and I wanted to kiss him and run my fingers through his fine blonde hair and press my body against his...
Uhhh... Always getting carried away. I saw him approaching me and I left to go outside, the late November wind in Scotland biting at my skin as I wrapped my cloak tighter around myself to keep warm.
Suddenly a hand was around my arm, pulling me into a small alcove in the courtyard, away from prying eyes. I gulped.
Even though we had spent the last two and a half-months together alone this felt different. Intimate. I started breathing harder and stared at his strong chest, longing to reach out and touch it, kiss it... I had never given much thought to anything sexual, almost believing I was asexual at a time, but now I see how foolish it was. I was attracted to Draco in a way I had never been. We fit, we made sense. It was right.
"I-I just wanted to tell you" I gasped as he leaned even closer, bringing his hand underneath my chin and lifting it. Draco was leaning in closer, his grey eyes shining as he invaded my personal space, not that I minded, "that I like you as well... I mean as more than friends." I finished and gulped in air as I stared into those beautiful silver eyes.
They reminded me of a predator.
"You do?" He said, searching my face as if to find out my lie and I shook my head and bit my lip- a nervous habit and tried to move back but I hit a wall and he followed me so I was essentially trapped. I gasped for air as he tilted his head down... Close... Close...
And then his lips touched mine and I sighed, closing my eyes as I felt that spark of electricity run through me as he kissed me with all the fervor I read about in my favorite romance novels. It was so tender and soft, but passionate and wild. I felt rebellious, like I had never lived before, he made me feel so alive and open and free. He nibbled at my bottom lip and ran his tongue against the seam of my mouth the part it, which I did with a sigh and a gasp of "Draco!"
He smiled wryly into the kiss and broke away, gasping for air and searching my face for signs of distress, "Hermione," was all he said and I gazed at him with a tender look close to... Well adoration. My mind was swimming with the implications of what had just occurred. He kissed...me!
"Th-that was the best first ki-" I broke off, my eyes widening as I realized what I had given away. Oh no, now he knows how inexperienced I am and he will come to his senses and not want me! Honestly, what 16 year old girl has never been kissed! I am not like his other girls, I am not flirtatious and promiscuous. I am shy about my body and I'm... Hermione.
I like to study, read.. learn! I never had time in primary school for boys let alone when I was introduced to the wizarding world!
I felt vulnerable. It had been so long since I had felt so non-confident and unsure of myself. I tried to pull my arm from his grasp but he held on with one hand and lifted my face once again to meet his above me. He looked flushed and beautiful and his eyes were excited and amused all at once. I wanted to kiss him again but waited for the scathing remark about my lack of sex appeal.
God, now he will assume that I am a virgin too. I mean, I am, but still! Could this get any worse! I wanted to bury my head in my hands and cry... Never had I felt more out of my element. I normally knew everything, and I knew biologically all about sex but I had never trusted anyone to kiss me let alone anything else. And I could never read those 'bodice rippers' that the sixth year girls in my dorm all favored, they were always too graphic and... Dirty. God, I am such a ninny!
My eyes started to tear up against my will and I struggled to escape his strong grip but he held me tightly against his chest and breathed lightly in my face. He smelled of spearmint and musk... Also broomsticks.
"Hermione, was that your first kiss?" He asked lightly, no cruelty in his voice only pleased amusement and I nodded my head and tore my gaze from his, waiting for his rejection.
But he simply chuckled and mumbled something about, "adorable lioness'" when he leaned down to kiss my neck while my head was tilted away. Oh god, had my skin always been so sensitive, I thought incoherently as I gasped as he kissed and licked my collarbone and beneath my chin. Ohhhh, it felt so good...
While I was distracted by his amazing neck kisses he leaned back up to capture my lips in his own, and it was heaven. Oh, the sensations! I sighed and he took advantage of my open mouth to make the kiss deeper. I started to moan as he traced my tongue with his and my body felt like it was on fire. He put one hand in my wild mane and another running down my side to rest firmly on my hip.
God, why hadn't we done this years ago?
He slowed the kiss, parting from my lips briefly to meet them again, peppering kisses along my pouted lips until he dove in one more to kiss me deeply, sucking lightly on my tongue in the process. He broke apart, breathing heavily and I leaned my head against the crook of his neck and tried to gather myself. He ran his thumb up and down my hip and I couldn't help but blush harder and wish he would move his hand farther in-between my legs and...
No, I hadn't even done that myself. I don't know what I want him to do.
Just keep kissing me, my mind supplied. Suddenly he pulled back and stared at my face with a small smirk and amused eyes.
"So, Hermione Granger doesn't know everything... Who would've thought?!" Draco teased as he ran a hand through my hand and the other came to stroke my bright red cheek.
"This blush is the loveliest one I have seen" he remarked coyly, causing me to blush harder and glance down at my feet. "Don't be so shy, love, you were wonderful... Best kiss ever I'd say" he said matter-of-factly and I glared at him, coming back to my confidence and trying not to swoon as he called me 'love'.
"Do you say that to all the girls you kiss, or just the ones you've slept with? Should I be glad to be another twit to fall for your handsome good looks and charm?" I asked bitterly, more angry at myself than at him. How could I have been so foolish to show attention to such a womanizer!? He simply smiled and shook his head.
"No, Hermione, you are one of a kind. And I haven't slept with a girl since the end of fifth year, I have had a crush on you... And I will wait until your ready for" He trailed off to lean forward and seductively whisper, "other activities" in my ear. And I blushed anew, imagining myself on Slytherin green sheets, naked and writhing while Draco kissed me, also naked and wanting, his-. I gasped and buried my burning face into Draco's chest as he chuckled at my antics. "I am so honored to have been your first kiss" he said somewhat possessively.
"Then that-that changes things a bit," I softly said. Maybe he really had changed. I owed to to myself to give it a chance, after all, how many opportunities at love does a girl get in her life?
Draco cocked his eyebrow as if to say how it changed anything; "I will date you... As long as you stay true to me and allow me to decide when I am ready for... More." I said seriously as I leaned back to look into his face, "I mean it Draco, if you try and play with me I know more hexes than you can imagine... And I have two brothers who will kick your bollocks" I joked lightly.
"I don't know about your boy-wonder or the red head but I will be true to you Hermione" he said, stroking my face lightly and playing with my curls, "I feel alive when I am with you," he told me honestly and we spent the rest of the night before curfew in the alcove together.
Not talking.
I smiled to myself as I walked across the grounds to CoMC with Hagrid, remembering my late night "study" session last night with Malfoy in the Room of Requirement for our end of the term exams. Christmas season is upon us and I still needed to find him the perfect gift.
Maybe me, naked and tied up with a green and silver bow? I shivered and smirked at the thought, I wish I was bold enough.
"Hermione!" Harry called and I walked over to him and Ron. We had all been researching Horcruxes lately to bring down Voldemort and it had been never ending and exhausting. But as I looked at Harry now I knew I would never leave him or betray his friendship, he meant to much to me.
I hugged him and he tentatively hugged back after a moment, surprised at my sudden gesture but pleased none the less. Ron laughed and moved away to goad on the Unicorn.
"'Mione, why did you just hug me?" Harry asked, laughing and running his hand through his messy raven black hair. I laughed back, looking into his happy green eyes and wishing I could hide him from the world we live in.
"Because you have always been so sweet to me; honestly, I don't think I have ever opened a door at Hogwarts with you around! You are a great person Harry, and we all are proud of you" I finished with a happy smile and a laugh as I saw how Harry was scratching the back of his neck and blushing slightly at the praise. I knew he never really received it, but I wanted to give him affection and love that he lacked.
"Thanks 'Mione, love you" he said quietly, glancing around as if afraid to have anyone overhear his unmanly expression of love and I quickly pecked him on the cheek before he ran off with Ron to play with the Unicorn Hagrid had brought to class. Harry; the little brother I never had... I wish I could take away some of his burden. Suddenly I felt a presence behind me and knew Draco was there.
"I heard all of that... I guess Potter isn't so bad if you love" he spat the word, "him so much" he finished moodily, glaring from me back to Harry.
"Draco... Are you jealous?" I asked and he nodded, looking defeated. "You shouldn't be, Harry is like my brother. It is completely platonic." I said and he descended on me, smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"So... Your feelings for me aren't platonic? What are they then? Romantic, lustful?" He breathed into my ear while I shivered and then moved away to join the Gryffindor side of the class. Draco loved getting a blush out of me, but not today.
Soon Christmas time was upon us and I had to decide whether to stay at the castle with Draco or go to the Weasley's as planned.
"I understand if you want to go... But I would love to spend the holidays with you. You're my girlfriend and I care about you-quite a lot... More than anyone" he said, leaning in to softly kiss my cheek before heading off to Herbology and leaving me with a guilty feeling. Draco doesn't have his family either, not really. He needs me, and I need him if I am to get through this war sane. I decide to spend the Christmas with Draco.
And when I tell him he is over the moon.
He just looks into my eyes with his sexy half-smile as he strokes my cheeks with his hands, but his eyes betray how much my gesture means to him, his gray eyes lighting up with sheer joy. I know I am falling in love with him, and as afraid as I am, I want to be in love. I love the butterfly feeling in my stomach when I am around him. The way he makes me laugh, and gets me angry as hell just to watch my passionate tirade.
The way he shuts me up with a kiss. The way I pretend it annoys me when we both know I want him to kiss me again.
"Dra-mmhh-co AHH" I cry as he kisses down my throat and suckles it, the feeling is so powerful... I have never felt this burning before. I just want to rip off my clothes and let him-
Well... I am not sure yet but something more than just kissing for sure.
"Yes, love? What do you want, hmmm?" He teases as he continues to trail feather light kisses down my throat.
I inwardly sigh at his use of the nickname 'love' and blush anew, knowing he wants me to ask for it but unwilling to give up control.
"N-nothing, nevermind" I say as I move away from him and hear his disappointed sigh of frustration. I immediately feel guilty for my rejection and say, through gritted teeth: "Draco, kiss me again please... Please?" I ask nicely, and he smiles knowing how much this statement has cost my wounded pride but he makes up for it in his delightful attentions to my lips and neck.
The sensations! I will never tire of Draco's lips.
When Christmas break starts Draco and I decide to "move-in" to the Room of Requirement since only a handful of students are in the castle and none of them know of the room. I was nervous to be sharing quarters with him of course but we had been together for almost three months so I felt like I knew Draco.
Draco was kind, compassionate, and hid it all behind a well placed mask. He was stubborn and beautiful and one of the most difficult people I have ever met. And I love him.
The first night is supplied us with two large beds, of which I was grateful for. I didn't know if I would be able to ignore my- urges- if Draco was an arms length away; a kitchen nook and a sitting room as well.
The first night I cooked and Draco helped me- by that he played music and distracted me with kisses until the pasta almost burnt in the pot.
"Draco... DRACO!" I squealed as he kissed my neck, licking and nipping while and kneaded my ass through my jeans, ohhhh yes! But I needed to finished dinner, "Draco, let me finish dinner and then- Oh- we can do whatever you want! Please!" I practically begged, the man was relentless!
"Anything I want eh? Not a bad trade, alright love" he whispered in my ear as if he was telling me the naughtiest phrases. I hoped he wouldn't ask for anything too... naughty this evening.
Or maybe I did.
Once dinner was cooked and prepared, I set the table and we sat down and tucked in to eat chicken marsala and greens. Draco teased me about my simple dish but I knew he enjoyed it.
To me it tasted of home. I missed my parents terribly.
Almost as if reading my mind, Draco looked up and asked, "do you miss them very much? Your parents?" He looked at me and in that moment I knew that even though I missed and loved my parents I had never felt this way about another person. This need to protect and love, the desire and longing for him completely and only. And even though we are young, I know I will never love another person the way I love Draco. I love him.
Sappy and completely truthful. He is mine.
"Yes, I do. But it has been easier with you here." I said, and I believed it. Draco was a part of my family now. And although I am afraid to lose him, I would rather take the chance.
It is too late to go back now.
Draco smiled at me, "you are so important to me, you know? I mean it. I know I don't say it often enough but you have changed me for the better." He said almost shyly and I smiled at his conflicting tendencies. He could be so cruel and cold to others, the perfect Slytherin, but with my he is warm and so... So human.
He trusted me, the way he had never trusted anyone else. I would not betray that trust.
Just then Draco informed me then of what he wanted in repayment for leaving me alone in the kitchen: "please play and sing for me?" He asked sweetly, batting his ridiculously long eyelashes at me until I laughed and agreed. I had wanted to sing for him for a while now anyways.
After dinner we went into the sitting room to find a beautiful Steinway sitting there in the middle of the room. I practically drooled but concealed my excitement while I went over and practiced some runs and warm-ups. It had been a handful of months since I had been able to play.
I decided to play and sing "Think of Me" from Phantom for Draco. It seemed to fit our relationship. When I began to sing, I saw Draco's mouth drop open like a fish and I inwardly smirked.
"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye"
I knew I could sing very well, I have a pretty Alto but this Soprano piece gave me no problem at all. I concentrated on the runs and octave jumps as I sang through the piece as I had a hundred times before. When I finished the final run and ended on the high E Draco was stunned. I blushed and looked down, realizing how vulnerable I had made myself. I never sang for anyone but my parents, and of course they said I was wonderful because I was their only child and 'princess.'
What if I wasn't actually good? What if he hated it!
A series of 'what ifs' ran through my mind until Draco got up and crossed the room to me. He quietly moved to stand behind me and leaned down to kiss my forehead in the most tender gesture I have ever received.
"Gorgeous, simply wonderful Hermione... You have a real gift, I cannot wait to hear you sing again... My angel of music" he purred and I came undone, shivering with delight before standing and turning to throw my arms around him.
He remembered the story I told him, the first week, about Phantom! About the Angel of Music! I fell even more in love with Draco after that. He really listened. He cared. He wanted me, so what was I waiting for?
When we went back into the bedroom area I noticed that the two beds had been replaced by one huge four poster bed.
Oh my... Looks like the room adjusted to what we 'required.'
I gulped. I was going to lose my virginity to Draco. Tonight.
*WARNING: Smut between F/M*, youngings should venture no farther
He gently kissed me, tenderly caressing my cheeks and hair as he nibbled at my lips until I gave a long sigh from his attentions. Had anything ever felt this good?
No, no it hadn't.
When I focused back on Malfoy he had begun kissing down my neck to suckle and lick my collarbone as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt. When he stood up straight all I could think of was holy Adonis.
He was perfect, thin tight muscles and slight abs that led down to perfect V hips and slight blonde chest hair. He was strong with broad shoulders. And suddenly I realized this beautiful boy was far to pretty to be seen with a girl like me. As I looked into his silver eyes, looking at me with adoration and tenderness, I wanted to cry.
How could I be with him when I was so inadequate in comparison. It wasn't fair to him.
"Draco... You are so handsome" I said and he smirked, as if to say 'I know' but I just lightly chuckled and shook my head at his antics. "Draco... I cannot be with you. I am not like you..." I swallowed hard and looked away, bracing myself for the inevitable truth, "I am not beautiful." From my soft tummy and fatty thighs and bum to my full breasts and freckles. Draco normally has a size two string bean tart on his arm. I know I am not what he will want once I am bare.
I don't realize but I have begun to shake and Draco gently grabs me and sets me down on the bed, kissing my ear and sucking on my earlobe until I gasped, "My Hermione, for such a smart girl you can be so stupid" he practically growled as he attacked my neck once more, hoping to create a mark there, "can I prove to you how lovely you are?" And I nodded without a coherent thought in my mind as long as he kept kissing me right there...
"Alright then, where shall I start?" He asked himself as he began to unbutton my slytherin green shirt and gaze into my eyes. I gulped in my nervousness but never stopped him. "Should I tell you how lovely I find you curves, the curves of a woman?" He asked me as he ran his large hands up and down my sides and I dropped my head back with a gasp. How could something so ordinary turn me on like this? It was Draco though, so I wasn't surprised.
"Of how about your soft tummy and full breasts?" He teased as he laid me down on the bed and kissed down my cleavage to nibble and lick my stomach and bellybutton. I held onto his shoulders for dear life, moaning like a harlot but not caring. Not as long as he kept kissing me there- right there!"
"Hmm" he groaned as he unbuttoned my jeans and slide them down my legs until they hit the floor with a 'clunk' leaving me on only-
Bloody HELL! Of all the days to wear a thong! I blushed beet red and tried to breathe normally.
"Ohhh I like these" he whispered, looking at my black panties with a look close to adoration. I giggled at his joking and he winked at me saucily before kissing and licking my thighs. Ohh God! I felt a burning in my lower stomach that I had never known, and I squirmed trying to rid myself of the pleasurable but somewhat uncomfortable feeling.
"D-Draco pl-please!" I begged, not knowing what I was begging for but not caring. Not when he was pinching and tickling my right thigh while he kissed and kneaded the left with his hand and mouth. Draco had me a writhing, panting, sweating mess and I wanted him to... to... Oh I don't know! But do something!
Suddenly I was turned over and I think I died right then. Draco was looking at my bare bum, I was about to attempt to cover myself before he started kissing me there too! It seemed dirty, but I could not find it in me to tell him to stop, not when the sensations were so... So wonderful.
"Oh...OHH Draco! Please! Please Draco, I'll do anything! J-Just" I writhed and tried to flip back over but he held my hips in his firm grip and continued to kiss and lightly bite my lower back and bum, moving down to kiss my lower lips through my indecent knickers, until I was almost screaming in pleasure. I had never done anything like this before... It felt like I was finally whole. Like I was no longer a child, but Draco had turned me into a woman.
"Shhhh love, soon enough" Draco whispered in my ear as he gently turned me over and took off his pants and underwear before joining me on the bed. For a brief moment we simple stared at each other, trying to comprehend the huge step we were about to partake in. Suddenly I smiled and softly grazed his chest up and down while he stared at me with... Love in his eyes.
At least, it looked like love to me.
I trailed my hand lower until I grasped his manhood. I glanced down at it in fear, I had never seen one before, but Draco's was beautiful. Everything about Draco was beautiful. He gasped as I began running my hand up and down the pale organ in a slow but steady fashion, watching in wonder as it became even more erect as I stroked it. Suddenly Draco grasped my hand and tilted my chin up to meet his again as he kissed me passionately, deeply, different than anything we had even done before.
"Hermione, are you sure?" He asked me, and I loved him even more for making sure this was what I wanted, no matter what he obviously wanted.
But I was scared, he was huge. At least 3/4 of a foot and thick, and I had no idea how that was suppose to enter my body in any fashion. But I wanted to try for Draco so I put on a brave face and said, "I have never been more sure of anything in my life. Make love to me Draco" I pleaded, hoping he understood I did not want to be fucked, but loved. Tenderly, slowly, taken the way a virgin should be.
Goodness, I could be so cliché.
"As you wish, Milady," he teased, laying me back down and kissing down my body until he reached the final barrier between our naked bodies. I shivered with fear and anticipation, my mind reeling while our heart beat in tandem; this was really happening. He slowly, so tantalizingly slowly, slid my panties down my shapely thighs until he held them in his hand, throwing them to some undefined destination, and smirking at me all the while. I was trying not to hyperventilate from that smirk, his confidence that made me feel safe and overwhelmed all at once.
He leant down and before I could take in a breathe, his blonde head was nestled between my thighs and his vivacious tongue was torturing me in the sweetest ways. He held my hips down when I tried to buck, writhe, do anything to make his tongue go deeper.
"D-Draco-oo!" I cried out when his tongue left my hole to explore my sensitive button, and he nibbled on in gently before taking it into his mouth and sucking. I clenched the bedsheets in my small hands and tried to move my body, attempting to run from that wicked mouth but I ended up rocking against his face for more. I was quaking, my entire body burning from the heavy sensations and I released with a spastic cry. Draco continued his aural attentions until I could take it no longer, and begged him to stop.
"Did my little bookworm like that?" He teased after a moment, but I was too far gone to care. He stroked my curls from my sweaty forehead, and I was sure I looked like a lion's mane after all the tossing and squirming.
"You are dangerous" I said once I could once again form words, and Draco only chuckled before turning back over me. I felt his acute desire pressing upon my thigh, and I knew I wanted Draco in me.
I looked into his eyes with what I hope conveyed trust, and he nodded excitedly before he began to kiss me once again. He gently rubbed my love button until I was moaning and wet with desire, and then he positioned himself at my entrance. I began to shake from nerves, until he kissed me like a dying man with all the passion of an age, using his tongue to thrust in and out of my mouth in a decidedly dirty fashion, and I forgot about my nerves and the "what ifs," and the need for control, and I felt.
And it felt painful. As he entered, slowly, I could feel my body stretching to encompass such a mass. I felt as if I was being split in two, and I was on fire. I attempted to cover my pain filled cries but it was no use, and soon tears were streaming down my face. I tried to hid my anguish from his gaze but he saw and stilled immediately, asking if I was alright. I nodded, barely able to complete the small gesture of confirmation, before he kissed me forehead and began to rock, ever so gently, back and forth. In and out. In and out.
Slowly, before I realized, the pain was transforming into another sensation. The overwhelming fullness was still present, but so was the building pleasure. I could feel him touching my walls inside as well as stroking my love button with deft fingers and the feelings overwhelmed my hectic mind. I began moaning and rocking with Draco, losing myself in his steel-grey eyes. He teased me with the slow pace, and I moaned and begged until he finally, finally, conceded to my cries for 'more' and 'harder.' Soon both of us were yelling out each other's names in ecstasy, collapsing side by side in bed, curled up in limbs and panting for air.
We enjoyed the peaceful interlude as we attempted to regain our senses, and as my conscious mind returned to me, I nuzzled further into Draco's chest, truly content.
"I love you" I said, and heard it echoed at the same time from another pair of lips. Draco's lips. We stared at each other and repeated the epithet into the darkness before succumbing to sleep, not noticing his converse and my green blouse were crumpled together on the floor.
The End
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or these characters, and I apologize if they are a bit too fluffy!